Jealous MM

[missannoyed]

I just.... F****ing hate him so much!

 

He got jealous at me, now has made me jealous by saying he got me mixed up with some other young single female that he stalks.

 

I tried to break into his fb, he found out, I asked him who she is, he said you tell me. Grrr. Then at the end of the conversation he denied it,

Then at the very end he said "goodbye. Catch up tomorrow"

And I flipped, I said you know I live in a different city to me perhaps you got me mixed up with some other girl again....

And all he said was "have a good night"

 

 

Grrrr. I am blocking him. Part of me wants revenge for all the stuff he's put me through though. Is that so bad for me to want revenge before I go NC?

 

Gahhgggghhhhhh

[whichwayisup]

he is a grown man but most people that know him describe him as a little child!

 

I'm going to go NC, its just i try every few weeks for the last couple of years. But have been scared to fully commit to blocking.

 

The thing is, I know that if I don't. I'll move back to his city like he wants we'll have a full blown A, he'll go hot cold, the w will find out and he will most likely throw me under the bus....

 

There's just no self control for either of us.

 

WHAT are you afraid of? Your A is over anyway, so NC won't kill you. Don't be afraid of feeling pain.

 

You are letting fears get in the way of reality and what you know. Woman up and be strong. Your life is exactly the way is because of your choices. IF you want freedom, a new life, a healthy life, stay away from him and CUT him out of your life. Your A has been over for a couple years right? It's just NC has been broken...End it once and for all. Get counseling if you can't cope with doing it on your own.

[whichwayisup]

I just.... F****ing hate him so much!

 

He got jealous at me, now has made me jealous by saying he got me mixed up with some other young single female that he stalks.

 

I tried to break into his fb, he found out, I asked him who she is, he said you tell me. Grrr. Then at the end of the conversation he denied it,

Then at the very end he said "goodbye. Catch up tomorrow"

And I flipped, I said you know I live in a different city to me perhaps you got me mixed up with some other girl again....

And all he said was "have a good night"

 

 

Grrrr. I am blocking him. Part of me wants revenge for all the stuff he's put me through though. Is that so bad for me to want revenge before I go NC?

 

Gahhgggghhhhhh

 

You are so addicted to the drama and feelings he brings out in you.

 

You're gonna have to really hit your rock bottom before anything changes. My guess is after reading your last few posts, you're gonna move, have that full on affair, get busted by his wife and yes, get thrown under the bus and then you'll be devastated, feel used and hate yourself for being so weak.

 

Do counseling asap. Tell everybody in your life that you're close to, to HELP you get out of this affair. Allows others to kick some sense into you.

[Confused48]

 

Think I'd prefer the old hot/cold to this.

 

Future Goal: NC for 1 month.

 

NC for one month! To me that means this a a manipulation tactic by you. NC is just your own push pull game.

 

he is a grown man but most people that know him describe him as a little child!

 

I'm going to go NC, its just i try every few weeks for the last couple of years. But have been scared to fully commit to blocking.

 

I just.... F****ing hate him so much!

 

He got jealous at me, now has made me jealous by saying he got me mixed up with some other young single female that he stalks.

 

I tried to break into his fb, he found out, I asked him who she is,

 

You are both acting like this is a high school crush situation. You like this?! You are one half of this crazy train.

 

You are so addicted to the drama and feelings he brings out in you.

 

You're gonna have to really hit your rock bottom before anything changes. My guess is after reading your last few posts, you're gonna move, have that full on affair, get busted by his wife and yes, get thrown under the bus and then you'll be devastated, feel used and hate yourself for being so weak.

 

^^^^what she said!

Edited February 22, 2015 by Confused48

[missannoyed]

OK - I've blocked him on everything now.

 

But what if I've made a mistake and he really is an exception?

 

Help... Feeling scared about these choices.

[whichwayisup]

OK - I've blocked him on everything now.

But what if I've made a mistake and he really is an exception?

 

Help... Feeling scared about these choices.

