elaine567 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 That shows how extremely high her standards are to want to compete with multiple other women for a guy. The vast majority of guys wouldn't be good enough for a woman that does that. I mean what does she herself bring to the table to be so ridiculous. Everyone wants the best for themselves, so why would a guy who has other women interested in him be out of bounds? We all like different things, if he likes brunettes and 20 blondes are after him then who is to say he won't choose her as she is a brunette. He may love clever women and has 20 bimbos chasing him and she has a high IQ and is very well educated. Everyone may have something to bring to the table. She may be a wonderful caring person and the others are egotistical wannabes. Not everyone has the same taste in women, so why wouldn't a woman who is attracted to a man make a play for him, even if he is hounded by others 2 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 One of the things that I absolutely can’t stand about dating and women is hearing about a situation where there is a group of women all trying to compete for one guy. Odds are that if a lot of girls are interested in a guy, he’s going to be sleeping with several girls. Do women not understand this, or just not care? I can’t figure out why a woman would willingly put herself in that situation. Does she think that he will give up all other women for her, or is she just content being part of the harem? The main reason I have an issue with this is that it ties up women who should otherwise be available for men to date. If there are 10 women and 10 men, and all 10 women are dreaming about being with one guy, it means that the other 9 men don’t have anybody to date. I wish women realized how ridiculous it is to compete with each other for a man and instead of doing it or trying to give advice to other women who are doing it, they should instead date the men who are actually interested in them. Or would such a thing be "settling" Women want status and will happily cuckold themselves to get it rather than be with a guy who may not be the most popular but would trest them like a princess. I think thats why so many guys struggle with dating and end up with nothing- because the top guys have got 2 or 3 women all to themselves and the women are either fine with it or think the guy will choose them eventually. Thats life, unfortunately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Side note though - it does surprise me how many girls aren't shy about approaching a married man! Is there no like girls code or something! But what if he's the only one she likes? She shouldn't let that put her off.... Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Everyone wants the best for themselves, so why would a guy who has other women interested in him be out of bounds? We all like different things, if he likes brunettes and 20 blondes are after him then who is to say he won't choose her as she is a brunette. He may love clever women and has 20 bimbos chasing him and she has a high IQ and is very well educated. Everyone may have something to bring to the table. She may be a wonderful caring person and the others are egotistical wannabes. Not everyone has the same taste in women, so why wouldn't a woman who is attracted to a man make a play for him, even if he is hounded by others Because seeing that he's so desirable makes a lot of women fall for a guy like that even more than a guy with not many options. If a guy is extremely desirable than he must have a whole lot going for him that most other men don't. And if the women competing for a guy like that loses out, she feels she won't want to settle for less after that. Why if she was competing for some guy like that, would she go after a guy with no options afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 So OP, what you're saying is that you are a cheater at heart. Having a lot of women competing for you doesn't even mean you're dating any one of them. In college, women are crazy and that guy is probably just trying to be nice. And then more women come up. Nice problem to have huh. If he is interested in one particular girl, all the other girls are probably making things more complicated. He might even be too shy to ask out the one girl he wants and in the mean time he looks like some player because the more aggressive girls are jumping on his lap, grabbing his arm, pulling him away to go for a walk or whatever, giving the appearance there is something going on when there isn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Side note though - it does surprise me how many girls aren't shy about approaching a married man! Is there no like girls code or something! I think it seems worse now because there are SO many married men on OLD. Young people who've grown up with OLD, it looks like the norm to some degree. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Because seeing that he's so desirable makes a lot of women fall for a guy like that even more than a guy with not many options. If a guy is extremely desirable than he must have a whole lot going for him that most other men don't. And if the women competing for a guy like that loses out, she feels she won't want to settle for less after that. Why if she was competing for some guy like that, would she go after a guy with no options afterwards. So women are incapable of learning by experience in your world? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 The main reason this bugs me is because it's so hard to find an available woman who wants to date. I can somewhat understand a woman not wanting to date me because she likes somebody else. Not fully understand it mind you, I don't think you understand it at all given the context of this thread. because even when I really liked one girl, there were still other girls that I would have happily gone on a date with. Because you were also interested in them. Your statement implies those girls "competing" for guys do so while ignoring other men they're ALSO interested in. If a woman is competing for the attentions of a man, it's likely no one else interests her. You've done the exact same thing before so how does this behavior legitimately confuse you? Your view of how dating should be only benefits you. There is no benefit to a woman to date someone she's no otherwise interested in. And to ask why every man can't have at least one women is...strange. You're certainly not willing to date any and every woman who comes your way so why on earth would you expect women to do such a thing? Idgi. Another aspect is jealousy. I have never been desired by a few woman at a time and hearing about a guy who has that just makes me angry. Well, that's honest. But there's no real reason to dwell on what you can't have. It does you no good. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 And yet another round of thinking up stuff women do so that it is their fault a man isn;t dating instead of the man being willing to look in the mirror, drop the attitude, and better himself. Yawn 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Because seeing that he's so desirable makes a lot of women fall for a guy like that even more than a guy with not many options. If a guy is extremely desirable than he must have a whole lot going for him that most other men don't. And if the women competing for a guy like that loses out, she feels she won't want to settle for less after that. Why if she was competing for some guy like that, would she go after a guy with no options afterwards. Oh yes, because once a woman loses out on a guy she really likes NO OTHER MAN WILL EVER COMPARE! What world do you live in where you come up with this absurd ideas? For many women, once it sinks in she's not getting the guy she moves the hell on and realizes he clearly wasn't right for her....you know, like any normal, functioning adult... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Because seeing that he's so desirable makes a lot of women fall for a guy like that even more than a guy with not many options. If a guy is extremely desirable than he must have a whole lot going for him that most other men don't. And if the women competing for a guy like that loses out, she feels she won't want to settle for less after that. Why if she was competing for some guy like that, would she go after a guy with no options afterwards. I don't see why a woman would go after a guy with no options, period, regardless of who she had a crush on in the past. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 The main reason this bugs me is because it's so hard to find an available woman who wants to date. ... Now if that girl I liked who liked somebody else, likes a guy who has a ton of girls after him and most likely she won't date him and may even settle for becoming a FWB, that just makes me shake my head. It's just stupid. Another aspect is jealousy. I have never been desired by a few woman at a time and hearing about a guy who has that just makes me angry. Then make posts telling these men to stop it. It's not women's responsibility any more than it's men's. Women and men are BOTH not doing what you want. Talk to the men you're upset with. Tell them to stop dating and pursuing the women you want. I'd love to see how men responded to that approach. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 How can you say this when it took you forever to give up on Busy Girl? You have to try putting yourself in other peoples' shoes sometimes. Yeah, if they are getting rejected by John, they should give up and move on to someone else, but that doesn't guarantee that it will be one of the other 9 guys in the room. They may not be attracted to any of them, just as you weren't attracted to the girl with the "face" you didn't like. I could very easily see that girl writing your thread and wondering why all the guys are going for Busy Girl when she is right there, entitled to some attention. So could I- I cant imagine she would get told "you're not entitled to a man" by the sisterhood, mind. She would get a far gentler response for her self esteem. Men just get told "no-one wants you, deal with it." Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 So women are incapable of learning by experience in your world? No, I didn't say all women. But women who do that sort of thing will likely not settle for anything less after something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 So in this young professional group. I sort of have a crush on this guy. I've gotten to know him pretty well, especially the past couple of weeks. However, one of my friends in the group says nearly every girl including her have a crush on him. I feel like the other girls are almost trying to hard for his attention. Do I just ask him out? I've been trying to get to know him as a friend first. I feel like he's already getting attention from a lot of the girls in the group. Don't exactly want to push anymore pressure. There's easily 20 girls he could choose from. How would you approach this if this happened to you? Guys would describe me as cute/pretty and athletic. Now that is a guy I could compete for. LOL!