ChelseaM Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 so long story short my boyfriend of a few years is very close with his mother, in my opinion more so than a normal relationship between a guy in his mid twenties and his mother. his dad wasn't around growing up she raised him all by herself so naturally they have a close relationship but I just think it's odd that they are so close. I mean they live together they hang out, play video games they play fight and it weirds me out. to be honest I get jealous a lot because I feel like I have to compete with her for his attention. sometimes I get a jealous vibe as well like she will try to distract him if he's paying attention to me. I brought it up but it usually turns into a fight and then I feel like a weirdo. am I overreacting or at what point does a man cut the cord between himself and his mother what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I don't know the situation so I can't say you're over reacting but I will tell you that if you try to come between anyone & their family, you will never win. Either accept this relationship as is -- mom comes 1st -- or get out. But don't think you are going to change the balance / order of priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Honestly wouldn't that be a good thing for a woman to see that he's close with his Mom? I mean if she's giving off vibes that she doesn't like you than I could understand though. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 so long story short my boyfriend of a few years is very close with his mother, in my opinion more so than a normal relationship between a guy in his mid twenties and his mother. his dad wasn't around growing up she raised him all by herself so naturally they have a close relationship but I just think it's odd that they are so close. I mean they live together they hang out, play video games they play fight and it weirds me out. to be honest I get jealous a lot because I feel like I have to compete with her for his attention. sometimes I get a jealous vibe as well like she will try to distract him if he's paying attention to me. I brought it up but it usually turns into a fight and then I feel like a weirdo. am I overreacting or at what point does a man cut the cord between himself and his mother what should I do? You're already at a disadvantage. He shuts you down when you tell him you think his relationship with his mother is weird. I see nothing here that commends this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
badpenny Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Sorry: This is a no brainer. She was the first woman in his life, and she always will be. Any resentment on your part, any jealousy, anger or frustration will only serve to make her more right, more present and more dominant in his life. This is a fight you won't ever get the upper hand in. You'll lose the battle, and forget even thinking about the war. You? Over his mother? It's not going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I've heard the quote that you can always tell what kind of husband a man will be by how he treats his mother. It sounds like they are close, they probably went through hell and back by the sounds of his childhood. Unless it is weird to the point of being........um..........."more" than just a mother/son relationship, then I would bail for sure. But a guy in his mid 20s close to his mom isn't a bad thing. Although you don't need the apron strings at that age anymore either. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 His mother is messed up because she can't grow the f up and find a man to share her life with. Instead she is acting like a college kid, holding her son back, and not letting him grow up and have his own life. Breakup with him and find a man that has a normal relationship with his mother. I know someone that was in competition with his GF's son. They were so close the kid pretty much called the shots....my friend was dumped two weeks before their wedding because the kid didn't like the whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I actually think it's a red flag that he puts his mom before you. If it was a new relationship, I could understand. After a few years of being together, I would have expected you to become the most important person in his life. He should be on his way to thinking about getting engaged and making you his closest family member. I doubt the issue will ever go away if it hasn't by now. Even if he marries you, this will continue. You need to decide if it's something you can live with or if you'd rather cut ties with him. Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Seems like you have yourself a "Norman Bates" on your hands. If you feel you aren't getting the attention that you preciously give out, then maybe you should rethink the situation. Don't think the mother is going to vanish anytime soon. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If it were me this would be a deal breaker. That's why they call it dating, if it doesn't feel right you can end it and meet someone else that does feel right. Please don't sit around hoping this will change and get better......you'd be wastin your time. Link to post Share on other sites
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