 

Bolded - NO mistake. He is NO exception. I'd bet my life on this. you've made the right choice by blocking him.

 

What are you scared of? Make a list.

[missannoyed]

Whichwayisup, I do not know you but.... whenever I post

your harsh yet intelligent replies always have a way with me. Thank you so much. Just know your presence on this forum does make a huge and positive effect to people's lives; and for that I thank you.

 

I unblicked him to message him..... Letting him know that I was going to block him and it was the last text he would recieve from me,

He replied instantly, in which he usually does not respond,

But he said......

 

"Okay, will speak when you calm down"

 

 

Which means...... He obviously does not take me seriously with this NC

 

I have blocked him now. And hope that he cannot contact me in any other way.

 

I feel like dying? I feeling like drinking myself into oblivion and never waking up.

 

I feel like sleeping for the rest of my life so I can never think about him again.

 

I'm such a mess right now

 

I know you guys know I bring it on myself which I do

 

But I just feel like I'm in desperate need of words of support.

 

 

I feel suicididal like I'll never have that connection again,

 

Oh my god. Has anyone gone NC? Completely? And had a happy ending with someone else,?

 

I'm beside myself in tears and pain

 

I don't think I can ever get passed this I'm so depressed and feel like killing myself.

 

 

I'm so pathetic I can't believe what ive become

[missannoyed]

Can someone..\ anyone

 

Please help me.

 

I don't know what to do anymore?

 

Tears are rolling down my face and I feel pathetic.

 

Where do I go from here? What to do with myself?

 

I am so lost. I've never been this hopefully and embarassingly pathetic

 

I feel like going swimming with a toaster right now.

 

So d:)&(:& up! I want to die. I'm crying. What if he were the one?

 

What if I actually am crazy and psychotic like him and all my friends say!?

 

Maybe I messed things up with him

 

 

I don't know I'm just so embarrassed and ashamed and lost

[sagamore]

You're not alone. You have people who love you and want you to stay safe. Your life has value. You will recover!

 

One day, one night at a time. You're in the worst of it now - this is like heroin detox. But gradually you will start to feel more like yourself.

 

Can you call someone? Hurting yourself is not the answer. Hang in there.

[gettingstronger]

Oh dear- don't let such a selfish person as the MM wreck you like this-what do you mean crazy like him and his friends say you are- come on, they need to be meaningless to you- you made a mistake by falling in love with someone that is not available, you made a mistake by believing a liar BUT you are not pathetic-you are hurt and lonely- the MM is your source of pain and feeling of worthlessness-you will get to a place where you understand that- do something, anything today to be a little better than you were yesterday-work your way away from wallowing in pity- acknowledge your pain but work through it, day by day, little by little-

[whatatangledweb]

Can someone..\ anyone

 

Please help me.

 

I don't know what to do anymore?

 

Tears are rolling down my face and I feel pathetic.

 

Where do I go from here? What to do with myself?

 

I am so lost. I've never been this hopefully and embarassingly pathetic

 

I feel like going swimming with a toaster right now.

 

So d:)&(:& up! I want to die. I'm crying. What if he were the one?

 

What if I actually am crazy and psychotic like him and all my friends say!?

 

Maybe I messed things up with him

 

 

I don't know I'm just so embarrassed and ashamed and lost

 

Hon, it's not the one. If he were he would not play these mind games with you nor would he play with your emotions. You are not crazy or psychotic. He winds you up then calls you that to make it your fault. No one deserves to be treated that way.

 

You move forward by NC and grieving the relationship. I wish there was a way to skip that part but there isn't. Make small goals and work towards them. I am so sorry you are hurting.

[the_artist_1970]

My God. These men are married and get other women to fall for them. One of life's greatest mysteries.

 

Exactly. I will never understand how MM get these women to not only fall for them but to believe everything that comes out of their lying mouth. It's a mystery that I will never understand.

[the_artist_1970]

Whichwayisup, I do not know you but.... whenever I post

your harsh yet intelligent replies always have a way with me. Thank you so much. Just know your presence on this forum does make a huge and positive effect to people's lives; and for that I thank you.

