Charlie101 Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 You have to let go pal....you will just stop mate the pin will finally drop and you'll realise she's not the girl of your dreams far from it you've just been blinded, you deserve better pal, go complete nc and focus on you Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 yeah ill think i'll go back to posting in here everyday again until i feel strong enough. need to do full on NC from now on. today is day 1 of NC. missing her, but i know its not right. everytime she sees me or comes into my life, i end up hurt again. the only thing i can do now is let her go and try forget about her. i need to get to the point that if i see her out clubbing again, i can say a genuine hello and then carry on with my night and not think about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie101 Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 It's all about you know bro stay strong stick to it and yeah post here everyday if you have to I'll stick with you through everyday I promise you it'll get easier you'll get to were I am now, I'm genuinely happy at the minute. And you deserve it to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 thanks bro. i cant get her out of my head today. subconsciously im still waiting on texts from her, i wish i never let her come see me when she was struggling, i just fed her ego and then she left again. I felt so much stronger a few weeks ago. im determined now for NC, but now i have go through this day by day struggle again. ughh just need to forget... Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie101 Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Delete and block her number bro then you won't be waiting for a text cause you know she can't get through you need to do it you'll feel so much better Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 i just cant get myself to do it man. i cant block her incase she sends me a text.. i just cant Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie101 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 You can man, just do it, stop with the I cant bollocks you can your just not, you can delete and block any number on your phone you just won't because it's hers, stop torturing yourself and do it, you need to if she is that desperate to get hold of you she will find other means mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 i dont know why mate but just for now i wont block her. i know how to but i feel im not ready for that yet. i will know when i truly want to be over her when the day comes that i block her but for now i just cant Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 day 2 of NC, this time feels so much worse than last time. she hasnt texted me since i initiated NC. cant get the picture out of my head of how much fun she looked like she was having. cant help but feel like im the only one struggling. I dont know this girl anymore.. but man does this hurt, how can you miss someone who has brought you so much pain, just how do you do it.. its 12.55am and i dont even know why im awake. i wish i hated her, wish i never missed her like this. I just wanna be over you why is this so hard!! :'( Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie101 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 How you getting on bro....you really need to stop waiting for a text mate your just hurting yourself cause what if she does text you, you can't text her back your on nc and then you'll just analyse the message and it'll drive you insane, you'll be so much better for it, I understand you not feeling ready though....keep trooping in mate you'll get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 you were right man, i thought about it all night. Those words you dont want to hear but they keep playing in your head. I may have made a mistake doing it this way but i didnt want her reaching out thinking im ignoring her, i knew if i was going to do it, then it had to be done properly. So i texted her this morning saying im blocking her number. I told her i love her and miss her but i keep waiting for her texts, so its now time to move forward with my life and block her so theres nothing i can wait for. She texted me back saying i didnt need to block her, she will just not text me. And then i think she got offended when i told her i need to let go and theres plenty more fish in the sea for both of us. i told her im just tired of being unhappy and just need to move on in life now with no more false hope. Her reply was "you didnt need to tell me this, you couldve just blocked me". Haha doesnt that just say "i dont give a f***". i dont know why she has gotten so sour towards me, i even told her that I didnt even move on this time, i worked on myself this time instead (last time she dumped me, i got with a new girl every week like 5 weekends in a row, i was in a more tragic state and partied hard). But yeah then i told her okay goodbye old friend, i will always love you. her reply "algood" hahaha oh how her rudeness and disrespect helped me feel so much better about blocking her. doesnt even give a s*** about how i feel and has no clue as to the toll this break up has taken on me. but all ive done this whole time is try pretend to her how happy i am so that she would miss me and want me back. im finally thinking straight and i know that i still love her, i still miss her but my life can no longer be put on hold. i need to stop waiting and waiting for something that isnt coming back. time to work