I just got broken up with in a voice mail! We had "the talk" 3 days ago! WTF?!

[shamen]

Get this. 3 days ago I had "the talk" with the guy that I've been seeing for about a month and a half. Tells me that he's not sleeping with anyone else and I reiterated this on my end.

 

So, today, a day that we had planned on getting together, I get a voice mail from him that says, "I can't see you anymore because I just don't like you very much." WTF? He didn't even have the f*cking decency to talk to me personally on the phone!

 

Christ, I'm 35 years old. I'm not in friggin' high school. I can't believe that someone would be so f*cking callous!

[bebegal]

[font=times new roman][color=indigo]what a jerk. U are better off iwthout him. Anyone who can leave that on your voicemail

 

Can you imagine if you two were married..? YUck

 

You WILL find someone better

 

Start NC NOW[/color][/font]

[simon_uk]

Thats the worst thing I have ever heard! Cheeky fuc*er you dont need that! Forget him, he is a loser!

[tiki]

He's acting like he's a porn star or something.

 

 

Sorry, hadta.

[shamen]

I still can't believe that he friggin' did that! I mean, why would someone do that? Guys are completely f*ucked up!!!!!

 

It may be one of the most callous things that anyone has ever done to me in my entire life...

[shamen]

Originally posted by tiki

He's acting like he's a porn star or something.

 

Sorry, hadta.

 

I know, I know, Tiki. Figured that someone was going to say something about this. To be honest though, I didn't think that this was even an issue at this point.

 

The thing that gets me is the hanging out a couple times a week for the last month and a half, making plans with me for today even... What an a$$!

 

I am so pissed!

[tiki]

So you guys have been dating for a month???

 

Man, how weird. Atleast you found this out sooner and not later, but that's just weird.

[shamen]

Originally posted by tiki

So you guys have been dating for a month???

 

Man, how weird. Atleast you found this out sooner and not later, but that's just weird.

 

It's been over a month... about a month and a half now. We've been talking on the phone and communicating via email since the beginning of February too, before we even got together for our 2nd date (the first one was back in August and we emailed a bunch back then too).

 

I agree. Glad that I found out now, but it is too weird. It's funny... He told me on when I saw him a few days ago that he's not very nice and I thought, "What a weird thing to say." Also, that he once broke up with a girl in a mixed CD that he made for her. I thought that that was f*cked up too, but I just ignored it really, thinking that it must have been something that he did when he was younger.

 

Now it means a lot more since he did this voice mail sh** to me!

[beejsea2]

Count your blessings that this was not a long term relationship. I was with my ex for 4 1/2 years we talked of marriage the entire nine yards. Almost six months ago while I was gone for the weekend due to work..he packed a U-Haul and left me...all I was left with was a note..saying that he cared for me but didn't love me. A week before this he had called me at work telling me he loved me and about how he was going to paint the hallway etc.

 

I say any man or woman that can't tell you face to face that they're leaving lacks integrity and are worthless people. The only way I can see someone sneaking off is if there is a violent relationship etc. I'm still kicking myself because I never in a billion years thought he's end the relationship in this kind of manner!

[tiki]

So are you just gonna leave it at that? Man, I'd need closure.

 

He broke up with her in a CD? What a grade A weirdo.

[tiki]

Originally posted by beejsea2

Count your blessings that this was not a long term relationship. I was with my ex for 4 1/2 years we talked of marriage the entire nine yards. Almost six months ago while I was gone for the weekend due to work..he packed a U-Haul and left me...all I was left with was a note..saying that he cared for me but didn't love me. A week before this he had called me at work telling me he loved me and about how he was going to paint the hallway etc.

 

I know a man that left his wife (of like 50 years) a Dear John letter while she was out to the zoo with their daughter and grandchild. He's old as hell too.

[LucreziaBorgia]

That is brutal. But... at least you have no doubts, and won't make the mistake of trying to 'figure out what is going on' or 'trying to work it out'. You know without a doubt that he saved you from trying to hold on to someone who isn't worth your time to hold on to. It was a harsh way to do it, though.

[shamen]

Originally posted by beejsea2

Count your blessings that this was not a long term relationship.

