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What is the worst **** test you've had to deal with from a woman?

luvsux69

By luvsux69,
in General Relationship Discussion

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MissBee

MissBee

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In all my years of dating I've never conducted any "tests." At most I've been passive aggressive before but to go through elaborate schemes hoping a man will jump through them and come put on top in terms of a preconceived idea on my part, nope. No time or interest and would hate for a man to attempt to test me either.

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compulsivedancer

compulsivedancer

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Alright. I read it twice. Then read a couple parts a third time. Bare with me for a minute...

 

So you're saying that when I would dress sexy to go out on a date with x that I was testing him because I secretly dressed that sexy for 'other men' to notice me so that x would do the man thing and pull me closer and be protective etc...?

 

wow.

I can't believe I did that! !?!

For that guy.... :sick:

but I can see how I did though. I just didn't realize it. :bunny:

CiH*

 

I'll make sure then that I should start doing this alot more and consciously :)

 

I couldn't open the link, so I'm not sure exactly what you read, but I've read about fitness tests in the past. Dressing sexy for your guy is not a sh]t test. I think it would be something like dressing sexy for the guy, then ignoring him and flirting all night with other guys. You are testing him to see whether he'll let you get away with it, or stand up to you.

 

One example I've heard is about a girl asking for help getting something from up high. If she actually needs help because she can't reach it, it's not a sh]t test. If she's just playing the woman card and asking the guy to help because she can, it's a fit test. Basically she's making him do work for her that she's capable of doing for herself and just seeing if he'll put up with that sh]t.

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xxoo

xxoo

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One example I've heard is about a girl asking for help getting something from up high. If she actually needs help because she can't reach it, it's not a sh]t test. If she's just playing the woman card and asking the guy to help because she can, it's a fit test. Basically she's making him do work for her that she's capable of doing for herself and just seeing if he'll put up with that sh]t.

 

That's a **** test? I thought that was just being pampered :love: Like when I ask him to take my car to get gas for me because it's so cold outside :(

 

I thank him later :bunny:

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ComingInHot

ComingInHot

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I guess I don't really get the causing a fight thing. I absolutely Loathe fighting with the man I love.

I do understand wanting him to want to protect and love me. I just don't see how fighting and cheating is going to help the relationship.

 

...possibly not the best thread for me to be commenting on I think :(

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todreaminblue

todreaminblue

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That's a **** test? I thought that was just being pampered :love: Like when I ask him to take my car to get gas for me because it's so cold outside :(

 

I thank him later :bunny:

 

does this get to a point where a woman is afraid to ask for help lest it be considered some sort of failure on her behalf.....i dont see how asking a guy to reach something that isnt easy to reach is a ****e test......how a guy would fail in my eyes...is to say get it yourself and dont test me you f ucking bitch..that would become a failed observation about the personality of the guy...serious flaw......deb

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xxoo

xxoo

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does this get to a point where a woman is afraid to ask for help lest it be considered some sort of failure on her behalf.....i dont see how asking a guy to reach something that isnt easy to reach is a ****e test......how a guy would fail in my eyes...is to say get it yourself and dont test me you f ucking bitch..that would become a failed observation about the personality of the guy...serious flaw......deb

 

I ask for him to make me coffee when I can get up and make it. To plug in my phone, please. Would you please get me some water, too? Oh, it's so cold outside and my bag is in my car :( Pretty please?

 

Luckily for me, he enjoys taking care of me. And I enjoy taking care of him, too. Trust and generosity are lovely in a relationship.

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Woggle

Woggle

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Asking for a favor is not a **** test. It's when you start fights over stupid stuff and the guy is sitting there wondering what the hell is going on or when you blatantly do something that is hurtful or disrespectful just for the sake of doing it.

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Selfish

Selfish

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Sometimes it is just pms I hear. (Dont have a problem with that myself)

 

Never heard of this. I'll blame the younger generation for this one :)

 

What do guys do to poop test?

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MidwestUSA

MidwestUSA

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I check them and look them up on this chart! :)

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=poop,chart&rlz=1C9BKJA_enUS628US628&espv=1&hl=en-US&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sboxchip=Images&sa=X&ei=Jt7rVMuPMIGmgwTr-YIo&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1024&bih=653#imgrc=KlThDNrPK_Q7YM%253A%3BOzJhLKdME_HvoM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F27.media.tumblr.com%252F17206299_r2_500.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.reddit.com%252Fr%252Ftodayilearned%252Fcomments%252F2n57vd%252Ftil_poop_is_seperated_into_different_classes_by%252F%3B400%3B520

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compulsivedancer

compulsivedancer

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That's a **** test? I thought that was just being pampered :love: Like when I ask him to take my car to get gas for me because it's so cold outside :(

 

I thank him later :bunny:

 

The idea is that if you let a woman get away with these things, she will always expect them and have no respect for you.

 

I'm not sure I always agree, but if you don't want to always get stuck taking the car out to get gas (when she could have stopped on the way home from work...who makes a special trip for gas, with!?), it is a boundary thing.

 

My STBXH did this pretty early on in a couple of areas. For example, he refused to pump my gas. We had a rule that whoever's car it was was the driver. Likewise, he made sure that whoever's car it was also pumped gas, by refusing to pump it for me, except in the rare case that I wasn't feeling well. That was probably smart on his part.

 

That said, while men think of this as a woman thing, I know I failed some fitness tests for sure. Somehow I became the household gofer. I don't know how many times I made a special trip to get food for H and several other people in the household, sometimes when I didn't want anything, usually without anyone coming with me. This started as something I occasionally did out of love, and soon became an expectation that I would run and get them food, because they were too busy....playing video games, playing music, talking.... :p

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compulsivedancer

compulsivedancer

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di dont see how asking a guy to reach something that isnt easy to reach is a ****e test......