hard, train hard, drink less, maybe even stay in on the weekends, go gym saturday nights instead of clubbing so atleast i dont need to worry about banging into her again i even went the step further and blocked her on facebook. i never looked at her fb but i always had urges to do it. if i can completely erase her from my life, hopefully never bump into her anywhere, then i can finally stop getting re-hurt. i dont need to hear or see that shes met a new guy, so how can i get hurt if i dont know anything about her? the only hurt and pain i can now feel is missing her and thinking about the memories. other than that i really hope i meet a nice new girl sometime soon lol, but time can only tell whats going to happen and i know ill meet someone eventually. just the waiting game now to see when destiny brings me and whoever together i know i can be happy again 1 day, even as a single man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 The part that makes me laugh is that im now going to train as hard as i can, so imagine when my ex sees me in the future and sees how far ive come and how good and in shape i look, wont that be hilarious when i can act super confident around her and know what shes missing out on. Ive always been in pretty good shape and im pretty strong too but wait till im at my peak! Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie101 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Good for you bro, I. Generally proud of ya cause I know how hard that will of been for you and you've finally done it that's a massive step to moving on with your life so good effort, ignorance is bliss pal, you will be the better man and co e away fro. This so much better than her just like I have, I feel so happy realising how desperate my ex is for someone whilst I've sorted my life out got in great shape and am just generally happy whilst she's trolling all these dating sites, datinG blokes that are everything she use to slag off to me, it's great mate, and I can't wait for the day to hear you write the exact same thing on here pal Like the saying out of sight out of mind, you've made a massive step there and it can only go upwards from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 thats the encouragement i need buddy! just made me feel better about what ive done. so now i dont even really need to count my NC days, i think ill just let each day go by and hopefully her face will fade from my mind. I'll admit im struggling horribly right now and just want to see her, but this is the state i have kept myself in! all i think about is her, everything i do is for her. all this struggle is because of her and just in the snap of her fingers, she would text me and i would be all about her again. for some reason i always knew when she was leaving town, what she was up to and when her new competitions were starting up. i think she always somehow dropped hints of what she was doing and now im wondering why the heck i even knew it all? i need to hear absolutely nothing and see nothing if i want this recovery to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie101 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Exactly it bro, she dropped you subtle hints and you stumbled on them every time, but she can't now, I'm not gunna sugar coat it, it will be hard to start with and you will have real ups and downs, but there really is a light at the end of the tunnel and you'll see it a lot sooner now, and when one door closes another is almost certain to open, keep your head up and remember this is for you no one else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 what did you do to occupy your time mate and get through each day without breaking down? i feel like crying alot lately, its like my heart wants to cry and i feel it in my chest, but i just cant let the tears out physically, they just wont come out. how did u go day by day with the struggle? and how do you stop the hurt and pain at night time and in the mornings. what do you do to get your mind off your ex. all i want is her back even when i know its this unhealthy.. Link to post Share on other sites
AIJ Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 what did you do to occupy your time mate and get through each day without breaking down? i feel like crying alot lately, its like my heart wants to cry and i feel it in my chest, but i just cant let the tears out physically, they just wont come out. how did u go day by day with the struggle? and how do you stop the hurt and pain at night time and in the mornings. what do you do to get your mind off your ex. all i want is her back even when i know its this unhealthy.. Mornings are the worst for me. I'd always wake up, look at my phone, and have a message from her waiting. Now, I wake up, look at my phone.. nothing. At night I'm fine, I just tend to listen to happy music until I fall asleep! Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 mornings are the same for me AIJ Its going to be even harder now knowing im waking up and wont be able to see anything now that her numbers blocked. I wish i never met her so i never had to feel this pain. but then again, if i was asked at the beginning that i was going to spend nearly 3 years with her and then be dumped, i still wouldve said yes. thats the sad thing is that the best moments that ever happened in my life, were with her. I have nothing without her, life is so dull and boring. we were the closest of friends ever, i miss her laugh. every day was fun even if one of us were sick or anything at all, we could just watch movies in bed together all day long and just have a blast. i was never ever alone. now all that time we spent together, is just alone time which is about 75% of my days now, just being alone. i dont know how you recover after being with someone every second of every day. at this very moment, recovery and healing looks very far fetched. i feel depressed and lonely. i know its up to me for that to change, but maybe for now its okay to be depressed. