Cant move on emotionally after Co-Worker Affair

[Giraffe2014]

There is something very wrong with me! I am an attention seeker, feeding off attention from others, regardless of sex. I was never like this, ever! I look at me now and wonder what happened to me. Trying to make sense of it all, I was always a bubbly faithful girl/woman. Now I know AP is gone for good, in my heart of hearts this is the way forward for me. (Not both of us as he will never settle).

I see now how hurtful my post is to the members here, posting was a selfish act, I wanted comfort and advice about my situation with little regard of those here who have suffered.

Recalling my first visit I wanted the answer to right my life from someone whos experienced similar and received advice from a broad spectrum of people, good, bad and ugly.

Unless I am uncovered, I will never confess, even when I do move jobs I will keep this forever, or this is how I feel right now. Too much damage will be done to DH and son. I know they would be better off knowing the truth, my acts were that ugly but it will tear them apart.

Now home and settling back to “Normal” I find myself thinking of DH and AP and with the successor of my head always being DH. I know he is the perfect man and I am living in a fantasy bubble.

[beach]

It's time to quit the job.

 

You can't trust yourself...and so you will likely cheat at the next job too...since you seek attention and risks.

 

 

Hewn your H asks why you quit tell him you can't be trusted around alcohol and other men. At least that would lead him to know some of what you've been capable of doing.

[I_Give_Up67]

Unless I am uncovered, I will never confess, even when I do move jobs I will keep this forever, or this is how I feel right now. Too much damage will be done to DH and son. I know they would be better off knowing the truth, my acts were that ugly but it will tear them apart.

Now home and settling back to “Normal” I find myself thinking of DH and AP and with the successor of my head always being DH. I know he is the perfect man and I am living in a fantasy bubble.

 

 

Giraffe- If you end the A now, and never have another one, I personally would forgive you for not disclosing A to your BH. That's just me. But if there is a chance that you will continue the A or have another, then I would plead with you to tell your BH.

 

 

At the very least, get yourself into IC ASAP! Make sure you get those STD tests done ASAP also, and remember to follow up in about 6 months for a re-test. You need immediate counseling.

[SoulStorm]

There is something very wrong with me! I am an attention seeker, feeding off attention from others, regardless of sex. I was never like this, ever! I look at me now and wonder what happened to me. Trying to make sense of it all, I was always a bubbly faithful girl/woman. Now I know AP is gone for good, in my heart of hearts this is the way forward for me. (Not both of us as he will never settle).

I see now how hurtful my post is to the members here, posting was a selfish act, I wanted comfort and advice about my situation with little regard of those here who have suffered.

Recalling my first visit I wanted the answer to right my life from someone whos experienced similar and received advice from a broad spectrum of people, good, bad and ugly.

Unless I am uncovered, I will never confess, even when I do move jobs I will keep this forever, or this is how I feel right now. Too much damage will be done to DH and son. I know they would be better off knowing the truth, my acts were that ugly but it will tear them apart.

Now home and settling back to “Normal” I find myself thinking of DH and AP and with the successor of my head always being DH. I know he is the perfect man and I am living in a fantasy bubble.

 

 

That is your prerogative. However if your marriage is the best it has ever been 5,10,15 years from now and your affair from this time is uncovered, every bit of progress you have made will be a lie to your DH.

 

I once read a story where a 75 year old man discovered his wife had an affair when they were in their 20's. He divorced her at 75. All those years they spent together were a lie to him after her affair. Could this happen to you? [shrug shoulders] maybe.

[SoulStorm]

I see now how hurtful my post is to the members here, posting was a selfish act, I wanted comfort and advice about my situation with little regard of those here who have suffered.

.

 

But you never apologize for it..you feel sorry only for you

[Mr. Lucky]

So with that alcohol needs to go for the foreseeable future also. I have embarked so many times on a quest to straighten myself out only to fall the minute I had a drink.

 

I wonder if alcohol and its effect on your life is another thing you're not honest with yourself about? How many of your get-togethers with AP have involved or revolved around alcohol? How many episodes of bad judgement while under the influence?

 

Has your H ever told you he was worried about your drinking and partying? If only he knew...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Noirek]

But you never apologize for it..you feel sorry only for you

 

She has every right to post here and no need to apologize for posting her story and feelings on her own thread. She hasn't attacked anyone. Anyone can choose not to read a thread that is obviously started by a WS if they feel the would be injured, triggered, offended.

