missannoyed Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Anyone got any instances where their MM has become extremely jealous? I've gone NC now and starting to move on, but ex-mm is texting me asking about dates, or guys in my fb pictures and getting "bitchy" Trying to make me jealous back by saying things like "wasn't sure if it were you who has a new boyfriend or some other girl I stalk" And me saying "I don't have a boyfriend must be another girl you stalk leave me alone" And him saying "never stalk anyone except for you" Uhhhh Ok.....First of all how do they even get jealous and possessive if their married?! I'm confused what his trying to do. The games continue even after NC.... or should I say LC Link to post Share on other sites
pheonixrisen Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 If you are NC. ..how is it you are having this conversation with him ....NC mean going dark ..deleting and blocking him from all your account so that he cannot contact you. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
nikki76 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Exactly what the above poster said, you need to block him completely. You're not in NC mode if you are messaging him. Block him completely and you won't have to deal with his annoying comments. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Are you posting pics of other men with you to get a reaction? FB is a trigger if it was a communication tool you used in the past. All the blocking, unblocking...temptation to look at their profile etc. I recommend taking down your page for a good long time. In Fb you can disable your profile temporarily. You can always go back later and all contacts and posts stay the same but take a healthy break and get your healing in true progress and get your health back. This is a game you too are playing and its toxic. NC means...dead. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Sounds like high school. No thanks. Block that drama 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaintedLuv Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 (edited) My exMM was insanely jealous. That's a huge part of why I didn't date anyone for most of the seven years while we were involved. I dated in between longer NC periods but when we d reconnect, I would be interrogated about what I've done and it wasn't pretty. It's pretty insane to deal with considering what he does at home with another woman that I would be the one in the wrong but it was all part of this manipulative hold that I allowed him to have over me. He even went as far as giving me ultimatums when I did meet someone- him or me. Imagine. I let myself walk away from so many single men for him but one thing I always make sure of- even now is to never post anything online that warrants a reaction. Years ago, I got to meet a band at a show and posted a picture of the lead singer and I. He went ballistic thinking I had a new bf. Mind you, we were months into NC and during this time they were trying to conceive and he still came after me again. He even stalks online dating sites to find my profiles so he can tell me how those men only want to sleep with me. So now I can't even try to meet someone online cause he'll find me. It just goes to show you just how irrational these situations are. Edited February 18, 2015 by TaintedLuv Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Let's not start warping the definition of NC. My best friend did this as well and kept saying she's NC when they were still in contact, just less than and not of the quality she wanted. NC means just that: Absolutely NO contact. No texting, no FB messages, no seeing each other, no phone calls, not even to argue. Anyway, yes, my xMM acted jealous. It's part of feeling like they will lose you. Link to post Share on other sites
Chasing_mya Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 You need to block him from all social media, cell phone, emails, messenger..etc. Don't allow him the opportunity to be able to reach out to you and ask questions. What you do is YOUR business and he's no longer a factor. He's a MM and needs to focus on his wife & marriage. You are simply entertaining his BS......stop giving him the satisfaction and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Anyone got any instances where their MM has become extremely jealous? I've gone NC now and starting to move on, but ex-mm is texting me asking about dates, or guys in my fb pictures and getting "bitchy" Trying to make me jealous back by saying things like "wasn't sure if it were you who has a new boyfriend or some other girl I stalk" And me saying "I don't have a boyfriend must be another girl you stalk leave me alone" And him saying "never stalk anyone except for you" Uhhhh Ok.....First of all how do they even get jealous and possessive if their married?! I'm confused what his trying to do. The games continue even after NC.... or should I say LC You have not blocked him on all social media, and your email/cell and you keep reading what he writes you so you're NOT in NC mode, far from it. What he says to you affects you. BLOCK him. Why haven't you done that yet? Unless you like to know what he is thinking and you like that he's jealous. Bottom line is, if you want the games to stop, block him on fb, email, text, etc..etc... Your A is completely over? Then do it. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I would block entirely, no contact!! Link to post Share on other sites
Cressida Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 My crazy-ass exMM was the epitome and a whole new definition of jealous...he'd get enraged by my friend list on Facebook, which had several former male classmates. Asked me to delete them, even though I had never had anything to do with any of them, didn't even keep in touch or something. Went through phone records, mail, etc everything for about six months, on a daily basis. Would have physical reactions (red face, jumped off the seat and left, etc.) and get extremely jealous if he saw me talking to men in perfectly normal circumstances, work, at the bank, etc. I was supposed not to speak with absolutely anyone. He also said that if he was to have his way, I'd never leave the house unaccompanied and I'd always wear something that would cover me from head to toe so no one could see me. Sheesh! Link to post Share on other sites
