In so deep...it feels good!!

[EC]

The replacement was already lined up. Why not mention the fact, so he can start dealing with it immediately? After having recovered from the initial shock he will find out that NSN and Lozano have become a couple. Another major shock.

 

I do agree to some extent that it would be best if he found out and from her and not someone else...but its a little late for that now...I don't think thats another thing she could handle on her plate right now. This has been an emotional rollercoaster for her. I don't think she can handle her bf finding out right now.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by EC

I do agree to some extent that it would be best if he found out and from her and not someone else...but its a little late for that now...I don't think thats another thing she could handle on her plate right now. This has been an emotional rollercoaster for her. I don't think she can handle her bf finding out right now.

 

But by not telling she has no control over when he will find out, unless she were to lock herself in, and avoid Lozano 24/7 for a few weeks. She should not tell now, as it would only add insult to injury.

 

Maybe he already knows. He does not solely depend on NSN for that. He might have friends who spot her with Lozano. One of them is bound to tell him.

The only one who might know that is NSN herself. Maybe he wants her back, and will start the begging / pleading routine in a couple of days. And remember, because NSN has lost the control over the break-up situation, these situations can become highly confusing, and the honest truth ("Lozano is my current interest"), won't work anymore. So the situation will be draining for a couple of months, if he wants her back.

 

And you can't be certain that you and Lozano work out NSN; you have been in LTRs and they have not worked out as you originally hoped. Your ex-bf might have that feeling right now, that he does not believe it will work out ever with a woman.

[Pocky]

NSN is twenty-three years old and part of being a twenty-three year old is having a whimsical nature, especially when dealing with love and relationships.

 

NSN broke up with her boyfriend before she did anything that could be considered wrong. She did not mistreat him or betray his trust. She didn't cheat on him, she didn't manipulate him, she didn't damage him and she didn't disrespect him in any way. When she realized that he was not what she was looking for she let him go and did not keep him around for selfish reasons until she found what she was looking for. There is nothing wrong with her coming to this realization because Lozano came back into her life.

 

NSN was up front and honest and did the right thing. She ended a relationship she was not wholeheartedly giving her all to and there is nothing more anyone can ask of her.

 

She is not bound by an responsibility once she has ended the relationship with her previous boyfriend. To insist that she should conduct herself differently in public and put her life on hold simply because someone she used to have a relationship with may have issues is completely absurd. She ended the relationship and the only person she's accountable for at this point is herself.

 

If things don't work out with Lozano then she can move onto the next person that will hopefully provide her with the lifetime relationship she's looking for. There is nothing wrong with searching for that person you're looking for, even if that search takes you from one person to the next. As long as you do not use or mistreat anyone or disrespect them in your search, there is nothing wrong with running head first into love.

[EC]

NSN is twenty-three years old and part of being a twenty-three year old is having a whimsical nature, especially when dealing with love and relationships.

 

NSN broke up with her boyfriend before she did anything that could be considered wrong. She did not mistreat him or betray his trust. She didn't cheat on him, she didn't manipulate him, she didn't damage him and she didn't disrespect him in any way. When she realized that he was not what she was looking for she let him go and did not keep him around for selfish reasons until she found what she was looking for. There is nothing wrong with her coming to this realization because Lozano came back into her life.

 

NSN was up front and honest and did the right thing. She ended a relationship she was not wholeheartedly giving her all to and there is nothing more anyone can ask of her.

 

She is not bound by an responsibility once she has ended the relationship with her previous boyfriend. To insist that she should conduct herself differently in public and put her life on hold simply because someone she used to have a relationship with may have issues is completely absurd. She ended the relationship and the only person she's accountable for at this point is herself.

 

If things don't work out with Lozano then she can move onto the next person that will hopefully provide her with the lifetime relationship she's looking for. There is nothing wrong with searching for that person you're looking for, even if that search takes you from one person to the next. As long as you do not use or mistreat anyone or disrespect them in your search, there is nothing wrong with running head first into love.

 

Thank You what I was trying to say but I could not find the words

[Illusion24]

Pocky you're so right!!

 

I had urges to kiss Lozano when I was with my bf or go out with him with my bf...thats why I left my bf!!! I felt the need to be with other people and want to go out and have these feelings...It wasn't fair to him, whether he would understand or not...I made it a point not to disrespect my ex in any way or make him feel or look less of a man...I would never degrade my man or put him in a position where he looks like an idiot...

