How To Get Over Jealousy of Co Workers in a Long Distance Relationship?

[kidinfo1]

So my gf is currently at school about 2 hours away, we try and see each other every week but sometimes that doesnt happen.

 

We were on the phone yesterday and she was telling me how she gave this guy from work a ride home. He lives on campus and she had to go there anyway.

 

When they got to the school, he said he felt bad and brushed ALL the snow off her whole car. Not just like the windshield and back window. He then invited her to some party but she declined as she had a lot of hw to do.

 

I didn't get mad or anything on the phone and everything was normal until we got off then I started to think..........

 

Its not so much her I'm worried about, but him... It seems like hes laying the ground work to try and pursue her or something..

 

She has been really stressed lately about school and hasn't had much time to do anything fun since even when we are together shes been doing work (except V-day).

 

I'm just worried that one of these times she is going to take him up on that offer and something is going to happen...

[kendahke]

So my gf is currently at school about 2 hours away, we try and see each other every week but sometimes that doesnt happen.

 

We were on the phone yesterday and she was telling me how she gave this guy from work a ride home. He lives on campus and she had to go there anyway.

 

When they got to the school, he said he felt bad and brushed ALL the snow off her whole car. Not just like the windshield and back window. He then invited her to some party but she declined as she had a lot of hw to do.

 

I didn't get mad or anything on the phone and everything was normal until we got off then I started to think..........

 

Its not so much her I'm worried about, but him... It seems like hes laying the ground work to try and pursue her or something..

 

She has been really stressed lately about school and hasn't had much time to do anything fun since even when we are together shes been doing work (except V-day).

 

I'm just worried that one of these times she is going to take him up on that offer and something is going to happen...

 

And you know what? All the worrying in the world is not going to stop it from happening if that's what she's made her mind up to do. She could move back home and cheat with a guy who lives around the corner from you if she was of the mind to do so.

 

Saying you don't trust him is really saying you don't trust her judgement to know not to land on the business end of his johnson. So, really, you don't trust her out of your eyesight because you believe that she would cheat on you if given a chance. That's not saying much about her character as far as you're concerned.

 

I'm not going to stop anyone from clearing snow off of my car--and depending upon the state she's in, it's illegal to not clean snow off the top of your car before driving it.

 

You see her often enough to ascertain her interest level in you and the relationship. The presence of this guy doesn't really impact that unless you two are already having issues in your relationship. Are you? Or is this all about you and your insecurity that you can't keep an eye on her during the week?

[lolablue17]

Don't do or say anything. Because if you do, you risk the only reliable source of information you have - her honesty.

 

If you start showing her your anger, she will definitely tell you less and less in the future, and if she tells you something, she will make everything nicer than it is in reality.

 

So you have only one shot. Dont waste it on such a minor thing that probably means nothing.

[kidinfo1]

And you know what? All the worrying in the world is not going to stop it from happening if that's what she's made her mind up to do. She could move back home and cheat with a guy who lives around the corner from you if she was of the mind to do so.

 

Saying you don't trust him is really saying you don't trust her judgement to know not to land on the business end of his johnson. So, really, you don't trust her out of your eyesight because you believe that she would cheat on you if given a chance. That's not saying much about her character as far as you're concerned.

 

I'm not going to stop anyone from clearing snow off of my car--and depending upon the state she's in, it's illegal to not clean snow off the top of your car before driving it.

 

You see her often enough to ascertain her interest level in you and the relationship. The presence of this guy doesn't really impact that unless you two are already having issues in your relationship. Are you? Or is this all about you and your insecurity that you can't keep an eye on her during the week?

 

I'd say I'm a closet extremely insecure person so yeah it probably is that. but I just get these gut feelings that I obsess over. And no there's no problems. I'd say we have a pretty great relationship aside from the distance. we still talk everyday, and are affectionate when we see each other.

 

but just knowing the fact that there's people out there (guys and girs) that do things behind their loving s.o's back no matter how the relationship is really makes me wonder

[kidinfo1]

Don't do or say anything. Because if you do, you risk the only reliable source of information you have - her honesty.

 

If you start showing her your anger, she will definitely tell you less and less in the future, and if she tells you something, she will make everything nicer than it is in reality.

 

So you have only one shot. Dont waste it on such a minor thing that probably means nothing.

 

yeah that's good advice. I didn't get angry or accuse her of anything. mainly because I wasn't even thinking of it at the time until we got off the phone. it just made me wonder

[kendahke]

I'd say I'm a closet extremely insecure person so yeah it probably is that. but I just get these gut feelings that I obsess over. And no there's no problems. I'd say we have a pretty great relationship aside from the distance. we still talk everyday, and are affectionate when we see each other.

 

but just knowing the fact that there's people out there (guys and girs) that do things behind their loving s.o's back no matter how the relationship is really makes me wonder

 

That is never going to go away. You might as well never be in a relationship if you're going to let that rule your mind. You have to learn to do a better job of picking those you throw in with, emotionally.

 

Your insecurities are your burden to carry and resolve, not hers, not anyone else's. You will do both her and your relationship a huge favor by getting a grip on them.