HeartSprinkles Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 I'm just going to jump right in... Last semester I had a Calculus class with this guy, and we talked all the time. He would get there early to sit with me. I started to realize that I really like this guy. I know we didn't really have much of a friendship at the time, but we would go get coffee after class, and laugh a lot. I just got out of a bad relationship, so I didn't want to get into anything serious, and I learned that he had a GIRLFRIEND. We signed up for a Calculus class together this semster, (i was really excited about) and now it is coming to a close. I am not taking the same classes as him this summer...but I want to be his friend...or more if he were ever to ask. Are these signs? (keep in mind that he has a GF) He gives me his jacket He waits for me after class (15mins or more) He opens my water bottle He looks at me during class (we sit next to eachother) We talk about and like some of the same things (our conversations are always full of laughter, he laughs a lot with me...) I can feel something when I look in his eyes (is this one sided?) I went on a date with another guy about two weeks ago and he won't stop talking about it He teases me about liking other guys in class and it makes we want to scream We go for coffee at least everyother day (even when I know he has already had coffee) We don't talk on the phone (we have eachothers' phone numbers), we don't hang out outside of school. Why do you think that is? Is it b/c he has a GF...is he waiting for me to make a move...I am sooo confused. Can you tell by the feeling you get when you look someone in the eyes? Is it reciprocated? Is he crushing on me hard, or not at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 I dunno. Maybe he's in an open relationship. Of course, there is one GUARANTEED way to find out what he thinks of you: Just bloody ASK him what the deal is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartSprinkles Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 If i ask him I might lose the chance to be his friend...and plus he might think i'm wierd...I just really want to know if you all think that he likes me... Link to post Share on other sites
RoxStar Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Flirt a little and see if he flirts back. Go out for a cocktail and see if he gets a little touchy feely after a few drinks. Hold the gaze when you see him and see if maybe he leans in to kiss you. I dont suggest asking him if he digs you because if he doesnt you look like a jackass... no offense. See if he wants to get together outside of class. Drunk dial him. There are a million ways to give a hint that you dig him and then you can really see if he reciprocates. It doesnt seem like enough has happened though to tell if he is into you based on sitting next to each other in class. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Hello he has a GF leave him the hell alone!!! Grrrr..... Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 I agree with EC. Even if you won him over, if you decide to actively pursue him, the start of the relationship would be messed up, to say the least. You'd be paranoid the same thing would happen to you. Furthermore you will run the risk, if you flirt more with him that he will give you: "I am breaking up with my gf"- line thus encouraging you to cheat with him on his gf. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartSprinkles Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 I would never pursue anything with him while he has a GF. That is a terrible thing todo and it is not something that I would do. Perhaps some have missed my point...I am just getting really mixed signals from him, and if he's into me, that would be great, but I don't want him while he has a GF. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 It's a grey area sometimes. The fact is, a lot of relationships - even ones that end up in marriage - started while previous relationships were beginning to fade. Generally, what EC and d'Hartez have said is something I agree with: you should not try to disrupt a relationship that is otherwise solid. That's the way it should be; that's not always what happens, though. And there's nothing wrong with showing that you're interested in a guy if circumstances change - you're just letting him know the truth and letting the chips fall where they may. From what you've written, he could be interested but maybe he's comfortable in his relationship. You just have to go with the flow on this one. Be patient and see where it leads. Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Or you could just TELL him that you feel like you've been getting mixed signals and ask him what the deal is. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Ballsy. I like it! Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 The ideal time to tell me so would have been after the FIRST time I said it Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 I think he sees you as a friend because thats what you SHOULD be if he has a gf and he sounds like a GOOD guy who is not calling you ( and shouldn't be calling you ) and who isnt getting physical with you ( and shouldn't be getting that way with you while he has a gf ). I think he likes you but maybe just as a friend. If he wants something further and his current relationship is declining , then only time will tell. Did he tell you he was unhappy ? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 The best way to find out how he feels is to ask him innocent questions about his GF. If he talks about her in a loving way, if he says he loves her (you can even ask him "you love her very much, don't you?" with an innocent I-am-happy-for-you kinda smile) then you'll know he won't be yours. If he is reluctant to talk about her then he might want an affair. He would be with both of you. If he complains about his relationship, there's your chance but also a risk that he might go out with both of you. I personally think he likes you, but is unsure about your feelings towards him and is also, like you, afraid that you might reject him. Speaking of the morality part, he can break up with his GF and be with you. His GF might not be his Miss Right. I don't think it's immoral if he leaves her for another girl. He is not married and he has a right to leave one person over a better one until he eventually finds the right one. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 The problem is of course, that you won't start the relationship cleanly. Suppose he breaks up with his gf. What will happen? He can get depressed, become confused for all what he has thrown away; at least that is what will be on his mind a couple of times. Breaking up is never easy, even if you are the dumper. Then you might have an ex-gf that does not understand what happened, and desperately tries to re-establish the relationship. Suppose he does not break it off, but lets OP know that he has broken things off with his gf. Affair time. And it will be OP and gf that suffer the most damage. Not saying that it will happen, but sadly the possibility is there. Bad for the ego, and you wil have shattered trust in men, inflicted by yourself however. And even if abovementioned don't occur how certain can OP be, that the same injury is not inflicted upon her? She will be paranoid that her bf leaves her for another girl. After all, that is how she won him. So they would have major trust issues at the start of the relationship. If he just sees you as a friend, be very careful with your words and expressions. It is not difficult for a third party to break a good relationship. It can almost go unnoticed; but with that you would also risk the friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 It's a fine line and there's more than one angle to consider here. 1. Dating - even exclusive dating - isn't the same as marriage. You can leave one girl for another, you just can't date two at one time unless you've previously agreed to such and you play fair. 2. From the guy's perspective in this situation: He has the right to decide whether or not someone else would make him happier, he just has to live with the consequences of his decision and let everyone involved where they stand once he's reached a conclusion. If he decides that this girl might be a better match, he shouldn't be given grief for making his decision. 3. From the girl's perspective: She has the right to make her interest known to him. She just needs to remember, though, that if he tells her "No, I'm happy with the way things are", then that's probably going to strain their friendship. There's no way he can continue to hang out with this girl if he knows that she wants more than friendship - not without doing something that's rightfully going to piss off his girlfriend. So basically, it's all or nothing if you disclose your interest: either you win him over and get your guy, or you don't and you keep your distance; otherwise, you're not being a friend, you're being a friend with an agenda. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Post: 7 | Quote: I would never pursue anything with him while he has a GF. That is a terrible thing todo and it is not something that I would do. Perhaps some have missed my point...I am just getting really mixed signals from him, and if he's into me, that would be great, but I don't want him while he has a GF. If you wouldn't pursue anything with him while he has a gf then why are you even trying to figure out if he likes you or not? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartSprinkles Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 Just to make things clear, I am not pursuing anything, in fact he is the one who seeks me out. I don't talk to him about his GF, he rarely mentions her, and I certainly would never slander her. In fact, if she is the one for him, I hope that they are happy and that their love stays strong for many years to come. The reason I seek an answer is that things can get kind of wierd with me and him from time to time. At school I get the "are you two together?" thing from other people. I also feel that he does act towards me in a way that most other guys I know in school don't. It is mind boggling to me that he has a GF yet he is this way towards me. That is why I wish to gain perspective on my situation. I know that if anything were to ever become of us, it wouldn't be for quite some time. He is a lovely guy, and I just hope he thinks that I am a lovely girl to have as a friend. Please don't think that I would ever want anyone to get hurt in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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