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I think i f'ed up.....


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Hey guys, havent posted in a logn time but here's my story:

 

Ok ::takes ian deep breath:: I guess i'll start by saying that I'm a senior in highschool, haven't had a girlfriend... well haven't really found one that i like. And I'm looking for certain qualities in a girl. I want her to be smart, strong-headed, fun to be around, cute, and a lot more that i can't think of right now. Well I ended up fidning these qualities in my teacher..... she's 12 years older than me. And i wrote her a letter about how i felt about her smetem in late February. It started out as an admiration letter and somehow ended up turning into a love letter toward the end. I let my emotions get the best of me and got carried away. I didn't write anything dirty or anytihng I would say to her face ot get myself kicked in the nuts. Well I'm pretty sure she's figured out it was me b/c i think i gave myself away. I wrote the letter anonymously and left it under her door.

 

Well now I feel differently around her and I'm sure she does too. I feel all weird and shy around her, I can't even make eye contact w/ her. Her body language does the talking or me, she doesn't make eye contact anymore and doesn't really conversate w/ me anymore. At first I didn't notice this at first but then when i started the lack of eye contact I knew i did soemthign wrong. It's either she's shy around me or just weirded out.. And since she's 12 years older than I am I don't think she is shy, she's gotta be weirded out. Adn this eats me up inside b/c I know all of this student-teacher relation crap gong around the country and that isnt what i want. I would never jeopardize her future or mine, its not my intention. She's been through a lot of **** and i don't want to add to it and I feel like i did..

 

Everytiem I take the stairs up to her classroom I always tell myself Ill tell ehr face to face but i always chicken out. How would I bring this up.... and everytime i get an opportunity i nvr take it b/c im scared/petrified. Adn i always ask myself what im scared of and i'm always like there's nothign to be scared of and then i build up this courage. Then when i get enough courage to talk to her someone always takes my opportunity, i guess its an omen or something. Yeah I go to an all boy's school so the young female teachers get a lot of attention.

 

Yeah I feel like crap b/c this isnt supposed to happen between a student and a teacher. Sometimes, I just wish i didnt write her that letter and things went back to the way they were pre-letter we were both happier that way. I didnt feel like this last year then she opened up to us and i was instantly drawn to her. I try to suppress these feelings and try to forget them but i cant get rid of them. Adn it eats me up inside b/c who can i talk to about this... Im close w/ my sister and i cant even tell ehr this. I cant even tell my friends this b/c im afraid of gettign riddiculed, cant talk to other teachers, a very bad idea. God im so confused i shouldnt be having these feelings for her. This is why i dont open up to people becasue i always do something wrong..... Its a double edged sword for me

 

Haha.... I'm a pretty religious person and I'm noticing a pattern of god f***ing w/ me. I ask him for somethign and he gives it to me but in a way i dont expect. Well thanks to all who take the time to read this.

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hey man,,,, its cool that you are waiting for the right person and u have found her or u think u have....

 

anyway let me ask you... is this teacher single? does she have kids or anything?

 

do u really think she may be attracted to you, both physically and emotionally???

 

girls at that age are usually looking to settle down if they havent yet, do u even look like ur in the position of doing that?

 

iss he worth getting into trouble for? i think the worst thing that could happen is the guidance councelor would have a chat with you.... but it may be embarrising.

 

if you can answer these questions that you should be able to figure out what to do next.

 

i do think you should expain yourself to her regrdless (if you decide not to make further moves) IF SHE REALLY KNOWS THAT IT WAS YOU THAT WROTE THE NOTE. IF YOU APPOLOGIZE IT WILL MAKE IT ALL GOOD.

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She's dating, looking for that someone special, no kids, she wants kids but has compicatiosn that i have to keep confidential. As far as being attracted to me, id doubt it but i was never good at reading into those kinds of things even with girls my age. Lol most of the time if i think a girl is attracted to me, she isnt and vice versa. If i could settle down now with her i would. I would willing give up my youthful life for her. I was never into the whole sleep around and be a player. If it werent seen as weird by society I would ask her out. I really honestly do think she is worth evrey bit of trouble, id take a bullet for her. If i could find another person who could make me feel the way i feel around her thats around my age i know it would be bliss.

 

But here's my issue, how do i know what i feel is true and genuine. For all i know this could be infatuation. I mean im pretty sure its love but one could argue that i dont know what love is b/c ive never had a girlfriend. She's 29, I'm 17, she's everything i could ever want in a girl/woman. I'm still trying to understand these feelings i'm having. Maybe im getting head over heels and am living in a fantasy world. I wish i could play that role, but i know i cant.

 

And yeah i need to talk to her about this.... i'm a very shy person and I dont want to leave another letter, it seems spineless to me. lol and how would i address this "Hey hows it goin o yeah btw i wrote u that letter in february..." I was never good at expressing myself face to face but i think this needs to be done face to face. I just freeze up and forget wut i want to say.

