Has anyone's ex wanted them back, after you'd gotten over them/with someone else?

[eastern_mystique]

Hey All,

 

I was just wondering if anyone had been broken up with, and then after you'd gotten over that person they suddenly decide they want you back? Or that you're with someone new and your ex gets jealous even though they're the one who ditched you.

 

This hasn't happened to me (yet), but I thought it'd be an interesting question to throw out there. Seems quite ironic, doesn't it? Sort of a catch 22 situation..... I suppose it's good if you're the vengeful type, as you can turn around and say 'now you know how it feels - screw you!'

 

Just my thoughts anyway.

[snipit3172]

THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME I WAS DUMPED BY AN EX 2 YEATRS AGO BUT WE WOULD STILL SPEAK COS WE WERE FRIENDS BEFORE WE WERE TOGETHER

 

ANYWAY ABOUT A YEAR AFTER WE SPLIT UP I MET SOMEONE KNEW I TOLD HIM ABOUT IT AND AFTER A WHILE MY EX SAID HE WANTED ME BACK I SAID NO COS I LOVED MY NEW MAN AND ASKED IF HE INLY SAID THAT COS I WAS WITH SOMEONE

 

WELL NEW MAN DUMPED ME AFTER 5 MONTHS WITH NO EXPLAINATION BUT THATS ANOTHER STORY ITS NOW BEEN OVER 6 MONTHS SINCE WE SPLIT AND THE OLDER EX HAS MENTIONED A FEW TIMES ABOUT US GETTING BACK TOGETHER LIKE JUST LAST WEEK HE SAID IT AGAIN AND SAID I SHOULD NOT FIGHT IT COS HE KNOWS WE WILL END UP TOGETHER AND GET MARRIED BUT IM NOT GOING BACK THERE AGAIN COS THERE IS NO SAYING IT WOULD BE ANY DIFFERENT THIS TIME IT ACTUALLY FEELS GOOD FOR SHOE TO BE ON OTHER FOOT SO YES IT DOES HAPPEN

[Solace5144]

This just happened to me today. I dated a guy, then he broke up with me. For 3 months he led me around on a leash, and finally I just ended it all together. About 5 months later I met my most recent ex (we broke up about a month ago). So guess who decides to IM. You guessed it. The ex from 4 years ago. He' kept saying that he missed all the fun times we used to have, and wants me to drive down to see him this weekend. No I will not be suckered into that. I understand why he is my ex, and if he really wants to see me, he can come up here. Otherwise, I won't waste my time even driving 8 hours to see this guy. I'm still not over the recent ex, but I know now, if he wants to come back, he will let me know. However, I don't think about him as much as when we first broke up, and I only have to deal w/ him in college. I'm just glad I can still be his friend. So anyway, I can't believe the guy I dated 4 years ago randomly decides he misses me. It's so funny cause now he is in MY shoes. He gave up a good thing, and I know one day something better will come along then the past two exes. Only time will tell, but right now I am concentrating on myself.

 

Moral of the story: BREAKUPS hurt and love is definitly not easy. But honestly things happen for a REASON. I always have felt the reason for a breakup is because there is someone out there that is meant to be your soulmate. Whatever you do, do not go out looking for love. Love has mysterious ways of coming to you when you least expect it. (this happened with the past two exes). Just make sure you learn what you liked about the relationship and hated, so you can avoid it in future relationships!

[reservoirdog1]

Something similar happened to me. Over a year and a half ago, my almost-ex-wife (XW) broke down and confessed that she'd been miserable throughout the marriage and was a serial cheat. We tried to reconcile for a couple of months but she didn't want to try anymore, so we split.

 

Following the split, and after some very early discussions about trying again that ultimately led to nothing (because she finally shot them down), I started dating somebody else. I definitely wasn't naive enough to believe that I was over my XW; fortunately I was very upfront with the woman I started dating and she knew what I was going through.

