NJ123 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 It seems all I hear about these days is people cheating while married or in relationships & some of the stories I've heard are severely ****ed up. One in particular was a woman having sex in her backyard with some guy while the boyfriend/husband was waiting for her to get back inside. He did find out about it eventually, I forget how, but he took her back supposedly. God only knows why. Also, another was of a groom having sex with one of the bridesmaids right before the wedding. They got divorced eventually after she found out about all the cheating. I mean what's going on these days for people to do such awful things to the person their supposed to care about? Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Amen. I heard this one story about a dude who's wife couldn't get pregnant so he banged this other chick to knock her up: Abraham - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia People today(or not). 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 Amen. I heard this one story about a dude who's wife couldn't get pregnant so he banged this other chick to knock her up: Abraham - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia People today(or not). So ridiculous. It's a huge risk being married especially these days. You need to know with 110% certainty that the man/woman you're with isn't a cheater. So many awful stories I've heard. There was a thread on another forum with awful cheating stories awhile back. Extremely depressing stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Cheating isn't something that's new. I don't believe it's happening more or less than it ever did before, it's always been around. Most people probably knew but chose to ignore it because once upon a time people would stay in a marriage mainly from social pressures, financial reasons, etc and then not discuss it but just accept it. It's just that it's easier/more common for people to get divorced or walk away from a relationship now. So, people are ending relationships after being cheated on instead of sticking it out because the church/their family/outside pressures told them to. Thanks to social media, it's easier for these things to get around instead of keeping everything hush, hush. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Ha, you should have been around in the late 60's to early 80's, before AIDS hit. Free love. It's not that people don't have morals. They do. The people you're focusing on simply have markedly different ones than you do, apparently. I dealt with the same thing a couple generations ago, with sex, drugs and alcohol. Wondered what planet I had landed on. Here's the key....they didn't care and you know what? At the end of life it won't matter one bit. Neither their morals nor mine nor yours will ensure us anything in life, or even life itself. We'll all die the same. You think you'll die 'better' because you never hurt anyone, never intoxicated yourself or followed every rule society laid out? Nope. You'll just die and all those people you're railing about won't give a good god damn about your life, or death. That's how it works. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 Ha, you should have been around in the late 60's to early 80's, before AIDS hit. Free love. It's not that people don't have morals. They do. The people you're focusing on simply have markedly different ones than you do, apparently. I dealt with the same thing a couple generations ago, with sex, drugs and alcohol. Wondered what planet I had landed on. Here's the key....they didn't care and you know what? At the end of life it won't matter one bit. Neither their morals nor mine nor yours will ensure us anything in life, or even life itself. We'll all die the same. You think you'll die 'better' because you never hurt anyone, never intoxicated yourself or followed every rule society laid out? Nope. You'll just die and all those people you're railing about won't give a good god damn about your life, or death. That's how it works. True, but what does that say about a person while they are alive of doing the things they do? And who wants to be in a relationship/marriage with a known cheater? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 Cheating isn't something that's new. I don't believe it's happening more or less than it ever did before, it's always been around. Most people probably knew but chose to ignore it because once upon a time people would stay in a marriage mainly from social pressures, financial reasons, etc and then not discuss it but just accept it. It's just that it's easier/more common for people to get divorced or walk away from a relationship now. So, people are ending relationships after being cheated on instead of sticking it out because the church/their family/outside pressures told them to. Thanks to social media, it's easier for these things to get around instead of keeping everything hush, hush. This is true. Social media has played a HUGE role in infedlity. It's so easy today to cheat due to cell phones/social media. And everyone thinks they'll never get caught, but the majority do than turn it around & blame it on the other person. Just look at the cheating forums on here lol. It's insane some of the stuff I read on here & they try to justify their behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 True, but what does that say about a person while they are alive of doing the things they do? And who wants to be in a relationship/marriage with a known cheater? If you identify a marked moral disparity, it says that person is someone you may want to choose to not associate with in life. In the extreme versions, where their differences in morals imperil your life, kill them. I keep things pretty simple. Associate with like-minded people, ignore the rest and be ready to terminate any threats. I expect others to do the same. If I'm not their cuppa, move on. Divorce teaches a lot of lessons and one of them was accepting things outside of my control, like the morals of other people, as they are, and then make a decision on their disposition. Another valuable life lesson is the reality that we never really know anyone, at least at the elemental level of reading their thoughts without editorials. Those cheaters you want to avoid, who exactly are they? How do you know? How can you verify what you think you know? Who's lying? Who's telling the truth? Are you? Am I? Ha! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 It's a good question. Some people don't seem able to defer gratification in the slightest and now that society will not burn them at the stake for being unfaithful they go ahead and do it. Some cheaters seem to think everyone cheats, so I guess their partners might as well cheat. I try and find better friends with honour and integrity. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 It's a good question. Some people don't seem able to defer gratification in the slightest and now that society will not burn them at the stake for being unfaithful they go ahead and do it. Some cheaters seem to think everyone cheats, so I guess their partners might as well cheat. I try and find better friends with honour and integrity. That's what's scary about it. It's almost like cheating is an acceptable behavior today since we hear about it all the time. Maybe as someone pointed out that it seems that way due to social media, but the perception is that more people are cheating today than ever before since we constantly hear about people doing it. And I don't think I could be friemds with someone who cheats. Also, a red flag for a girlfriend is the people she associates with. If the girls she's friends with are sluts, that doesn't portray a nice picture of her by associating with awful people. Just imagine if she wants a girls night out with those women. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I agree, the amount of people who appear to have no morals and no regard for others is frightening... whether it's in relationships, friendships, or justr stranger to stranger. But I will say that a lot of the morals I have, and a lot of the good I try to practice is inspired by what I see in others. So there's still enough good out there to be noticed! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 I agree, the amount of people who appear to have no morals and no regard for others is frightening... whether it's in relationships, friendships, or justr stranger to stranger. But I will say that a lot of the morals I have, and a lot of the good I try to practice is inspired by what I see in others. So there's still enough good out there to be noticed! True. I literally just read another cheating story on another thread yet again that's not even really a forum about cheating. It's just insane & so depressing. Some woman living in a million dollar home cheating on her husband with some guy that's her kids age. And he ended it after finding out she was married, but she wanted to continue & said her husband will never find out. It's really depressing reading this stuff all the time. It almost makes me not want to get married ever. Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Liberal philosophy. It's as simple as that. Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Once upon among many circles it was actually accepted that men would cheat. Then women were allowed to cheat too. And then we heard about it more because of the internet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 Once upon among many circles it was actually accepted that men would cheat. Then women were allowed to cheat too. And then we heard about it more because of the internet. Women are cheating just as much or even more than men these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 True. I literally just read another cheating story on another thread yet again that's not even really a forum about cheating. It's just insane & so depressing. Some woman living in a million dollar home cheating on her husband with some guy that's her kids age. And he ended it after finding out she was married, but she wanted to continue & said her husband will never find out. It's really depressing reading this stuff all the time. It almost makes me not want to get married ever. I 100% feel that. I make a point of limiting what I read on forums because of that. Too much! Link to post Share on other sites
JohnAdams Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I am not sure that morals are really much if any worse today than in the past. As pointed out, you had free love in the 60's. Having a mistress was very common in some countries. Several past presidents had affairs. Kings and Queens had affairs and even had their spouses murdered/executed to get rid of them. I think we just see more of the poor morals now due to all of the media. There are still many people out there that have high morals. My wife's cousin's daughter just got married. She is in her mid twenties and so is her husband. Both were virgins when they married. They had not even kissed which I though was a bit weird. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Cheating is simply people letting their desires overcome their morals, if they have morals. If cheating bothers you, then I believe the best way to deal with it is to 1: Not date anybody who has cheated in the past 2: Immediately end the relationship if your partner cheats on you. No second chances. Too bad there isn't any way to brand cheaters that way everybody would know right away and can decide if they want to take the risk. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 Cheating is simply people letting their desires overcome their morals, if they have morals. If cheating bothers you, then I believe the best way to deal with it is to 1: Not date anybody who has cheated in the past 2: Immediately end the relationship if your partner cheats on you. No second chances. Too bad there isn't any way to brand cheaters that way everybody would know right away and can decide if they want to take the risk. Yeah, that's the thing. Women HATE when you want to know about their sexual past. So how would you know if they cheated in the past? I wouldn't want to take the chance with a past cheater. I don't care how long ago it was, if they did it once, their capable of doing it again. And If I got cheated on I'd take a trip to good ol North Carolina with them. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Yeah, that's the thing. Women HATE when you want to know about their sexual past. So how would you know if they cheated in the past? I wouldn't want to take the chance with a past cheater. I don't care how long ago it was, if they did it once, their capable of doing it again. And If I got cheated on I'd take a trip to good ol North Carolina with them. It's something you can bring up in conversations either directly or indirectly. How why their last relationships ended, If they have ever cheated, what their view on cheating is, talk about famous couples or people you know etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 My jaw dropped when I first heard about Ashley Madison. I mean, I'm not surprised. But... there's a buffet of ready and willing cheaters out there. The internet makes it easy to find each other. I've always believed strongly in breaking it off before two-timing, but that's just me. I understand sexless and/or loveless marriages can be terrible, but sometimes the hardest decision to make is the most honorable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 People just don't care anybody but themselves anymore. If they get a brief thrill out of it who cares who they hurt and if you call them on it you are a judgemental bore. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 People just don't care anybody but themselves anymore. If they get a brief thrill out of it who cares who they hurt and if you call them on it you are a judgemental bore. Yeah, I think that has something to do with it. The thrill of doing it, and even the thrill of the risk of getting caught turns them on. It's just ****ing sick. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 It seems all I hear about these days is people cheating while married or in relationships & some of the stories I've heard are severely ****ed up. One in particular was a woman having sex in her backyard with some guy while the boyfriend/husband was waiting for her to get back inside. He did find out about it eventually, I forget how, but he took her back supposedly. God only knows why. Also, another was of a groom having sex with one of the bridesmaids right before the wedding. They got divorced eventually after she found out about all the cheating. I mean what's going on these days for people to do such awful things to the person their supposed to care about? ...and most of those stories got nothin' on mine and X. sometimes NJ, I wish I could skip out on my morals too. I know that sounds awful but d@mn, it's like it the only way to get what one wants when it comes to Marriages and relationships is to do whatever it takes (ie; sleeping your way to the top) to get what one wants. Then when faced with the opportunity, I just can't go through with. I 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 At the end of the day I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror and like what I say. I take no crap from people who want to bully me or take advantage of me but I can never become one of them. I just find like minded people to surround myself with. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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