Women shouldn’t compete for a man.

[DukeNukem47]

I have absolutely NO idea why men who hate women to this enormous degree, who go onto sites and bash women, paint them all with one broad brush, talk **** about them and hate them, want to date them?? That's so contradictory. Do you realize that by spewing the revolting vitriol about women that you do, actually turns women off? If I were single and seeking, and read the posts of some posters on here, I'd run miles away and not come back.

 

Simple.

 

I vent here because I wish women were a certain way. I yearn for times in the past that I did not have the pleasure of experiencing. I do not like the way women act today.

 

However, I am forced to adapt to today's society so I do that. I date women, despite my inner views. I've learned to conceal them well (because, yes, women do get mad when I express these views).

 

I, personally, do not hate women. I hate how they have been conditioned to act in today's society.

 

Sure, there are some exceptions, but they are extremely rare.

[CrystalCastles]

Sure, there are some exceptions, but they are extremely rare.

 

Not true.

 

These "exceptions" you speak of are common. You just choose the wrong women, maybe you go for looks only and choose women who are shallow. Which in that case, is your fault.

 

It seems that there are lots of men who have no issues finding good women who are loving and loyal. I think bitter men like you are the exception. But it is not the fault of all women that a man had one bad experience and decided to become bitter. Maybe he should look at himself and the women he chooses.

[DukeNukem47]

Not true.

 

These "exceptions" you speak of are common. You just choose the wrong women, maybe you go for looks only and choose women who are shallow. Which in that case, is your fault.

 

It seems that there are lots of men who have no issues finding good women who are loving and loyal. I think bitter men like you are the exception. But it is not the fault of all women that a man had one bad experience and decided to become bitter. Maybe he should look at himself and the women he chooses.

 

Where are I currently live and, in my current situation, I literally have two options (outside of bars and clubs). One girl appeared interested in me, but our personalities conflicted and we since had a falling out. I asked the other girl out and she turned me down.

 

Those are literally the only options that I have around me that I'm able to date.

 

It's been like that for 2.5 years (though, these women only came here last summer...before that, I had even less options lol).

 

So it's really not a matter of who I'm choosing to date. It's more who is available to me.

 

Online dating is not an option for me due to my stats.

[somedude81]

Also, SD, you being interested in other girls while simultaneously interested in Busy Girl isn't the best analogy.

 

I wasn't the one trying to make that analogy. Several people have brought her trying to say that I've been doing the same exact thing I'm saying that women should not do.

 

As I have said before, it is not the same. She did not have several guys after her. If she did, I would not have tried to compete with them for her.

 

Frankly I'm amazed how many people think that it's a good idea for a woman to to be one of several women going after the same guy. Nobody would try to argue that a guy should be one of several men competing for one girl. No woman is that special.

 

You might have been interested in them somewhat but not nearly as much as her. She was your main and at times your ONLY focus.

 

So what if she was my main focus? There were still other women that I was interested in. I would gladly have gone on a date with anybody else I was barely interested in. Yet things did not work out with those other women. The only reason that it came to a point where she was my only focus was because I learned that every other girl I was interested in had a boyfriend, or they did a fade on me. Basically Busy Girl was the only single girl left who was still talking to me. Normally I'd be in a new semester in college and I would have met a brand new batch of girls to be interested in. But now since I have graduated, that avenue is closed to me.

 

The others were a casual distraction and you even rejected one woman.

 

I have never rejected a woman.

 

The "ugly" girl that half this forum seems to think I rejected actually had a boyfriend. It was simply another case where I mistook a girl being friendly for her being interested.

 

More importantly, even if they were to express mutual interest in you I'm willing to bet you'd have dropped them if BG so much as looked like she might be interested anyway.

 

I would only have dropped the other girls if I went on an actual date with BG. Probably not even until I kissed her. Regardless it's irrelevant now since she might as well be dead.

 

In this thread you've given a number of reasons why a woman should give up on her crush (namely that he has others interested in him as well) and move on, yet you yourself were told to give up on BG multiple times and consistently refused to do so.

 

 

You seem to hold women to completely different standards than yourself...