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I don't mean to rush or anything but I need some advice because i plan on confronting her about this tomorrow. I really need your help guys and gals.

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hey dude

 

i really think u need to take it easy and not try to be a lover boy

 

tell her you are sorry if the letter offended her....

and see how she reacts, if she comments positively about it.....

 

complement her and say something like,: you just seem like a great person..... the rest will come

 

and if she gives the impression she didn't like it.... just apologize and say you couldn't resist because she

seems like a great person

 

either way you should come out positively....

 

 

i don't think she will date u though...... when do u turn 18????

 

don't try to be pushy or anything... if shes not interested than forget it.

 

 

Hey I don't know tooooo much about relationships but thats my 5 CENTS

 

hahah good luck

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yeha it wasnt my intention to get her to date me or anythign like that. I dunno, looking back on it i think i let my emotions get the best of me. I think what stops me from going up to her is how she is going to react. I'm afraid it'll turn out negatively and knowing my luck it will.

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Ok, it sucks to have a crush on your teacher. I know that your feelings are very strong. But you cannot do this. It won't work out. You haven't even considered all the problems this would cause.

 

Have you thought about her career? If you pursue something, people will think SHE has done something wrong. She could lose her job. She could lose tons of respect and the rumor mill will run out of control.

 

And what do you think your friends and family will think? Not too supportive I think.

 

Just give up this idea. please. It is a bad one.

 

Next year, you'll go to college and meet tons of available, smart girls who are not your teacher.

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yeha it wasnt my intention to get her to date me or anythign like that. I dunno, looking back on it i think i let my emotions get the best of me. I think what stops me from going up to her is how she is going to react. I'm afraid it'll turn out negatively and knowing my luck it will.

 

 

What do you want to happen? What do you want to say when you go up to her?

 

 

I think you should just let it go.

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Well i definately plan on apologizing for the letter and saying that it started out as a letter of admiration and it somehow turned into a love letter because i let my emotions get the best of me. that's what i fear i think she took the letter the wrong way because of the way i wrote it. I don't want to jeopardize anythign in her life. I just want things to go back to the way they were before the letter.

 

edit: I don't want to be her lover i just want to be her friend and i think my letter destroyed that chance..

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Ok, well. Just tell you you're sorry and you don't know what you were thinking. and tell her to please forget about the letter.... I'm sure it'll be fine.

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edit: I don't want to be her lover i just want to be her friend and i think my letter destroyed that chance..

 

 

Well, sorry, but it probably did because she'll feel a bit awkward about it for a while.

 

It's just a mistake that you can learn from.

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I hope so.. well wish me luck and pray that i have the courage to face her because i've been chickening out a lot.

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Fuzzy Chickens

If you're 18, then there's no problem. Just ask her out. If you're under 18, well, you can still go on dates, you'll just have to keep your pants on.

 

It IS possible to date someone without sex being an issue, you know.

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Yeah as much as I would want to date her, I would never cross that boundary, there's too much to risk. I'm not really concerned about myself I'm more concerned about her and possibly ruining her life. Well today is the day, wish me luck.

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Fuzzy Chickens

Whaaa? It's illegal for students and teachers to date, regardless of age? When did this happen?

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Forever.

 

 

Even professors would be chastized for dating a 20 or 21 year old student and would probably lose their job.

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High school is a very tough situation in life. After you get out of high school (at least to me) life was REALLY different, pety high school problems and insecurities seem to dissolve and things get less complicated with relationships. I didn't start dating until I graduated. After graduation I developed new friends and new relationships. I think you have given up on girls your age because high school kids only worry about how popular you are, what brand names you are wearing, if you are cute or ugly.....Once you get out of school your options are endless and you have a new start on who you want to be instead of being pressured into being something you're not in high school. Basically dating a teacher is not a real good idea, there is too much standing in the way of happiness, especially if she isn't into you then more that likely it would never work. Just hold off until you can see the other side of the fence, life get's easier!

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Originally posted by Fuzzy Chickens

I don't suppose you have a link to back this up...

 

Oops. Probably not technically illegal.

However, she would lose her job for dating a student. Even if they were just "friends", people would look at that very badly and think they were sleeping together. Lately several female teachers have been arrested for sleeping with underage students.

 

Plus, I don't think she is interestered in this type of "relationship."

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Fuzzy Chickens
Originally posted by Kimi2464 high school kids only worry about how popular you are, what brand names you are wearing, if you are cute or ugly....

 

Not at the high school that >I< went to... or anyone I know... maybe it's just a California thing.

 

Originally posted by HoldOn

Oops. Probably not technically illegal.

However, she would lose her job for dating a student.

 

THAT depends on school policy.

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