minime13 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I agree this isn't an area that usually sees improvement unless actively worked on, and even then sometimes there is none. Postpone the wedding and see if you can work this out.It is obviously very important to you. Sexual compatibility is important in a relationship, period. Postpone, and work on having better sex and intimacy. If it doesn't improve, then this marriage won't last. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 You shouldn't get married to build a life together or because you've built a life together. You should get married for love, because you're in love, and part of being in love is having a satisfying sexual connection and passion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Almost the exact same thing happened to me, only the other way round. Even at the start of our relationship I always felt like sex for my wife was a gift from her to me but never 'for' her. I know i am a guy and all, but i want to be 'wanted' if you know what i mean? So our marriage lasted 6 years and in the last 2 years we only had sex twice! By then i had given up even asking for sex, then she handed me the divorce. Anyway, after that i decided to try and learn more than what you can find in porn videos.... i discovered Tantric and Yoni massage, and i decided to treat my new girlfriend and she absolutely loved it! And you know what, i really enjoyed doing that for her and we did not even have to have intercourse because she is not ready for that yet and for me it is no issue at all, i am just so happy to know i am desired Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Patient lover, Please get this sorted out one way or another before you get married. If you need to postpone the wedding, then do just that. I married a man after a LDR when we were having sex once every two weeks. He suffered with premature ejeculation. He was a shift worker and after we got married sex still only happened once every two weeks or less, and he was decidedly unenthusiastic about it. He blamed his shifts. He often said he was too tired to have sex "properly" ie with foreplay, but he was OK for a "quickie". After 7 years of this I'd had enough and told him he needed to address his problem. His response was to cheat with a girl at work. Basically he was just lazy and selfish, and this spilled over into all aspects of the marriage. My point is that, as others have said, is that it won't improve just because you are married. Sorry x Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyBug Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 What jumps out at me is that he may have been molested as a child. One out of 6 men have been molested, believe it or not, so don't think it's so far-fetched! Link to post Share on other sites
geckojohn Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Break up now and move on. The sex is only going to get worse in marriage. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 This is a problem he needs to fix. The most you can do is be supportive of him. If he understands your concerns and puts forth sincere effort to learn to satisfy you, then stay in the relationship. If not, you have to consider leaving. In the meantime, postpone the wedding as others have recommended. Sex tends to get worse after the wedding. It's not fair to you or him to enter into a marriage with such a serious flaw. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Be patient!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Ummm...are you all not aware this was posted in JANUARY and her upcoming wedding was scheduled for May - 3 months ago? The OP hasn't been back in months. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Don't marry him. Consider Dead Bedrooms on Reddit as a cautionary tale for what awaits you. If it's terrible now, it'll only be worse after marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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