 

I didn't have other women trying to pursue me, she wasn't my sole focus, and I wasn't competing for her.

 

That's what was different.

[toolforgrowth]

I, personally, do not hate women. I hate how they have been conditioned to act in today's society.

 

Sure, there are some exceptions, but they are extremely rare.

 

It has nothing to do with how women are "conditioned". What you hate is that women aren't choosing you of their own free will.

 

And instead of looking at yourself and going, "what do I need to change to become a better option?", you're choosing to say "basically almost every woman is defective in some way."

 

It's much easier to complain online than do something about it.

 

They are not extremely rare. I've dated PLENTY of good, kind, decent women in my day. Yes, I've also dated crazy, horrible women too. They're like any other group of people; some good, some bad. What's between their legs plays NO role in determining that.

 

You are doomed to fail until this message clicks in your brain.

[DukeNukem47]

It has nothing to do with how women are "conditioned". What you hate is that women aren't choosing you of their own free will.

 

And instead of looking at yourself and going, "what do I need to change to become a better option?", you're choosing to say "basically almost every woman is defective in some way."

 

It's much easier to complain online than do something about it.

 

They are not extremely rare. I've dated PLENTY of good, kind, decent women in my day. Yes, I've also dated crazy, horrible women too. They're like any other group of people; some good, some bad. What's between their legs plays NO role in determining that.

 

You are doomed to fail until this message clicks in your brain.

 

Nonsense.

 

Most women today are overly masculine and/or materialistic and/or mentally unstable.

 

My point was that, in the past, I would have been accepted AS IS, instead of having to become something that I'm not (and don't want to be) just to get women.

 

I've been down that road before. Didn't take.

[toolforgrowth]

Most women today are overly masculine and/or materialistic and/or mentally unstable.

 

This is why you're painfully single.

[DukeNukem47]

This is why you're painfully single.

 

Well, as I said above (or in another thread), I'm single because I'm in the middle of nowhere with very few options.

 

But I also won't accept just anything. And I certainly won't accept the types of women that I mentioned above (which are the majority, whether you like it or not).

 

I do like women that are on the subservient side (but are still responsible), which is difficult to find today.

[toolforgrowth]

Well, as I said above (or in another thread), I'm single because I'm in the middle of nowhere with very few options.

 

But I also won't accept just anything. And I certainly won't accept the types of women that I mentioned above (which are the majority, whether you like it or not).

 

My experience has shown me they are most certainly not the majority. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

 

I've come to the conclusion that you're a lost cause. You will never change until you actually want to change, and you're simply not there yet.

 

And at this point, I doubt you ever will be.

 

I'm out.

[Rejected Rosebud]

There are certainly enough women to go around. Hell, I went to a college that was 60% women. Why shouldn't every guy get one woman?

You sound like you are talking about beer or pizza, nobody "should" "GET" another person you talk about women like we are something you can go shopping for at a store. Maybe this attitude is a reason why women don't seem to like you very much??

[NJ123]

Well, as I said above (or in another thread), I'm single because I'm in the middle of nowhere with very few options.

 

But I also won't accept just anything. And I certainly won't accept the types of women that I mentioned above (which are the majority, whether you like it or not).

 

I do like women that are on the subservient side (but are still responsible), which is difficult to find today.

 

Man, not every woman is some mentally unstable woman or materialistic. There's some genuinely good woman out there. True, their a bit hard to find since a lot of the good women are already in relationships, but their definitely out there.

[DukeNukem47]

Man, not every woman is some mentally unstable woman or materialistic. There's some genuinely good woman out there. True, their a bit hard to find since a lot of the good women are already in relationships, but their definitely out there.

 

I didn't say every woman. I said MOST. Based on your post, you seem to be in agreement.

[NJ123]

I didn't say every woman. I said MOST. Based on your post, you seem to be in agreement.

 

I agree that there's a lot of bad women out there. But there's a lot of good ones as well. It's just going to be hard to find one to be completely compatible with. Since there's nice women out there that you won't find attractive physically or for whatever other reason, & likewise for them about us.

[MissBee]

I've never been interested in sleeping around, I've always wanted a proper relationship.

