What does it mean when...

[zachsack]

A girl calls you and asks you for advice to help her friend with guy problems. (I'm a guy). She shows clues of interest sometimes, and she ignores me sometimes.

I am attracted to her.

 

P.S. Her friend actually got on the phone and asked me herself. They were together at the moment.

 

Is she interested? If she is, how should I approach her, or should I at all?

Edited February 26, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Updated after merge~T

[fitnessfan365]

Is this a girl you're attracted to and want to get to know better?

 

I love to be playful and tease women. So if I was in your situation and a girl that I was interested in called me under that lame pretense I'd say "You know, if you want me there's no need to make up such a lame excuse just to talk to me. When are you free to get together?"

[barcode88]

Is this a girl you're attracted to and want to get to know better?

 

I love to be playful and tease women. So if I was in your situation and a girl that I was interested in called me under that lame pretense I'd say "You know, if you want me there's no need to make up such a lame excuse just to talk to me. When are you free to get together?"

 

10/10 would advise this

[zachsack]

Is this a girl you're attracted to and want to get to know better?

 

I love to be playful and tease women. So if I was in your situation and a girl that I was interested in called me under that lame pretense I'd say "You know, if you want me there's no need to make up such a lame excuse just to talk to me. When are you free to get together?"

 

But her friend actually got on the phone and asked me. Yes, I'm attracted to her.

[fitnessfan365]

But her friend actually got on the phone and asked me. Yes, I'm attracted to her.

 

Haha.. If that happened, I would have probably said "I've never had two girls chasing after me at the same time. Are you two a packaged deal?"

[zachsack]

Haha.. If that happened, I would have probably said "I've never had two girls chasing after me at the same time. Are you two a packaged deal?"

 

That doesn't sound like it'll work. I don't know if she likes me or not because she slips in and out.

[Versacehottie]

I think it's a good sign. You should flirt more directly with her. And since she feels free to contact you, you can do the same. Make your friendship or rather connection stronger, more bonded. But it definitely points to interest. Especially if you are not close friends or friends at all with the guy her friend is interested in. Good luck

[zachsack]

I think it's a good sign. You should flirt more directly with her. And since she feels free to contact you, you can do the same. Make your friendship or rather connection stronger, more bonded. But it definitely points to interest. Especially if you are not close friends or friends at all with the guy her friend is interested in. Good luck

 

So how do you think I think I should approach this? This happened on Saturday (4 days ago). Is it too late?

 

I also think she has a boyfriend, but I don't know the status about that right now.

[zachsack]

Also, its been 4 days since this happened. I took it as a sign of trust at first, now I'm starting to think that maybe its more.

[Versacehottie]

So how do you think I think I should approach this? This happened on Saturday (4 days ago). Is it too late?

 

I also think she has a boyfriend, but I don't know the status about that right now.

 

No not too late at all. Surely there was something that came up in the conversation that would be a reason to contact her. Whatever specifics there were in that conversation be mindful of and build on those. Especially the ones that have little to do with the other guy, other girl. Build on the things you spoke about that have to do with each other. Be teasing and playful. Who cares if she has a boyfriend or not? She contacted you. She is the one with a responsibility to a boyfriend, if she indeed has one, not you. She is fair game. Be confident in that you are building a friendship with flirting. When you ask her out is dependent on how the flirting goes, I think, in this situation.

 

Also don't let her ignore you anymore. Call her out on it if she does it again--not too serious but letting her know you noticed and are not up for games and she can't just pop in and out of your life in a rude way. Also if she does this, drop her priority. She gets good attention from you if she treats you well and no so much attention if she treats you poorly. But if you build on the friendship and flirting (right from beginning so no friendzone!) then she shouldn't be ignoring you, ie it won't be a problem anymore.

[zachsack]

A girl calls you and asks you for advice to help her friend with guy problems. (I'm a guy). She shows clues of interest sometimes, and she ignores me sometimes.

I am attracted to her.

 

P.S. Her friend actually got on the phone and asked me herself. They were together at the moment.

 

Is she interested? If she is, how should I approach her, or should I at all?

[fitnessfan365]

Why the hell do you keep making the same thread over and over? One thread was enough. This is the third one you've made.

[zachsack]

No not too late at all. Surely there was something that came up in the conversation that would be a reason to contact her. Whatever specifics there were in that conversation be mindful of and build on those. Especially the ones that have little to do with the other guy, other girl. Build on the things you spoke about that have to do with each other. Be teasing and playful. Who cares if she has a boyfriend or not? She contacted you. She is the one with a responsibility to a boyfriend, if she indeed has one, not you. She is fair game. Be confident in that you are building a friendship with flirting. When you ask her out is dependent on how the flirting goes, I think, in this situation.

 

Also don't let her ignore you anymore. Call her out on it if she does it again--not too serious but letting her know you noticed and are not up for games and she can't just pop in and out of your life in a rude way. Also if she does this, drop her priority. She gets good attention from you if she treats you well and no so much attention if she treats you poorly. But if you build on the friendship and flirting (right from beginning so no friendzone!) then she shouldn't be ignoring you, ie it won't be a problem anymore.