 

Anyway, a few weeks into this, my XW began saying weird things, telling me that she missed me, telling me she was glad I'd found somebody to date, and that she hoped she'd also find somebody. (She'd kind of already started dating a guy old enough to be her father, but that's beside the point.)

 

And then, a couple of days later, she told me she wanted us to try again (notably, NOT because I was the only person for her or something inspiring like that, but because she didn't like single parenthood and wanted to be a family again). I didn't understand how this jibed with her wanting the separation and not wanting to reconcile, so I told her I couldn't try again with her.

 

Initially, it felt good that she wanted me back after I'd started dating somebody else. But the good feelings didn't last. What they succeeded in doing was contributing greatly to screwing things up between me and the woman I was dating. Within a month I was really f*cked up by XW's last attempt, ended things with the woman I'd been dating, and made another stab at trying again with XW. This time, SHE shot it down. Again. That was a bit over a year ago, and mercifully it was the last attempt either of us has made. We've stayed apart and are almost divorced.

[RecordProducer]

I had a long-distance relationship with a guy from the US. I told him that if we don't get married until May that I would end our relationship. We met online in September. We met first in person in the beginning of January (4 months later). The next time was supposed to be May. However he wasn't ready for marriage so he acted poorly with me and my kids (he was hoping i'd ditch him if he's not good enough) and finally said he wasn't ready for marriage.

Six months later he wrote me an email saying happy B/day to my kids and asked me how I was doing. I told him I was in love with someone else. The moment he found out that, he started chasing me and proposing me to marry him. I rejected him, but now, as my current BF is not thinking about marriage, I am thinking about contacting the ex BF again. Once he realized he lost me he wanted me. I have the feeling that the same situation will happen with the current BF; once he realizes that I got back with my ex (or anyone else), he might want to marry me.

But my ex-husband, who I have two children with, never wanted me back, although he never found another woman after me (he left me).

Anyway, I wonder how much it's real and how much it's due to the fact that they know it's really over. I mean if I would contact my ex BF (who now wants me) I am wondering if he will really want to marry me now.

[EC]

Like I wrote in the "Worst way to break up thread" My first love and my first, ditched me after a year with no explanation, no reasons, nothing. Then moved out of town..and I never heard from him again. I had to find out from friends what happened. Then I contacted him he gave me some bullsh*t excuse and I believed him and we tried a long distance relationship until I found out he was cheating on me.

 

So i broke up with him because of that but i still loved him and swore he was the only one for me. U know how it goes with the first love lol

 

So then I tried getting over him and dated other guys but I still wanted him no one compared. So he came back into town and we went at it again. He told me I was the love of his life and that he had realized all the mistakes he made. He said he had been with other girls but that they didn't compare to me and he really wanted to make this work. So I believed him because I thought this must be true because I dated others and still wanted him and I was just so happy to have him in my life again. I really, honestly thought we were going to be together forever this time. I put his pictures back in the frames..we were happy. And then I found out he was cheating on me again but he disappeared again before I could b*tch him out. He left town again.

 

So I again I was heart broken. I dated and met a guy and dated him for about a year and that didn't work out. He was murdered shortly after that and I was a wreck. Very hard time in my life. And then I met my current bf. And for the first time after meeting my current BF I opened my eyes in the morning and my first thought wasn't of my first love. I went throughout the day and realized I didn't wonder what he was doing anymore or who he was with. He wasn't my last thought anymore at the end of the day before bed.

It took me about two in a half/three years to accomplish this!

 

And so I have been with my current bf for about a year now and I actually ran into my first love and for the first time My heart didn't jump like before. We spoke and laughed and then he said he missed me and that he wanted to hang out. I told him Im sorry but that I was madly in love with my bf and that I couldn't hang out with him. Well that set him off! He showed up at my house and tried everything in his power to get me back..but I didn't want him anymore he had hurt me wayyyyyy too much.

