Cant move on emotionally after Co-Worker Affair

[Giraffe2014]

Happy to stop posting here if that’s what the other posters would prefer; to be honest I can’t really say what I am thinking in full anymore anyway for fear of the backlash.

I let myself get carried away and caught up in a situation as a complete novice, playing with guy (AP) that does cheating for a living. I learned this, I compromised a good man and marriage for the rough and tumble and excitement, and who knows, this could ultimately cost me my marriage, only time will tell.

Its been a week now since the work trip and I’ve not had a conversation with AP, nor the desire to do so. Hes not tried to message me privately and I cant see how that’ll change, all things said, he too didn’t want to get caught when I repeatedly told him I wouldn’t commit he seems happy enough to move on to his next affair.

I slept with AP unprotected as I was irresponsible, drunk, partying, call it what you may. As a result I could have a disease, pregnancy, who knows. Only time will tell. Time will tell a lot and I promise to come back in the coming weeks to update you as to where my life has gone.

[I_Give_Up67]

Happy to stop posting here if that’s what the other posters would prefer; to be honest I can’t really say what I am thinking in full anymore anyway for fear of the backlash.

I let myself get carried away and caught up in a situation as a complete novice, playing with guy (AP) that does cheating for a living. I learned this, I compromised a good man and marriage for the rough and tumble and excitement, and who knows, this could ultimately cost me my marriage, only time will tell.

Its been a week now since the work trip and I’ve not had a conversation with AP, nor the desire to do so. Hes not tried to message me privately and I cant see how that’ll change, all things said, he too didn’t want to get caught when I repeatedly told him I wouldn’t commit he seems happy enough to move on to his next affair.

I slept with AP unprotected as I was irresponsible, drunk, partying, call it what you may. As a result I could have a disease, pregnancy, who knows. Only time will tell. Time will tell a lot and I promise to come back in the coming weeks to update you as to where my life has gone.

 

 

Even still it all about the AP, DH only gets a slight reference in passing.

[fellini]

Why do you post if she is not listening to any advise?

 

Would it be fair to ask LS members not to post unless they have something productive to say?

 

do people here actually get off here writing such offensive and sarcastic posts?

 

Advice is exactly that, advice. It's offered, but never assumed that it's required to follow. If that were the case it wouldn't be advice would it. Can't you see that several people here are passing the line of reasonable discourse merely based on the weight of this woman's disinterest in their "advice". The more she displays a lack of interest in them the more offensive and repulsive they feel they have the right to get.

 

The fact is, this is just another case of infidelity, not really that much different than any other, including my own WW.

 

The only real difference is she came in here to LS and wrote about her failures while she was still fully immersed in them. Had she opened her account AFTER her infamous business trip she would be like a thousand waywardS that have passed through LS.

 

Really I think the LS community is overreacting. what does it matter if a WS doesn't listen to LS or doesn't listen to her best friend strongly advising not to go that route?

 

My WW had 3 moments when she heard the advice that she needed to hear and it did not stop her. That's just how it is sometimes. Why some people here think their advice means more than anyone else who has tried to stop infidelity is beyond me.

 

This OP was in the exact same place my WW was before DDay: involved in an affair with a man and having slept with him on several occasions.

 

Why can't you just treat her like any other WS and work with where she is, not where you wish her to be?

 

 

 

 

Why post? It's obvious from this entire thread that you are not listening to the posters giving you advice. You'll just deflect and attempt to justify hurting your spouse further. Here's an idea. How about you don't post again until you've come clean to your husband. Once you actually begin understanding what you have done and feeling your husbands pain will you actually begin heeding the advice you've been given.

 

Until you do that, your doing nothing more than rubbing other posters noses in your **** sandwich.

[AprilTears]

Giraffe - I really hope your husband finds out about this since you refuse to come clean with him. There's a very good chance that he will eventually find out as others have said. I sure hope it's because you slip up or someone tells him and not because he gets an STD that you passed to him.

Edited April 3, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Noirek]

Why do you post if she is not listening to any advise?

