kidinfo1 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Kind of an off color question here. Do you guys think talking dirty via text is beneficial or detrimental to a LDR? I'm not talking about one where you never have or will see each other. I'm talking about one where you do see each other a couple times a month. maybe more, maybe less. Is just making them horny going to give them motivation to cheat? Like talking over text can only go so far. You can't physically make them orgasm. Im not talking about just normal sexual attention like "I miss you. I wanna have sex" but more detailed, hot messages. Is it better to save the dirty talk for when you are actually together so you can do something about it, as opposed to just making them horny and that's that? I don't know where I stand on this yet and am just looking for other opinions 1 Link to post Share on other sites
compulsivedancer Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Usually you'd give yourself an orgasm to go with the dirty talk, as would your partner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 No reason not to! You can both do things solo while texting with each other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 It's up to the people involved. I wouldn't care for it but then again I'm not crazy about dirty talk to begin with; it doesn't make me feel sexy desired; it makes me feel like a piece of meat. That said, if you both enjoy the flirtation keeping it on a slow simmer & raising the heat right before you see each other sounds like a good way to keep the spark alive but make sure the language / word choices do it for both of you. Getting the other person all hot & bothered isn't going to make them run out of the house to pick up the 1st meaningless sexual partner available. Have a little faith in character of the person you are with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I'm pretty sure your gf gets horny on a regular basis, even without the dirty talk. It's called having a sex drive. If your gf is the type to cheat then she will do that with or without dirty text messages from you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Dirty Texting / Talking while LDR. beneficial or no? I always have a hard time understanding what anyone means by talking dirty. At first, I naively used to think that it meant using nasty words, offending one another, and really, that's not my thing. I know there are people into it, but I guess it's just a small percentage of all couples. Anyway, over time I realized that usually what people mean is using explicit language. Explicit language requires enough intimacy for it to really work. Otherwise it can be just awkward or the other person can feel off or even get turned off by it. As with everything involving a couple's interaction, it takes two. Some people can have instant intimacy, with full-on passion, while in other cases intimacy is built little by little. So, is it good or bad? You just need to know what your case is. Do you guys think talking dirty via text is beneficial or detrimental to a LDR? Going without your partner for an extended time is difficult, and you really find yourself longing for their presence. Keeping the passion up is beneficial to me and actually I need him to show me he loves me and he's still in love with me. It's both a physical and psychological need. Is just making them horny going to give them motivation to cheat? You raise a good point here. It greatly depends on your partner's personality. Some people really need that one person (they're in love with), and no one else will do. Others just give in to the physical need, and although the experience might be disappointing, they go with it. But well, are you a kid? How old are you? You can't physically make them orgasm. Says who? Is it better to save the dirty talk for when you are actually together so you can do something about it Well, actually, I would get into some action instead of talking about it........... I don't know where I stand on this yet Do you mean you don't know what to do with your boyfriend/girlfriend? How old is he/she? Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) Personally im one of those people who have enough experience that seeing things sexual in text form does nothing for me at all, I think a lot of people are like that, in my old LDR we could do things in sight/view of each other by webcam and that kept him very satisfied it takes some getting used too but it can be very exciting too. Get something like skype I would recommend video chats for all long distance relationships from spending time together to bedroom needs to making up dates I feel its required for any long distance success and it builds trust seeing each other regularly. Edited February 23, 2015 by Omei 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PinkCarnations Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I love sending dirty messages to my guy. He's on a ship right and he tells me he jerks off in the shower while picturing having sex with me. I think it's healthy and normal and yes, he has orgasmed from my messages alone. our reunion is going to be amazing!! Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 cybersex is what you are talking about. erotically talking. it is certainly not as good as having sex in person. BUT it is far better than nothing. if one or both of the partners has a strong libido, and it is an LDR, then there has to be some form of online cyber sex, or that high libido partner will be tempted to cheat. I strongly suggest for LDRs, that you video chat, like on Skype. the seeing each other's face and expressions forms a bond that text only can not do. but some people will not sex cam with you...its just the way they were brought up. so do not force the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 I love dirty talk. And sexting. Keeps my imagination flowing -- specially in a LDR. People who don't like these things will never get the OP's question, so their answer won't be that useful. It's not about judging if it's a good thing to do it or not in general, it's about commenting whether it's beneficial in a LDR. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Boy things have changed online today! Most of the women an guys into this enjoy the talk. Depends who your talking too. If your bothered by it then tell the person. If your ok with they let be. Just don't let get out of hand though. Its best to take the typing off the computer and give each other phone call or do Skype video chat instead. Or better yet go on real date. Link to post Share on other sites
Penguin_hugs Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 I'm in a LDR and we sext in between seeing each other- used to be like a once a week thing- but it's less frequent now as I'm too busy with my final year at Uni. Usually starts off as fairly innocent- like it's cold here- could use you to warm me up but then we end up graphically describing what we would be doing to each other if they were there! It's fun and we usually both masturbate at the same time. I find I get my most powerful O's when doing this! We can be texting and "playing" for about 2 hrs before actually giving in to cumming I have a high level of imagination- so I prefer reading what he wants to do rather than saying it over skype- particularly when the connection is dodgy! I think it's fairly healthy- keeps the spark going- rather than just talking about platonic things in the time we are apart. Plus they can say what they will do when you see them next- which is a turn on and really makes you look forward to the next visit! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 I wouldn't put anything in writing personally. Phone, yes, not text or email. Link to post Share on other sites
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