'Well, I know if I see you, I will start to like you again .. and I'm scared'

[Barry22]

Well, I can say that was unexpected.

 

Around our breakup there was lots of mixed feelings and confusion, it was a decision we didn't want to do, I really did thought she would of never said any of that especially now we've been broken up nearly two years.

 

But, she's being realistic, she explained that yeah she did really think she'd never like me again, but then she realized its all bull, I was generally fairly surprised she said this. More so, its why she's not met up with me since, I layed everything out that if she's willing to give it a shot, I am too.

 

Also; if its not evidently clear she's a pretty mixed girl, she's beautiful but always had a tough time with guys, she's stubborn as anything, so this is a rather big step seeing she hasn't done this since we broke up.

 

It's been about two days and things have sort of cooled down, I can tell it's still on her mind, when she was talking about the 'stupid things stopping her' like how far I'm going to be away from her when I start University later on in the year, that she thinks it will end like last time (I explained chances are it wouldn't with how different things now are) etc, yesterday when i was talking to her about the interview (Which I had today) she wanted to know the result, I texted her for most of the morning, even that I was given a place on the course at the university which is relatively close to her, she seemed pretty pleased.

 

So to speak, just looking for some routes to go, I could either;

1) Just tell her I do like her, but that may put more pressure on and possibly make her feel differently about it.

2) Wait it out, ask if she wants to meet up, even though as I mentioned she said she's scared to as then she'll end up liking me again.

3) Let one of our mutual friends have a talk to her about it, someone she can look to for advice, maybe she's just scared to open back up.

 

Or, well, I don't know.

 

To give a little added info, all of this came about after I said that I'd give her a hug to cheer her up, she said; .. I was thinking about us earlier .. and also why I haven't really spoken to you as much as I should have .. The reason why I haven't met up with you or Hannah (Mutual friend I mentioned) is, because .. I know if I do, all of the feelings I had for you will come back .. and I'm scared"

 

Then, a little later: 'I've treated you like such s*t since we broke up, I've been such a b*h to you, and it really does amaze me how much you mean to me .. I talked to Josh (Another mutual friend) a few weeks ago and I said some really b*chy things like how I don't think we'll ever get back together, but .. now I know it's all bull**** like right now talking about this it's making some of my feelings come back >.<'

 

Thoughts of what to do next?

Edited February 18, 2015 by Barry22

[quattrob]

Seems like you dont need to do or say anything, she's doing and saying everything herself. Just let time do its work with her. She'll eventually come into terms with her feelings. You just enjoy your life, dont pressure or reach out. Just let her figure it out on her own.

 

Stubborn people cant be pressured or pushed. They need to figure things out on their own. If you pressure they'll run away. My ex is extremely stubborn so i'd know.

 

Good news for you (if you want a chance to reconcile) is that she's falling into that same hole with you in it. And she cant seem to stop it. So just dont do anything, otherwise she'll run. Just keep doing what you are doing.

[Barry22]

Seems like you dont need to do or say anything, she's doing and saying everything herself. Just let time do its work with her. She'll eventually come into terms with her feelings. You just enjoy your life, dont pressure or reach out. Just let her figure it out on her own.

 

Stubborn people cant be pressured or pushed. They need to figure things out on their own. If you pressure they'll run away. My ex is extremely stubborn so i'd know.

 

Good news for you (if you want a chance to reconcile) is that she's falling into that same hole with you in it. And she cant seem to stop it. So just dont do anything, otherwise she'll run. Just keep doing what you are doing.

 

Many thanks buddy, although I do get the impression now she's just blowing hot and cold.

 

Since I haven't really had a conversation like that with her, she's been like her usual self, I'm starting to think that I should of done something as soon as it happened when obviously interest was there.

 

She's blowing hot and cold so I don't know what I should do, whether she's backed away out of fear or just not talking to me because she doesn't care or what, but I am still the type of guy she is looking for to be honest so I have that advantage to play on.

 

She resumed conversation this morning, she responded to my last message with a "Meh>.<" (We were talking about college by the way) then, no response, it's been a hour and she's still online over Facebook.

 

Just ... Agh I hate this:/ What should I do?

[Ruby65]

She's blowing hot and cold because she's just not that into you, sorry to say.

 

Someone who really wants to reconcile doesn't send mixed messages. They don't want to risk losing you.

 

I'm guessing she was recently rejected by someone else and is checking to see if you're still available as a backup option.

 

What should you do? Nothing. Let her do ALL THE WORK from now on, send every message, keep every conversation going. If she really wants to reconcile, she'll do whatever it takes.

Edited February 20, 2015 by Ruby65

[quattrob]

Many thanks buddy, although I do get the impression now she's just blowing hot and cold.

 

Since I haven't really had a conversation like that with her, she's been like her usual self, I'm starting to think that I should of done something as soon as it happened when obviously interest was there.

 

She's blowing hot and cold so I don't know what I should do, whether she's backed away out of fear or just not talking to me because she doesn't care or what, but I am still the type of guy she is looking for to be honest so I have that advantage to play on.

 

She resumed conversation this morning, she responded to my last message with a "Meh>.<" (We were talking about college by the way) then, no response, it's been a hour and she's still online over Facebook.

 

Just ... Agh I hate this:/ What should I do?

 

She is blowing hot and cold because she's a stubborn girl, she's trying to fight against herself. Like I said there's nothing you can really do to make her get back with you the way you want her to. Stubborn people don't like to be pressured or pushed. They need to really decide on their own. That's what she's doing now.

 

 

One day she'll make a final decision (it can take a long time). You just keep enjoying your life and doing what you are doing. You said that you are the type of guy that she is looking for so be confident that things will play out.

[Davidcee]

how long were you guys together and why did things end between you both?

[todreaminblue]

If she has feelings for you ....being honest with her wont change them.....maybe intensify and give credence to why she does feel for you.....i think you should be honest with her.....bite the bullet say what comes from your heart to say and tell her you dont want her to feel pressured..she can have all the time she needs...........it doesnt matter if you are afraid or nervous....that shows you care...caring is never bad.......speak up.....deb