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie101 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 I had my down days and struggle pal as you know...but I just tried to fill my time as much as possible and constantly occupy my mind, so I got abit of structure about my life, so when it come to mornings I'd have an alarm set and made myself abit of a routine so I knew each morning when I woke up I had to get up and do it, so I got on the health train so id set my alarm and be like right gotta get straight up make my porridge workout, then eat breakfast get ready for work, the trick for me was to always give myself just enough time to do everything that way I had to move and move fast so I didn't have a spare minute to just lie and ponder cause if I did I'd miss something and be late for work, just things like that pal. Link to post Share on other sites
AIJ Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 mornings are the same for me AIJ Its going to be even harder now knowing im waking up and wont be able to see anything now that her numbers blocked. I wish i never met her so i never had to feel this pain. but then again, if i was asked at the beginning that i was going to spend nearly 3 years with her and then be dumped, i still wouldve said yes. thats the sad thing is that the best moments that ever happened in my life, were with her. I have nothing without her, life is so dull and boring. we were the closest of friends ever, i miss her laugh. every day was fun even if one of us were sick or anything at all, we could just watch movies in bed together all day long and just have a blast. i was never ever alone. now all that time we spent together, is just alone time which is about 75% of my days now, just being alone. i dont know how you recover after being with someone every second of every day. at this very moment, recovery and healing looks very far fetched. i feel depressed and lonely. i know its up to me for that to change, but maybe for now its okay to be depressed. Wish I'd turned around and walked the other way the day I'd met my ex if I'm being perfectly honest. Yeah I've learnt a lot throughout this experience but I'd honestly rather still be my completely oblivious innocent self without experiencing this pain. Won't be pursuing another relationship for quite some time. Need to find happiness within myself first, and learn to trust others again. I actually ended things with my ex a month or so before she left me, I just had this horrible gut feeling that she was talking to someone else. She begged me to take her back, I did. Turns out I was right, guess she just needed to make sure this new guy was completely committed to her before she jumped ship. Wish her the worst, hope she gets every STI under the sun and I hope she's incredibly unsuccessful in life. Despise her with every bone in my body. I'm ranting again, but whatever. Better than bottling it all up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 yeah i think i need to start doing that. i always start my day with porridge too lol. its tough tho because my job has random start times every day due to weather. so sometimes i end up doing a 12 hour night shift which stops me from getting into a strict routine. but yeah i need to start planning my days and just being busy so im not always sitting at home thinking about her. this is so hard but i know its going to work this time because i can no longer wait on her messages. i have been so weak with NC lately this past week though, break it everytime. i dont know why i lost my strength, in the first 2 weeks i was struggling but i knew NC was my best bet. I think it was easier because i felt as though she was hurting when i wasnt contacting her. But now that she is completely wiped from my life is where the real picture begins. i hate the fact that she didnt come back because thats what i wanted even when i admitted i dont want her, i always did. i still do want her but all she is now is just mind games and pain to my heart. this is the right thing to do. just hoping this process isnt going to take weeks and weeks on end to finally heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 Wish I'd turned around and walked the other way the day I'd met my ex if I'm being perfectly honest. Yeah I've learnt a lot throughout this experience but I'd honestly rather still be my completely oblivious innocent self without experiencing this pain. Won't be pursuing another relationship for quite some time. Need to find happiness within myself first, and learn to trust others again. I actually ended things with my ex a month or so before she left me, I just had this horrible gut feeling that she was talking to someone else. She begged me to take her back, I did. Turns out I was right, guess she just needed to make sure this new guy was completely committed to her before she jumped ship. Wish her the worst, hope she gets every STI under the sun and I hope she's incredibly unsuccessful in life. Despise her with every bone in my body. I'm ranting again, but whatever. Better than bottling