Why do so many people not have any morals anymore?

[NJ123]

...and most of those stories got nothin' on mine and X.

 

sometimes NJ, I wish I could skip out on my morals too. I know that sounds awful but d@mn, it's like it the only way to get what one wants when it comes to Marriages and relationships is to do whatever it takes (ie; sleeping your way to the top) to get what one wants.

Then when faced with the opportunity, I just can't go through with.

 

 

I

 

You don't want to lower yourself to doing that. Not worth it.

[DukeNukem47]

It's pretty much impossible to determine who is cheating. I know that the vast majority of male and female friends that I've had cheated on their bfs/gfs when we were younger (I never did though).

 

I have no idea who is cheating on their spouses. People are way more closed off about these kinds of things as they get older. There's really no way to know.

 

For example, there's a female at my work that is mid-30s, VERY attractive, and married. Her husband lives in another state. I've known her for a while and know that she is a very good person. However, I also know that she openly comments on guys' looks and drinks a bit too much. She also speaks very openly about how much she hates cheaters.

 

Is she a cheater or not? Who knows. I'd like to think not based on what I know about her, but I don't really know for sure. I don't see how anyone can.

[NJ123]

It's pretty much impossible to determine who is cheating. I know that the vast majority of male and female friends that I've had cheated on their bfs/gfs when we were younger (I never did though).

 

I have no idea who is cheating on their spouses. People are way more closed off about these kinds of things as they get older. There's really no way to know.

 

For example, there's a female at my work that is mid-30s, VERY attractive, and married. Her husband lives in another state. I've known her for a while and know that she is a very good person. However, I also know that she openly comments on guys' looks and drinks a bit too much. She also speaks very openly about how much she hates cheaters.

 

Is she a cheater or not? Who knows. I'd like to think not based on what I know about her, but I don't really know for sure. I don't see how anyone can.

 

That's what's sad about it. They could seem like the nicest person in the world, but they could still be doing it. You just never know. I've even heard of a lot of religious women that go to Church every week being big time cheaters as well. It's mind boggling.

[ComingInHot]

You don't want to lower yourself to doing that. Not worth it.

 

It isn't. I know this. That's why even when the opportunity is supposedly handed to me, I just can't do it.

 

cheating is selling your soul and mine isn't for sale...

 

It doesn't stop me from sometimes wishing I had no conscience like those others...

[NJ123]

It isn't. I know this. That's why even when the opportunity is supposedly handed to me, I just can't do it.

 

cheating is selling your soul and mine isn't for sale...

 

It doesn't stop me from sometimes wishing I had no conscience like those others...

 

I can see what you mean. Since the a-holes are the ones that always get ahead it seems.

[Phoe]

That's what's sad about it. They could seem like the nicest person in the world, but they could still be doing it. You just never know. I've even heard of a lot of religious women that go to Church every week being big time cheaters as well. It's mind boggling.

 

I watched one of the nicest, sweetest women I knew, cheat on her ex-fiancee multiple times.

 

It really altered my perception of her.

 

What really killed it for me, was realizing she had no remorse.

 

I started to question whether anything she had ever said to me was genuine. If she could bullsh** her fiancee for 3 years, she could've bullsh**ted me too.

[NJ123]

I watched one of the nicest, sweetest women I knew, cheat on her ex-fiancee multiple times.

 

It really altered my perception of her.

 

What really killed it for me, was realizing she had no remorse.

 

I started to question whether anything she had ever said to me was genuine. If she could bullsh** her fiancee for 3 years, she could've bullsh**ted me too.

 

That sucks. I guess he found out about her cheating eventually by someone else? Some people could just be extremely cold.

[Phoe]

That sucks. I guess he found out about her cheating eventually by someone else? Some people could just be extremely cold.

 

No, she told him, and he always forgave her.

 

She eventually left him for another man and immediately moved away with him.

[NJ123]

No, she told him, and he always forgave her.

 

She eventually left him for another man and immediately moved away with him.

 

I don't get that. Why do people still want to stay with them for after being cheated on?

[Gloria25]

No, she told him, and he always forgave her.

 

She eventually left him for another man and immediately moved away with him.

 

In essence, he was a doormat...

 

Maybe if he went Ike Turner on her, they'd still be together?

[DukeNukem47]

Your best bet, it seems, (if you want to err on the side of caution) is this: marry a woman in a state that still allows at-fault divorce. Be VERY observant and don't live in denial when things are amiss. Become a good detective.

 

Then, make your move if you find out that something is going on.

 

It's a crappy way to live, but you'll be able to protect yourself at least.