[SoulStorm]

She has every right to post here and no need to apologize for posting her story and feelings on her own thread. She hasn't attacked anyone. Anyone can choose not to read a thread that is obviously started by a WS if they feel the would be injured, triggered, offended.

 

Look momma bear, Nowhere in my post did I say she attacked anyone or could not post here. Keep your attacks to youself

[Noirek]

Look momma bear, Nowhere in my post did I say she attacked anyone or could not post here. Keep your attacks to youself

 

How was my post an attack? It was in defense to your attack. You did after all call me "mamma bear"

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Giraffe2014 View Post

I see now how hurtful my post is to the members here, posting was a selfish act, I wanted comfort and advice about my situation with little regard of those here who have suffered.

.

YouBut you never apologize for it..you feel sorry only for you

 

If you must know I believe the OPs tone was apologetic. The message is there but you felt the need to attack even that quote and point out how she didn't apologize and therefore only feels sorry for herself. The only person she needs to apologize to is her husband. Not you and not me. I stand by my defense of your attack.

Edited March 29, 2015 by Noirek

[SoulStorm]

How was my post an attack? It was in defense to your attack. You did after all call me "mamma bear"

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Giraffe2014 View Post

I see now how hurtful my post is to the members here, posting was a selfish act, I wanted comfort and advice about my situation with little regard of those here who have suffered.

.

YouBut you never apologize for it..you feel sorry only for you

 

If you must know I believe the OPs tone was apologetic. The message is there but you felt the need to attack even that quote and point out how she didn't apologize and therefore only feels sorry for herself. The only person she needs to apologize to is her husband. Not you and not me. I stand by my defense of your attack.

You have your opinion and I have mine....and I stand by my post as well

[itmustbeme]

Unless I am uncovered, I will never confess, even when I do move jobs I will keep this forever, or this is how I feel right now. Too much damage will be done to DH and son. I know they would be better off knowing the truth, my acts were that ugly but it will tear them apart.

Now home and settling back to “Normal” I find myself thinking of DH and AP and with the successor of my head always being DH. I know he is the perfect man and I am living in a fantasy bubble.

 

There is no doubt in my mind that you will be having Sex with the OM again. Everybody on here was certain you would on the trip and you did. I am not trying to make you feel bad but you do not love your husband. You are in love with yourself and only you.

 

Wow it is hard reading all of this. I have to wonder about your husband I find it hard to justify your description of him. You say he is better looking and a much better man than the OM but he must not be. If he were those things and a good man you would not disrespect him like you are. Laying down and having sex with a person like the OM who is having sex with many women and doing drugs could end up very bad for your husband.

 

Maybe your husband is a crappy man who does not deserve any honesty and also if he gets sick or a STD then so be it. The only thing that you could do worse would be to get pregnant by the OM and pass it off as your husbands child. Make him support and pay for the OM's child then his humiliation would be complete.

 

I think you really need to look inside yourself to see why you would treat a good man like this. Only you can decide why you would treat him like this.

 

You could just divorce him and go and bang the OM all you want. Wouldn't that be great? Or if you are single you could go out and have sex with all of the men you want. Have a more exciting life that is full of fun and not have to come home to a dud like your husband.

 

You are not a bad person because you want to have sex with other men. Your husband is just a dud for you. He might not be a dud for some other woman. Some other woman might cherish him and just want to have sex with only him. You should be able to go out and have your fun as a single woman. What you shouldn't do is pretend that you love your husband.

 

Let him go and start living your life of excitement. Don't stay married to him and laughing at him with the OM behind his back. Gosh it is sad anyone would treat a decent man like you are treating him.

 

Again go be single and let your husband go.

[merrmeade]

Thanks or the comments, in particular "herenorthere". It takes time and thought to comment so I appreciate them all. My apologies for not being on here for a few days but I've been working and partying very hard.

AP has basically moved into my room since Monday. Today I have been filled with so much regret, remorse, stronger than ever before. Because he's in my personal space so much it's cemented to me how we are worlds apart, how horrible that I am and what I've done to my DH. So I told him this today and he took it well. Said he knew this week would happen but had no interest in taking it back home.

That's it basically. We are done. I am so done and so sorry I ever did this

Ewwwww, wha-a-a-a-a-a...t?

