Missed Oppertunity

[HarryG]

Back history first.

 

My entire life has been spent asking "what if" when it comes to girls. I can honestly not think of one time in my life where I have ever approached a girl I didn't know to start a conversation with the intent of seeing what comes of it. That's not to say that I haven't been in relationships. I've been in my fair share, but they always made it obvious to me that there was interest from them. To me, approaching a girl is a completely different beast.

 

Here's my missed opportunity. Last night I am out with a group of friends. Between 10-15 of us in total. Mixture of guys and girls. I see a girl that I think is cute and she appears to be alone. She too is with a group of friends. I had myself convinced that I would walk over and start a conversation with her and see where it leads me to, but as per usual I waited and waited and she left.

 

How are you guys getting past the nerves of the approach? What to say? Pending rejection? I think just knowing what to open with would help me immensely.

[StalwartMind]

As hockey player Wayne Gretzky said "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take", the same goes for anything else in life. I understand that to some people it can be very devastating to be rejected or fail, even at things that others consider trivial. If you can put your mind at ease and tell yourself it's okay no matter what happens when I approach this girl, then you will already have taken a huge step forward.

 

Life is full of ups and downs, you don't know what that girl is thinking, she may be boggling over the very same things as you "I hope that guy walks over here and talk to me, but I've no clue what to tell him". When two passive parts meet and they stay passive, then it will result in nothing. You need to brave yourself into taking that chance of approaching someone you would like to talk to.

 

This of course brings you to the next part about what exactly do you say. No one here can give you 100% successful recipe, as what works on one may not work on the other. I would say it's never a bad thing to be polite and just introduce yourself. The response you'll get in return should typically give you some kind of indicator if the person has any interest or seems absent minded/not at all curious. This may not be very helpful but any topic could potentially be a good topic to talk about, it depends on the person. Sometimes your humor, personality, etc. will be a complete miss but other times you'll see that people pay attention. Think of your own friends, you can probably talk about different things with each of them. It's not a bad idea to apply this mentality when you think of approaching a complete stranger. The world is full of interesting people, even ones you'd perhaps normally disregard yourself. I do however understand that a large majority of the population have no interest in speaking to someone they have no attraction to physically, but again each to their own and it's all about exploring and trying, you'll come across plenty of opportunities.