 

I unblicked him to message him..... Letting him know that I was going to block him and it was the last text he would recieve from me,

He replied instantly, in which he usually does not respond,

But he said......

 

"Okay, will speak when you calm down"

 

 

Which means...... He obviously does not take me seriously with this NC

 

I have blocked him now. And hope that he cannot contact me in any other way.

 

I feel like dying? I feeling like drinking myself into oblivion and never waking up.

 

I feel like sleeping for the rest of my life so I can never think about him again.

 

I'm such a mess right now

 

I know you guys know I bring it on myself which I do

 

But I just feel like I'm in desperate need of words of support.

 

 

I feel suicididal like I'll never have that connection again,

 

Oh my god. Has anyone gone NC? Completely? And had a happy ending with someone else,?

 

I'm beside myself in tears and pain

 

I don't think I can ever get passed this I'm so depressed and feel like killing myself.

 

 

I'm so pathetic I can't believe what ive become

 

If you are feeling suicidal please call a suicide hotline immediately. The issues you have is not MM, but something much deeper. You need help and being with a MM is not going to solve anything. Please get into therapy to find out what is really going on inside you that makes you feel so hopeless just because this one man (who is a jerk) is making you so crazy. It's not about him at all, it is all about you and how you feel about yourself. No one should be all consumed with another person so deeply that it impacts their will to live.

[whichwayisup]

Whichwayisup, I do not know you but.... whenever I post

your harsh yet intelligent replies always have a way with me. Thank you so much. Just know your presence on this forum does make a huge and positive effect to people's lives; and for that I thank you.

 

You're welcome, glad to help.

 

I unblicked him to message him..... Letting him know that I was going to block him and it was the last text he would recieve from me,

He replied instantly, in which he usually does not respond,

But he said......

 

"Okay, will speak when you calm down"

 

He knows how to manipulate and push your buttons, he knows your weaknesses which is why you MUST continue to keep him on block. This game he's playing with you is doing so much damage to you. Ignore your feelings for him and keep telling yourself being in NC is what is best for you. Who cares what he thinks anymore. What counts is YOU, not him.

 

 

Which means...... He obviously does not take me seriously with this NC

 

I have blocked him now. And hope that he cannot contact me in any other way.

 

IF need be, change your cell number. Create a new facebook account with a middle name instead of your first name that way he can't find you.

 

I feel like dying? I feeling like drinking myself into oblivion and never waking up.

 

Don't drink! That won't solve the problem. let yourself grieve and feel that pain, it's final pain, a letting go pain and once you heal from that you will feel so much better.

 

I feel like sleeping for the rest of my life so I can never think about him again.

 

I'm such a mess right now

 

I know you guys know I bring it on myself which I do

 

But I just feel like I'm in desperate need of words of support.

 

 

I feel suicididal like I'll never have that connection again,

 

Seek counseling, go talk to a professional who can help you cope with this in healthy way.

 

Oh my god. Has anyone gone NC? Completely? And had a happy ending with someone else,?

 

I'm beside myself in tears and pain

 

I don't think I can ever get passed this I'm so depressed and feel like killing myself.

 

You won't die. Your life was fine before you met him and will be again once you grieve and get over him. Don't be afraid.

 

 

I'm so pathetic I can't believe what ive become

 

You're not pathetic. What you feel is normal and everybody has gone through break up's, whether it's an affair or a regular relationship, a marriage ending, you treat it like a death because that's what it is, a life and a person you need to let go of.

[whichwayisup]

Can someone..\ anyone

 

Please help me.

 

I don't know what to do anymore?

 

Tears are rolling down my face and I feel pathetic.

 

Where do I go from here? What to do with myself?

 

I am so lost. I've never been this hopefully and embarassingly pathetic

 

I feel like going swimming with a toaster right now.

 

So d:)&(:& up! I want to die. I'm crying. What if he were the one?

