long distance relationship i think my fiancee has cheated.

[mradona]

My fiancee and i met over 3 years ago late 2011,i live in uk,she lives in usa.We got together in march 2012,after talking on facebook,then skype for a number of months.Everything was going really good for us,and i visited her for the first time in jan 2013,had a great time,met the kids and her parents.Visited again in june 2013 and again had a great time.Visited her a few more times over the next year and got engaged in july 2014.I last visited in oct 2014,again had a great time,she told me she wants to meet my family in person,so we both agreed she would fly here in jan this year,in nov a school friend messaged her on facebook,who she hadnt seen in years,i had no problem with that,she told me.She told me he told her how pretty she was,and wanted to meet just to catch up,i told her ok,i trusted her,she told me that she had decided not to go.over the next month or so,he had called her a few times,she told me every time.problem started in jan,i asked her when she was coming,she hadnt even got her passport yet,told me she would sort it,she would not be here in jan tho.jan 27th we had a big falling out,over nothing.she messaged me in the evening and asked what i had done during the day,she always asks me,told her i had listened to music and helped my dad,out of no were she said,so you were not thinking of me.I told her of course,she said you would have said if you were,i had no idea what was going on,never been like this before.she told me its over,i was in shock,she logged off,next day she messaged my sister,asking if i was ok,my sister phoned me asking what was wrong,i told her what happened.I posted on my facebook a sad face and my sister,posted saying you will be ok,my fiancee started being nasty with her,so my sister put her in her place.jan 29th she messaged me saying she was sorry and wants to work things out,i told her ok,the next 7 days she was not on facebook much,but we were ok when she was on,i noticed tho that she was not saying the things she normally would,or sending the kisses,smiley faces like usual,on thursday feb 5th,she sent me a kiss on facebook,i sent her one back in about 20 secs,for some reason she again lost it with me,saying i took to long.she then logged out,she messaged me back in a few hours saying she wants a break,i wasnt happy but had no choice but to agree to it,the break lasted 3 days,she messaged me on sunday 8th,asking if i was ok,told her not really,she then said its over i wont bother you anymore,i was real upset and i blocked her on facebook,deleted everything,pics etc,i googled and it says thats what you have to do to heal,she messaged me on monday 16th feb on her kids account,saying she still loves me and misses me.i unblocked her and started talking to her,she told me she wants to take things real slow,and she wont be on much,im not sure what made me look,but i went on to that guys facebook page,and couldnt believe what i saw,when we had a break,she had gone to that guys house same night,and had posted on his facebook page,thank you for last night,i really needed that,and he said thank you.she also had wished him a happy valentines and said she loved him,he said he loved her with all his heart,they had also spent all last week together,i messaged her and asked wth is going on,she told me nothing has happened,he was just a shoulder to cry on,i asked her about,saying you loved him and he loves you,she said she dosnt want to talk about t,and said its all my fault,i asked her how is it my fault,she said you deleted everything of me on your facebook,i told her,you ended it,i was trying to heal,seeing her pics,had me heartbroken,i took screenshots of that guys facebook and posted them on my wall,so everyone could see,what they had been saying,she went of it and told me to remove them,i didnt,then she logged out,i dont know what to do

[d0nnivain]

Paragraphs are your friends. Use them!

 

 

Anyway you had an LDR / OLR with a woman from the UK. You knew each other for 3 years with only 3 times being physically together before you proposed. [shakes head in disbelief]

 

 

The idea was your FI would come to you this January but she blew that off, didn't get a passport, didn't book a flight & didn't show up. I'm guessing neither of you talked to your respective governments about relocating to one another's countries.

 

 

Then after she starts talking to some old male friend from school you two have a fight. Afterwards she asks about your day & when you don't gush about pining every waking moment for her, she dumps you. Drama queen much? She was looking for any excuse, you know that right?

 

 

Two days later this EX-FI stirs up trouble & drama with your sister. Then she says she wants to reconcile with you. Within the next 2-3 weeks you break up & make up at least 2 more times.

 

 

Next thing you find out -- because she posts it on FB -- is that she spent the night with the guy from school. Then you posted all the junk she had been saying about him on your FB wall so everyone could see. Not very mature or smart on either of your parts.

 

 

Now you want to know what to do next.

 

 

It's simple, accept this break up & leave her be. You two really didn't know each other well enough to be married. She clearly isn't committed to you or she would have been at the AP the day before she was supposed to come to you, chomping at the bit to move forward. Instead, she hasn't even applied for a passport. She has no intention of marrying you & the sooner you figure that out, the faster you can start healing.

 

 

Moving forward, date people in your own geographic area.

 

 

BTW, but for the fact that she mentioned she has kids (plural) based on this post, I would assume you two are very young. Neither of you is ready for marriage.

[justwhoiam]

So much drama, WTH.

 

What to do? There was too much back & forth, break up and make up. I know this can happen, and I would usually give it another chance. But she didn't show love for you, rather emotional dependency. And based on that, I think it's better for you to really turn the page, without looking back.

 

Give her closure, tell her you love her and you understand she has feelings for you, but that is not enough for you to build anything together.