 

I know what I did was hard for some people to except but damn give me some credit for not having a hidden relationship with someone while with someone else...My heart can only take one love at a time...and as I grow up I realize theirs so many ways to love it's f*cking ridiculous

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by Pocky

She is not bound by an responsibility once she has ended the relationship with her previous boyfriend. To insist that she should conduct herself differently in public and put her life on hold simply because someone she used to have a relationship with may have issues is completely absurd. She ended the relationship and the only person she's accountable for at this point is herself.

 

Word. It IS ridiculous to have to live your life and restrict yourself for an ex!

[d'Arthez]

Pocky, the thing is not that she did formally something wrong; but by breaking up in this whimsical fashion, she has created a lot of problems for herself and her ex-bf. He will be clueless at first.

 

Also by avoiding the subject of Lozano, what will happen in his mind? In reality nothing may have happened. But he is 3 weeks back in her life, they hang out a lot and it is over. He will be a bit paranoid about platonic male/female relationships, to say the least. His issues, but they could have been avoided.

It was not difficult to predict that NSN and Lozano would start something. That will be on the ex-bf's mind. Have they cheated on him? No. But he won't be so certain of course.

 

There is nothing wrong with breaking up; but at least she could have been completely straightforward. But if her heart was not anymore in the relationship, why should not she have been honest with him? Because it would shatter his ego? In this situation it will happen at least twice. I don't see the advantages to that.

 

It takes courage to be honest, I admit to that. I never insisted that she should act differently in public. The point is, NSN admits that her ex-bf would not be able to handle the truth, but he will find out the truth from others, if she conducts herself in public in this fashion. A very frustrating situation to have put yourself in. Or to be on the receiving end of the information.

Of course she does not have any formal obligation to her now-ex. But it would have been a lot healthier for her and her ex, if the both of them had been brutally honest with them, so they could both have carried the deceased relationship to its grave.

 

Hopefully for NSN things work out with Lozano. I don't believe people should settle, for what you have. But on the other hand, people often think they can get a better deal.

As long as you do not use or mistreat anyone or disrespect them in your search, there is nothing wrong with running head first into love.

And that is exactly what we are debating here.

[Pocky]

Pocky, the thing is not that she did formally something wrong; but by breaking up in this whimsical fashion, she has created a lot of problems for herself and her ex-bf. He will be clueless at first.

 

What problems? She told her ex-boyfriend that she wasn't happy in the relationship and felt she needed something more. She told him she felt she was a different place in her life than he was and that she didn't want to hold him back from something when she knew that what she gained from this relationship wasn't what she was looking for. How did that create a lot of problems? How is he clueless? Sounds to me that she told exactly what she needed to tell him. The relationship wasn't what she wanted. It doesn't matter if Lozano came back into her life and she saw in him something she was more attracted to. I doesn't matter if his presence was the reason she came to this realization. She told her boyfriend the truth - he was not what she wanted. There is no need to tell him anything else. I hardly think he's clueless.

 

 

Also by avoiding the subject of Lozano, what will happen in his mind? In reality nothing may have happened. But he is 3 weeks back in her life, they hang out a lot and it is over. He will be a bit paranoid about platonic male/female relationships, to say the least. His issues, but they could have been avoided.

It was not difficult to predict that NSN and Lozano would start something. That will be on the ex-bf's mind. Have they cheated on him? No. But he won't be so certain of course.

 

By avoiding the subject of Lozano? Avoiding it how? It's irrelevant to the recently ended relationship. It could have been Ronald McDonald that made NSN realize that her ex-boyfriend wasn't the one for her. Lozano's role in her break up was that he instigated the realization that NSN needed in order to end a relationship she no longer applied herself to.

 

There is nothing wrong with breaking up; but at least she could have been completely straightforward. But if her heart was not anymore in the relationship, why should not she have been honest with him? Because it would shatter his ego? In this situation it will happen at least twice. I don't see the advantages to that.

 

She was honest. She told him how she felt. She didn't lie. She didn't have a relationship with Lozano. She didn't cheat on her ex-boyfriend. She didn't have any nefarious plans to break up with her boyfriend and then fly off to Hawaii with Lozano. Lozano is a minor figure in this issue. NSN had issues with this relationship well before Lozano came back into the picture. He was merely the tangible evidence she needed to know that her ex-boyfriend wasn't the one for her.