 

I say any man or woman that can't tell you face to face that they're leaving lacks integrity and are worthless people. The only way I can see someone sneaking off is if there is a violent relationship etc. I'm still kicking myself because I never in a billion years thought he's end the relationship in this kind of manner!

 

No sh**! I'm seriously glad that it wasn't a long term relationship... F*ck, if you can do this to someone, WHO ARE YOU? It's so MEAN! I don't even know what to say about what kind of person he is... I'm seriously stunned, nor would I ever do this to anyone.

 

 

Tiki,

 

I sent him an email asking him what happened... I would really like some closure on this. Don't know if I'll get it. Guess I'll just have to wait and see. Thank god for therapy tomorrow!

 

Christ, I got out of a relationship (4 years) at the beginning of January. Talk about trust issues that I'll have after this.

 

Yeah, the breaking up with someone in a CD is pretty messed up! Again, I just thought it was something that he did when he was young. Maybe he just likes being f*cking mean to women, or something...

[shamen]

Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia

That is brutal. But... at least you have no doubts, and won't make the mistake of trying to 'figure out what is going on' or 'trying to work it out'. You know without a doubt that he saved you from trying to hold on to someone who isn't worth your time to hold on to. It was a harsh way to do it, though.

 

Absolutely brutal. Good word, LucreziaBorgia. You're right, no doubts in my mind.

 

The thing that really sucks is I was finally just starting to be able to let down some barriers around him. Just beginning to trust him. Should've known better...

[tokyo]

So sorry.... What an immature idiot!!!!!!!

 

I'm left speechless.... I can't believe what people are capable of doing....

[tiki]

Oh God, I had this one dude mind f*ck me one time. We had dated for three months and broke up. He gave me no closure. And I dumped HIM!!!! But he was a total game player, and I was messed up for a while, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. He had something OBVIOUSLY wrong with him, I began to realize I was the only one playing with a full deck in this game.

 

Don't let it eat you alive if he doesn't answer or give you a sufficient one. Just write him off as a weirdo.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I get a voice mail from him that says, "I can't see you anymore because I just don't like you very much."

I would really like some closure on this.

I sent him an email asking him what happened...

 

I hope that he doesn't get really mean and reiterate his reason for breaking up in even meaner terms. Do you think there is more to "I just don't like you very much"? He broke up with you in a way that suggests to me that he not only doesn't like you, but doesn't even have enough concern to break up with you to your face. Cold. What would you hope for him to say in closure?

[simon_uk]

sounds like a god damn mother fu*king freak to me and your well shut of him! Its hard not to take it personally but he is the one with the problem and only helps to give us decent geezers a bad name!

[tokyo]

I can't understand how someone is capable to break up with you, saying: "I don't like you very much." How is this possible??? Even some stupid line about incompatibility would be better than telling someone to his face that you don't like him.

[shamen]

Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia

I hope that he doesn't get really mean and reiterate his reason for breaking up in even meaner terms. Do you think there is more to "I just don't like you very much"? He broke up with you in a way that suggests to me that he not only doesn't like you, but doesn't even have enough concern to break up with you to your face. Cold. What would you hope for him to say in closure?

 

Good points, LucreziaBorgia. I don't know what I would expect him to say in closure... but why would you hang out with someone for even that long (a month and a half) if you don't like someone? It just doesn't compute with me. He was going to make me dinner tonight, for f*ck's sake!

 

I thought that we were getting along great. Good conversations and all that good stuff. WTF?

 

 

Tiki,

 

It's not going to eat me alive if I don't hear back from him. I'm just more stunned than anything else. You're right, writing him off as a weirdo is going to have to be the way to go. I guess the biggest question that I have now, like you said, is what the hell is wrong with me? I know that I'm a good person. I've never in my whole life had someone tell me that they just didn't LIKE me as a reason to stop seeing me.

 

Why am I so pissed????!!!!!

[shamen]

Originally posted by simon_uk

sounds like a god damn mother fu*king freak to me and your well shut of him! Its hard not to take it personally but he is the one with the problem and only helps to give us decent geezers a bad name!

 

Thanks, Simon_uk. I'm going to work on not taking this personally. Maybe it has something to do with his age... he's 10 years younger than I am. You're also right in that he does give decent geezers a bad name. I don't think that I'll be dating anyone anytime soon!