 

I know good looking and average guys both some of who fancy themselves as "players" and others as one girl guys...

As I'm getting older I actually see the guys who are on the whole less successful with women are the ones who are obsess icing over the "player" deal!

Thinking on it most of my better looking friends are in committed solid relationships!

 

Side note though - it does surprise me how many girls aren't shy about approaching a married man! Is there no like girls code or something!

 

I noticed this too.

 

It seems sometimes from LS threads that men who don't have much luck have all kinds of wild and fantastical ideas about how some of dating works and sort of project what they would do or want to do on to other men and how they believe these men think and act and swear up and down this is the gospel truth.

 

Yet, so far in the thread men who are actually married or in LTRs, are saying actually it's not like that but it falls on deaf ears because the scenario set up to match the whole it's-so-unfair-and-women-are-dumb-for-liking-good-looking-players story makes for much better self-pity justifications than the nuances of reality, which is that being good looking isn't something you can help and that said good looks (or even assuming women only flock to good looking men when they also tend to flock to men who may look fine but are charismatic in other ways) doesn't translate to: I must have sex with most women who like me. I mean...for God's sake...this clearly seems to be just a fantasy on the part of the men thinking that this is what they would do if they had the chance versus the reality that many good looking men aren't automatically sex fiends looking to score with as many as they can but can be men who value quality over quantity and monogamy.

 

One thing one guy I dated said and I'll never forget, he was very good looking, and we saw each other for about 3 months (not consistently because I was away a lot) before he ever tried anything and I remember after sleeping with him asking why he took so long to make a move and his response was that "I'm not a virgin....I've had sex before...plenty of it, so I'm not some virgin guy who can't wait to have sex. I know what sex is. I can get sex from lots of women, but I like you and wanted to get to know you and feel you out before having sex." It was one of the most insightful things a man has ever said and made me realize the difference between confident, quality men who aren't hankering after vagina because it is there, who because they can get it are pretty selective rather than the projection (which again comes from men who seem to not have much luck) that if a woman so much as breathes near you you must sleep with her and every other woman that shows interest and a man can never possibly apply any higher reason to his choices.

[Hawaii51]

"We must view with profound respect the capacity of the human mind to resist the inroads of useful knowledge."

 

 

I assume it's society at large painting these pictures of the heads of want-to-be artists. I used to be a member on LS a while back till I was booted for being a little mean and outspoken (never), but in that time I noticed that people grow more cynical as their life progresses. We can't enlighten them on something they're not willing to accept with-in themselves. It's their life that they're manifesting and who are we to get in the way of it- even if we wanted to we couldn't.

 

P.S. Missbee: I like what that guy said. I relayed something of the sort (not as eloquently) in a last run-in with someone I felt was special and it blew her mind too. good ****.

Edited February 26, 2015 by Hawaii51

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Simple.

 

I vent here because I wish women were a certain way. I yearn for times in the past that I did not have the pleasure of experiencing. I do not like the way women act today.

Lol.

 

Nonsense.

 

Most women today are overly masculine and/or materialistic and/or mentally unstable.

 

I know we all lie to ourselves at times to give us comfort but rarely to this degree. This is a complete fabrication. But if you really do somehow believe this please, for the sake of both them and yourself, stay away from the entire female sex. We're all far too masculine, materialistic and crazy for you.

 

My point was that, in the past, I would have been accepted AS IS, instead of having to become something that I'm not (and don't want to be) just to get women.

 

Says who? And why? Because some odd women would've been desperate for a provider and agreed to marry you when pressed? Ah yes, settling out of necessity, the very epitome of acceptance.....

 

Men who whine about how they long for the bygone days of yore are amusing, though often delusional. The romanticize a time when most people had to get married and tell themselves back then they would've had a fighting chance! No. I can tell you one thing for certain, if women don't like you know, it's unlikely they would've liked you then. The things women find desirable in a mate haven't change quite so drastically.

 

Personally, from the tone of your posts, you seem very, very weak and have a limited number of attractive qualities. You and your attitude both seem extremely grating and unappealing. You may yet choose to blame what women have "become" as the source of your issues but almost everyone else here knows full well that isn't the case.

