In so deep...it feels good!!

[moimeme]

Who among us is worthy of being the judge and jury?

 

All of you who beat up on the people who tried to tell her that she was headed for trouble. However, it seems that only your little gang are entitled to 'judge' others.

 

As for being 23, Pocky, you must be far from it now. 23 isn't that young. People marry, have kids, own houses at that age these days. If you ask me, this person is not as mature as most of her peers. People were only pointing out to her that it's unlikely that one is madly in love if it happens twice in two months, for which they were attacked viciously. Sure, you can make mistakes. And others will try to prevent you from making them out of care and concern, which is what the other posters were doing.

 

This, "armchair psychologist", is a polite request from someone who unfortunately had to have some anxious re-experiencing of traumas because you so kindly referred to my sexual traumas with no real knowledge of how to approach that kind of issue

 

Otter, I did NOT refer to your traumas. You yourself have said you have hangups and discussed them extensively for all the world to see. I mentioned one of them.

[Illusion24]

Originally posted by NeverSayNever

I'm so glad I wrote this post...Not because of what's been stirred up but because this is what life's all about...

 

YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN....YOU MAKE MISTAKES AND YOU LEARN...!!!

 

Feels good to be human. I will not go on anymore and rant about anything but I will say to those who felt offended or attacked, MY BAD...Those weren't my intentions!!!!!!!

[EC]

OMG people!!! She is a confused 23 year old trying to figure what the f*ck love is???

 

Now please if you have it ALL figured out then by all means please let the rest of us that are trying to figure it out and making mistakes along the way know what it is so that we do not have to go through this torture.

 

She is not married to either one of them..They are not on freaking life support without her...I just think she is confused and trying to figure out her emotions. Yeah she said some things and then took them back and then said them again but so what? That all has to do with figuring out her emotions and what she wants. Her problem is that she is posting her every single thought without thinking everything through first. Leaving her having to take back things she figured out she didnt mean.

 

Anyways though..I think you all are taking this way too seriously. Shes only 23 and shes not our president. Shes only human and will probably keep on breaking hearts and making mistakes and thinking shes in love and then no in love until she finds 'the one'.

[Pocky]

Originally posted by moimeme

As for being 23, Pocky, you must be far from it now.

 

I think this just got dirty! Moi! Show some mercy. And I just celebrated another birthday - nice timing.

 

23 isn't that young. People marry, have kids, own houses at that age these days. If you ask me, this person is not as mature as most of her peers.

 

They may marry and have kids, but that doesn't mean they're mature. Twenty-three is young and most this age act the same way. Having a kid and house doesn't mean they're advanced in their years. And I think she is doing fairly well in other aspects of her life - like a house and a job.

 

People were only pointing out to her that it's unlikely that one is madly in love if it happens twice in two months, for which they were attacked viciously. Sure, you can make mistakes. And others will try to prevent you from making them out of care and concern, which is what the other posters were doing.

 

I don't know - there were many posts that had nothing close to concern, but were intended to tell her what an awful person she was, how ignorant about love she was and intended to insult her. Really - calling him Lasagne when his name is Lozano is not showing concern.

 

Some mistakes need to be made.

[moimeme]

Some mistakes need to be made.

 

And LSers can, by dint of their AGE and wisdom try to caution people like her on how to NOT make 'em. Yes, some will blunder ahead anyway, as she did, but others sometimes do listen and choose wiser courses of action. Which really is the point of LS in many ways, no?

[EC]

And LSers can, by dint of their AGE and wisdom try to caution people like her on how to NOT make 'em. Yes, some will blunder ahead anyway, as she did, but others sometimes do listen and choose wiser courses of action. Which really is the point of LS in many ways, no?

