Any Ideas?!?!

[lost in love]

Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop a fiance from spending all their money on their car, when they are in debt? I've tried telling him that he shouldn't be spending money on a car when he could be paying off his bills!

 

Any Ideas? ANYONE HELP!?

[Miss Mojo]

is he spening his money on repairs for the car, or is he just a rev head who's car is his baby and he fixes things that don't need fixing?

 

ask him to give his key card to you so that he can't access his bank account through a teller machine. my sister did that with her ex who had a gambling problem. he would overdraw his account every time he got paid, anywhere from $100 to $300. this of course meant that he was in debit, and when he got paid again, the bank would automatically take out of his wage whatever he owed them. when she took his key card from him, he couldn't overdraw.

 

she took his key card and took out some of his weekly wage to pay whatever bills needed paying, and then gave him a certain amount of money for petrol etc. when the bills were paid, and he didn't *need* money for anything, he got no money. sure, they still went out together, but his finances were under control.

 

this kind of action though is quite extreme, and i would only suggest it if your boyfriend was a compulsive spender and his spending was really crippling things financially for the two of you. he may not even want you to control his finances. you can only suggest it to him and see what he thinks.

 

aside from that, maybe this is a lesson he has to learn himself. and don't lend him any money when it's not absolutley necessary.

[lost in love]

is he spening his money on repairs for the car, or is he just a rev head who's car is his baby and he fixes things that don't need fixing?

 

ask him to give his key card to you so that he can't access his bank account through a teller machine. my sister did that with her ex who had a gambling problem. he would overdraw his account every time he got paid, anywhere from $100 to $300. this of course meant that he was in debit, and when he got paid again, the bank would automatically take out of his wage whatever he owed them. when she took his key card from him, he couldn't overdraw.

 

she took his key card and took out some of his weekly wage to pay whatever bills needed paying, and then gave him a certain amount of money for petrol etc. when the bills were paid, and he didn't *need* money for anything, he got no money. sure, they still went out together, but his finances were under control. this kind of action though is quite extreme, and i would only suggest it if your boyfriend was a compulsive spender and his spending was really crippling things financially for the two of you. he may not even want you to control his finances. you can only suggest it to him and see what he thinks. aside from that, maybe this is a lesson he has to learn himself. and don't lend him any money when it's not absolutley necessary.

That is definetly extreme, even though i have offered it to him. But he definitely doesnt like that idea! He just keeps buying all these toys and stuff for the car, things he definitely doesnt need. and the bills just keep adding up & up. He thinks everything will be okay, everytime i tell him about his bills and him wasting money on the car. he just brushes off the fact that bills are due & not going away & definitely not getting any lower.

 

Is there any other ideas?maybe not so extreme?

 

This money thing is really starting to tear up our relationship.

[Miss Mojo]

i can see why his spending would be getting in the way of your relationship with him. financial pressures can really place a huge weight on a relationship.

 

your boyfriend has a problem with spending money (and some people are addicted to spending money just as others are to gambling or alcohol), so perhaps he should see a counsellor. if he feels insulted about you confronting his money problems, then maybe a way to suggest to get help is to tell him that "we have a problem" - becauase it is becoming a problem for the two of you as a couple. this is affecting your relationship together. it might be easier on him if he thinks it can be worked out together or if he doesn't see the blame being laid solely on him. it appears he doesn't think there is a problem when there obviously is. if there wasn't a problem, the bills wouldn't keep on piling up and you wouldn't be worried. if money grew on trees you wouldn't care and the bills wouldn't be piling up. he needs to learn how to take responsibility financially.

 

some people are just not good with money, they find it difficult to keep track of their spending and buy compulsively, or can't resist trying to impress other people by buying gifts they can't afford. others have the basic ability to manage money, but it doesn't show because all their money is going on some kind of habit.

 

nevertheless, you have tried the extreme option of offering to help handle his finances and he has declined. if he declines counselling of any sort or can't face financial reality on his own, then perhaps you should seriously re-evaluate if this is the kind of guy you want to share your life with. if he refuses to acknowledge a problem or get help, this will not stop and will tear you apart anyway.