 

Honey, you're not nearly as sorry as I am for having taken you seriously enough to post anything on this thread. I would be embarrassed except that many others have continued to float in and out, I realize now, to get the next hilarious episode or contradiction out of your mouth.

 

I think I get it now and see absolutely no redeeming features of this thread or you - except, like s/b said - worse than bad fiction. I get it now. This is all for YOUR entertainment. Perhaps, you release a little less pressure from your conscience for having thrown a few disingenuous apologies and mea culpas here and there but mostly - 100% convinced of this - you were building sexual tension within yourself with the pulp fiction suspense - Will she or won't she? - about the trip.

 

Way to go, girl. You got SO many good people to follow, thinking you really wanted to be talked out of it. Nope. That was part of it. We helped you build that tension, made it all the more fun, risky, naughty and irresistible, right? You had all of us watching and all the people on your trip watching AND flattering you. Cheap thrills. Well, we're just as thick in it as you, like voyeurs, watching and waiting.

 

I feel sick.

[Giraffe2014]

I’ve pushed this as far as I’m willing to push this. I am worried sick now about potential STI’s and if I effect my DH.

Last week was wild, in my crazy head I had myself counselled that this affair would stop before or after the trip. I have no desire to keep this up. I don’t want to hide, lie, sneak around anymore.

I need to get those tests done ASAP. I believed AP that he didn’t sleep around (Bigger fool me) asked him to promise this a few times but last week and to be honest past office gossip has told me otherwise, stories I refused to believe.

Soulstorm, you are so right, an affair is an affair regardless of when you learn about this. Right now I don’t want to tell him, who knows in a few weeks or months my feeling may change around this once the affair is truly in the past I could feel such strong remorse that I can no longer carry it. For now, I don’t think a confession is right for any of us.

Mr Lucky, since this started I have been a party animal, drinking a lot. This did prompt a lot of suspicion and questions, this is when DH started to doubt me, I had to reel that in and scale back in Jan, around the time everything cooled off. He is an intelligent man and probably still has a niggling suspicion. This is why the drinking must stop.

Noirek, thank you for all your posts, and to that main point, I never intended to hurt anyone here. And if I did, I absolutely apologize.

Itmustbeme-very fair comments. I have always told the truth in my posts here and to that point a lot of what I have said and actually done have been contradictory so the proof will be in way I live my life going forward, and what steps I take to rectify my actions. And I will continue to post, lots of people have posted, taken the time to give me a virtually dig and kick up the butt, and ya know what, this has all helped me and I am very grateful to you guys. Letting my husband would in many respects be the kindest thing to do. I am hoping I can fix this and don’t have to do that. Make of that what you like. (And I mean that in the greatest of respect to you)

Merrmeade-No, I can see how you would see it that way, but no, I don’t get off stringing along a bunch of good willed strangers. Absolutely not.

[fellini]

I think this is rather unfair and harsh outside of the issues of her incessant infidelity.

 

She didn't make ANYONE do anything here.

 

And if you take an honest look at the previous 19 plus pages, you will have to agree that many of these "good people" were getting a lot of entertainment value at her expense. A Lot.

 

You can debate this point, but you would have to use some pretty selective reading to do so.

 

If you could tell she wasn't really going to make it through thee trip, then really all you can say is she lived up to your expectations.

 

Why that makes you ill, and why she should feel responsible for your response to her life story isn't clear.

 

 

Ewwwww, wha-a-a-a-a-a...t?

 

Honey, you're not nearly as sorry as I am for having taken you seriously enough to post anything on this thread. I would be embarrassed except that many others have continued to float in and out, I realize now, to get the next hilarious episode or contradiction out of your mouth.

 

I think I get it now and see absolutely no redeeming features of this thread or you - except, like s/b said - worse than bad fiction. I get it now. This is all for YOUR entertainment. Perhaps, you release a little less pressure from your conscience for having thrown a few disingenuous apologies and mea culpas here and there but mostly - 100% convinced of this - you were building sexual tension within yourself with the pulp fiction suspense - Will she or won't she? - about the trip.

 

Way to go, girl. You got SO many good people to follow, thinking you really wanted to be talked out of it. Nope. That was part of it. We helped you build that tension, made it all the more fun, risky, naughty and irresistible, right? You had all of us watching and all the people on your trip watching AND flattering you. Cheap thrills. Well, we're just as thick in it as you, like voyeurs, watching and waiting.