 

 

Kooky,

 

The thing is that he didn't even tell it to my face. He did it in a voice mail... I agree, incompatability would make a lot more sense as a thing to say.

 

He said, "I've been thinking about this a lot. Basically I can't see you anymore because I just don't like you very much." Oh, the best part is, he added, "Have fun," to the end of the phone call. F*cking lovely.

 

What? Did he get freaked out by the fact that we talked about the fact that we're not sleeping with anyone else or something? What makes the whole thing worse is that we just had this conversation 3 days ago!

[tokyo]

Originally posted by shamen

Why am I so pissed????!!!!!

Because he has been treating you like crap!!!!!!

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally posted by shamen

Good points, LucreziaBorgia. I don't know what I would expect him to say in closure... but why would you hang out with someone for even that long (a month and a half) if you don't like someone? It just doesn't compute with me. He was going to make me dinner tonight, for f*ck's sake!

 

I thought that we were getting along great. Good conversations and all that good stuff. WTF?

 

 

That's your key phrase. He may have been stringing you along to see where it was going, and when he decided he didn't want in he dropped it with nary a thought. That charming, wonderful friendly guy probably isn't a large part of who he really is, and the that guy who did the cold hearted phone dump reflects more on him than anything leading up to it.

 

I've been in his shoes before - I expect for him it basically is a matter of deciding that you don't like someone, and you want out with a minimum of contact or emotional hassle. Not to say you are a 'hassle', but after a 'big talk' he may have decided a brutal clean break would have him in the clear quicker than a long drawn out 'lets talk about this' breakup.

 

He could have been a bit more tactful about it, though. That's for sure.

[lovelylady]

I am so sorry shamen....

 

What a real F*cker!!!! It makes me really angry for you!!

 

Clearly the guy has no conscience. You really just have to let it go and chalk it up to one very bad experience - definitely NOT the norm. I'm sure it's left a TERRIBLE taste in your mouth (f*cking jerk-off) and you just need to LET IT GO. I understand wanting closure - but I'm not sure you should even look for (or expect) closure from a guy like this. Who needs closure from an ASS*H*LE - those are guys you just let go of - he's clearly not capable of doing something kind for you emotionally.

 

I don't understand people who are so INCREDIBLY heartless. It makes me wonder what everyday life is like for them. It certainly can't be very fulfilling or feel good. you know what? - feel sorry for him. Empty people live empty lives.

[shamen]

Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia

That's your key phrase. He may have been stringing you along to see where it was going, and when he decided he didn't want in he dropped it with nary a thought. That charming, wonderful friendly guy probably isn't a large part of who he really is, and the that guy who did the cold hearted phone dump reflects more on him than anything leading up to it.

 

I've been in his shoes before - I expect for him it basically is a matter of deciding that you don't like someone, and you want out with a minimum of contact or emotional hassle. Not to say you are a 'hassle', but after a 'big talk' he may have decided a brutal clean break would have him in the clear quicker than a long drawn out 'lets talk about this' breakup.

 

He could have been a bit more tactful about it, though. That's for sure.

 

Stringing me along to see where it was going. Nice. If he didn't like me, he shouldn't have kept seeing me from the beginning. Not make me wait over two months to find out he thinks that I'm a schmuck. It's sad, I did think that he was the charming wonderful guy. It makes me sad that he's turned out to be the cold hearted phone dump guy that he is.

 

You've been in his shoes? There wasn't a big talk exactly, we just discussed the fact that we weren't sleeping with anyone else. Brutal clean break to follow it up. Said sarcastically in my imagination by him, "Yep, I'll have a dose of get closer with this girl just to tell her to f*ck off 3 days later, please."

 

Yes, indeed, he could have been a lot more tactful about it, f*cker. (I will eventually stop saying that, sorry.)

 

 

Lovelylady,

 

You're right, maybe he just has no conscience. I'm not expecting any closure, or response to my email. I'm half tempted to send another saying, "Forget that I sent you that last email. I don't care what you think."

 

Maybe he is just empty. I don't know. Life can't be right for him in his head if he does this to people.