 

It's not. Asking a guy to get something you can EASILY reach is a sh]t test.

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compulsivedancer

compulsivedancer

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Asking for a favor is not a **** test. It's when you start fights over stupid stuff and the guy is sitting there wondering what the hell is going on or when you blatantly do something that is hurtful or disrespectful just for the sake of doing it.

 

 

Maybe I'm conflating sh]t test and fitness test. Are they two different things? I thought they were the same.

 

oneshirt is the one who told me about fitness tests. It seems to be a thing that guys use to keep the "manly" upper hand in a relationship. But having read through them, there is some merit to the idea, as long as you don't let it rule you.

 

There's nothing wrong with doing a favor now and again, but setting yourself up to be a doormat is not a good idea either. The whole idea is about power dynamics and jockeying to set those boundaries.

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Woggle

Woggle

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Maybe I'm conflating sh]t test and fitness test. Are they two different things? I thought they were the same.

 

I never heard the term fitness test in reference to relationships. I never heard the term sh t test offline either. I just thought the woman I was dating was acting like an idiot and I am not the type to play people's stupid games.

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Elias33

Elias33

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Oh, that is what they call head-games now. They found a new euphemism. It's quite saddening to me that people have to do this to each other.

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contact1

contact1

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That's a **** test? I thought that was just being pampered :love: Like when I ask him to take my car to get gas for me because it's so cold outside :(

 

I thank him later :bunny:

 

LOL my wife, or SBTXW rather, does this. I almost always go and fill up the car with gas, and it has turned into the "expected" thing to do when the car is low in gas. I think it started when she needed gas at night, and I didn't want her to go out alone at night to do that, so I went myself. It kind of snowballed from there.

 

There was also a time where I would always be getting the food, man did I hate that. Practically felt like a delivery service. That got changed when I started just suggesting delivery food or saying we could just eat at home, which in turn would mean she would have to cook something, because she doesn't care for my cooking :laugh:.

 

Oh I guess I gave her a ***** test too, since she ended up doing most of the home cooking :lmao:

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SpiralOut

SpiralOut

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I've always called this mind f*cking. Hadn't heard the term s*** test before.

 

 

I'm sure that I've done it in the past. I don't have the desire or energy to do that now. It takes a lot of emotional energy to do that. It's just causing drama for no reason while making yourself look moronic.

 

 

Anyway, I've had a couple guys do this to me. One of them wanted to see if I would email him while he was away on vacation. He told me not to so I didn't, then he got mad when I didn't. I'm guessing he was testing out how much I liked him.... do I like him so much that I can't help but message him.

Edited by SpiralOut
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Gloria25

Gloria25

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I don't believe in testing people, I don't do it and despise people who do it.

 

I recently had a couple of unromantic "tests" from people asking me to share something with them when they didn't actually want/need it...one actually "did" admit they did it to see what I'd do and that pissed me off.

 

I consider myself a giving person and often do nice things in hopes no one will figure out it was me. So, I don't need the "nice" police to run random tests on me - as if they know a f-about me cuz they ask me to share a candy bar with them. How the heck do they know if I refused to share with them cuz I spit on it and have a cold I don't wanna pass on to them?

 

In dating you gotta spend quality and at least 1 1/2 to 2 years for someone to show their stripes. And if you wanna get married, include some time with a marriage counselor. All this "testing" crap is ridiculous.

 

I can only think of one time a guy tried to "test" me (that I know of) and make me jealous and it was the guy who dumped me for the town ho cuz I didn't say ILY in three months of dating him.

 

Now, with my recent crush, on my bad/stressful days I consider some things he does for me to see as him testing to see if he can get a rise out of me, gaslight, and just for poops and giggles. But other times I just think he "projects" in overtime. I mean, my fav podcaster advocates that people should take things they are tempted to do with the wrong person (me in this case) and do it with their SO so they'll stay out of trouble. So, sometimes while the things/projection he does is very annoying - I don't think it is testing or done with mal intent (well, unless I'm having a bad day/stressed). Besides, over the years, when I see things about people that I like, it sorta rubs off on me. Like a lady I knew when I was younger. She liked to wear heels all the time and lots of buttons on the lapels of her business suits and I do the same :)

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xxoo

xxoo

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The idea is that if you let a woman get away with these things, she will always expect them and have no respect for you.

 

I'm not sure I always agree, but if you don't want to always get stuck taking the car out to get gas (when she could have stopped on the way home from work...who makes a special trip for gas, with!?), it is a boundary thing.

 

P

 

People read too much into stuff. As long as the giving and care taking is mutual and generous, it's great. I'm usually running between work and kids and dinner, and have less time to stop for gas. I could, but don't wanna. So he does it for me. Certainly if he didn't feel just as spoiled, he wouldn't do it. But he does.

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Under The Radar

Under The Radar

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**** Testing is basically playing mind games with another person and at it's worst can be a form of gas lighting.

 

I'd recommend against passing any **** Test ...... because in passing a **** Test ...... you will ultimately fail what I call the Spine Test.

 

When presented with disrespectful (or downright abusive) behavior practicing self love is the way to go ...... run away ...... don't walk.

 

Extreme versions of the silent treatment, starting arguments out of thin air, and push/pull behavior are all examples of **** Tests.

 

It's always best to uncover behavior like this early on in a relationship so one can extricate themselves from the situation.

 

Personally, I advocate for a drama free lifestyle ...... call me old fashioned :laugh:

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DukeNukem47

DukeNukem47

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Funny how none of the women here ever even heard of this, much less did it. All in you guys' heads!

 

It's subconscious. All women do it.

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