Gem1 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 So me and "my guy" were actually together for a little while about a decade ago. We stayed friends afterwards with the odd fun night. Teenage stuff nothing serious although I'm an absolute girl and was quite heart broken but onwards and upwards. We lost contact, lives changed. He had a very long serious relationship and a mortgage, I had had a child (not his lol). 7 years down the line we run into each other (both single) and kick things off. No strings, no attachments just good fun. This went on for about a year and we did get a lot closer and both admitted to putting effort into trying to keep that boundary lol Then he decides to go travelling. For a year. Thank god for that boundary but me still heartbroken again because I'm an absolute girl. He went, we stayed in touch very nearly every single day, even chatting about dates we were going on. Everything realistic. He comes back we pick up like he'd never left and we were pretty much inseparable. Date nights, little silly gifts, sleepovers, became known to my child, went to a party where his parents were there. We just never labelled it because I knew he'd be going again as much as he tried to be neutral about it. We Played this out right till the day he left again and we still speak as often as we can whilst I'm trying to be as realistic as I can knowing there'll be other women and a whole new life while I'm here and can't even bring myself to find anyone attractive that I'd want to date or even have a cheeky snog with. Today he gives me the heads up that he has been dating someone for a while and didn't want me spotting anything on FB etc so fair play but wow ?? I did not expect this amount of tears. I knew this would come along, I thought my game face was prepared lol. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. It's absolutely inevitable that if a man is away, he will date other women. It helps a little to Skype and keep him enamored of you physically, but since you're not committed, it only helps a little, I guess. You shouldn't wait for him because he could fall in love, get married, etc. But he could also drop her a month from now or she him. I really think that since you have so much history and you have feelings, that you need to have a talk with him about it. I think you need to tell him, "I didn't know how much that would sadden me. I wish we could be together." And then maybe he would either tell you "someday" or "I just don't feel we're right for the long term," but then at least you'd know. I'm glad he respects you enough to be honest, though. That's very good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gem1 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 We've always said that it's going to be strange if we don't end up together as we both admitted it would be strange to not have each other around, our friendship really is that good. I'm really happy for him that things are going his way and whether this is a fling for him or becomes serious, aslong as he is happy then that does genuinely make me happy. There's just that tiny part of me today that's running through every horrible emotion I can think of which is why I thought best to come here and vent and sob and ponder and kick my own arse to get over it.... at some point lol Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I do think you should let him know you're sad about this. If he needs to update you on if he still thinks of you as someone longterm, he ought to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
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