 

I still run into him in the weirdest places about every three months. It's weird. And every time he tells me are you ready for me yet? And I say no and we go our separate ways.

[from ND]

wow, these are some excellent posts.......I have been off and on with a woman for almost 2 years, we met July 4th ( I would really appreciate some advice) 2003 at a sober function, Like they say, I wasn't looking for anything at the time, I had my motorcycle my own apartment, lots of friends. she wanted to date, I found this out because her girlfriends were asking what I thought of her. well we became good friends, just hanging out alot. I spent alot of nights with her for almost a month and a half before we even were intimate, all of the way.

 

By september of that year we were together all of the time, we moved in together in October 03, things were going ok, keeping in mind we were both in recovery at the time, it became apparent that whenever we would argue, one would go drinking, or use. about November of that year, she told me she wanted the apoartment to herself and that i should move, so, I left, only to have her begging me to come back 6 days later. March of last year I found out she was sleeping with her boss at the time and took off to washington state on a train. i was devastated. I had been completeley faithfull to her the whole time. also it was during this time i found out she is still married to her ex, though he is in prison, and she speaks of divorce, i noticed he came up in the coversations alot. while i was in WA, she got busted for meth use, and sent to a state treatment program.

 

I wrote to her there and told her I support her recovery. This ended up wiyt me moving back there, and visiting her at he facility every 4 days. things were going better. then last july shortly before she was to get out of that p[lace, she wanted to break up ( AGAIN), so...I moved back to our original town and carried on, still thinking of her, but stubbornly clinging the idea that SHE wanted it over so I wasnt gonna beg for her back. right around labor day she called my phone, and asked me to move to the city where she lived, shge had a 2 bedroom apt. I moved there, got a better paying job, but was not happy (not with her, but in the city), soon, it was the same old deal, lots of lying, I relapsed, I found out there were other guys, whom she maintained were "friends" and ended up drinking. I went to jail for drunk driving around ha;lloween, when i got out of jail, she said we were over and she wasnt taking me back.

'

I decided to go to treatment and told her of this, not to get her back but for me this time, she came down to the hotel i was at the night before i left, she was drunk and wanted to have sex, knowing that i wouldnt see her again, i slept with her, when normally with her drunk, i tried to take care of her and tell her to go to sleep, so, nov 04 I get to ohio get to treatment,all through xmas new years did not hear from her, finally i was feeling like maybe its not meant to be, so, about a month ago, i decised to write her a letter telling her, I am sorry for things i did that hurt her, and that i hope she has a man who treats her well and thanked her actually for dumping me. AI sent it to her moms because i didnt have her current address. then on good friday this year, i get a phone call.......................................................So and so, is calling from a correctional facility in Fargo, ND...and it was HER!!!, she is on the other end crying, telling me she is in jail and she Loves me, thats all she would say about 3 times " I love You", are you gonna come visit???, I told her to hang in there and maybe i will visit but no guarantee, I didnt know what to say, you know???

well after i hang up the phone i got this lighting bolt of feelings come out that I had thought were gone, like suddenly the whole relationship, ythe last 2 years played though my mind like a movie, and I started crying, I guess I wanna know what the reason is, or what she is thinking because in my letter i told her i am happy now and doing really well, i havent met no one new since her, but I mean maybe she read my letter and sees she made a mistake, or maybe she just wanted to talk, she asked me to take my phone off the vblocker to accept collect calls from her from the jail, but I wont do it, because i feel i cannot trust her, so i wrote her a letter, but I didnt put anything about where me and her stand in it, i just wrote mainly telling her things will workl out for the better for her and stay positive while shes locked up

maybe i should have talked about us, but I mean its been 5 months since ANY contact, i dont really know if i wanna know the dirty details , like that one guy said its alot of baggage, I know if we are to get back together, we need to sit down and talk about everything that went bad, atr least thats how i feel, what would you guys do?