janetl Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Agree with other posters. Go complete NC: this is toxic. My ex-MM was never jealous. In fact one of the many reasons we stopped the affair that he started feeling guilty that I will not move on and find someone else that I deserve to have fully. But that is because we were very very good friends and cared for each other deeply - not just affair partners. MM/MW being jealous is hypocrisy. ex-MM/ex-MW being jealous is stupidity. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Anyone got any instances where their MM has become extremely jealous? I've gone NC now and starting to move on, but ex-mm is texting me asking about dates, or guys in my fb pictures and getting "bitchy" Trying to make me jealous back by saying things like "wasn't sure if it were you who has a new boyfriend or some other girl I stalk" And me saying "I don't have a boyfriend must be another girl you stalk leave me alone" And him saying "never stalk anyone except for you" Uhhhh Ok.....First of all how do they even get jealous and possessive if their married?! I'm confused what his trying to do. The games continue even after NC.... or should I say LC I just want to point out that this isn't NC. NC means NO CONTACT...zero...you don't respond to texts and if the person keeps sending you messages you ignore or block them. Going back and forth in conversation with the MM about your dating life is not NC. I think you should go NC COMPLETELY and for real or else you're agreeing to this "game" just as much as he is and are getting something out of his jealous rants...maybe you like to make him jealous? Maybe you like that he cares? I get it BTDT. One of my guy friend's explained it best when he said that a man can be jealous and think a woman is "his" even if he doesn't want her. He was talking about his ex gf who he kept wishing would break up with him and who he had cheated on and she finally did leave and got a new man and he was explaining his possessiveness and how even if you don't love her she's still yours...I was like wtf...but I also can't say I haven't had irrational jealousy before. So a MM being jealous can be more about his entitlement and not wanting others to have you even if he won't give you what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missannoyed Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 Yeah he's now doing this thing where he says triggering things to get a reaction from me. Now I'm the jealous psychotic one. He's good at winding me up. He wants me to move back to his city. I think that would be bad? Another attempt at NC here we go - deleted social media check Link to post Share on other sites
Author missannoyed Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 I'm just curious to see what/if your MM plays games with you and what are they????? like push pull, victim/aggrivator etc.. Link to post Share on other sites
Blu72 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Push/pull hot/cold. When he does this he will come back around and act like I was the distant one. Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnimon Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Sorry to say this but, in the end the whole thing seemed like nothing more than a game. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author missannoyed Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 It used to be push/pull with us too...for a year. Now its changed to a new one. Him saying ambiguous things that trigger me off me acting like a psychotic, him blaming me for being crazy, even though it was him that made me like that. I go NC with him for a few weeks, he comes back and apologises for annoying me and it starts again. Think I'd prefer the old hot/cold to this. Future Goal: NC for 1 month. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Yeah he's now doing this thing where he says triggering things to get a reaction from me. This is on you because you never blocked. You also could have deleted messages, but you chose to read them, therefore knowing NC should have been in place, you allowed him to have power over you. I do feel for what you're going through, but if you truly wanted it all to stop, for him to leave you alone for good, you'd do everything possible to cut him out of your life. Now I'm the jealous psychotic one. He's good at winding me up. Obviously you let him wind you up! You were supposed to be in NC mode, but chose to still have contact with him. You reacted and he's laughing. GET MAD and stop playing his game!!! He wants me to move back to his city. I think that would be bad? Why is this a question mark??? What do you think. this is YOUR life, nobody here is living it, so do what is best for you. IF you like the drama and are addicted to this roller coaster, then go, move and put up with this crap. If you are done, then DO NOT MOVE. Nobody is forcing you to do anything. Another attempt at NC here we go Attempt? Why not "NC FOR GOOD THIS TIME." - deleted social media check And what else? Email, cell? All this will end when you block him for good. Stop playing his game. Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 My God. These men are married and get other women to fall for them. One of life's greatest mysteries. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 No games, sometimes I go MIA (even online) for a couple of days and this annoys him. I only get clingy when he goes overseas, he knows this so he emails me before he flies out, when he lands, etc Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Sorry to say this but, in the end the whole thing seemed like nothing more than a game. If I could like this a million times, I would. There were apparently some very real feelings involved but... I still feel like I was a pawn in his game. He will deny it until he dies, but I will always feel that way. Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 You need to block all avenues that he is able to get through to get to you. He is like a little boy who feels threatened by a bigger boy in the playground and tries to keep his hold on you by playing the jealousy game. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missannoyed Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 he is a grown man but most people that know him describe him as a little child! I'm going to go NC, its just i try every few weeks for the last couple of years. But have been scared to fully commit to blocking. The thing is, I know that if I don't. I'll move back to his city like he wants we'll have a full blown A, he'll go hot cold, the w will find out and he will most likely throw me under the bus.... There's just no self control for either of us. Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 I'm just curious to see what/if your MM plays games with you and what are they????? like push pull, victim/aggrivator etc.. No games. The only games we had to deal with were from the BW. Link to post Share on other sites
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