Stargazer47 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 :confused:New here. Need advice. Married over 5 yrs, husband distant throughout marriage. I was never able to get close, like his friends were. How can a spouse keep their W in the dark, all the time, while his W, knew the truth, about the A. Trying to get the truth was like trying to fly to pluto. It never happened. Men, can you love your wife, but have an A, and be able to remain silent, till divorce. If so, does it bother you at all? And one more for Men please, if you are married and dont want to be intimate with your W, for a year, even though your W asked constantly, what is going on? Need some closure....Trying to find closure and peace... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Men, can you love your wife, but have an A, and be able to remain silent, till divorce. If so, does it bother you at all? And one more for Men please, if you are married and dont want to be intimate with your W, for a year, even though your W asked constantly, what is going on? Need some closure....Trying to find closure and peace... Let's say you were able to get him to spill his guts and lay all his selfish, twisted and self-serving reasons for cheating on the table. What would you do with this new found knowledge? I guess you could use it to understand more clearly what a dishonest jerk he is but there already seems to be plenty to go on in that regard. Be thankful you got out fairly early and relatively easily. Some have wasted decades dealing with a distant and cheating spouse, hopefully you've got much life ahead of you. If you're going to look at him. make it in your rear-view mirror ... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stargazer47 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 Honestly, If he would have told the truth, I would have accepted that. Not knowing, is worse and more heart breaking, than hearing the truth, that he had an affiar. Excellent, thank you.... Lucky? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Lucky? Miserable first marriage that ended over ex-wife's cheating many years ago. "Lucky" enough to find a woman stubborn enough to put up with me and loving enough to show me the way. In many ways she's my superior and I'm grateful for every day with her. Your ex had the affair because cheaters cheat, lied about it because that's what liars do. They don't even think about it, just comes naturally to them. Your job is to pick better next time... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl14 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 My best friends husband left her out of the blue. They were getting ready to meet with the realtor to buy a house that day. she came home and he was gone. After the divorce and 2 years later he came crawling back. She had moved on. To this day she doesnt know why. She never got any answers. Sometimes you dont get answers. As far as cheaters go, they are usually the ultimate cowards. They cant take the responsibility of fixing their marriage instead they run off to fantasy land. No surprise that your H wont admit to an A.It sounds like he's a lying, cheating, coward. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 You could just as easily be in the infidelity section just because you suspect an A. By the looks of things you hung in there for 5 years hoping for answers to his detachment. There's no use waiting for answers now that he's pi$$ed off. He's completely detached himself now. Why? Who knows. For your own sanity just write the reasons you suspect. Get a good counsellor to help you resolve the questions you have. The marriage dissolved quickly for him because he wasn't attached. The counsellor will also help you to put this marraige and complete relationship where H Put it. In the bin. Best wishes Lion Heart. Link to post Share on other sites
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