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You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.


love1336x

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That song lyric is the tale of my life right…

 

I was in a toxic relationship for the past year. We must have broken up at least five times, each time either I or him wanting the break up. But every single time I always would show up at his domicile, no tears, and tell him how much I enjoyed him. He would start to cry, and say, “I want you back… baby.”

 

It's been such a crazy cycle. I’ve broken this cycle this recently, this time, but we still decided to be friends with benefits. I experience if I pushed a little harder on him I could have him back. I dunno why? What is wrong with me lately? Why am I so addicted to wanting to be with him then not.

 

Each time we came back together we reach the same FREAKEN wall (problems) over and o'er once more. It’s just never ending. Our problem is I never feel I’m number one ever. Though each time he has guided me back, he received a pile of crap from his family and friends. The number one feeling being if his friends ask him to hang out I am pushed by. I made him the same discourse, and he detested it. Our goals and dreams aren’t the same either. He desires to move to some other country, while I desire to finish school and cause a menage. Other million problems.

 

I think I stick around because I love his gentle personality plus the sex is awesome! I love sex.

I wish we could bring it right already, and then we can be happy, but forcing it, I know it won’t fall out, and I need to let it go.

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I need to let it go.

 

I take it that you're very young. But yes, this is exactly what you need to do.

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