driving myself crazy Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 I am new to fwb..so I'm a little confused about this situation: Last year, I experienced my first bf/gf relationship with a guy. We clicked almost immediately after meeting each other..and before you knew it, we were a couple. We broke up b/c of a few silly arguments we had, and b/c he wasn't over a previous relationshp. After we broke up, we remained "friends." We didn't seemed to argue as much afterwards. Problem is we still kiss and fool around, probably more than when we were together. What hurt was when he became "friends" with two girls, hoping for a relationship...both not working out. However, he was honest and told me about both girls..and when he had broken things off with both girls, we continued to kiss and mess around whenever we see each other. I've asked him several times if he ever wanted to get back together again, and he said no...that the likelyhood of us getting back together was very very slim. However, we still do have conversations, and he's told me he still loves and cares about me. Unless I call or contact him, he doesn't contact me. Most of the time when we do meet, we do talk some..but we always end up having sex. I seriously do care about him...but maybe it's because he's my "first" in a lot of ways. Despite the disputes we've had, whether as a couple or as "friends," we still have somehow worked them out and remained very close as people. Is this guy using me, or is he confused and doesn't know what we wants? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 When a guy says he does not want a relationship with you, believe him. He knows what he wants, and it is not you; unless he can't find someone who is better than you. He is probably okay with the sex aspect and the limited conversation of the friendship, but you hope for more. By giving him sex, you simply allow him to be a single man, when you want to be in a relationship with him. The best thing you can do is to stop all inititation of contact, and especially stop having sex with him. This is FWB with emotions involved on your part, and you are setting yourself up for a lot more hurt, if you don't stop it now. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 I've asked him several times if he ever wanted to get back together again, and he said no...that the likelyhood of us getting back together was very very slim. I don't think he is confused. This sounds pretty straight forward to me. he is telling you the truth. Please LISTEN to him. He will never date you. You are hurting yourself by calling him because: 1.) You become more and more attached to him. 2.) You are preventing yourself from finding a person who loves you. Please stop doing this. he is NOT confused. He'll have sex with you because you let him, but he doesn't want anything else from you. (If he did, he would call you occassionally.) Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Wow, thanks. However, it's easier said than done..but I figure it's worth it if I want to find someone special in my life rather than someone who just uses me Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Every second you spend thinking, calling, f*cking this guy,... you could be spending out looking for or calling a person who really cares about you. You should try that book "He's just not that into you" Greg Behrendt . It's a really funny book, check it out. About how girls will look for all kinds of signs that their guys is confused or whatever, when the hard truth is that he's just not that into you. Link to post Share on other sites
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