 

ETA: Also, marry someone at your income level or higher. So if she cheats and you divorce, either you stand little to lose or she has more to lose than you do.

[DukeNukem47]

In essence, he was a doormat...

 

Maybe if he went Ike Turner on her, they'd still be together?

 

Blame the victim much?

[NJ123]

Your best bet, it seems, (if you want to err on the side of caution) is this: marry a woman in a state that still allows at-fault divorce. Be VERY observant and don't live in denial when things are amiss. Become a good detective.

 

Then, make your move if you find out that something is going on.

 

It's a crappy way to live, but you'll be able to protect yourself at least.

 

ETA: Also, marry someone at your income level or higher. So if she cheats and you divorce, either you stand little to lose or she has more to lose than you do.

 

Yeah, I suppose so. I wouldn't want to be looking over her shoulder all the time though. I'd need to trust her, or else what's the point. It seems the common thing is odd behavior out of nowhere is a red flag of something possibly going on. If they start to dress different or change their hair all of a sudden, or are out at different times when they normally wouldn't be.

[DukeNukem47]

Yeah, I suppose so. I wouldn't want to be looking over her shoulder all the time though. I'd need to trust her, or else what's the point. It seems the common thing is odd behavior out of nowhere is a red flag of something possibly going on. If they start to dress different or change their hair all of a sudden, or are out at different times when they normally wouldn't be.

 

In all honesty, I haven't met any married couples in real life where one is a confirmed cheater and I know both people.

 

So I can't really say if the behavior is "out of nowhere". That's what we read here, but how do we know if it's true? It's certainly possible that it's blatantly obvious, but the partner is too whipped/naive/trusting/in denial to know what's actually going on.

[NJ123]

In all honesty, I haven't met any married couples in real life where one is a confirmed cheater and I know both people.

 

So I can't really say if the behavior is "out of nowhere". That's what we read here, but how do we know if it's true? It's certainly possible that it's blatantly obvious, but the partner is too whipped/naive/trusting/in denial to know what's actually going on.

 

Yeah, I think that's the case a lot of the time where their in denial of what's going on until they have huge evidence that basically confirms it.

[Gloria25]

Blame the victim much?

 

Yes, cuz people are only gonna do to you what you allow them to.

 

Phoe said he 'forgave her every time'....so, there you go.

 

That's one reason why a lack of morality is out there. Cuz everyone is scared to call people out on their poop, cuz if you do, you're "judging" and "judging" is mean and is reserved to God.

 

Well, while God sits on His throne, ever wonder if He's judging/testing us to see if we police our fellow man?

 

If no one condemns a cheater, then of course cheaters are gonna think it's ok to do what they do.

[NJ123]

Yes, cuz people are only gonna do to you what you allow them to.

 

Phoe said he 'forgave her every time'....so, there you go.

 

That's one reason why a lack of morality is out there. Cuz everyone is scared to call people out on their poop, cuz if you do, you're "judging" and "judging" is mean and is reserved to God.

 

Well, while God sits on His throne, ever wonder if He's judging/testing us to see if we police our fellow man?

 

If no one condemns a cheater, then of course cheaters are gonna think it's ok to do what they do.

 

People that get cheated on need to grow some balls & dump the person instead of staying with them. That's just ridiculous. I could understand in extreme circumstances where there's kids involved where they stay for the kids, but they likely won't be happy. It would take years & years if ever to try to fix the damage that's been done.

[Imported]

Yes, cuz people are only gonna do to you what you allow them to.

 

Phoe said he 'forgave her every time'....so, there you go.

 

That's one reason why a lack of morality is out there. Cuz everyone is scared to call people out on their poop, cuz if you do, you're "judging" and "judging" is mean and is reserved to God.

 

Well, while God sits on His throne, ever wonder if He's judging/testing us to see if we police our fellow man?

 

If no one condemns a cheater, then of course cheaters are gonna think it's ok to do what they do.

 

No.

 

Just no.

 

Sure, I will call people out on their ****. A girlfriend/wife is not just people.

 

I should not have to be on guard with a loved one, especially a girl I would marry. If she needs me to smack her around so she doesn't go bouncing on some other guys cock, I'll just be one of the guys that used her and left her.

Edited February 25, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Justanaverageguy]

People that get cheated on need to grow some balls & dump the person instead of staying with them. That's just ridiculous. I could understand in extreme circumstances where there's kids involved where they stay for the kids' date=' but they likely won't be happy. It would take years & years if ever to try to fix the damage that's been done.[/quote']

 

Yes, cuz people are only gonna do to you what you allow them to.

 

Phoe said he 'forgave her every time'....so, there you go.