 

Of course she does not have any formal obligation to her now-ex. But it would have been a lot healthier for her and her ex, if the both of them had been brutally honest with them, so they could both have carried the deceased relationship to its grave.

 

And telling him that Lozano made her realize what she was missing is that important to the break up? I'm sorry, but I think you put too much emphasis on Lozano and not enough emphasis on the needs and emotions of NSN. You can't take a relationship that had issues from the start and manifest them all into one variable - Lozano.

 

NSN has moved on with her life. I find it hard to think that when her ex-boyfriend finds out she is now seeing someone else that he's going to be emotionally scarred for life. I find it hard to believe that this experience is so traumatic that he's going to be tortured for months to come over this relationship. This whole debate that he's now going to suffer because of this seems so melodramatic to me. He's nineteen years old and she's twenty-three years old and they're both going to experience the end of many relationships. She is not obligated to pour her soul out to someone when she decides to end a relationship. She is not obligated to tell every single secret she has just so the person doesn't experience a moment of doubt of why the relationship ended.

 

She did what she was supposed to do. She left when she no longer cared for the person the way she was supposed to care for them. She had no ring on her finger, she had no lifetime commitment and she had no obligation to share every single thought and reason as to why she left. She told him the truth - she didn't lie. How she came to that truth is irrelevant.

 

I've made my point and I guess we'll just disagree. It's really for NSN to decide if she was wrong or right and how she wants to proceed with her life.

[Illusion24]

Pocky:

 

I just want you to know I appreciate your insight in my situation... It hasn't been the easiest thing to go through but I least I know I'm not misunderstood by everyone.

 

It could have been Ronald McDonald that made NSN realize that her ex-boyfriend wasn't the one for her. Lozano's role in her break up was that he instigated the realization that NSN needed in order to end a relationship she no longer applied herself to.

 

That's what I was trying to say. It could have been someone else who made me look at things differently. I wasn't willing to back five years in my life and experience the things my ex needed to experience. I'm not getting younger and I do want to pursue a family. I just want someone to be at my level or higher. Someone who can give me what I need now...not in the future (that will come in time)

 

She is not obligated to pour her soul out to someone when she decides to end a relationship. She is not obligated to tell every single secret she has just so the person doesn't experience a moment of doubt of why the relationship ended.

 

To much can be overwhelming for him...I even told him "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you"...and do you know what he said..."I don't understand that"...That's when I knew, he doesn't even know the difference!

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by NeverSayNever

To much can be overwhelming for him...I even told him "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you"...and do you know what he said..."I don't understand that"...That's when I knew, he doesn't even know the difference!

 

Or perhaps the simple fact that the line was not used before by him, or against him. That is the most obvious possibility.

The first time you encountered the line you in all likelihood could not have made sense of it, yourself in 3 seconds time. It's a difficult line to make sense out for most people.

[Grinning Maniac]

Agreed.

 

You're surprised that your ex didn't understand that line? ARE YOU NUTS? That is the most cliche, overused, b.s. line in the history of relationships...and you expected him to take it at face value and gain a single bit of insight from it? A lot of girls just throw that line out when they don't know what else to say. I've even heard a few admit to it. So why exactly did you expect the lightbulb to go off FOR A NINETEEN YEAR OLD when you give him the LAMEST breakup explaination in the book?

 

Not totally buying that ridiculous throw-away catchphrase at 19 makes him so lost on what love means?...Right. I'd consider you more lost for even using it. But that's just me.

 

This thread cracked me up. It's amazing how quickly this girl has flipped to the other side of the pillow thinking it's warmer. I love you greenhorn. Reading those two posts back to back was hilarious. But the best part...the BEST part is how NSN is saying she's going to be taking this relationship "slow" and "cautious".

 

I truly feel, Lozano, is my soul mate.

He feels what I feel, he thinks what I think, he wants what I want, he craves what I crave, he loves the way I love, he smells the way I want a man to smell, he kisses me the way I need to be kissed, he holds me the way I need to be held, and the surprising part of all of this is that we haven't even made love...it's not sex with him its more then that!!! With him it's so passionate and saying I love you to him is so cliche...He says "when a woman tells me she needs me...its more meaningful than her telling me she loves me"....Without even question him, I looked into his eyes and told him..."I need you"!! I've never wanted anybody the way I want him..

