Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 I haven't really updated my situation because for some reason I wasn't needing to but I want everyone to know, who's been through my whole situation, that I'm doing better then ever... As you guys may or may not know I finally left my bf (the young one ) and I can honestly say I am content with the decision I made... I'm now pursuing my feelings for someone who has been in my life for 10 years and has always had a special place in my heart. He's a great person, friend, lover and even partner. I truly feel, Lozano, is my soul mate. He feels what I feel, he thinks what I think, he wants what I want, he craves what I crave, he loves the way I love, he smells the way I want a man to smell, he kisses me the way I need to be kissed, he holds me the way I need to be held, and the surprising part of all of this is that we haven't even made love...it's not sex with him its more then that!!! With him it's so passionate and saying I love you to him is so cliche...He says "when a woman tells me she needs me...its more meaningful than her telling me she loves me"....Without even question him, I looked into his eyes and told him..."I need you"!! I've never wanted anybody the way I want him.. When he's not around, I feel what he's thinking and when he's going to call...When he touches me I can feel his the warmth of his hands up and down my body as he caresses me...I get tingly inside when he kisses me and for about a week now I've had butterflies in my stomach and the funny part of all of this...I knew all along he was the one for me...Thats why when he came around this time I had to do something about it...I never thought he would return the love...bigger then any other expectation in my life... You know what 's funny, I've blabbed on and really haven't said anything...That's how f*cked up my head is and how much "in" love I am...Wow, this is what it feels like...FINALLY I FOUND HIM!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Good for you. Go for it girl!! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever and the surprising part of all of this is that we haven't even made love... I find the above stmt hard to believe. Can you plz elaborate on why you have not had sex in 10 years? Is he married or gay or suffers from erectile dysfunction? Whaz up wiz zat?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 Can you plz elaborate on why you have not had sex in 10 years? Because we've been FRIENDS!!!! Always had interest but we were both with other people.... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever Because we've been FRIENDS!!!! There is a reason why u 2 have only been Friends for 10 yrs NSN. You may find Lozano to be quite different a person once you become romantically involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 Alpha...You have no idea what you're talking about!! I've been romantically with him but never had sex theirs a difference...It just wasn't the right time for us to be together and now for the first time we are both available to show our true feelings to each other...He's always been into me and I've always been into him...He makes me want to be a better person!! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 NSN.... You seem to go from one intense entanglement to another relatively rapidly....have you thought of this, at all. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever I've been romantically with him but never had sex theirs a difference Sorry NSN, but once you f*** someone everything changes. Most will agree with this. ...It just wasn't the right time for us to be together and now for the first time we are both available to show our true feelings to each other...He's always been into me and I've always been into him...He makes me want to be a better person!! So if these mutual feelings were so strong for a decade between you two why did not you leave your respective lovers and hook up like 7 or 8 yrs ago, or even 5 yrs ago? Explain that NSN. Personally I think you are going to ruin a good friendship here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 We aren't rushing...I don't even plan on being intimate with him for a while, I'm facing this with caution and taking this sloowwww!! He knows I have a lot of healing to do and he said he's willing to wait and heal with him...I just know one thing...this is where I belong!! I've never been more sure about anything like a am sure of him in my life Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 You know what...this is why I didn't want to say anything from the beginning...NO WILL EVER UNDERSTAND AND i DON'T EXPECT YOU GUYS TOO....I WAS SIMPLY EXPRESSING SOMETHING IN MY HEART AND NOW YOU GUYS ARE BASHING ME FOR IT....F*CK IT...YOU WANT TO LIVE LIFE KNOWING "WHAT IF" GO AHEAD BUT I'M NOT...THIS IS THE WAY I FEEL AND I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH CHOICE IN THE PAST BUT TO BE HIS FRIEND...I WOULDN'T LET MYSELF FALL FOR HIM TO SOON.....ALPHA GET OFF OF IT...NOTHING YOU SAY WILL CHANGE MY MIND....!!! LATER I'M OUT Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 NSN, This is nothing related to the discussion going on this thread. But it is great that you feel so happy with Lozano. I have a sudden urge to say something to you but I am afraid that you wont like that, but I would have presented reasons (quotes from your posts only) also. But I am pretty sure that neither you would like it nor the others would like it (those who had given wise suggestions to you). I wanted to convince myself before writing these lines to you so I just read all your post again. Anyway it doesnt matter, I dont want ppl here to swear at me, but I have always hold my views against popular feelings if I was able to convince myself that what I am thinking is correct.Earlier I had the courage to speak but today I dont have the courage to stand alone Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 That was a long post just to say nothing, Greenhorn. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Wow I didn't think I was bashing, I was just asking a question. Oh well. Good luck, hun... Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 I don't see anything wrong with what she's experiencing. I don't see any major expectations that would warrant concern. I don't see a problem with her taking a chance with someone she's known for such a long time. Sometimes the timing isn't right and people need to grow before they're ready to have a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 B_O it wasn't to you...don't take it that way please.. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky That was a long post just to say nothing, Greenhorn. Pls dont think that it was personal to anyone but I just couldn't keep it inside me and I phrased my post thrice before posting it. Other times I won't have said anything, but these days I just can't control myself on few topics that have become so sensitive to me. If it was not proper then pls 'mark it off' Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 I guess what I was trying to say in my post was that sometimes it is worth the wait...Their is someone out there to love you and cherish you and care for you the way you feel you should be loved and taken care of... For a long time I thought no one in this world could understand me and challenge my mind the way I like to be challenged...I'm a Gemini and I believe a lot in the zodiac signs and I believe in who ever is meant for you...will be with you... I have never been happier and more complete and I just wanted to share my sunshine with others to give some hope...I believe in hope and dreams again...Thats all Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever ALPHA GET OFF OF IT...NOTHING YOU SAY WILL CHANGE MY MIND....!!! LATER I'M OUT jeez....don't be so sensitive NSN. I was just playing devils advocate to give you another point of view. SHeesh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 I know Alpha...but this means a lot to me...and if you didn't get that impression from my post I 'm sorry for snapping...I tired of being judged and all I wanted was for some insight not questioning my motives... I understand what you're trying to say but we've talked about allllll the possibilities and what we came up with was...THIS FEELING WILL NEVER GO AWAY, I HASN'T FOR TEN YEARS AND NEVER WILL!!! Sorry for bashing just a very sensitive topic for me.... Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 I understand NSN.... What others were trying to say "probably" was that you went from one extreme to another. You went from I love my bf so much he's the best to I left him and Found my soul mate. But I have been in your situation before and so i know where you are coming from. You were fine in your life. You thought you were content and happy..yet you always felt that there was something missing but you couldn't put your finger on it. Your bf was madly in love with you and you were happy. Then Lozano comes along and f*cks your world up. You realize what you have been missing. So then you are stuck making a choice. You start thinking about Lozano day and night, and you realize you cannot see him anymore and that you do not want to hurt your bf so you CONVINCE yourself that you dont have feelings for Lozano that you BF is the best in this world (hence that other post you made) and that you have to cut contact with Lozano in order to make your relationship work. When one day it hits you. Lozano was what has been missing from your life. You realized your bf was madly in love with you and you were happy but you were not IN love with him. Thats what was missing and you found yourself falling in love with Lozano. Which I think you always have been since you have known him for 10 Years but you guys could never have anything due to obstacles. So anyways..I think Im pretty much on it right NSN? ? I'm glad for you that you found happiness at last. Hold on to it..but I agree that you should take things verrryyy sloooow..You do have healing to go through. One step at a time. Im happy that he is willing to wait on the sexual and take things slow while you heal. Shows a lot. Good luck NSN! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 When one day it hits you. Lozano was what has been missing from your life. You realized your bf was madly in love with you and you were happy but you were not IN love with him. Thats what was missing and you found yourself falling in love with Lozano. Which I think you always have been since you have known him for 10 Years but you guys could never have anything due to obstacles. Thank you EC, I guess I have another person that understands me... !! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by EC I understand NSN.... What others were trying to say "probably" was that you went from one extreme to another. You went from I love my bf so much he's the best to I left him and Found my soul mate. Yup, EC is right. I was a little confused reading this post like, huh? I thought she just broke up with her BF that she was madly in love with?? So I was a little confused. I mean, I have feelings for my friend, but I never let myself fall for anyone intensely. I hold that part of myself away from people in all cases. It's important to protect yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 I thought she just broke up with her BF that she was madly in love with?? So I was a little confused. I mean, I have feelings for my friend, but I never let myself fall for anyone intensely. I did...for that reason, I realized I wasn't being completely fulfilled...I felt he loved me more than I loved him and he deserves better... I thought about how much I loved my ex...but it wasn't enough to stay with him!! I had to let him go because the feeling I get when Lozano walks in the room was not normal behavior for someone who supposedly is in love with someone else...get me...maybe Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 There isn't a deed in this world which can't be justified ? If you think there is, tell me and I would justify it . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 There isn't a deed in this world which can't be justified ? If you think there is tell me and I would justify it . ????????? Link to post Share on other sites
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