Scarlet2 Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Anyone else experience jealousy of mm's life? His wife is six figures, he's close behind. Vacations, summer house, etc. I've been struggling to pay bills. There was solace in the love. But thats over. What good is it if you're not sharing daily life. I could be happy without being rich if there was love. Seems people stick in relationships for love or money. The lucky ones have both. Now I'm both broke and brokenhearted and he's planning a family winter getaway before the eldest leaves home. He seems quite content with his status quo and I feel like a used toy. Hard to get over any ex when their life seems to be going better. I know I should be focusing on myself but I feel like I'm telling myself platitudes. For me, I don't feel jealousy, it's more like defeat. My MM has had 20 years to build up the life they have and his wife has been making more money than him for a while now and she gets bonuses and free trips, which he gets to pick where they go. I can't give him that because I don't have the money and haven't had the 20 years to build up to it. I like to believe people truly love someone no matter if you live in a box or a mansion but there is truth to those love languages people talk about. For me, I feel loved by spending time; for him it's those trips that make him feel loved. If those trips and money went away, I'm pretty sure my MM wouldn't be with his wife anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 For me, I don't feel jealousy, it's more like defeat. My MM has had 20 years to build up the life they have and his wife has been making more money than him for a while now and she gets bonuses and free trips, which he gets to pick where they go. I can't give him that because I don't have the money and haven't had the 20 years to build up to it. I like to believe people truly love someone no matter if you live in a box or a mansion but there is truth to those love languages people talk about. For me, I feel loved by spending time; for him it's those trips that make him feel loved. If those trips and money went away, I'm pretty sure my MM wouldn't be with his wife anymore. Sooo, what your saying is you're in love with an ********* that uses women? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Just a quick reminder. Just because you (general) don't have money problems doesn't mean you don't have other, far more significant problems. It's important that you don't compare what you're feeling on the inside to your limited view of his outside. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Just a quick reminder. Just because you (general) don't have money problems doesn't mean you don't have other, far more significant problems. It's important that you don't compare what you're feeling on the inside to your limited view of his outside. I agree in general, however money problems is the leading cause of divorce by far. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 I agree in general, however money problems is the leading cause of divorce by far. I don't know what the biggest cause of divorce is. What you say sounds reasonable. But the OP wasn't asking about divorce. I haven't read the her back story, but from what I gather here she is "angry" or "jealous" because he appears to have returned to his comfy life while she struggles in several ways, particularly financial. I'm pointing out that he may not have financial worries, but dollars to donuts he has deeper-seeded problems that will be much harder to fix. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 What's stopping you from finding someone to build a life with? You sound like that's what you want. Try focusing on that, rather than his life. Move forward and start building the life you want. Link to post Share on other sites
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