 

Oh yeah...that's real slow there, babydoll. Almost *too* slow. I think you two should speed things up and cut straight to MARRIAGE AND DEATH BY OLD AGE. God....I haven't seen a woman this love-nuts in a long time. The last time I saw a girl like this was a good friend of mine from way back. She got into relationships the SAME WAY.

 

"This one's the soulmate! Oh crap it's not right! No no ok THIS one's gotta be the soulmate! I can't be wrong twice in two months! ...****!"

 

You want to know where she is now? Permanently residing in the suidical district of Gothville whining about how no one "loves" her and the world sucks and she hates everyone, blahblahblah. It breaks my damned heart. I told her so many times not to wear her heart on her sleeve and to slow the hell down, but she just never listened. It's a shame really... But enough of Memory Lane. Back on topic... NSN, I think the point D'arthez and some others are trying to make is that it seems a bit strange that so soon after a breakup you're tra-la-la'ing in Soulmate Land. Personally, I think you sound a wee bit psychotic. I'm not so concerned about your ex's feelings as much as you likely getting too deep into Lozenge or whatever his name is. But hey, buy the ticket take the ride. I enjoy the cosmic comedy either way.

 

 

PS: Every girl who's used "love but not in love" needs to slap themselves right now. Stop using that lame-ass line. I'd be less annoyed if you could break up with guys and incorporate "WHAASSUPP?!" into the speech. You stupid dames are all reading from the same script. THINK UP NEW MATERIAL.

[imlost]

So here am I , all the LS'er here is my love story.

 

I am 23 years old girl and my bf is 19 years, it feels so good, we are madly in love. There is no difference between us ..' what ya said - age difference' No way...we love each other. My family knows him, they like him too, we are just MADE FOR EACH OTHER. Life is kewl

 

Hey today I saw my old friend 'Lozano', wow he is so hottttttttt!!!, I always wished to hook up with him but no he was never free and me too, but oh..I can't live without him, he sweeps me off my feet, he makes me go weak in knees, and what more he has such a solid career, a home, a BMW....

 

Ok doesn't matter my current bf will finish his studies and will get a good job and we would be so happy, cause we LOVE each other....

 

Oh no..but why to go for uncertainity, Lozano has everything that my bf will have...Oh I am confused what to do..I remember how Lozano kissed me one day in the rest room..oh god that was such a great kiss...let me start a thread on Kiss on LS and then I will think.....

 

hmmm the thread is doing great..now what to do...Heyyyyyyyy don't they say that " A bird in hand is better than two in bush" so Lozano is bird in hand with golden feathers..but my bf???...

 

Oh God what do I say to my bf...God..how do I break up with him .What can I think of.....??? am totally confused...

 

Woooooohoooooooooooo I got a reason...yeah there is age difference between us...yeah this is the perfect reason for dumping him...wait..but won't it be too harsh on him...what is his fault.... I am such a dumb for not finding this reason before..he was always 4 yrs younger than me .

 

Ok will ask on LS about this and some Eternally Confused DUMPER will tell me a trick or two from the "LS Handbook for Selfish Dumping"

 

Ok today I got the reason ratified from the LSers...LS rocks!!!...whew such a nice place to get suggestion....

 

Mean while Lozano is so good..always thinks about me..he puts a quarter in the super market and thinks about me..he is driving and thiking about me..he is JERKING and thinking about me....wow..Lozano is my SOUL MATE....

 

so today I dumped him...poor guy...he got dumped...he was crying, such a pathetic loser to cry when getting dumped....I don't know why some guys are piece of s*** to cry and ask for reasons when getting dumped...must be weak from brain..must be malnourished during childhood..

 

but don't worry I have all the tricks..yeah I will give him the reason " I love you but not IN love" ...I myself don't know the meaning but no problem it is a reason...that pathetic son of a b!tch...couldn't understand the meaning.... lol.how can he understand the meaning when I myself don't understand it..but how can I say that I am dumping him for Lozano...

 

I can't say this to him, cause there is age differnce between us ..the difference which crept only after I saw Lozano...I am so good...I am not dumping him..it is just the relationship didnt work...

