can't get over someone that wasn't mine to begin with

[symphonyofwolves]

i loved this guy instantly. it was an instant attraction from our first kiss. but he is just a good kisser that is all. he never truly loved me back. he was never over his ex. he slept with her while he was seeing me. i stayed around because we were never officially together anyway. he told me he loved me but i didn't say it back when he first told me because as much as i did love him, i just couldn't believe that he really loved me the way i loved him. by the time i was ready to say it to him, he told me he didn't want a relationship anymore. he started drinking a lot and smoking a bunch of weed and ****. he even picked up cigarettes! after he told me in the very beginning that smoking and drinking makes him think of his ex. but he went and did it anyway. it's like he likes to torture himself with thoughts of her or something. but i'm the same way. i like to torture myself of thoughts of him with her or other girls (bc he talks to other women too) just to make myself miserable. it's the only time i feel alive really. he takes me to extreme jealousy and pain and pleasure when it's good no matter what. i love how he makes me feel alive, but he hurts me so much. way more than making me feel good. if i went and said all the other baggage he has, most people would tell me to just leave his ass alone. but i can't give him up.

 

we went a little over a month with no contact recently. he texted me all random a couple days ago telling me he missed me. of course i responded and told him i missed him too. but we just texted back and forth a little bit. nothing serious and i haven't heard from him since. i miss him so freaking much. i just want us to be together so bad. i can't let him go and i am struggling really bad get over him and move on. there is no one i want more than him. i gave him everything. i just don't understand how he could try to act like he is over his ex but he keeps her around. they **** each other on each other's birthdays and buy each other **** for christmas. but they won't be together. and she gets jealous that he has me in his life. i just don't understand at all.

 

i want him all to myself. we used to talk about moving away together, but now i know that will never happen. he will never love me like i love him, and it just hurts. i just wish i could get some help with getting over him. i don't want this to take 4 years to get over him like it did with the last guy i loved who didn't love me. i just don't have that kinda time anymore. i don't want to be sad. i even quit my job because of this *******. i'm just a complete and total mess right now. can somebody help me?

 

how do i win him back for good or make him fall {back} in love with me?

[LoverOfDance]

Please leave this guy alone. He has a dysfunctional relationship with his ex. He can't let her go just like you can't let him go. Please stop torturing yourself because of him and stop wasting your life on him! You have so many good things ahead of you to look forward to. Let him go.

 

I know exactly what it feels like to love someone who doesn't love you back. That's all I've ever know - unrequited love. Believe me, I know what it feels like. But it's ok. There are other things in life that you can find happiness in - like something you're passionate about for example. Don't put your happiness in his hands. Don't put your happiness in anybody's hands.

 

And please like I said before, don't waste anymore time on him. I think you'll regret it later. Please move on. And I wish you all the best.

[rob1990]

Leave this guy, for your own good. If it keeps on like this, you'll end up hurting yourself even more.

First of all, he's not worthy of you, cause he still is close to his ex, meets up with her, has sex, etc.. Why would you want a person that changes you like some item?

I think you won't have taht much trust for him if by any chance you'll ever get back together.

Secondly and mostly important: break up with him, and don't contact him at all, no matter how bad you want to do it. Find a hobby (maybe you were always wanting to play that guitar but didn't had time to? Or maybe you were itching to try out photography? ) be occupied, meet with friends, go to social events, just don't be alone.

 

Why not try to bring him back? Simple. Cause it won't work. Broke up with my gf cause she was cheating on me, and what do you know? With her ex. If a person cheats and clings to the past, such relationship won't last. As for me - wanted to save the situation, even forgave her, but it repeated again, so I let go of her. The same I suggest to you.

 

Let go of him, and move on! You are a loyal woman, and you deserve a good, caring man right next to you.

 

Good luck!