 

I don't think she can learn listening. She's more of a 'hands on' student.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by EC

She is not married to either one of them..They are not on freaking life support without her...I just think she is confused and trying to figure out her emotions. Yeah she said some things and then took them back and then said them again but so what? That all has to do with figuring out her emotions and what she wants. Her problem is that she is posting her every single thought without thinking everything through first. Leaving her having to take back things she figured out she didnt mean.

 

And we wonder why so many guys / girls can't make sense out of the behavior of their exes? The exes' going back and forth is highly confusing to anyone in such a situation. To her ex, to herself and to the readers of her posts on LS.

Imagine her ex-bf posting on a similar site, trying to make sense out of her behavior. That would be hard, would not it? The best thing that he could do, is to resolve upon a course he is not yet ready to. And that would be NC. Because every bit of contact she makes with her ex-bf, will give him hope; hope she probably does not want to feed him, but gives to him anyways.

 

EC, I could call you retarded. And take it back a few moments later, but you would not think the same of me, would you? Of course not. The same is happening with NSN and a few other posters. So what does NSN gain from this? Nothing but embitterment, and she will have to make the mistakes she is bound to make. And then she would wonder if love is nothing but a cynical past-time, as some of the critical / provocative posters would have been proven right, against all the desperate believe in her "true love of Lozano."

 

I am sorry, life does not work that way; at 23 you should know to at least control your verbal responses and know that you can't take your words back at the drop of a hat. That is not only true of NSN though.

[EC]

And we wonder why so many guys / girls can't make sense out of the behavior of their exes? The exes' going back and forth is highly confusing to anyone in such a situation. To her ex, to herself and to the readers of her posts on LS.

Imagine her ex-bf posting on a similar site, trying to make sense out of her behavior. That would be hard, would not it? The best thing that he could do, is to resolve upon a course he is not yet ready to. And that would be NC. Because every bit of contact she makes with her ex-bf, will give him hope; hope she probably does not want to feed him, but gives to him anyways.

 

How is she supposed to figure out what she is feeling if not by contacting him? Just sit in her bed and not call him or see him until she has it all figured out? She needs to see him, hang out with him, talk to him in order to know exactly what she is feeling. If he gets hope then he gets hope. Thats his problem. He should know already that she is shifty.

 

I am sorry, life does not work that way; at 23 you should know to at least control your verbal responses and know that you can't take your words back at the drop of a hat. That is not only true of NSN though.

 

Why because she is not holding her tongue? Life does not work that way? What ..life has rules and guidelines now that you must follow in order for it to 'work out correctly?"

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by EC

How is she supposed to figure out what she is feeling if not by contacting him? Just sit in her bed and not call him or see him until she has it all figured out? She needs to see him, hang out with him, talk to him in order to know exactly what she is feeling. If he gets hope then he gets hope. Thats his problem. He should know already that she is shifty.

 

That is his problem? Nonsense. That is their problem. He will suffer because of her problem, not knowing what she wants, and take it gracefully with the free confusion that comes with that? EternallyConfused, do you really think that anyone would be happy to be in such a position? Of course not.

Should he become cynical then, and never trust a woman who even shows the signs of confusion? Or even better, to grow over NSN, so by the time she has made up her mind, does not want her anymore, leaving her with a broken heart behind, not understanding how detrimental her own shiftiness has been for chances on a proper relationship with her ex-bf?

 

Her character is not his problem alone. Most of all, it is her character. And if it does not work out with her ex-bf, he is done with her. But she is not done with herself. And then she must recover herself again. When you are half-hanging around a person you are interested in, you simply don't recover.

 

Why because she is not holding her tongue? Life does not work that way? What ..life has rules and guidelines now that you must follow in order for it to 'work out correctly?"

 

I could call you retarded. And a few posts later retract my statement. Does that cancel out what I would have said? Of course not. So by behaving in such a way, you would view me in a different light would not you? That is the whole point of insulting a person. It's non-retractable.

