Guys don't approach me (Updated)

[Moy]

Ashley you're HOT and I'm a sucker for women with curves in all the right places. So I'd approach you without hesitation, be direct about what caught my eye, and chat with you.

 

In general though, when guys see an attractive woman it's usually one of these :

 

1) Guys assume she has a boyfriend. Worst mistake ever. That's why so many sexy women end up online.

 

2) Nice guys with no balls automatically assume she's out of their league and will be stuck up.

 

This^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[Adele0908]

I would also like to add that you may think you "hide" your depression, but it's possible that people can sense that you are uncomfortable with yourself. Self love and confidence often comes with age and experience.

[Ethan78]

I would also like to add that you may think you "hide" your depression, but it's possible that people can sense that you are uncomfortable with yourself. Self love and confidence often comes with age and experience.

 

But not necessarily with age on its own. Experience might do it.

[smackie9]

It's a vibe thing...there are plenty of guys that are willing to talk to you, but once they get a sense of whatever vibe you are giving them, they don't pursue any further.

[Ethan78]

It's a vibe thing...there are plenty of guys that are willing to talk to you, but once they get a sense of whatever vibe you are giving them, they don't pursue any further.

 

This can sometimes be true, but then I disagree with generalising. Some people will not want to talk if approached at random. Secondly, both people in an interaction are responsible for a vibe. The other person may be socially uncomfortable too.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Because most men know women do not want to be approached cold turkey in public, they just go to Meetup events where they have a reason to approach. ;-)

[Ethan78]

Because most men know women do not want to be approached cold turkey in public, they just go to Meetup events where they have a reason to approach. ;-)

 

You should have said "some women". Others don't mind being approached or are happy when a guy does.

[smackie9]

This can sometimes be true, but then I disagree with generalising. Some people will not want to talk if approached at random. Secondly, both people in an interaction are responsible for a vibe. The other person may be socially uncomfortable too.

 

 

Ethan78 Ashley admitted to be a sufferer of anxiety and depression, so my post does apply to her case.

 

It's possible she over compensates and tries too hard to be confident, friendly and helpful that it has led to turning people off, or people are taking her for granted like her male friend using her as his own personal taxi.

 

You need to read through some of her other threads (there's a lot of them), to get the gist of what the rest of us already know about her.

[Ethan78]

Ethan78 Ashley admitted to be a sufferer of anxiety and depression, so my post does apply to her case.

 

It's possible she over compensates and tries too hard to be confident, friendly and helpful that it has led to turning people off...

 

Without being long winded I am trying to avoid generalising. As you may know social anxiety continues because the person who is anxious reflects negatively about their part in the interaction after it has finished.

 

For sure sometimes your anxiety may affect the vibe, but then other times there is nothing you can do as some people will not be friendly regardless of the vibe. If the OP reads this it would be good for her not to fault herself after every interaction, but I take your point.

 

I have been in a similar boat. Knowing social feedback from unfriendliness or rudeness is not always obvious, especially if you go into the interaction with low self-esteem.