What have you learnt from your A?

[MissTake]

I learned how very lonely I was, and how willing I was to push aside things that bothered me because of it. I also learned in the long run it only made me even more lonely.

[Eagle's-bargain]

What did I learn?

 

Nothing that hasn't been already written or felt.

 

I play just what I feel

Drink Scotch whiskey all night long

And die behind the wheel

They got a name for the winners in the world

And I want a name when I lose

 

It doesn't matter what I learned or didn't.

I FELT something, it was real, to me! And it mattered.

That's why I don't do the same again with another MW.

It was too much the first time for me.

 

The only thing I kept out of the whole A, or learned to keep, was my life and a sneer on my face.

I used to think I was a good guy who went bad.

I was neither. I was just a man who made a bad choice.

 

I had no children, no wife.

I felt like the cleanest man on earth--

Unparalleled levels of love going out to the WS/MW.

I had nothing other than total worship for someone who I thought would hold my hand as an equal in life.

Her being married meant nothing when she came to me!

 

And then the believers begin to speak, and they use such foolish words, to defend such foolish feelings.

 

The sneer endured.

[cocorico]

And I don't mean general stuff... I mean what have you learnt about the essence of who you are and why you ended up where you did?

 

 

I knew before the A that I was emotionally unavailable and did not want the demands of a FTR. But the A helped me to see that I could change that if I wanted. And, for the right person, I chose to.

[jbp005]

To never have an affair again! That if a man wants you, then he will take action to make the relationship happen. To care about myself too much then to sell myself short by "sharing" someone else's man.

 

Just my .2

 

Lee

 

I was a single OM, and I feel the same way. I think the lesson is if someone desires a life with you they will take the steps to make it happen.

[Josmatjes]

I learned that I'm capable of things I never thought I could do.

I learned that I can be selfish.

I learned that I am broken and unhappy.

I learned that I need to believe in myself and I'm worth it.

I learned that I became a person that I don't want to be.

I learned that I'm capable of true closeness and connection and emotions with another person.

I learned I'm too closed off and I need to be more open in my marriage.

I learned just because we want something doesn't mean we should have it or that it's healthy for us!

I learned what I want and what I don't want!!