[Pocky]

Originally posted by moimeme

And LSers can, by dint of their AGE and wisdom try to caution people like her on how to NOT make 'em. Yes, some will blunder ahead anyway, as she did, but others sometimes do listen and choose wiser courses of action. Which really is the point of LS in many ways, no?

 

Sometimes, but then the process taken often leads to wisdom. Eliminate the process and it's possible you eliminate the option to learn. She could have restrained herself, not fallen head over heels into something so new, taken the more mature route and in the end she'd be able to say that she didn't lose her head and act like a twenty-three year old. You know what she gets so say now? "Damn! I was a fool for love - been there got the T-Shirt, won't do that again."

 

Personally, I like the self-inflicted epiphany much better than the wisdom through osmosis method.

[blind_otter]

I wish sometimes we could all just accept that different people are different. You get along with some, not with others. The best thing to do, if you don't get along with someone and don't HAVE to be around them, is to stop interacting with them. That's what the IGNORE list is for. That is what No Contact is for...

 

Some of us are wishy-washy and indecisive. We take a long time coming to grips with things we should be more direct about. Life is a long series of falling off the horse and getting back on it.

 

You can't live your life worrying about how each and every decision you make will affect other people. You can have consideration, in general, but if you sit and ponder every single angle - you become ineffectual. Paralyzed by your own analyzing. Sitting at home wondering at every move you make.

 

Someone counseled me recently in risk-taking. That fearful leap of faith - when you don't KNOW what lies within that gap between where you are and where you want to be. SOmetimes you mis-judge and fall all over the place into the muck. Sometimes it's a great success...what can you do, but make that leap sometimes?

[Illusion24]

You know I keep reading on and on about how OTHERS think I should live my life and make certain decisions because THEY think it's the right thing to do. For those of you who feel better about saying these things without really knowing me are very critical and tell me a lot about each one of your peronsality.

 

I'm 23 years old, yes wtf does that have to do with anything? I understand at my age some people marry, that's their choice, I understand some people have kids at my age, but that's their choice, I understand some people don 't make the mistakes I make at my age but...It's their life not mine!

 

 

 

If she can be appreciative of it then. Which I doubt, as she may have grown a bit cynical of love. You can burn yourself a couple of times, but the wounds become part of your body, and masy never disappear. Perhaps with plastic surgery, but that is an artificial method.

 

 

 

Who says I'm not appreciative?? Why do you judge me so?? I am not a bit cynical of love I'm just redefining the meaning and analyzing where I went wrong and IF I even did something wrong. I have wounds I have to heal, and so does he, but you're taking it way out of line.

 

 

But then it is the way she is, and she would not need support either way, as she already has decided on her course.

 

How am I??? Please since you know me sooo well.

 

How is living MY life and making MY own decision and taking my course of action so wrong?? We all learn from different experiences and take whatever it is we want from them. My life is pretty darn good and I do have a good head on my shoulders...So my love life is in the s*** whole, what is the big deal???!!! I have my own business, my own house, my own bills that I pay, and beautiful people surrounding me. But because ONE aspect of my life is not in order I'm a 23 year old who doesn't' have a clue about life??

 

Come on, judge me if you knew me don't judge me because I broke a man's heart and decided to leave him instead of hiding behind is back because of feelings I felt for someone else. I did this on my own time and decided I couldn't live life wondering "What If". I made my mistake and Gosh Damit I learned from them..f***ing shoot me for being human and feeling

[westernxer]

Originally posted by NeverSayNever

Come on, judge me if you knew me don't judge me because I broke a man's heart and decided to leave him instead of hiding behind is back because of feelings I felt for someone else. I did this on my own time and decided I couldn't live life wondering "What If". I made my mistake and Gosh Damit I learned from them..f***ing shoot me for being human and feeling

 

NSN, it's obvious you've touched a nerve that is very sensitive for most of the folks on here. I think you should feel privileged to have a post that generates so much debate. It's amazing...

 

How does it feel to be the poster child for all this discussion? You're just an archetype, so sit back and enjoy the ride, and don't take it personal.

