begman Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 How does one get over the thoughts of your ex having sex with someone else? She broke up with me in November and she starting seeing another guy almost immediately after we broke up and now they are boyfriend/girlfriend. See coping section about huge setback ex came into happy hour. I'm sure they are having sex by now and it is driving me crazy. I have had sex with a couple of girls hoping that would help me forget but it was nothing compared to sex with her. When we were dating she told me I was the best she ever had and she was the best that I ever had. We were in love and that always makes the sex good but it was good from the beginning of the relationship. Any suggestions on what to do? Sleeping with someone else just makes me miss her more. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Originally posted by begman Sleeping with someone else just makes me miss her more. what are you? a man or a mouse? "sleeping with someone else just makes me miss her more", boo hoo hoo, thats the most ridiculous thing i've heard this week! Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 i can't give you an answer on that one but when you figure it out let me know cause i think about my ex and what she is doing all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author begman Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 Yo alphamale, thanks for the support. Were you ever in that situation? What did you do? I don't think going around and sleeping with other people is the answer is all I'm saying. I'm just looking for some input from other people who have gone through the same thing. I'm not trying to be sappy I just miss her like most people do after a relationship. I am doing the NC thing which is helping somewhat. Link to post Share on other sites
BigB Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 just give it time, and try not to think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Originally posted by BigB just give it time, and try not to think about it. good advice Link to post Share on other sites
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 I think you need to accept the fact that your ex has gotten over you. She's obviously not thinking about you. Move one man, Your not helping yourself by thinking about her. Especially if there is no chance for reconciliation. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale what are you? a man or a mouse? "sleeping with someone else just makes me miss her more", boo hoo hoo, thats the most ridiculous thing i've heard this week! Alpha, be nice! His heart is broken. Link to post Share on other sites
emotionsmessmeup Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 u'll be fine the minute you have slept with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup u'll be fine the minute you have slept with someone else. right EMOTIONSMESSMEUP, that is what I was trying to say. Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 He said he has slept with a couple of people though! and he isnt alright! Simon Link to post Share on other sites
emotionsmessmeup Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 sleep with 1 person over and over..! Link to post Share on other sites
Author begman Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 Yea, I have slept with two girls since our breakup. It didn't help to forget my ex. I just did it to try and get over her. I appreciate everybodys help and thoughts. I think time is the only way to get over this and eventually I'll meet someone better than her that will make me forget the past. I just think about her with another guy every once in a while and it hurts. She wants to do the "friends thing" with me while she is seeing this guy but I ended the "friends thing" about a month and a half ago because I still have feelings for her. NC since then. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Originally posted by begman She wants to do the "friends thing" with me while she is seeing this guy but I ended the "friends thing" about a month and a half ago because I still have feelings for her. NC since then. good job BEGMAN, never do the "friends" thing with someone you were f***ing. NEVER EVER!!! Link to post Share on other sites
clone Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 wow some harsh words were siad. This guy is going threw tough times and u call him a wuss, how lame cause i think we are all on here for more or less the same reason. I'm having the same trouble that im tyring to move on but the one thing that hurts me to think about is her having sex with another guy. The biggest reason is because in the 6 years we dated we were each others first. I mean that is somethign thats sets deep. Bro i feal yea cause its the hardest thought to think about, jsut keep working at recovering and one day it will be fine. I jsut keep telling myself that. I dont think having sex with another girl helps cause you are jsut wishing it was her you were screwing and not this meaning less person. Link to post Share on other sites
The Dreamer Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 First off.. anyone who would think your feelings about your ex having sex with another is being a "wuss",well that person has the emotional depth of a thimble.What you are feeling is completely normal and it's a difficult thought to deal with,but you have to get yourself in the mind state that this was her loss...not yours. Keep telling yourself that every time any of those feelings come into mind.Having sex with other women isn't the answer either.Using others as a crutch isn't good.Concentrate on your self and your own personal goals. This is what I am trying to deal with myself and it's not easy by no means..but eventually it will get better. I know it will...believe it! Baby Steps man Link to post Share on other sites
emotionsmessmeup Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 well....i dont think there is anything wussy about it. u will still be repleed to the thought of him/her having sex with someone else but you will be able to move on. Lonliness can kill a person...... !!!! sex with another may help..but someone u want...! Link to post Share on other sites
Alpha Beta Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I suppose its only natural to dwell a little on this. After all, despite whatever reason there was for breaking up and no matter who instigated that, its hard to imagine anyone we once shared so much with being intimate with someone else. That intimacy is the most sacred and bonding thing out of all the shared things in the relationship. I spent 4 years with my ex, and though I have slept with 2 other women since breaking up, it has been a pretty mechanical kind of intimacy and nothing that felt remotely emotional at all. That leaves me feeling like A) I want what I had back (even though I broke it off) and B) Im not sure if I will ever be able to feel that close to someone again.... common sense keeps reminding me its just a time thing... it will get better Im sure... except for... the fact that I am still 'more than friends' with my ex. In fact when we hook up every so often now, we have a great time.... which makes it harder to move on. Im not really sure whether or not to stop all this as Im sure its very destructive, but there is a part of me that really needs what we have. I think part of that is that at the back of my mind I know that even if she is intimate with someone else (after all we are technically single), she still has intimacy with me. Thats helping me deal with those thoughts of 'who else' is she with. Sadly I think it probably be-littles what we had. But then, I dont claim to be over her.. and I know Im still quite messed up. If you feel that not being friends is the best route, and I think it is if she has somebody else regularly in her life. Then all I can tell you to look for is mutual fun from future lovers who arent meant to last... and the promise of that unbelievable feeling of connection when you finally share that intimacy with the next person who will become your significant other. I hope my thoughts help you in some way. All the best. Link to post Share on other sites
clone Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 ok man this is my best advice. Have NC with her cause the more you continue to see adn sleep with her the longer these fealings will dwell in you. I know that you know this in the back of your mind cause it is so true. After 4 months of basically of NC with my ex it is starting to get alittle better. The whole thing that each day seems alittle brighter is actually becoming true. I KNOW what you are going threw, i cant even say how much i know what it is like but we have to stay strong. K well i have more to say to you cause there is adice and great thoughts directed my way that helpd and if u would like to hear them just say so. good luck bro Link to post Share on other sites
Author begman Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 Wow Beta, I would never be able to still have sex with her if she was having sex with someone else. That is just to hard. Friends is hard enough as it is especially if you still have feelings. That is why it is easier to not talk to her. I ran into her last Friday and she said that I could call her or email her but I said it would be much easier not to. She has a boyfriend that she started to date almost immediately after she broke up with me. That hurt also. How can someone who used to tell you how much they loved you jump into another relationship so quickly? I don't think she knows what love is. I'm still having a hard time moving on and am not looking for any relationships for awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
hgk6 Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I feel your pain!!!!!! Going through the exact same thing. Had sex with this chick and was more sad afterwards than before. Ex moved on almost immedialty. Thoughts are killing me. Glad to know there are people who feel your exact pain. Long process. I'm still a total wreck. I guess good things come to those who wait, so a playboy model better be coming my way after this pain. Link to post Share on other sites
vavso Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I am guessing you are a relative youngster from your post . When you get older it becomes a little easier . I am sleeping with 2 woman right now and know whats good for the goose is good for the gander She probably thinks about you sleeping with someone else too. As you get more mature sex does not have the same implications as it does as when you are young I know my ex will never be able to compare our sexual relationship with her new one I could rock her world as we were very compatible sexually and her new B/F couldnt compare to me physically . If the day came we were to reconcile I wouldnt even think about him . Be strong ! I know its tough . good luck vavso Link to post Share on other sites
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