smile Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 OK so my ex hasnt called for three days. Now that may not seem like a big deal to anyone else but he has called me everyday that he has been on tour. Sometimes 2 or three times a day. So I figured the only reason he wasnt calling was because he met someone. Then I thought no thats what got me in trouble before. Then I thought I have no real promise from him that he wouldnt do anything. Then I thought but the last time he left he promised he would come back and nothing would be different and when he finally did come home everything was different. Actions speak louder than words. Anyway after all of that insanity I chose not to worry about it too much. Then he called me today. We talked about the floods and stuff and he told me that he ditched the band and hung out with this girl that he met. Ouch right? But then he said it was weird like this instant kinda friendship like they were related or something this weird connection. Then he said he has never had a friend who was a girl with out there being something to it ya know? and he said this time there was nothing, they just connected. Now he has no reason to tell me this. No reason to say it was nothing. But why did he? Was it to be like... I am out here having fun hanging with girls? or was it.. I dont want you to find out I was hanging with a girl and it didnt mean anything... no secrets we need to be open if this is gonna work. Like a test of my jealousy.... it used to be bad. If he ever said girl or talked with some chick I would go ballistic... she could have a bf or husband or even be a lesbian and I would freak. She lives in NJ. We live in CA. He says he is ready to come home and he misses us. Everyone .... he said "i miss you guys.". He says the two weeks seems longer now that he has talked to me. Ugh. I am not angry and I am trying not to think bad... but what do you guys think? He isnt my bf and he says its nothing.. I should trust that right? He didnt have to tell me it was nothing. He didnt have to say anything. I am having trouble dealing with not being jealous and not feeling secure. Like there is not certainty here.. I feel some but nothing said ya know? Deep down I feel nothing happened. I believe him. But there is that part of me that is just so scared. Being "in love" as record producer put it... is straining my brain.... help! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 I guess I should add that we are kind of in this weird in between stage. It sort of feels like we are together and he said he doesnt want anyone else. He takes me out to dinner and makes me dinner and invites me over to watch movies and just hang out. I am helping him decorate his room. It seems like a starting over kinda thing... thats why I am confused. Link to post Share on other sites
mixwell Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 hmm Im trying to think why a guy would do this ? Would I do this if it were me ? I think if anything were going on why would he even lead you to think that something is ? On the other hand maybe she is just a friend and thats why he told you. I know if it were my ex she would flip out if I did what your b/f is doing.. I wouldn't worry about it too much.. Ad least he is honest and told you he is hanging out with a girl. So try to just look forward to him coming back ! Hope this helps you !! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 I halfway am looking forward and I am halfway not looking forward to him comming back. I was hoping these 5 weeks would make us come to some realizations. I have made a few decisions and thought a lot. I am way more clear on what I want and what I deserve... HOWEVER there is no gauruntee he has done any of the same soul searching. He could come back and want our realtionship back, he could come back and not want me at all... heck he could come back and not want anything to change and stay at this we are just like bf and gf but there is no commitment. He comes over I go over we hang out I watch his puppy he takes me to dinner. I guess the deadline is nearing and I am getting scared. I know I wont ever find anyone like him ever. I will never be able to connect and feel so comfortable so fast. There will never be anyone who can take his place in my heart/ life. And even to this day he admits the same to me. He says he never loved anyone the way he was in love with me... he wil never love anyone that way again. I just dont understand. Thanks for responding Link to post Share on other sites
mixwell Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 just try to keep your mind off it until he comes back.. Or at least dont mention the girl thing until he comes back if you wanted to talk to him about it.. Just let him know that it really bothered you and be honest.. You have to communicate with him.. You should do it face to face though. For the time being just try to relax and enjoy yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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