 

Nevertheless, this thread isn't about you anyway so I'll stop now.

[MissBee]

Nonsense.

 

Most women today are overly masculine and/or materialistic and/or mentally unstable.

 

My point was that, in the past, I would have been accepted AS IS, instead of having to become something that I'm not (and don't want to be) just to get women.

 

I've been down that road before. Didn't take.

 

Which past? What time period in history? In what society?

 

It seems when some men long for this glorious golden age of the past it is for an era of clubbing women over the head and dragging them back to their caves or in periods where women were more disenfranchised or betrothed with little say. It's quite disturbing because essentially they are mad that women nowadays can exercise choice, have their own money, and you simply being a man is not enough to render you anything awesome so women actually decide to choose based on desire and what is optimal versus force or economic need to survive. In fact, in particular historical periods in the West (and elsewhere) it wasn't like that either, contrary to some wishes, even the men who women were betrothed to by their families tended to be of higher social status, were moneyed or had some kind of inheritance or legacy going for them and had to court her and win over not just her but also her family (and being likable and charming gentleman helped this along), some had to pay bride price and dowries, and it wasn't just average Joe barely making it but feeling entitled to a woman who would get to be with her.

 

So I suggest stop wishing for some fictitious past where women were "conditioned" differently. The only difference now is that more women can choose a man on the basis of love and fit for her and can try to find her equal or someone she feels adds to her life and can hold out for it because women have more rights and freedoms now. But "the past" wasn't a place where women were grabbing for any man who was alive...sorry.....from time immemorial women have sought to couple with men they liked and felt would add to their lives or benefit their offspring. And if you transport yourself back to certain past eras you'd probably be sorry since as I mentioned if you have to go through a whole formal structure of betrothal and through her family and them agreeing to you based on your social status, pedigree, education, inheritance etc...you'd not find yourself in the top running then either, whereas now more women are free to look for other things or choose a man even if their family disapproves.

Edited February 26, 2015 by MissBee

[Gloria25]

Nonsense.

 

Most women today are overly masculine and/or materialistic and/or mentally unstable.

 

My point was that, in the past, I would have been accepted AS IS, instead of having to become something that I'm not (and don't want to be) just to get women.

 

I've been down that road before. Didn't take.

 

Well, I could say the same - I guess.

 

I'm tired of having to pick from guys who - thanks to the women's movement - ARE something they SHOULD NOT be....

 

Hope I'm making sense here.

 

Look, I can't speak for most women - but I have sorta been forced to take on sort of a masculine role from a young age cuz my dad didn't pull his weight. Then, I got sucked into the women's movement, and now I gotta deal with all the so-called "men" out there.

 

I think men caused this on themselves. If they'd treat women better - the women's movement would not have taken off. And, if men would only take back control, be responsible, and not let the women's movement dictate how they should be - while still treating women with decency and respect then maybe, just maybe we can achieve this "equality" that the women's movement claims it strives for (BTW, I don't believe in equality...I believe each gender has inherent strengths and weaknesses that come together to form a "team").

 

Now, even though I've taken on a masculine role, I still respect and enjoy being feminine, but noooooooo guys now a days not being AS IS can't handle and/or desire a feminine woman (or maybe it's the race and nationality of men I'm dating). I like putting on dresses, make-up, doing my nails. I love being sexy and being "domesticated" for a guy. But, now that's seen as being "submissive" and guys don't appreciate it.

 

Worst, they don't want a wife/woman. They want a roommate to help pay half of their bills. I mean, what kind of "man" expects me to shack-up with him and/or put our kids in daycare so I can become a workerbee and pay half of the bills. Years ago, I worked with a jerk, but he took pride in working in the military and taking second jobs to pay the bills so his woman could be home with the kids...Now "that's" a MAN. Handle your business.

 

And, they are so weak. I do more masculine things (landscaping, handiwork) that lots of so-called "men" I see. And, it's such a turn off. Yes, I'm a strong woman, but I still AM a woman. I need a man to club me over the head and drag me to the cave.