it all up. its just disgusting how some people act. thats when you want someone to treat her the exact same way she treated you just to show her how it feels. i always had this issue in mine and my ex's relationship. she always did stuff that hurt me and thats when my mindset would tell me "show her how it feels, she doesnt even realise it". so i would react the same way she does and it ended up in her leaving me.. funny isnt it?? can dish it out but as soon as u get it back, all hell breaks loose. my ex was selfish, self-centred and she got so use to me always putting her first, that when i finally stopped doing it, she couldnt be with me anymore. I have so much to offer a girlfriend, yes none of us are perfect, we all have problems but the amount of time, effort and money i put into this girl.. wow just wow. cant wait till the day comes where i can spoil another girl the same way and she will appreciate it. then i can rub it in my ex's face and show her how happy i am without her. Link to post Share on other sites
AIJ Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 its just disgusting how some people act. thats when you want someone to treat her the exact same way she treated you just to show her how it feels. i always had this issue in mine and my ex's relationship. she always did stuff that hurt me and thats when my mindset would tell me "show her how it feels, she doesnt even realise it". so i would react the same way she does and it ended up in her leaving me.. funny isnt it?? can dish it out but as soon as u get it back, all hell breaks loose. my ex was selfish, self-centred and she got so use to me always putting her first, that when i finally stopped doing it, she couldnt be with me anymore. I have so much to offer a girlfriend, yes none of us are perfect, we all have problems but the amount of time, effort and money i put into this girl.. wow just wow. cant wait till the day comes where i can spoil another girl the same way and she will appreciate it. then i can rub it in my ex's face and show her how happy i am without her. Best part is the amount of pure bull**** she spouted nearing the end and after the relationship ended. 'I'd never end it with you' 'You make life good, I love you so much' After she ended it - 'I won't be getting close with someone else for a while'. BULL ****ING ****. I can't wait for the day I meet a girl that appreciates everything this stupid little lying bitch didn't. The time, effort and money I put in to this girl just for her to turn and run as soon as another guy expresses an interest in her, just wow. And they say guys are the heartless *******s huh? Funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 Exactly AIJ, Girls are always going on about they cant trust guys blah blah blah. Some of the girls are just heartless as f***. I wish i had a new gf now just to help get over my ex. Even will all the pain ive had from her, i still miss her and love her. Now isnt that f***ed Link to post Share on other sites
banana1522 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Day 32 of complete NC. It's getting a little easier.. Her birthday was today - maintained NC, and feeling a power shift (even if it's only in my mind who cares). Hooking up with other girls totally helps! I can see some of you guys are really suffering. I've realised something important though, maybe sharing it will help, even if you need to experience it first hand to have the same effect. Anyway, here goes.. You don't actually miss them as much as you think. You just can't stand the rejection and the feeling of not being loved by someone who once loved you like no other. Mind blown? I didn't think so... Deep down you already know it is the pain of rejection, rather than the actual loss of your partner that hurts this much, you just can't accept it yet. Our bruised egos could only feel worse if our own MOTHER rejected us out of the blue (no Freudian psycho-babble don't worry - but incidentally I think a lot of men tend to treat their wives/girlfriends like their de facto mother, but that's for another thread) So yes, it's true, you feel rejected, and that is the real reason why you hurt as badly as you do! It took me a month to start seeing that after spending days and weeks wondering how I could live without her - the woman I had lived for 2 years, and dated for four. How could she not want anything to do with me any more? I repeated that last one to myself again... "Why doesn't she want me any more..?" and it made sense why I was hurting this much all of a sudden. It's not really that I miss her per se (of course you do but it's not main thing). It's more that you can't believe she doesn't want you anymore. Look at that feeling of rejection and accept it, then let it go... Learn from whatever mistakes you made that you shouldn't repeat in future relationships if you made any, but fear not, it's not about her. It's about you and your acceptance of being rejected! No one can complete you, you need to be complete by yourself in order to attract someone who is also complete and with whom you can enjoy each others' completeness. As a bonus, once you are complete on your own, and love yourself without the need for external validation you will never fear rejection again because you don't need anyone anymore, even if you want them. Be strong, live for you, not anyone else. Only then can you be in a real relationship and give your whole self. Peace. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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