 

Would it be fair to ask LS members not to post unless they have something productive to say?

 

do people here actually get off here writing such offensive and sarcastic posts?

 

Advice is exactly that, advice. It's offered, but never assumed that it's required to follow. If that were the case it wouldn't be advice would it. Can't you see that several people here are passing the line of reasonable discourse merely based on the weight of this woman's disinterest in their "advice". The more she displays a lack of interest in them the more offensive and repulsive they feel they have the right to get.

 

The fact is, this is just another case of infidelity, not really that much different than any other, including my own WW.

 

The only real difference is she came in here to LS and wrote about her failures while she was still fully immersed in them. Had she opened her account AFTER her infamous business trip she would be like a thousand waywardS that have passed through LS.

 

Really I think the LS community is overreacting. what does it matter if a WS doesn't listen to LS or doesn't listen to her best friend strongly advising not to go that route?

 

My WW had 3 moments when she heard the advice that she needed to hear and it did not stop her. That's just how it is sometimes. Why some people here think their advice means more than anyone else who has tried to stop infidelity is beyond me.

 

This OP was in the exact same place my WW was before DDay: involved in an affair with a man and having slept with him on several occasions.

 

Why can't you just treat her like any other WS and work with where she is, not where you wish her to be?

 

Quoted for the sheer fact some people need to check themselves and their entitlement on this post. This is good. This is a person, mid affair just like me. Every single person who has had an affair has been mid affair at some point. And unless LS changes the forum and makes this BS exclusive she need not apologize for posting here or be run off with torches and pitchforks.

 

Block her, stop reading her thread. Basically choose to be an adult.

[Akheron]

"Happy to stop posting here if that’s what the other posters would prefer; to be honest I can’t really say what I am thinking in full anymore anyway for fear of the backlash."

 

I said don't post until you come clean. Again, not listening (reading). You have proven over and over and over again that you don't care what people are saying here. Only when you start suffering consequences will you understand.

 

"I can’t really say what I am thinking in full anymore anyway for fear of the backlash."

 

WTH does that mean? Are you saying there is more to this story than you've already told? I can't possibly imagine that this can get any worse.

 

"I let myself get carried away and caught up in a situation as a complete novice, playing with guy (AP) that does cheating for a living."

 

100%, unadulterated, complete, crap. You didn't let yourself do anything. You CHOSE to do it. Even planned it for gods sake. Do you honestly believe that anyone here believed you when you said you were trying to book different hotels. I sure as hell didn't.

 

"I learned this, I compromised a good man and marriage for the rough and tumble and excitement, and who knows, this could ultimately cost me my marriage, only time will tell."

 

You haven't learned anything. Not until you come clean. Then you will really learn what you have done. Banged a player coke head without protection FOR A WEEK and then exposed your entire family. My god, WTH.

 

"Its been a week now since the work trip and I’ve not had a conversation with AP, nor the desire to do so. Hes not tried to message me privately and I cant see how that’ll change, all things said, he too didn’t want to get caught when I repeatedly told him I wouldn’t commit he seems happy enough to move on to his next affair."

 

And you seem more upset that he will move on to another affair than recognize the damage you've done to your family. Again, its all about the AP isn't it.

 

"I slept with AP unprotected as I was irresponsible, drunk, partying, call it what you may. As a result I could have a disease, pregnancy, who knows. Only time will tell."

 

Were you drunk the entire week? From morning til night? Baloney. You had unprotected sex and you CHOSE to have unprotected sex because you have no respect for your husband or your marriage. I even suspect you enjoy the fact of knowing that you gave this POS AP something that you, evidently, don't give your husband very often.

 

"Time will tell a lot and I promise to come back in the coming weeks to update you as to where my life has gone."

 

Hopefully you come clean and begin to have true consequences.

 

And you still haven't answered the question. Isn't this the second man you've asked advice about? This fact lets everyone know that if you don't come clean, you will do this again. Either with the AP or someone else. And your husband gets clean up.

