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Mixed Feelings and Second Thoughts


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BrotherAaron

This is ridiculous...

 

She came over today. She said she wanted her necklace. Piece of crap cost $5. But, then, I'm only 20 seconds away, literally, so maybe she did just want her necklace. That's, in essence, what's driving me nuts.

 

Or maybe she wanted to check up on me. I told her that I didn't feel like looking for it, but she was welcome to, just not to bother me too much because I needed to continue to do my homework.

 

She found it, and left. And then, of course, my mind started to wander...

 

No, I didn't break NC. She came over on her own, I didn't invite her, and even then I more or less ignored her, but I couldn't help but take one last look at that ass when she was bent over rummaging for it :rolleyes:

 

back to the good times

 

Sometimes I think that I should reconsider not wanting her back. She told me, at one point, that she missed me. being unsure about her new BF she left me for, I told her not to waste her time. Then, for some reason, she told me about how she slept with him after a week, and felt guilty and like a slut. Well, I didn't even give her the hug she begged me for after that. It was so long and thanks for all the sex, but screw the memories. You've ruined them.

 

Ok I'm not that heartless. That's what's getting to me. I had been waiting with my hopes suspended for her to come back to me. Then I met someone new (a week fling during spring break, never a pontential there for more), and my ex seemed to have been trying to come back to me. Unfortunately for her, I decided taking her cheating ass back wasn't worth risking ruining my chance to have fun with this amazingly hot girl I had met, even if I knew the new girl wouldn't last. I figured, hey... if she's gonna be sitting around wanting me back, she can wait. I'll go have my fun, and if she's still waiting when I'm done, maybe I'll think about it. Maybe not.

 

Is there any reason that I should regret being so harsh? I'm starting to think that she may not be wanting me back as bad, and it's driving me nuts. I feel like I am the dumper now - only I have no remorse because she cheated on me, and left me, and now if I don't want her back I don't have to justify myself. If she's gonna let me have her as a backup, I'm gonna do just that, and feel no worse for having done that. Is that crossing the line?

 

Now we're in a power struggle. Whoever wants the other one back first loses. She's trying to turn the tides in her favor by making me see her. She knows I see her with him, and sometimes I hate her for it. She's also seen me with another girl - or, more acurately, she saw me talking to a girl who came over to get help on homework from my roommate. Still, I wasn't about to assuage her fears... if she wants to be jealous, let her. I am seeing other people, afterall. Just not that girl.

 

Her attitude changed drastically when she found out I'd been seeing other girls. I think she saw that she was on the wrong side of the power struggle when I was too busy making out with a girl to respond to her "I miss you" text messages one night :p

 

I know how I've been feeling, and it's been great, and I'm making great progress... but I've hit a ceiling. Maybe it's time for a rebound relationship... but I don't like rebounding (not that I've ever done it). It's just hurting someone else, and starting the cycle all over again.

 

Ugh. Don't know what I'm gonna do, though. I guess I still miss her, but I know that taking her back won't make me feel like she never left, so I don't waste my time.

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man don't waste your time. she CHEATED on you man, this girl doesn't deserve the time of day. she will only bring you more misery and heartbreak. you have got to just move along and forget her.

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BrotherAaron

Oops wrong thread. If you really want to reply, I reposted it on second chances.

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