Just friends or is there more to come?

[OneAmonte]

I have this male friend that I have been friends with for almost 2 years. He is a great listener & a great talker we can talk to each other about anything. Nothing seems to be off limits. He has shared things with me that no one knows and vise versa for me. Threw the time of our friendship about 8 months ago I was having some real difficulties with the relationship I was in. He never made any suggestions toward my situation but he was a great listener when I needed it. There were many times where I needed to just vent & he let me. He would sometimes offer possibilities as to what my partner was feeling but always said I would never know unless I asked him myself. In January the relationship came to an end. Since my break up we talk even more. We have even gotten together with other people and met up at a sports bar. I also invited him to my house for dinner & to play trivia & he accepted.

 

Here's my question, I have found myself very attracted to him both emotionally & physically. I am unsure if this is just because he was there during a time of great need and he is everything I would want in a relationship and a friendship. Or if it is a rebound thing. He calls me all the time & I call him so our contact is often. I would say we almost never go more than a day in a half with out speaking to each other. When we do speak to each other we stay on the phone for hours. There was one night that we were on the phone for 6 hours just talking about anything & everything. In the last couple of days I started to feel maybe I was becoming over baring & I felt the need to back off. I had asked him out to dinner & due to his work schedule he declined but I got the impression that if he wasn't working late he would have accepted. However I don't want him thinking I am stalking him (although he contact me as much as I contact him)or that I was becoming possessive or something. Not to mention I am not sure at all if he feels the same way for me that I do for him. I feel if he absolutely no interest in me he would decline my offers of doing things together but, I am not sure if he accepts because he feels we are great friends. How can you tell if you are just friends of if there is something more developing? Can anyone give me some suggestions on how to tell if he is interested in me as more than a friend? Thanks in advance!

[Marshbear]

A sure way to tell is to ask him. I know this might be uncomfortable to lay yourself out there but it is the best way to find out someone's feelings for you.

If you don't want to do that you can feel him out to see if the feelings are mutual. Men, when they are interested in someone physically and emotionally they will let them know by spending lots of time with them and also by letting them know that they are interested. If he makes comments as to the two of you going out or if he tells you that you are sexy or hot then he likes you. If he is shy he might have a harder time with this but eventually he will come around if he is really into you.

How does he look at you? Does he follow you with his eyes and stare into them with longing? Does he talk about future plans with you as far as a relationship? Do his feelings seem friendly or otherwise? Usually if you have to ask if someone is interested in you then the chances are great that they don't return the same emotions that you do. If you are real friends and you ask the friendship should endure. If not then maybe he wasn't a true friend after all.

[OneAmonte]

Thanks Marshbear! When we talk he does stare at me in the face for long periods of time. Almost like when I start to get uncomfortable because he is staring he changes his glance but is always looking at me. He smiles & laughs a lot also. When we talk about things like the future & such he never says anything about us but he is always telling me I should do this or that if it's really that important to me. We also discuss his plans for his future & I do the same to him.

 

Also I am guessing since you are a male responding to my post, that him spending time with me a lot is a good sign as well. He has never refused to be together unless there was a good reason. Example I asked him to dinner last weekend & he said that would have been great but he wasn't really interested in eating so late. Good thing we didn't because he got help up at work even later than either of us would have known about. We work for the same company and I find that when I am working he enjoys me being there & when we are both off we always end up talking at work forever. I also notice he tries to be careful if so no one sees us. We both feel strongly that what we do at work is work & what we do at home is home. Sometimes keeping that balance is hard but we manage.