[Akheron]

"This OP was in the exact same place my WW was before DDay: involved in an affair with a man and having slept with him on several occasions."

 

Big difference. You know and was able to make a choice. OP's husband (and son) doesn't and is being exposed to no telling what. Furthermore, the husband gets the pleasure of being treated like a doormat so the OP can cake eat. You want to empower her to continue to allow her husband to live a lie, be my guest. I'm not.

 

"Why can't you just treat her like any other WS..."

 

I am.

[itmustbeme]

Why do you post if she is not listening to any advise?

 

Would it be fair to ask LS members not to post unless they have something productive to say?

 

do people here actually get off here writing such offensive and sarcastic posts?

 

Advice is exactly that, advice. It's offered, but never assumed that it's required to follow. If that were the case it wouldn't be advice would it. Can't you see that several people here are passing the line of reasonable discourse merely based on the weight of this woman's disinterest in their "advice". The more she displays a lack of interest in them the more offensive and repulsive they feel they have the right to get.

 

The fact is, this is just another case of infidelity, not really that much different than any other, including my own WW.

 

The only real difference is she came in here to LS and wrote about her failures while she was still fully immersed in them. Had she opened her account AFTER her infamous business trip she would be like a thousand waywardS that have passed through LS.

 

Really I think the LS community is overreacting. what does it matter if a WS doesn't listen to LS or doesn't listen to her best friend strongly advising not to go that route?

 

My WW had 3 moments when she heard the advice that she needed to hear and it did not stop her. That's just how it is sometimes. Why some people here think their advice means more than anyone else who has tried to stop infidelity is beyond me.

 

This OP was in the exact same place my WW was before DDay: involved in an affair with a man and having slept with him on several occasions.

 

Why can't you just treat her like any other WS and work with where she is, not where you wish her to be?

 

I think most people would be big fans if she did the right thing by her husband. What she is doing is disgusting but I have hope that she will treat a good Husband and Father with the dignity and respect he deservers.

 

You seem to be cheering her on to continue doing the wrong thing and that is your right. But I always think of the following saying:

 

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

 

Many people are doing what they can to convince her to do the right thing. I am sorry that it bothers you so much that people are trying to get her to treat her husband like he deserves.

 

I will be on her side though if she ever treats him with some dignity. I hope she continues to post but I also hope she does the right thing.

[Noirek]

I think most people would be big fans if she did the right thing by her husband. What she is doing is disgusting but I have hope that she will treat a good Husband and Father with the dignity and respect he deservers.

 

You seem to be cheering her on to continue doing the wrong thing and that is your right. But I always think of the following saying:

 

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

 

Many people are doing what they can to convince her to do the right thing. I am sorry that it bothers you so much that people are trying to get her to treat her husband like he deserves.

 

I will be on her side though if she ever treats him with some dignity. I hope she continues to post but I also hope she does the right thing.

 

No, he just has a different opinion than you. To him the wrong thing is continuing the affair and he isn't doing that. He is also working with what he has got. she has made it clear she isn't going to confess. No matter how angry or nasty the posters get she won't be confessing.

[Hope Shimmers]

Wow, I am not sure why posters here think they should police the responses that this OP received. We have a very effective set of moderators who do that job.

 

The OP has every right to post here. Members have every right to comment, within the LS community guidelines, even if others don't like those posts.

 

If you don't like or 'approve' of the responses that members have posted to this OP, then take your own advice and either put people on 'ignore' or leave the thread alone.

[whichwayisup]

Ignore the posters who aren't here to help and are being rude. Focus on advice that is helpful to you. You choose which reply you'd like to respond to.

 

Please get yourself to the DR and get tested for STD's. Seek counseling. Work on you and stay as far away from that guy as possible, he's nothing but trouble.

[William]

I've got an idea. Rather than people advising about how to conduct interactions on LoveShack, why not leave that to moderation and, further, since we're out over 500 posts now and most of the recent posts have degenerated into mudslinging and who to take advice from and who not to, I'll close this up and invite the thread starter to read it and re-read it at their leisure. Hope it's been helpful.