 

I have to grow up..I need to experiment and he was just a Guinea Pig..so why is he crying..doesn't he know what happens to Guinea pigs..they are left to die after the experiment...

 

Oh no..why to bother about all this..let go and meet Lozano..God I have never met a guy like this.....

 

So what if they say I dumped him, I can't kiss Lozano when I was with him so I need to dump him..I am so GOOD that I didn't cheat him, rather I dump him ..ok I didnt say the correct reason for dumping him but then I didnt cheat him..

 

I grew up and he was not the right person for me cause Lozano is the right person for me...

earlier my ex bf was sending shivers in my spine and now Lozano will send me shivers and when I meet someoe more hot and having a Yacht in Mediterranean then I would think of reason and dump Lozano and go with him..

 

Probably this time I would marry him and go for honeymoon like Prince Charles and Princess Diana aboard Yacht in Mediterranean.....

 

Thanks LS for supporting me all the way through....

 

love ya all... dump ya all....

[april]

ROTFL:lmao: :lmao:

 

To Grinning Maniac and imlost....both your posts are right on!!!

 

It's kinda what greenhorn and myself were trying to express - but you both did it so much better.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by april

ROTFL:lmao: :lmao:

 

To Grinning Maniac and imlost....both your posts are right on!!!

 

It's kinda what greenhorn and myself were trying to express - but you both did it so much better.

 

What unnecessarily nasty, bitchy posts. Good way to get your point across in the least effective, most offensive way!

[imlost]

Originally posted by blind_otter

What unnecessarily nasty, bitchy posts. Good way to get your point across in the least effective, most offensive way!

 

yes it is true, those who don't agree to you are unwise, ineffective and bitchy and those who agree to you are all wise.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by imlost

yes it is true, those who don't agree to you are unwise, ineffective and bitchy and those who agree to you are all wise.

 

Woah, what passive aggressiveness. I don't even agree with NSN, but the way I phrase my opinions is a lot less offensive than the way you do, with sarcasm and downright cruelty. People like you are why the world is as f*cked up as it is today. No compassion, just self-centered viciousness.

[Pocky]

So NSN is the main character in her romance novel and she's now replaced her leading man with someone else. Get over it. You're acting like you were dumped. Oh wait, you were. That must be why you're so bitter at life.

[imlost]

Originally posted by blind_otter

Woah, what passive aggressiveness. I don't even agree with NSN, but the way I phrase my opinions is a lot less offensive than the way you do, with sarcasm and downright cruelty. People like you are why the world is as f*cked up as it is today. No compassion, just self-centered viciousness.

 

 

But aren't there people like you to make this world so beautiful , compassionate and full of benevolence.

 

If you have the courage to listen then let me say that "People like you are why the world is so deceitful. No honesty, and full of hypocrites"

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by imlost

But aren't there people like you to make this world so beautiful , compassionate and full of benevolence.

 

If you have the courage to listen then let me say that "People like you are why the world is so deceitful. No honesty, and full of hypocrites"

 

Oh I was going to ask what "hypocrism" was but you changed it!

 

I don't get it. Why am I deceitful, what is dishonest about what I've said? There are a thousand ways to say the same thing. Some ways engender defensiveness (which is how you phrase things) -- which means that nothing will usually change because the person will spend their time defending themselves. Some ways will encourage the person to listen to different points of view. This is called diplomacy, and it has helped our world to function throughout history. To learn diplomacy is to learn how to most effectively reach other people so that they HEAR you rather than REACT to you.

 

That's all I'm saying. You sound like how you are -- bitter, angry, dismissive of other points of view. That's fine, your deal. I still don't get how me being diplomatic and nice about disagreeing with NSN is hypocrisy.

[imlost]

Originally posted by blind_otter

Oh I was going to ask what "hypocrism" was but you changed it!

 

I don't get it. Why am I deceitful, what is dishonest about what I've said? There are a thousand ways to say the same thing. Some ways engender defensiveness (which is how you phrase things) -- which means that nothing will usually change because the person will spend their time defending themselves. Some ways will encourage the person to listen to different points of view. This is called diplomacy, and it has helped our world to function throughout history. To learn diplomacy is to learn how to most effectively reach other people so that they HEAR you rather than REACT to you.

 

That's all I'm saying. You sound like how you are -- bitter, angry, dismissive of other points of view. That's fine, your deal. I still don't get how me being diplomatic and nice about disagreeing with NSN is hypocrisy.