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 How can you say this when it took you forever to give up on Busy Girl? You have to try putting yourself in other peoples' shoes sometimes. Yeah, if they are getting rejected by John, they should give up and move on to someone else, but that doesn't guarantee that it will be one of the other 9 guys in the room. They may not be attracted to any of them, just as you weren't attracted to the girl with the "face" you didn't like. I could very easily see that girl writing your thread and wondering why all the guys are going for Busy Girl when she is right there, entitled to some attention. Busy Girl didn't have a lot of guys after her that I know of. If she did, I wouldn't have bothered with her as I hate competing for women. Also while I did really like her, there were several other girls that I would have gladly gone on dates with. I wrote about most of them. I think at one time I was interested in five different girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 So could I- I cant imagine she would get told "you're not entitled to a man" by the sisterhood, mind. She would get a far gentler response for her self esteem. She would if she were acting like it was her divine right to have a man. Otherwise, she would probably be told to improve herself, take note of what that other girl has she might not and perhaps even, *gasp*, lower her standards. Men just get told "no-one wants you, deal with it." When? Link me one example? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Busy Girl didn't have a lot of guys after her that I know of. If she did, I wouldn't have bothered with her as I hate competing for women. Also while I did really like her, there were several other girls that I would have gladly gone on dates with. I wrote about most of them. I think at one time I was interested in five different girls. OK you wrote about them, but did you actually ask any of them out? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Now that is a guy I could compete for. LOL!!!! But you know nothing about him apart from other women apparently find him attractive and thats good enough to make you weak at the knees? Take notes, gentlemen! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I do know from that thread... He is very very VERY attractive. He is also very sociable,open communication, genuinely acts like everyone friends. He is also super fit to. I guess you would say his personality is charming and very respectful. ...and 20 girls think he is hot. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Anybody competing for anybody already lost. If you aren't their first choice then you are being settled for. I never fight over women. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 OK you wrote about them, but did you actually ask any of them out? Only one other girl and she eventually did the fade on me. The other girls ended up having boyfriends and one actually got a boyfriend as I was getting to know her. My point was that even as I was crushing on BG, I was still talking to and getting to know other women and trying to determine if we were a match. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 My point was that even as I was crushing on BG, I was still talking to and getting to know other women and trying to determine if we were a match. What makes you think women are incapable of doing the same thing? 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 26, 2015 Author Share Posted February 26, 2015 I think very highly of most men, and it is my opinion that not all men like to sleep around. My opinion is based on knowing and observing the behavior of my male friends, some for many, many years, male relatives, and other men I've dated throughout my life. And I don't think very highly of most men. I have known many guys that sleep around and many women that have been cheated on. I am also a man, and am aware of the natural desire to sleep with different women. While I'm older now and want a serious relationship, if I was very desirable in my youth I most likely would have slept around a lot. Why is it naïve to think he might want to date her? This happens all the time. A man is popular with women and chooses one to date and have a relationship with. Was it naïve of Behati Prinsloo to compete with all of the other models to date Adam Levine? He chose her, didn't he? If there are 10 women all wishing that same guy will choose her, only one of them is going to get her wish granted. It's naive for each of them to believe that she'll be the special one. Realty is that 9 of the girls are going to be disappointed. If she doesn't want to date you, she wouldn't want to date you regardless of whether or not he is in the picture. There is no correlation here. If she wanted to date you, she would. She isn't choosing not to date you because she is crushing on some other guy. She is choosing him over you. Yes there is a correlation. If she has her heart set on one guy, every other guy might as well not exist. This is exactly the reason why people tell me, "She may have another guy that she likes." Of course she would. Everyone does this. It means you have to step up your game. I am trying but it certainly is not easy given the handicaps that I've been stuck with. Either way I think it's asinine to even compare me to the Prince Charming that she doesn't even have a chance with. Do these hypothetical guys have all the qualities these women are looking for? Sure, why not? They just don't have as many as The Bachelor. Isn't this exactly what you did with busy girl? She told you flat out she wasn't interested and you hung around and kept trying to pursue her. Shouldn't you have found another girl to pursue? Wasn't it ridiculous for you to keep pursing her? I wasn't competing for her, and I was trying to pursue other women as well. The most important with her is that out of all the other girls I was interested in, she was the only one who was single, and kept in touch the longest. Of course she eventually did the fade herself. Frankly, most people don't have the defeatist attitude that you do. If a girl thinks she has a shot, she will probably hang in there and try to find out. But again, once it becomes clear that the guy has either chosen another girl or expressed no interest in her, she will move on. What if the guy doesn't actually choose another girl and is gladly sleeping with a few of them? Or what if he does pick one and cheats on her? Will she still move on? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Also, don't assume that a woman who is interested in a "popular" man is competing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts