She returned contact...not sure

[Pixel_Hugs]

You are misunderstanding what I'm trying to tell you.

 

This is very new with you two. You broke it off with her. You start messaging her and she replies to be polite. There's no hidden message there.

 

We cannot tell you with 100% certainty that she absolutely texted you back because she wants you. We can only give you our opinions which many have.

 

If it were me I would prefer to hear from you (on the phone not through a text message or some video). I would like to hear that you feel as though you made a mistake and you would like another shot.

 

You're making this far too difficult. It doesn't need to be.

 

Thank you. That is precisely the kind of response I would have wanted and appreciated in the first place. I appreciate the clarification.

 

I am trying not to appear like I am making way to big a deal out of this. I am not. I just wanted a little advise, that is all but the threads get out of control.

I am not here to try and prevent anyone from doing anything and I know it's NOT a reconciliation.

 

Thank you again

Edited March 4, 2015 by Pixel_Hugs

[AprilTears]

Thank you. That is precisely the kind of response I would have wanted and appreciated in the first place. I appreciate the clarification.

 

I am trying not to appear like I am making way to big a deal out of this. I am not. I just wanted a little advise, that is all but the threads get out of control.

 

Thank you again

 

I think the issue with those responding is that you were given advice but kept asking the same questions.

 

You will always receive differing opinions/advice. It's up to you to decide the best choice for your situation.

 

 

Now go for what you want and let us know what happens!

 

Good luck!

[Pixel_Hugs]

I just would like a second chance at getting to know someone. I think I said that. She responded to a text. I wanted to know what this might mean and if it is a little window of opportunity. If so, how to react with out blowing it.

 

Maybe I am not that great at writing in an articulate way to get my meaning across in the way it in intended.

[AprilTears]

I just would like a second chance at getting to know someone. I think I said that. She responded to a text. I wanted to know what this might mean and if it is a little window of opportunity. If so, how to react with out blowing it.

 

Maybe I am not that great at writing in an articulate way to get my meaning across in the way it in intended.

 

I think we get it now.

 

Go for it!! If she ignored your text I would tell you otherwise.

[Pixel_Hugs]

I think the issue with those responding is that you were given advice but kept asking the same questions.

 

You will always receive differing opinions/advice. It's up to you to decide the best choice for your situation.

 

 

Now go for what you want and let us know what happens!

 

Good luck!

 

I wasn't asking the same question. At first only half my concerns were addressed and then I wanted to suggest there can be a different way of looking at it.

 

In your case it was. If you didn't want anything to do with me then you probably would not have responded at all. There would not have been any politeness. Many women would agree with that and it has been in my experience to be the case. I personally may not give the politeness. I would just not respond.

[Pixel_Hugs]

I don't know. In the short time I've been here I've gotten a lot of great advise and a lot of differing/opposite advise. It's not always split down the middle but still.

 

I also think it all depends on the personal experiences each and every person has had.

 

There is no need to come to her defense. This is about me. I am not bothering her or preventing her from doing anything she wants to do or forcing her to

do anything she doesn't want to do. I reached out twice in over two weeks.

 

Some people gave me the advise to sit on it and wait. Give her space and time to sort her feelings out about everything then reach out. That is what I did.

Edited March 4, 2015 by Pixel_Hugs

[rester]

OK. If you tell her to her face (or in a phone conversation) that you A. Are sorry B. Miss her and C. Want to try again, then you know for certain that she got the message. Then if she says yes, great. If she says no, you have your answer. I know it's not your intention to "play games" but when you are expecting people to interpret things rather than coming out and saying them, that's kind of what you're doing.

 

Be direct. Then either you move forward or you move on. Either way, you know for sure what's going on.

 

^^^^ this.

 

 

 

I just would like a second chance at getting to know someone. I think I said that. She responded to a text. I wanted to know what this might mean and if it is a little window of opportunity. If so, how to react with out blowing it.

 

Maybe I am not that great at writing in an articulate way to get my meaning across in the way it in intended.

 

Did you say that to her, or to us? I think it'd be a reasonable thing to say to her and then ask her out again. If she says no, you have your answer.

[Simon Phoenix]

I still would like your thoughts on her responding to me. I haven't heard that from you.

 

Is it wrong to say that the very fact that responded at all might be her expressing interest in some way ?

 

Not necessarily. She could be bored, she could be feeling nice, she could be just being polite. She might like you as a person but isn't attracted to you. There are tons of reasons.

 

Honestly, I think you have to stop trying to be cute and just be direct since you apparently can't just let her decide on her own what she wants. The video was way, way too cute. The text message was way, way too passive-aggressive. Stop beating around the bush. If you want to go out with her again, ask her out properly. If she says yes, then just have a good time without making an elaborate production out of it. If she says no, avoids the question, or doesn't respond at all, then chalk it up as a loss, brush yourself off, and move forward.

 

I realize it's tempting to want to be cute and funny, but leave that to the actual date if you get an actual date. Women are more attracted to strength and assertiveness than they are to games. So, since you've opened up this particular Pandora's Box, take a swing, champ. But if you miss, go back to the dugout with your head held high. Don't hover.

[quattrob]

Like what Simon said, I don't understand why you're overthinking and overanalyzing everything. You pretty much have decided or at least leaning towards asking her out again. So just do it. Be assertive and confident in it. Why think about the outcome or if it's a good idea or not? If it works it works and if it doesn't then it doesn't.

 

 

Girls don't like guys who overthink and analyze everything. They want someone that can make decisions and if the decision he makes is a bad one, he should be fine with it because he knows what he wants.