 

Then all these guys who are shy and scared to talk to women? WTH/WTF? Again, I want a man who has the cojones to not be "intimidated" - even if he has to "fake" the confidence. How can I get horny for a guy who is scared of me? Again, I'm a strong woman, but still have weaknesses, insecurities, etc - just like everyone else. Shoot, I'm often as scared of guys or more so than they are of me, but I still gather some cojones to approach them - even if it results in rejection.

 

And skinny jeans, pink shirts, earrings, manicures/pedicures, skin/hair care better than mine? Whaatttt? Am I dating a man or a girlfriend? Yea, a guy has to have grooming and a sense of style, but more time in front of the mirror and/or more attention to clothing? No thanks.

 

So, just like you are tired of pretending something you aren't - I'm tired of having to deal with all the guys out there who are something I don't want either.

 

BTW, I don't want much from a guy and the things I want are that IMO and regardless of what the women's movement/lib says - A MAN SHOULD BE/HAVE....which are: strength/fitness, job/career, savings/money, skills (i.e. handiguy stuff), manners, and confidence (cuz, even if you "don't" know something, if you enter it with confidence - even faked confidence - you'll learn and tackle it).....Am I asking for too much?

Edited February 26, 2015 by Gloria25

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Well, I could say the same - I guess.

 

I'm tired of having to pick from guys who - thanks to the women's movement - ARE something they SHOULD NOT be....

 

Hope I'm making sense here.

 

Look, I can't speak for most women - but I have sorta been forced to take on sort of a masculine role from a young age cuz my dad didn't pull his weight. Then, I got sucked into the women's movement, and now I gotta deal with all the so-called "men" out there.

 

I think men caused this on themselves. If they'd treat women better - the women's movement would not have taken off. And, if men would only take back control, be responsible, and not let the women's movement dictate how they should be - while still treating women with decency and respect then maybe, just maybe we can achieve this "equality" that the women's movement claims it strives for (BTW, I don't believe in equality...I believe each gender has inherent strengths and weaknesses that come together to form a "team").

 

<snip>

 

It never ceases to amaze me the things that get blamed on feminism, or "the women's movement", as you call it. Your father "not pulling his weight", you not being able to find a date or DukeNukem being generally dissatisfied with life is not the fault of feminism.

[insert_name]

Well, I could say the same - I guess.

 

I'm tired of having to pick from guys who - thanks to the women's movement - ARE something they SHOULD NOT be....

 

Hope I'm making sense here.

 

Look, I can't speak for most women - but I have sorta been forced to take on sort of a masculine role from a young age cuz my dad didn't pull his weight. Then, I got sucked into the women's movement, and now I gotta deal with all the so-called "men" out there.

 

I think men caused this on themselves. If they'd treat women better - the women's movement would not have taken off. And, if men would only take back control, be responsible, and not let the women's movement dictate how they should be - while still treating women with decency and respect then maybe, just maybe we can achieve this "equality" that the women's movement claims it strives for (BTW, I don't believe in equality...I believe each gender has inherent strengths and weaknesses that come together to form a "team").

 

Now, even though I've taken on a masculine role, I still respect and enjoy being feminine, but noooooooo guys now a days not being AS IS can't handle and/or desire a feminine woman (or maybe it's the race and nationality of men I'm dating). I like putting on dresses, make-up, doing my nails. I love being sexy and being "domesticated" for a guy. But, now that's seen as being "submissive" and guys don't appreciate it.

 

Worst, they don't want a wife/woman. They want a roommate to help pay half of their bills. I mean, what kind of "man" expects me to shack-up with him and/or put our kids in daycare so I can become a workerbee and pay half of the bills. Years ago, I worked with a jerk, but he took pride in working in the military and taking second jobs to pay the bills so his woman could be home with the kids...Now "that's" a MAN. Handle your business.

 

And, they are so weak. I do more masculine things (landscaping, handiwork) that lots of so-called "men" I see. And, it's such a turn off. Yes, I'm a strong woman, but I still AM a woman. I need a man to club me over the head and drag me to the cave.