[Illusion24]

EXACTLY, Opinions!!!! So why the "she's 23 doesn't know what life is", or I go into attack mode!! Yes, I completely understand everyone has their own opinions and way's of doing things. But why am I getting bashed for being honest about how I feel WHEN I feel it. I never expected this much anguish and argguments from what I was feeling. I thought that's what this place is for. But of course once again I learn that you simply just can't post your every thought and every single situation in your life because then everyone will throw it in your face as if you're a horrible person and don't know what the f*** you're talking about.

 

I've recieved a lot of grief for nothing, in MHO! It's not what you say, it's how you say it, well in this case how you phrase your statements. Giving an opinion and feeling attacked are totally two different things. If opinions were given to me, I would consider them...If I was being attacked, I'm going to attack..Who wouldn't?

[EC]

quote:Originally posted by NeverSayNever

Come on, judge me if you knew me don't judge me because I broke a man's heart and decided to leave him instead of hiding behind is back because of feelings I felt for someone else. I did this on my own time and decided I couldn't live life wondering "What If". I made my mistake and Gosh Damit I learned from them..f***ing shoot me for being human and feeling

 

 

 

NSN, it's obvious you've touched a nerve that is very sensitive for most of the folks on here. I think you should feel privileged to have a post that generates so much debate. It's amazing...

 

How does it feel to be the poster child for all this discussion? You're just an archetype, so sit back and enjoy the ride, and don't take it personal.

 

 

NSN this isn't even about you anymore..it's like a battle of LSers. Sure they are using your name in there and examples of your life..But they are not talking about you anymore.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by NeverSayNever

If she can be appreciative of it then. Which I doubt, as she may have grown a bit cynical of love. You can burn yourself a couple of times, but the wounds become part of your body, and masy never disappear. Perhaps with plastic surgery, but that is an artificial method.

Who says I'm not appreciative?? Why do you judge me so?? I am not a bit cynical of love I'm just redefining the meaning and analyzing where I went wrong and IF I even did something wrong. I have wounds I have to heal, and so does he, but you're taking it way out of line.

I did not say so. If you can't read English, which is probably your first language properly, a discussion is futile. Yes, I dared to say, that this was not the wisest course you could take. And I hope (again READ and don't go into defensive mode), you will be appreciative of love when you find it. With such a temperamental reaction, however, I do doubt if you will find what you are looking for. That is an estimate, not a given.

 

But then it is the way she is, and she would not need support either way, as she already has decided on her course.

How am I??? Please since you know me sooo well.

 

You are set on your course, and if anyone dares to offer a different view you bash the posters in question. Call the course rollercoaster ride if you want. You desperately want to believe that your course is the best one you could have decided on.

You seek for validation for your choices you have made. Some people might actually feel that these were poor choices. Again, if you don't agree with that, and want people responding to your posts, who blindly worship you and the choices you make in life, please state so. Then by all means ask so, and I would refrain from posting, as I am not interested in doing that.

 

Come on, judge me if you knew me don't judge me because I broke a man's heart and decided to leave him instead of hiding behind is back because of feelings I felt for someone else. I did this on my own time and decided I couldn't live life wondering "What If". I made my mistake and Gosh Damit I learned from them..f***ing shoot me for being human and feeling.

I don't judge you because you broke a man's heart. But I do judge on the way you seem to appear to treat people, both in real life and on the forums. Everybody does.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

I don't judge you because you broke a man's heart. But I do judge on the way you seem to appear to treat people, both in real life and on the forums. Everybody does.

 

Then frikkin judge every other poster who acted like an ass and made personal attacks on people. I don't need to name names, but honestly. Why pick on her, when there are at least a dozen examples of exactly the same behavior?

[Illusion24]

don't judge you because you broke a man's heart. But I do judge on the way you seem to appear to treat people, both in real life and on the forums. Everybody does.