 

I feel sick.

[SoulStorm]

I’ve pushed this as far as I’m willing to push this. I am worried sick now about potential STI’s and if I effect my DH.

Last week was wild, in my crazy head I had myself counselled that this affair would stop before or after the trip. I have no desire to keep this up. I don’t want to hide, lie, sneak around anymore.

I need to get those tests done ASAP. I believed AP that he didn’t sleep around (Bigger fool me) asked him to promise this a few times but last week and to be honest past office gossip has told me otherwise, stories I refused to believe.

Soulstorm, you are so right, an affair is an affair regardless of when you learn about this. Right now I don’t want to tell him, who knows in a few weeks or months my feeling may change around this once the affair is truly in the past I could feel such strong remorse that I can no longer carry it. For now, I don’t think a confession is right for any of us.

Mr Lucky, since this started I have been a party animal, drinking a lot. This did prompt a lot of suspicion and questions, this is when DH started to doubt me, I had to reel that in and scale back in Jan, around the time everything cooled off. He is an intelligent man and probably still has a niggling suspicion. This is why the drinking must stop.

Noirek, thank you for all your posts, and to that main point, I never intended to hurt anyone here. And if I did, I absolutely apologize.

Itmustbeme-very fair comments. I have always told the truth in my posts here and to that point a lot of what I have said and actually done have been contradictory so the proof will be in way I live my life going forward, and what steps I take to rectify my actions. And I will continue to post, lots of people have posted, taken the time to give me a virtually dig and kick up the butt, and ya know what, this has all helped me and I am very grateful to you guys. Letting my husband would in many respects be the kindest thing to do. I am hoping I can fix this and don’t have to do that. Make of that what you like. (And I mean that in the greatest of respect to you)

Merrmeade-No, I can see how you would see it that way, but no, I don’t get off stringing along a bunch of good willed strangers. Absolutely not.

 

If you do this right, you could be a good example for other posters who come here in the same situation as you are right now.

 

I've been hard on you for good reason....you have the ability to do the right thing, you just need the courage to do it.

If your husband finds this out on his own, your chances to reconcile decrease dramatically.

The time is now...each day you keep this a secret adds a nail to the lid on your marriage coffin.

 

He (husband) is an intelligent guy...he wants to believe you are being his good wife. He's being a good husband to you right? He and your son deserve the same.

[fellini]

At the same time you just posted a day ago or so about a guy who discover at 75, an infidelity from 50 years Prior.

 

That's about 18250 nails in the coffin before its nailed shut. She believes if she tells tomorrow, it's over tomorrow.

 

Sure that guy at 75 suddenly said his 50 years were a lie, but were they really? Most great marriages don't last 15 years.

 

Sometimes a cliche is just a cliche.

 

 

If you do this right, you could be a good example for other posters who come here in the same situation as you are right now.

 

I've been hard on you for good reason....you have the ability to do the right thing, you just need the courage to do it.

If your husband finds this out on his own, your chances to reconcile decrease dramatically.

The time is now...each day you keep this a secret adds a nail to the lid on your marriage coffin.

 

He (husband) is an intelligent guy...he wants to believe you are being his good wife. He's being a good husband to you right? He and your son deserve the same.

Edited March 29, 2015 by fellini

[itmustbeme]

I’ve pushed this as far as I’m willing to push this. I am worried sick now about potential STI’s and if I effect my DH.

Last week was wild, in my crazy head I had myself counselled that this affair would stop before or after the trip. I have no desire to keep this up. I don’t want to hide, lie, sneak around anymore.

I need to get those tests done ASAP. I believed AP that he didn’t sleep around (Bigger fool me) asked him to promise this a few times but last week and to be honest past office gossip has told me otherwise, stories I refused to believe.

 

Well you asked the OM to promise he was not sleeping around and he lied. I am not shocked but I must add he is not married. Now that you are upset he was sleeping around I guess the irony is very thick since imagine what your husband is living through. His wife who he took vows with is sleeping with other men putting his health at risk.

 

I still don't understand why you just don't dump your husband? Like I said he may be a dud for you but not for someone else. What you are doing does make you a bad person. If you would tell him what you have been up to and try and fix your marriage that would at least make you an honorable person.