 

Ok I joined this thread late but let me say

 

1. First you were disagreeing with NSN and one hard sentence from her changed your stand and you started supporting her.Your literary skills are much better than mine so you can get word for this.

 

2.You told " Greenhorn" that she is not his ex gf or he her ex bf, but how does it matter, an act of guile remains the same whether your ex gf or ex bf does it or some one else does it. If you are not a hypocrite then your stand remains the same.

 

3.You or EC told that" seems people have hang up of previous relationships", so does not this apply to all. Those who got dumped will despise it and those who dumped selfishly will justify it. So there was no point to blame others.

 

4. Anyone with clear conscience when seeing what NSN has done, will term it bad and deceitful behaviour so condoning such act is propagating dishonesty in this world. (though you started the blame game, blaming me for the entire vices of this world)

 

5. An act like this of NSN, is higly deplorable, and demands severe criticism and any word going contrary will be felt otherwise.

 

6.An honest person does not need to be diplomatic in personal relationships. Diplomacy has its limitations and boundary but probably you are either naive or too young to understand this.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by imlost

Ok I joined this thread late but let me say

 

1. First you were disagreeing with NSN and one hard sentence from her changed your stand and you started supporting her.Your literary skills are much better than mine so you can get word for this.

 

2.You told " Greenhorn" that she is not his ex gf or he her ex bf, but how does it matter, an act of guile remains the same whether your ex gf or ex bf does it or some one else does it. If you are not a hypocrite then your stand remains the same.

 

3.You or EC told that" seems people have hang up of previous relationships", so does not this apply to all. Those who got dumped will despise it and those who dumped selfishly will justify it. So there was no point to blame others.

 

4. Anyone with clear conscience when seeing what NSN has done, will term it bad and deceitful behaviour so condoning such act is propagating dishonesty in this world. (though you started the blame game, blaming me for the entire vices of this world)

 

5. An act like this of NSN, is higly deplorable, and demands severe criticism and any word going contrary will be felt otherwise.

 

6.An honest person does not need to be diplomatic in personal relationships. Diplomacy has its limitations and boundary but probably you are either naive or too young to understand this.

 

You probably don't know the history I have, which is posted on this board for everyone else to see....I talk openly about my past relationship problems. Anyways, my issue is this. I had a liason with someone that my exhusband knew right after we split up. My exhusband didn't need to know about it but a mutual friend took it upon himself to talk about my liason drunkenly one night, and my exhusband was furious. He was upset about the person I was involved with, and upset that he found out.

 

Honestly I see both sides of the situation. I think it is fickle, but what can you do? Would it be better to sit on a moral high horse and judge someone else? I think not. And I would prefer diplomacy to direct honesty any day. Once I was dumped by a boyfriend for my bestfriend of the time. I would rather NOT have known. I would rather that he had said a line to me. Because the way he dumped me for her made me SO insecure for years afterward.....

 

I've BEEN dumped before, in a bad way. And I'm dumped people before. All is fair is love and war, they say. But to sarcastically create a hypothetical dialogue that totally mocks people involved in a situation that you have no foreknowledge of is cruel and unnecessary. That's all I have to say.

[imlost]

Ok if you see both sides then see this situation.

 

The bf of this lady 'NSN' was dumped but due to what fault of his ??? and he was made to sound pathetic just cause he was not able to understand one sentence. How many people would have been in their sense at the time of dumping to understand anything.

 

NSN has the age difference but did it came suddenly, if there was age difference then why she dated him and loved him. NSN grew up and changed and if she was so unsure about herself then why did she enter into a relationship with that guy. was that guy a GUINEA PIG.

 

Just cause NSN is on LS and known to all does not mean that whatever she does is correct and just cause that poor guy is not on LS to pour his heart does not mean that his pain is less or different.

 

People do dump and it might be reasonable but not what NSN has done and it takes to be dumped like her bf to understand the pain.

 

This is such gross act of selfishness that does not require any diplomacy but plain and blunt criticism.

 

You can use diplomacy for school shootings but not for WTC bombing.

[blind_otter]

NSN has the age difference but did it came suddenly, if there was age difference then why she dated him and loved him. NSN grew up and changed and if she was so unsure about herself then why did she enter into a relationship with that guy. was that guy a GUINEA PIG.