 

Thank you. This is good advice, I don't think I have anything to build off of though. This is basically how the conversation went:

 

Me: Hello?

Her: Hey (my name) do you know who this is? Its (her name).

Me: Of course, whats up?

Her: "Explains that she is having trouble, and wants my perspective on it since I'm a guy. Explains her freinds situation. Then hands her phone to her friend who explains her part."

Me: Gave some advice.

Her: Thanks me and apologizes if she caught me at a bad time and took up my time.

Me: Told her it was ok. And she hangs up.

 

I was so confused since most of our conversations took place in text or in person. She rarely calls me. Later on, I felt like I didn't help her like I thought I did because all I gace was a opion not actual advice. So I texted her with actual advice.

 

Me: "Advice".

Her: thank you!

ME: No prob.

 

Broke contact with her, haven't seen her at school since we now have different classes.

 

I don't know, that phone conversation didn't really feel like a clue. The only thing I can work off of is why she called me out of all the people she knew? My name is near the beginning of the alphabet, so maybe that was a factor. Or maybe I wasn't the only guy she called.

 

I really want to just straight up text her and get a direct answer, but I fear that it may not work out..

[zachsack]

Why the hell do you keep making the same thread over and over? One thread was enough. This is the third one you've made.

 

I feel I should get more than one opinion to work off of. Is it a issue?

[Gary S]

If she has a crush on you:

 

I'd wait it out for awhile, if she still sees you once a week, even if it's just passing in the halls... crushes can last a long time, and grow over time... the bigger her crush is, the less you can do wrong!... maybe she'll call you again and ask you on a date or to "hang out"! Only fools rush in. And if she is the one calling, if she's making the moves - you have zero chance of rejection...man's biggest fear.

 

If you don't see her anymore, or at the end of the semester/start of summer vacation, and she has not called you first, then call her for a date/hang out. Patience pays - let the crush work for you.

 

If she does not have a crush on you, nothing will work, you are dead in the water.

[fitnessfan365]

Different people can respond in one thread. You don't need multiple ones.

 

But here is what I suggest. Give it a few weeks. Don't contact her at all and give it some time to see if she reaches out. If she doesn't, then send one quick text. "Your lame excuse to get me on the phone still cracks me up". If she responds playfully, say "It's tempting to see what excuse you come up with next, but let's just go out already. When are you free?"

[Versacehottie]

Thank you. This is good advice, I don't think I have anything to build off of though. This is basically how the conversation went:

 

Me: Hello?

Her: Hey (my name) do you know who this is? Its (her name).

Me: Of course, whats up?

Her: "Explains that she is having trouble, and wants my perspective on it since I'm a guy. Explains her freinds situation. Then hands her phone to her friend who explains her part."

Me: Gave some advice.

Her: Thanks me and apologizes if she caught me at a bad time and took up my time.

Me: Told her it was ok. And she hangs up.

 

I was so confused since most of our conversations took place in text or in person. She rarely calls me. Later on, I felt like I didn't help her like I thought I did because all I gace was a opion not actual advice. So I texted her with actual advice.

 

Me: "Advice".

Her: thank you!

ME: No prob.

 

Broke contact with her, haven't seen her at school since we now have different classes.

 

I don't know, that phone conversation didn't really feel like a clue. The only thing I can work off of is why she called me out of all the people she knew? My name is near the beginning of the alphabet, so maybe that was a factor. Or maybe I wasn't the only guy she called.

 

I really want to just straight up text her and get a direct answer, but I fear that it may not work out..

 

Well an obvious one is wanting to know an update of how the advice went. You can also be a little cocky/mischievious/sarcastic and say you are checking in to see what advice she needs this week. It's no more ridiculous to say that than her calling you (who she doesn't speak to much) for the "advice". It doesn't really matter if there was a real need for the advice or not. And obviously you may care very little for how it was used or if it was. It's is a foot in the door to keep the conversation going. And you have to realize that may be exactly the reason she called you to ask for faux-advice. Just to start the ball rolling. So be confident. You can start by saying "i haven't run into you at school lately, so how are things going with that situation I advised you on the other day?" Keep the conversation flowing--this is not the desired topic--any little thing she says is another door to open and build on your friendship. Flirt!

[zachsack]

If she has a crush on you:

 

I'd wait it out for awhile, if she still sees you once a week, even if it's just passing in the halls... crushes can last a long time, and grow over time... the bigger her crush is, the less you can do wrong!... maybe she'll call you again and ask you on a date or to "hang out"! Only fools rush in. And if she is the one calling, if she's making the moves - you have zero chance of rejection...man's biggest fear.

 

If you don't see her anymore, or at the end of the semester/start of summer vacation, and she has not called you first, then call her for a date/hang out. Patience pays - let the crush work for you.