 

 

All these cutesy thing you're doing only works on teenage girls, save that for when she's actually into you and likes you.

[Pixel_Hugs]

apparently can't just let her decide on her own.

 

I always appreciate the advise but when something like the above is added it just irritates me.

 

I really don't know what this means. I am not preventing her from doing anything. I am not trying to change her mind or make her decision for her.

 

I am not nagging her or forcing myself on her at all by any means.

I think in a lot of ways some responses are reading into this way to much.

I sent a girl a text. She responded. What my next play. That's it.

 

And Passive Aggressive? Passive Aggressive is an indirect act of hostility through stubborness. I don't see how my text was PA.

 

It was a text. No motives other then wanting to open the lines of communication and to make a girl laugh. That's it. I wasn't being clever or cute or trying to manipulate someone or force myself on someone. I did not realize(or agree) that a text message would be read into so much.

 

I really do appreciate all the good feedback and whether in agreement or not thanks to all that took part. I appreciate your time.

[Pixel_Hugs]

Like what Simon said, I don't understand why you're overthinking and overanalyzing everything. You pretty much have decided or at least leaning towards asking her out again. So just do it. Be assertive and confident in it. Why think about the outcome or if it's a good idea or not? If it works it works and if it doesn't then it doesn't.

 

Girls don't like guys who overthink and analyze everything. They want someone that can make decisions and if the decision he makes is a bad one, he should be fine with it because he knows what he wants.

 

All these cutesy thing you're doing only works on teenage girls, save that for when she's actually into you and likes you.

 

It's funny because just because I am here doesn't mean I am over thinking. Am I analyzing the fact that she responded to a text, yes but not losing sleep over it and should it be a big deal? I came on here for a reason. I just wanted to know if it means she might still have interest. Lost a differences in opinion about that. You can say stop analyzing to 90% of the threads here. That's why people come here. I thought of something. I wasn't sure, so I asked a community. Not too much to it other then that.

[quattrob]

If you weren't overanalyzing would you repeatedly ask questions one after another? It's like you're asking us to BE you and make your decisions for you. Just look at your other thread that you started. And now this one. You can ask for advice and thoughts, and we gave you them.

 

 

It's fine that you don't want to agree, just remember not everyone will say the things you want to hear. Just like not everyone's going to accept and agree with our advices.

[Pixel_Hugs]

If you weren't overanalyzing would you repeatedly ask questions one after another? It's like you're asking us to BE you and make your decisions for you. Just look at your other thread that you started. And now this one. You can ask for advice and thoughts, and we gave you them.

 

 

It's fine that you don't want to agree, just remember not everyone will say the things you want to hear. Just like not everyone's going to accept and agree with our advices.

 

 

I asked two questions. One I repeated because it wasn't addressed. I asked a third in response to someones feedback. That's all. Three questions. Two from my original post and a third one. All the rest were just responses either in agreement or disagreement and also thanking people for responded.

 

I don't know where your getting "repeatedly asking questions one after the other" That is a mistake.

 

I ask for the opinion of others on the subject because I was to be more certain that If I do call that I can feel confident I am making the right decision. I don't want to embarrasse myself. I do fear rejection and want to feel confident about my decision so I'm trying to get feedback. I think that sometimes on these forums things get read into and blown way out of proportion by those taking part in it and it is not by the OP. It takes on a mind of it's own.

 

I'm defending myself here instead of addressing my real concerns.

It was a text message.....

Edited March 4, 2015 by Pixel_Hugs

[rester]

I think you have two viable options: 1) Call her and apologize for breaking it off and see if she wants to go out with you again, or 2) do nothing.

 

The cute stuff is only going to confuse her right now and the responses you get will confuse yourself. Don't try to analyze her response because it could mean anything.

[Simon Phoenix]

Dude, none of this is meant to be personal so stop taking it as such. When you ask for advice, you are going to get angles that you didn't consider, an outside perspective that you wouldn't have known about otherwise. Is that the point of getting advice, to get input that otherwise you wouldn't have gotten? So relax.

 

I'm sure you don't mean the text message to be manipulative. But that's how it can be perceived. At the very least, it's passive. Usually the solution is the simplest -- just ask her out. No production, no elaborate lead-up, no hinting -- just ask. Simple. If she says yes, then you can be cute and funny on the date if you choose. But cute text messages can be construed in ways you don't want them to be construed and her answering text messages doesn't mean anything except that she answered a text message. If you want to find out if she's interested, ask her on a date. And chill out.

[Simon Phoenix]

I think you have two viable options: 1) Call her and apologize for breaking it off and see if she wants to go out with you again, or 2) do nothing.

 

The cute stuff is only going to confuse her right now and the responses you get will confuse yourself. Don't try to analyze her response because it could mean anything.

 

He already apologized in the video so I don't necessarily think he needs to do it again. I do agree that those are his two options though. No more tiptoeing around.

[Cedar27]

I'd say enough with the texting, it's impersonal and short. I prefer phone calls but that's me.

 

Quit spinning your wheels and analyzing, just ask her out again.

Edited March 5, 2015 by Cedar27

[privategal]

As a female I think it is good u got a response from text.

If you call be lighthearted and don't apologize per se...let her know sometimes you have to take a step back to realize the big picture and during the time away you realized she's a great girl and you don't want to let the opportunity to get to know eachother slip away and ask her for a drink. Apologizing just makes it seem like your groveling when u didn't do anything THAT bad...just be polite...let her know she's been in your thoughts and ask her if she's in the same page and open to dating and getting to know eachother better.

I wish u the best and understand your frustration.