 

In real life? Maybe on the forums and this beautiful place called LS but in real life you have no idea what I do and who I am.

 

I NEVER said I want to hear what I want to hear and that I don't want others opinions. I do take into consideration everything everyone tells me.

 

If you can't read English, which is probably your first language properly, a discussion is futile

 

This isn't this uncalled for ^

 

I do doubt if you will find what you are looking for.

 

Way to harsh!

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by blind_otter

Then frikkin judge every other poster who acted like an ass and made personal attacks on people. I don't need to name names, but honestly. Why pick on her, when there are at least a dozen examples of exactly the same behavior?

Simply because I got entangled in her posts, and the situations they described? A lot of posters made personal attacks, in my opinion. Why are you so shy naming them yourself? Occasionally they have wandered to your threads. Why should I dedicate my attention to misplaced humour?

 

Originally posted by NeverSayNever

In real life? Maybe on the forums and this beautiful place called LS but in real life you have no idea what I do and who I am.

With "real life" I meant how you describe the persons and the interactions with persons around you (not on the internet, but in real life) on these forums. Yes, even your words can give a lot of clues on how you treat the people in real life. Ever heard of forensic psychology? With "on these forums", I referred to the actual posters on these forums.

 

Formally English is only my third language, so yes, I do occasionaly misphrase myself. I am not in a put it as eloquently as you can class so every poster knows what I mean without thinking for him/herself. But if you keep reading in my concerns a personal attack, so be it.

[moimeme]

Sure way to cause yourself grief: get upset about what a bunch of strangers say about what you write about yourself.

 

NSN, get yourself some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the fireworks. It's debate over principles. Nobody knows anyone here - we're only pixels on screens. People make assumptions based on words and coloured by their own issues, biases, and perceptions. And none of it can be verified - it's all part of the ether. People are seldom what they say they are - not because they lie but because objective self-awareness is nonexistent.

 

Bottom line - turn off the machine and all this vanishes into thin air. We are all holograms.

[Illusion24]

Originally posted by moimeme

Sure way to cause yourself grief: get upset about what a bunch of strangers say about what you write about yourself.

 

NSN, get yourself some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the fireworks. It's debate over principles. Nobody knows anyone here - we're only pixels on screens. People make assumptions based on words and coloured by their own issues, biases, and perceptions. And none of it can be verified - it's all part of the ether. People are seldom what they say they are - not because they lie but because objective self-awareness is nonexistent.

 

Bottom line - turn off the machine and all this vanishes into thin air. We are all holograms.

 

I'm not upset, just dissappointed that's all! I get what EVERYONE is saying and I always did, just another day!

 

End of this for me!

[westernxer]

Originally posted by moimeme

Bottom line - turn off the machine and all this vanishes into thin air. We are all holograms.

 

That's too easy, yet sooo difficult.

[blind_otter]

Feh. And I can call you a f*cking retard over the telephone but once the receiver goes *click* the insult goes away? Aaaaaanywaaaaaaays. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

[swirlingdaisy]

The whole mushy gushy Hallmark Card-esque posts smacks of a woman who has rather unrealistic, fantasy-like notions about love and relationships....it also smacks of someone who turns to another human being to make them complete, given them a reason to get up in the morning, who goes from one relationship to another one very quickly and falls in love with someone in 2.5 days - obviously mistaking infatuation for true love.....and someone who is looking for the kind of stuff that soap opera relationships are made of.........and tries to create that kind of dreamy love-land in her mind. I think it's sad when a woman, or even a man, gets so totally caught up with having someone in their life that they think the moon rises and sets on that person. It also gives me a good case of the giggles.

[westernxer]

Originally posted by swirlingdaisy

I think it's sad when a woman, or even a man, gets so totally caught up with having someone in their life that they think the moon rises and sets on that person.

 

 

Think of all the s.h.i.t.t.y prose that comes with it...