Mixed Signals

[NoContact]

Now my situation is probably quite tame compared to some of these others I read on this board, nevertheless the situation is driving me crazy.

 

I'm 18, very shy, and have never been in any serious relationship with a girl. This past January, I started talking to this girl (16yo) at my workplace. When I talked to her, I felt something I didn't feel with other girls, we seemed pretty compatible and I could overcome my shyness a bit when talking to her. This girl is absolutely beautiful and is probably considered one of the more popular girls at her school (not a concern w/me). Everytime I came into work, I looked forward to seeing and talking to this girl, and believe it or not she looked forward to seeing me. We were always really happy to see each other and talked whenever possible. At some point I started feeling the chemistry when I made eye contact AT WORK! I decided to give her a single rose on Valentine's Day to signify friendship, maybe a little more, depending on her reaction. It was later that night my friend got some good news from her that she liked me as much as I liked her.

 

We eventually exchanged numbers and talked on the phone for at first hours, and messaged each other occasionally. The first time I asked her out to coffee she accepted, but my car broke down and she ended up having to babysit. The second time I asked her out she said yes, but the day we were planning to go out, her Mom turned off her cell phone as punishment and I couldn't get a hold of her. Third time, no different. This is when it gets complicated: Something began to change, the tone of her messages became short, she started talking to me differently on the phone and at work. At this point I was texting her or calling her at least once a day to see how she was doing. I asked her if I was crowding her and if I shouldn't contact her everyday and she says no, theres no problem with that. I ask her if anything else is wrong on several different occasions and she started to get defensive about it. I even asked her if she just wasn't interested anymore and she said everything was fine. A couple weeks back, I hear she was seen at school kissing her ex. I kind of overreacted and got pissed off, sent her one "final" message and didn't call or message her again for days.

 

Next time I see her at work she says she didn't get the message and that someone told her I didn't want to talk to her, so I tell her exactly what I said in the message. I was a little rude to her that night and she kind of left pissed. That night she sent several messages begging me not to believe the "lies" that ppl are telling me about school. Problem is, the "lies" were true and she must have been embarrassed about the whole thing because she denies it and says she is not with her ex at all (just some feelings left over).

 

Okay, so I see her a couple of days later and tell her I miss her (despite just being friends, i know, dramatic) and ask her if she wants to talk. I ask her out again and we finally do it, we go out for coffee and talk for hours. She seemed to be enjoying herself quite a bit, and I know I was. She told me should would love to go out again next time we were both off work. For a couple of days, things go back to the way they were at first, then deja vu all over again, things start to change. I start being excessively negative and dramatic (read: smart ass) with her (i know, unattractive) concerning her never wanting to spend time with me (she turns me down sometimes, but tells me Im being negative when I assume it's rejection) and being so hard to contact as of late. Again, I've asked if she just wasn't interested anymore, b/c she doesn't act like it, and she denies it. Despite all of this, she still sends signals she's interested in me, and wants to go out, DAMMIT!

 

So I've asked her out again, she gladly accepts and says "call me" with a smile on her face before she leaves work that night. Next day I text her about something totally unrelated to anything personal between us, but something about her working a shift for me at work. She doesn't respond to the text message at all, so great maybe she left her cell at home or her mom took it again. I call her cell phone after she gets home from school, it rings no one picks up, no surprise. Now I get this bad idea and call her home phone line and ask to speak to her, she sounds kind of annoyed, I ask her If she had her cell phone at school and if she had it with her then, she said she didn't get my text (total BS) and that her phone was in her room (ouch!), obviously didn't want to hear from me. I ask her if she still wants to do anything and she says "I don't know" in an annoyed tone, I then promptly tell her "I guess I'll talk to you later..." and hang up.

 

WTF is this? I've decided to drop this girl for a while, have no idea what happened. How can someone change like this so violently overnight and get pissed at me? She is completely emotionally and mentally stable with everyone else, but with me, it seems like she wants to torture me.

 

She is beautiful and has one of the best personalities of anyone I've met, what could have made her turn on me like this? Am I that bad?

[AndrewJ]

You appear to be acting a tad desperate bro.

 

Just chill for a while.

 

If she doesnt make contact in a week or two forget her and move on.

[NoContact]

Accidentally messaged her a week after not talking at all. I was trying to delete a message I wrote but never sent and accidentally hit send. She responded and told me I was rushing her too much, and that I need to slow down (remember shes 16).

 

After that little shred of hope she gave me, she wont respond to my one call or text message (torture). Should I assume it's over, or does she need more time?