 

If she does not have a crush on you, nothing will work, you are dead in the water.

 

Thank you for the advice!

[zachsack]

Well an obvious one is wanting to know an update of how the advice went. You can also be a little cocky/mischievious/sarcastic and say you are checking in to see what advice she needs this week. It's no more ridiculous to say that than her calling you (who she doesn't speak to much) for the "advice". It doesn't really matter if there was a real need for the advice or not. And obviously you may care very little for how it was used or if it was. It's is a foot in the door to keep the conversation going. And you have to realize that may be exactly the reason she called you to ask for faux-advice. Just to start the ball rolling. So be confident. You can start by saying "i haven't run into you at school lately, so how are things going with that situation I advised you on the other day?" Keep the conversation flowing--this is not the desired topic--any little thing she says is another door to open and build on your friendship. Flirt!

 

So your saying I should casually ask her how the advice worked out? If her friend really ACTUALLY wanted advice. Wouldn't I seem a bit nosy?

[Versacehottie]

So your saying I should casually ask her how the advice worked out? If her friend really ACTUALLY wanted advice. Wouldn't I seem a bit nosy?

 

Of course not! They involved you! If it was a secret, well it's a secret between the 3 of you now. Once someone asks you for a favor like that you are part of it. They can't just take your advice and want you to pretend like it never happened. Not nosy at all. Just curious about how the advice went. Or if the friend decided to use it.

 

Taking what the two guy posts in between mine said, you could also wait it out and see if she comes to you again. (I wouldn't go quite as cocky as the one post suggests though!). I don't think either approach is wrong. As long when you talk to her you have confidence. If you will have more confidence waiting until she approaches you again via a phone call, text or in halls or something, then you can talk to her about advice. The one disadvantage to that is then let's say in the hall, you both may be in a hurry. So you can't really use that potentially fleeting moment to build on things with her. I'm think of a phone call or texting that goes on for like an hour so there's more substance to what you have in common.

 

But if she likes you already, there's no harm in man-ing up and reaching out to her. She'd prob love it. Just a word of caution, if she does have a boyfriend, protect yourself. Make sure she is not just using you for attention/ego-boost or to make him jealous. That's why I was asking "are you close to the guy that her friend likes?" Because if so, then they could have been asking you so that you in turn would pass the message onto this guy. In others words, in that case, you were a messenger. Let me know!

[zachsack]

Of course not! They involved you! If it was a secret, well it's a secret between the 3 of you now. Once someone asks you for a favor like that you are part of it. They can't just take your advice and want you to pretend like it never happened. Not nosy at all. Just curious about how the advice went. Or if the friend decided to use it.

 

Taking what the two guy posts in between mine said, you could also wait it out and see if she comes to you again. (I wouldn't go quite as cocky as the one post suggests though!). I don't think either approach is wrong. As long when you talk to her you have confidence. If you will have more confidence waiting until she approaches you again via a phone call, text or in halls or something, then you can talk to her about advice. The one disadvantage to that is then let's say in the hall, you both may be in a hurry. So you can't really use that potentially fleeting moment to build on things with her. I'm think of a phone call or texting that goes on for like an hour so there's more substance to what you have in common.

 

But if she likes you already, there's no harm in man-ing up and reaching out to her. She'd prob love it. Just a word of caution, if she does have a boyfriend, protect yourself. Make sure she is not just using you for attention/ego-boost or to make him jealous. That's why I was asking "are you close to the guy that her friend likes?" Because if so, then they could have been asking you so that you in turn would pass the message onto this guy. In others words, in that case, you were a messenger. Let me know!

 

No, I have no idea who that guy is. And she called me again last night but I didn't pick up. I was in bed at the time. I haven't returned her call either. What should I say when I do?

[Versacehottie]

see she likes you, i think. Just say, "you rang?" or something like that. And then ask how she is doing and then see how the advice worked out and then ask what she is up to today and tell her what you're up to. Try to be detailed and let the conversation flow and jump all over the place. Not linear!! that is not necessary or flirty!

[zachsack]

see she likes you, i think. Just say, "you rang?" or something like that. And then ask how she is doing and then see how the advice worked out and then ask what she is up to today and tell her what you're up to. Try to be detailed and let the conversation flow and jump all over the place. Not linear!! that is not necessary or flirty!

 

Yeah I wanted to do that, but I rang her twice with no answer.

[Versacehottie]

Yeah I wanted to do that, but I rang her twice with no answer.

 

well leave a message. Maybe she is busy or can't talk or wants to wait until she can have a longer, flirtier conversation. A guy with game and confidence will think like this and not worry about it. All positive reasons for why she did not answer not negative, debilitating ones.

[zachsack]

well leave a message. Maybe she is busy or can't talk or wants to wait until she can have a longer, flirtier conversation. A guy with game and confidence will think like this and not worry about it. All positive reasons for why she did not answer not negative, debilitating ones.

 

 

Ok thank you for the help.