 

Why not just divorce your husband and be single and continue your life style? If you want other men that is Ok you live like a single person and go have a variety of partners. Then you don't sneak around you can party or meet new men and live the excitement you desire.

 

And then you show your husband some love by letting him find what he deserves.

 

You seem to be hooked on sex with the OM. I am going to ask a guy thing but does he have a much bigger Penis than your husband? Is that the draw or are his bedroom skills just much better than your husband?

[SoulStorm]

At the same time you just posted a day ago or so about a guy who discover at 75, an infidelity from 50 years Prior.

 

That's about 18250 nails in the coffin before its nailed shut. She believes if she tells tomorrow, it's over tomorrow.

 

Sure that guy at 75 suddenly said his 50 years were a lie, but were they really? Most great marriages don't last 15 years.

 

Sometimes a cliche is just a cliche.

 

Obviously to him they were since he discovered it 50 years later. Could it have survived if she confessed? who knows, maybe. That can't be ascertained now. She could have been the model wife afterwards, but that dark cloud of infidelity followed her the whole while. It never dissipated until it was discovered.

[troubadour]

I find it absolutely amazing that people are still willing to post in this thread. They know they are wasting their time but they still keep on posting.

[Darren Steez]

I’ve pushed this as far as I’m willing to push this. I am worried sick now about potential STI’s and if I effect my DH.

Last week was wild, in my crazy head I had myself counselled that this affair would stop before or after the trip. I have no desire to keep this up. I don’t want to hide, lie, sneak around anymore.

I need to get those tests done ASAP. I believed AP that he didn’t sleep around (Bigger fool me) asked him to promise this a few times but last week and to be honest past office gossip has told me otherwise, stories I refused to believe.

Soulstorm, you are so right, an affair is an affair regardless of when you learn about this. Right now I don’t want to tell him, who knows in a few weeks or months my feeling may change around this once the affair is truly in the past I could feel such strong remorse that I can no longer carry it. For now, I don’t think a confession is right for any of us.

Mr Lucky, since this started I have been a party animal, drinking a lot. This did prompt a lot of suspicion and questions, this is when DH started to doubt me, I had to reel that in and scale back in Jan, around the time everything cooled off. He is an intelligent man and probably still has a niggling suspicion. This is why the drinking must stop.

Noirek, thank you for all your posts, and to that main point, I never intended to hurt anyone here. And if I did, I absolutely apologize.

Itmustbeme-very fair comments. I have always told the truth in my posts here and to that point a lot of what I have said and actually done have been contradictory so the proof will be in way I live my life going forward, and what steps I take to rectify my actions. And I will continue to post, lots of people have posted, taken the time to give me a virtually dig and kick up the butt, and ya know what, this has all helped me and I am very grateful to you guys. Letting my husband would in many respects be the kindest thing to do. I am hoping I can fix this and don’t have to do that. Make of that what you like. (And I mean that in the greatest of respect to you)

Merrmeade-No, I can see how you would see it that way, but no, I don’t get off stringing along a bunch of good willed strangers. Absolutely not.

Of course you don't

[Giraffe2014]

Soulstorm – I need to do this right! It is with my greatest intent to do so. If I could fast forward my life 3 months to see what would life would be life would be great. I cant do that anymore than rewind it to decide not to start this in the first place. Yes, he’s nothing but good my DH. He is the best husband and father a woman could ask for.

My closest girlfriend (2 of them have been with me throughout this all) said its hard to stand by and let me of all people allow a guy like him treat me in such a way. Betrayal of husband is one thing she said but to let someone treat you with such disregard over and over is questionable beyond belief.

Itmustbeme – I don’t want a divorce. I have always been more sociable than DH. This hasn’t been an issue for either of us, him happy to allow me to party more has never been a problem. Then I overstepped the mark and changed in more way than one.

This was never truly about the sex, yes it was good with AP, as is with DH. Very different.

[merrmeade]

I think this is rather unfair and harsh outside of the issues of her incessant infidelity.

 

She didn't make ANYONE do anything here.

 

And if you take an honest look at the previous 19 plus pages, you will have to agree that many of these "good people" were getting a lot of entertainment value at her expense. A Lot.

 

You can debate this point, but you would have to use some pretty selective reading to do so.

 

If you could tell she wasn't really going to make it through the trip, then really all you can say is she lived up to your expectations.