 

Everyone makes mistakes. I commend you if you were able to make healthy relationship decisions that were all well-thought out throughout your entire life. I haven't always been able to do this, and only now as a single adult who has been married and divorced can I honestly say I think about all these things thoroughly.

 

Just cause NSN is on LS and known to all does not mean that whatever she does is correct and just cause that poor guy is not on LS to pour his heart does not mean that his pain is less or different.

 

If he were on here asking for support, he would get support. But he's not asking, NSN is. You can't give support to someone who isn't listening!

 

People do dump and it might be reasonable but not what NSN has done and it takes to be dumped like her bf to understand the pain.

 

I have been dumped for my bestfriend before, so I know what rejection feels like, babe.

 

This is such gross act of selfishness that does not require any diplomacy but plain and blunt criticism. You can use diplomacy for school shootings but not for WTC bombing.

 

This is your opinion, but thusfar the use of blunt force has not proved very effective.

[Pocky]

2.You told " Greenhorn" that she is not his ex gf or he her ex bf, but how does it matter, an act of guile remains the same whether your ex gf or ex bf does it or some one else does it. If you are not a hypocrite then your stand remains the same.

 

Why should NSN feel guilty for ending a relationship? If she didn't want to be in the relationship anymore why should she stay in it?

 

3.You or EC told that" seems people have hang up of previous relationships", so does not this apply to all. Those who got dumped will despise it and those who dumped selfishly will justify it. So there was no point to blame others.

 

If-someone-doesn't-want-to-be-in-a-relationship-why-should-they-stay-in-it? The whole concept that selfish dumping is a bad thing is nonsensical. When isn't ending a relationship selfish? People end relationships when they aren't getting what they need from them. Their needs aren't being met. So everyone that ever ends a relationship is doing it out of selfish reasons.

 

4. Anyone with clear conscience when seeing what NSN has done, will term it bad and deceitful behaviour so condoning such act is propagating dishonesty in this world. (though you started the blame game, blaming me for the entire vices of this world)

 

She didn't want to be in a relationship with him. How many times does that have to be said until it's understood? How is that wrong? How is not wanting to be in a relationship with someone wrong? How is wanting to date someone else and ending a relationship because of that wrong?

 

Don't you think staying in a relationship with someone you don't love and someone you don't want to be with is more deceitful and dishonest than ending the relationship.

 

Don't you think lying to the person that you care when you really don't is more deplorable and unacceptable. The way you write, you make it seem like she should have just lied and stayed there because he didn't do anything wrong. Regardless, of how she feels she should just lie about her feelings.

 

5. An act like this of NSN, is higly deplorable, and demands severe criticism and any word going contrary will be felt otherwise.

 

Why? What did she do wrong? She ended a relationship. Why the hell is that wrong?

 

Honestly, what do you want her to do? What, in your opinion, would have been the right thing for NSN to do. I'd like to know what alternate behavior you'd find acceptable. Tell us - please - how should she have handled this situation.

[imlost]

Everyone makes mistakes. I commend you if you were able to make healthy relationship decisions that were all well-thought out throughout your entire life. I haven't always been able to do this, and only now as a single adult who has been married and divorced can I honestly say I think about all these things thoroughly.

 

Seeing the age difference is not mistake. The age difference was there since day one and not crept with coming of that LOZANO. Why you all are not able to see the reason for dumping, age difference was not the reason, it was LOZANO with house, career and what not... she wanted to find one reason and got hold of this age difference. It is just the overt reason not the real reason.

 

If he were on here asking for support, he would get support. But he's not asking, NSN is. You can't give support to someone who isn't listening!

 

NSN is not here for asking support, rather for ratifying her shameless act whicn you all are doing.People should tell someone as wrong then when they are wrong.

 

I have been dumped for my bestfriend before, so I know what rejection feels like, babe.

 

Then think for a second you are her bf who was dumped due to no fault, then put your hand on your heart and say once that NSN was correct to dump him.

 

This is your opinion, but thusfar the use of blunt force has not proved very effective.

 

I don't think anything will be effective for someone as NSN. These kinds of person will go on doing dishonest things, cheating others , giving pain and suffering to those who come near her.

 

 

In the hind sight I think her bf was lucky to get rid of her, he does deserve someone better than this opportunistic lady and he is zillion times better without her.