 

What if I actually am crazy and psychotic like him and all my friends say!?

 

Maybe I messed things up with him

 

 

I don't know I'm just so embarrassed and ashamed and lost

 

He wasn't the one. If he was, you wouldn't be sitting here in tears. he wouldn't be married to someone else, he wouldn't be making you cry and playing games with you.

 

God, I just want to give you a big hug and make you understand that losing him is the BEST thing that can happen. He was never yours to begin with.

 

You aren't crazy, he is just making you feel that way because he's an ASS.HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[missannoyed]

Thanks for the replies guys. Can someone help me figure out his last conversation. This happened half an hour ago. It was the goodbye NC Convo.

 

I've blocked him, but he rang me today from I blocked number

I answered..... God dammit!

 

Now I feel even worse than I did the other day.

 

He basically denied any affair ever happened between us.

Insinuated that I am crazy. Told me to move back to his city and then said if I don't be may be sent to my city for work but will "turn it down" I asked why and he said "because I just think that would be wise"

 

He acted like I was confused, he acted like he never ever liked me and that we have only ever been "just friends" (even though he told he how much he liked me on regular occasion and always got jealous over other men)

 

Now he's advising that I move on to other guys, to see a shrink, and that we have only ever been friends and that he is confused by my texts because there has never been anything between us and that I need to lock myself in a room with a male my age for 24 hours.

 

He said that he was flattered by the attention I give him and that he think I like to play games with him and said he "does not realise when he is playing games with me"

 

He asked questions about my new boyfriend, (who doesn't exist)

And asked if I have told my new "boyfriend" about him?

 

And I said why would I, if you claim there's nothing between us and has never been?

 

He said he loves his wife, loves me "as a friend" and then told me a story about a girl my age that hit on him, and how he heroically rejected her because he is "married" - even though I remember him telling me this story two years ago and the girl in the story was initially early thirties, now he's changed the story to say she was "25" a few years older than me. He also said that she was a pretty little thing and he would have "jumped her bones" if he were not married.

 

I am so confused?! After years of seeing him and him telling me how much he likes me romantically he has decided to "re-write" history in his words making it sound like it was all in my head and suggesting that I'm crazy.

 

Wow. I am so confused. What just happened.

I was too much In shock to know how to respond.

I feel sick in the stomach now. So sick in the stomach I think I may vomit.

[missannoyed]

Basically, I don't even feel like crying anymore over the NC

 

I now feel physically Ill and disgusted, that he pretty much just confirmed what I've been fearing all along / that he is a peice of sh**

 

I want to text him back and abuse him but I don't want to stoop lower than how he's made me feel right now. I'm not upset. I'm not angry.

I just feel so disgusted, embarrassed, and used.

 

I don't know how to react right now nor do I know what to say. I just feel shocked and violated like I've been raped or something. Eurgh.

[whichwayisup]

Don't do anything. Stop reacting, stop contacting. Just let go. This man is f.cked in the head and is purposely making you feel crazy. Don't try to figure out why he is acting this way, you'll never know.

 

Seek counseling because this guy has done a number on you.

 

Change your number if need be.

[Lurkeraspect]

Misannoyed,

 

I went back and read all your previous threads and they seem to all be the same. Mainly, him treating you like crap, and you realizing it, but rolling over for more, thinking he's "the one." I cant even tell if you've ever had a relationship that consisted of more than the occasional lunch or blocks of 30 minutes for texting.

 

This man is not your friend. This man cares about no one but himself. And this will continue for as long as you allow it. He will never be yours, he will likely never leave his marriage, and I'd also bet you're not the first young woman he's pursued,

 

You are wasting your twenties and youth on a forty year old user.

 

Since this circular insanity has been going on for years, I believe you're going to need professional help to work on your issues and break this destructive cycle. You're allowing this man to control your emotions and self worth.

 

Please please please, seek professional help. And if you're feeling suicidal call the suicide hotline. (1800-273-8255)

 

No man is worth this agony and hell.

 

Big hugs to you.