 

Why that makes you ill, and why she should feel responsible for your response to her life story isn't clear.

Okay, okay. I might have exaggerated just a tad with the accusations of manipulation and, no, I don't think it was conscious and I was probably amused more than ill.

 

I'd better stop right here. The twists and turns of this thread throw my imagination into overtime, conjuring up hysterical, absurd images — half-naked bombshell working from multiple scripts, alternately calling for life raft, pouting as alligator ignores her, kicks life raft away; oggling rescuers try to save her watching, horrified, as she disappears, giggling, into alligator's mouth but quickly regroup, offering food/clothing/succor as she reappears tipsy, mixing up lines from alligator-party script...

 

Sorry. I just don't believe she really wants help. I'll stop.

[harrybrown]

So shouldn't you let your H find out about how it can be different?

 

Why don't you give him approval and set him up with one of your friends for an A? Or would this bother you that your H had an A, lied about it, cheated on you

 

and does not respect you? Because you sure do not respect of love your H and still do this to him.

 

Of course your H can't compete with the thrill of cheating on him and usually you being more fun with the AP?

are you as wild with your H as your are with the AP? Your H should not have to compete with anyone, because you made vows to him. Should you have to compete with others for your H's love?

 

That is what you are doing in making him compete with a fantasy that does not have to work to pay bills.

 

But when someone does tell him, because you have not been careful, how wonderful was your fantasy? please tell your son.

Edited March 29, 2015 by harrybrown
edit

[I_Give_Up67]

Soulstorm – I need to do this right! It is with my greatest intent to do so. If I could fast forward my life 3 months to see what would life would be life would be great. I cant do that anymore than rewind it to decide not to start this in the first place. Yes, he’s nothing but good my DH. He is the best husband and father a woman could ask for.

My closest girlfriend (2 of them have been with me throughout this all) said its hard to stand by and let me of all people allow a guy like him treat me in such a way. Betrayal of husband is one thing she said but to let someone treat you with such disregard over and over is questionable beyond belief.

Itmustbeme – I don’t want a divorce. I have always been more sociable than DH. This hasn’t been an issue for either of us, him happy to allow me to party more has never been a problem. Then I overstepped the mark and changed in more way than one.

This was never truly about the sex, yes it was good with AP, as is with DH. Very different.

 

 

This is the ultimate disrespect of your BH!

 

You've actually disclosed the A to people in your social circle? Make no mistake, he will find out with or without you disclosing the A to him. You are one catfight away from him learning the truth. If your friends know about your A, then chances are their SO probably know about it as well. Are any of these friends ever in the presence of your BH socially? If so how can you live with yourself knowing that they must be looking at him like an idiot sucker? Learning the he was the last to find out will be the ultimate slap in the face for your BH when he finds out.

 

Your M is sitting on a stick of Dynamite and you've lit the fuse! When it blows up, you will find yourself with an EX-DH, hopefully for his sake. This really is all about YOU and your AP, BH is not even considered important enough for any concern by your 2 best friends!?!?

[itmustbeme]

Soulstorm – Yes, he’s nothing but good my DH. He is the best husband and father a woman could ask for.

 

My closest girlfriend (2 of them have been with me throughout this all) said its hard to stand by and let me of all people allow a guy like him treat me in such a way. Betrayal of husband is one thing she said but to let someone treat you with such disregard over and over is questionable beyond belief.

Itmustbeme – I don’t want a divorce. I have always been more sociable than DH. This hasn’t been an issue for either of us, him happy to allow me to party more has never been a problem. Then I overstepped the mark and changed in more way than one.

This was never truly about the sex, yes it was good with AP, as is with DH. Very different.

 

So your friends think it is horrible for the OM to treat you bad but are okay with you doing it to your husband? Then you need new friends. Do you even listen to what you are saying? If you were not screwing the other man he wouldn't be in your life. Can you imagine how you would feel if your husband was screwing another woman and he got upset because the other woman was not treating him well.

 

I am sure that you don't want to divorce. You have a man at home that will pay the bills if somebody else gets you pregnant. Takes away your consequences for what you were doing to him. Why divorce when you can still sleep with other guys and have him pay for it if it comes to that.

 

You say it's not about the sex but you continue to have sex with him. I Am guessing the OM is better endowed and you don't want to give it up.

 

You really need to divorce your husband.