 

 

Fully agree - but people struggle to immediately detach from these types of situations and the "normal" or "default" instinct when you find out a partner has cheated is to latch on as tight as you can and not let go. Read the forums and you will see the same scenario repeated over and over again of the desperate partner who has been cheated on begging for their partner to say. I've been through it and I had to fight against that urge to kick my ex to the curb. It was really difficult to do because at times that latch on emotion can feel like its over powering.

 

The thing with life is - your own behaviour controls how other people treat you. Its immensely powerful when you learn how to really harness that knowledge. Your reaction to finding out - also dictates how the other person will behave.

 

In the majority of cheating cases people go into pathetic, crying beg mode to try and stop their partner from leaving. They allow their partner to put the blame on them as the cause. People offer instant forgiveness without making the cheating partner earn it. This makes you look weak, pathetic and hands all the power in the decision making process to the cheater. They now have no repercussions for their actions or penance to do to win you back and they get to decide what happens. Sometimes they will end the relationship and walk away but even if they don't they will likely repeat offend further down the road because they essentially got away with it and the partner basically gave up any and all self respect they had.

 

If you don't respect yourself don't expect anyone else to.

[Gloria25]

Fully agree - but people struggle to immediately detach from these types of situations and the "normal" or "default" instinct when you find out a partner has cheated is to latch on as tight as you can and not let go. Read the forums and you will see the same scenario repeated over and over again of the desperate partner who has been cheated on begging for their partner to say. I've been through it and I had to fight against that urge to kick my ex to the curb. It was really difficult to do because at times that latch on emotion can feel like its over powering.

 

The thing with life is - your own behaviour controls how other people treat you. Its immensely powerful when you learn how to really harness that knowledge. Your reaction to finding out - also dictates how the other person will behave.

 

In the majority of cheating cases people go into pathetic, crying beg mode to try and stop their partner from leaving. They allow their partner to put the blame on them as the cause. People offer instant forgiveness without making the cheating partner earn it. This makes you look weak, pathetic and hands all the power in the decision making process to the cheater. They now have no repercussions for their actions or penance to do to win you back and they get to decide what happens. Sometimes they will end the relationship and walk away but even if they don't they will likely repeat offend further down the road because they essentially got away with it and the partner basically gave up any and all self respect they had.

 

If you don't respect yourself don't expect anyone else to.

 

Yep, cuz even in situations with kids...one time my fav podcaster had a guy who's wife was cheating. And, for sake of the kids, he got into "pleading" mode. Well, my podcaster told him to "man up", get a lawyer and tell her she can't see/get the kids w/o a fight.

 

You gotta show strength...or they'll walk all over you.

[Revolver]

My sister said one of her friends was hooking up with her ex Behind her current boyfriends back and accidentally got pregnant by him. So then after using condoms the entire time they've been together she told her boyfriend out of the blue "let's stop using condoms and let's have a baby". Now she's several months pregnant and homeboy thinks the baby is his.

 

You can't trust anybody

[Toodaloo]

Its not just morals - its basic manners as well.

 

Care consideration etc... I could blather on.

 

Like CIH said I wish I could do it myself but even the thought leaves me cold.

 

Ho hum... Thats at least 2 so there must be more out there!

[StanMusial]

My sister said one of her friends was hooking up with her ex Behind her current boyfriends back and accidentally got pregnant by him. So then after using condoms the entire time they've been together she told her boyfriend out of the blue "let's stop using condoms and let's have a baby". Now she's several months pregnant and homeboy thinks the baby is his.

 

You can't trust anybody

 

I know a guy that this happened to as well. To be fair, the girl was pretty sorry so he should've known better than to get involved with her and her shenanigans.

 

Anyway, when the kid gets a little older and starts to resemble the real father, the jig is up. Bill is due for that transgression.

[NJ123]

Its not just morals - its basic manners as well.

 

Care consideration etc... I could blather on.

 

Like CIH said I wish I could do it myself but even the thought leaves me cold.

 

Ho hum... Thats at least 2 so there must be more out there!

 

So you get the urge to do it at times, but back off from doing it since you know it's wrong?

[NJ123]

My sister said one of her friends was hooking up with her ex Behind her current boyfriends back and accidentally got pregnant by him. So then after using condoms the entire time they've been together she told her boyfriend out of the blue "let's stop using condoms and let's have a baby". Now she's several months pregnant and homeboy thinks the baby is his.

 

You can't trust anybody

 

Why don't you or the sister aware the current boyfriend. It's the right thing to do since how would you be able to live with knowing the guy is going to raise a kid that's not his. And why is your sister friends with someone like that in the first place?