 

Then all these guys who are shy and scared to talk to women? WTH/WTF? Again, I want a man who has the cojones to not be "intimidated" - even if he has to "fake" the confidence. How can I get horny for a guy who is scared of me? Again, I'm a strong woman, but still have weaknesses, insecurities, etc - just like everyone else. Shoot, I'm often as scared of guys or more so than they are of me, but I still gather some cojones to approach them - even if it results in rejection.

 

And skinny jeans, pink shirts, earrings, manicures/pedicures, skin/hair care better than mine? Whaatttt? Am I dating a man or a girlfriend? Yea, a guy has to have grooming and a sense of style, but more time in front of the mirror and/or more attention to clothing? No thanks.

 

So, just like you are tired of pretending something you aren't - I'm tired of having to deal with all the guys out there who are something I don't want either.

 

BTW, I don't want much from a guy and the things I want are that IMO and regardless of what the women's movement/lib says - A MAN SHOULD BE/HAVE....which are: strength/fitness, job/career, savings/money, skills (i.e. handiguy stuff), manners, and confidence (cuz, even if you "don't" know something, if you enter it with confidence - even faked confidence - you'll learn and tackle it).....Am I asking for too much?

 

So to summarise, you helped to break down traditional gender roles and let the genie out of the bottle- now you blame men for it and expect them to put the genie back IN the bottle? Geez, when will women take accountability for anything they have done?

 

(For the record thats not me saying that i agree with gender roles, just I cant believe that someone who feels women should be at home taking care of the kids supported a movement whose thrust was to achieve the opposite and have women as breadwinners).

[Woggle]

The women's movement was a positive thing. It's what passes for feminism these days that thinks it can't bring women up without bringing men down. Ironically they have turned men into something many women in no way find attractive. I have seen a few threads the past few weeks where women ask why men won't approach a woman and talk to her anymore. Gee I wonder why.

[stillmind]

I can't decide if this thread is more insulting to men or to women. Good grief, do you really think every attractive man in the world will cheat if the opportunity presents itself?

 

I don't mean to "brag" or whatever but my husband is a very attractive man, over 6 feet, muscular, shocking blue eyes etc. At any given time he has at least a couple of women trying to flirt with him. He has women cold-approach him in line at the sandwich shop. We once had an overly persistent co-worker who wouldn't take no for an answer stalking us at our apartment complex.

 

For all that he is not a player, he is a homebody and a bit of a nerd who prefers quiet evenings at home and going on family backcountry trips.

 

I don't understand the need to tear attractive men down because you're sour grapes that you yourself don't have a bunch of female admirers. Attractive women have multiple men competing for them too! Attractive people are going to have more admirers, that's just the way the world works. Figure out a way to make yourself stand out. Hint: It's not going to be by sulking and bitterly complaining. The idea that a woman should date you because she can't find someone better is just creepy and entitled. I would rather date no one than date someone I didn't like. My avg time between boyfriends (before I got married) was THREE YEARS because I simply am not going to be in a relationship with someone who isn't right for me. Most women feel this way.

[elaine567]

I would rather date no one than date someone I didn't like.

 

Exactly.

To all "entitled" men.

Listen to the words and repeat ad infinitum until it sinks in.

Women would rather date no one than date someone they didn't like.

Women would rather date no one than date someone they didn't like.

Women would rather date no one than date someone they didn't like.

[Els]

Exactly.

To all "entitled" men.

Listen to the words and repeat ad infinitum until it sinks in.

Women would rather date no one than date someone they didn't like.

Women would rather date no one than date someone they didn't like.

Women would rather date no one than date someone they didn't like.

 

Actually, most healthy men I know would rather date no one than date someone they didn't like, either. And there are unhealthy women who do date people they don't like just for the sake of having a boyfriend.

 

I don't see the need for all these gender distinctions...

[William]

OK, with the usual and sundry pot shots at the thread starter from the usual and sundry LoveShack regulars and/or their sockpuppets out of the way, lets get back to the topic about women competing, or not, for the attentions of one man. Debate the premise and refrain from editorializing about its author or any other member or group of members on this forum as that is a violation of our guidelines.