i keep unblocking and blocking him

[Jay13094]

i keep blocking and unblocking my ex from my phone. I can't seem to make a decision, i've been going through this process for a couple days now and its killing me. I feel like both ways I'm not healing. If i block him, i what if he sent me a msg that was worth reading. If i do unblock him, (i ignore everything) he contacts me at least once a week so it does make it harder to forget him. I'm being stubborn because he's most likely still talking to that other girl i found out about which is the reason why I left him and its not like he's even asking for me back he just wants to hang out with me as "friend" or whatever that means. He said he liked me a lot so there must be underlying feelings there but i don't know what to do

 

anyone have advice on my situation? he told his friend he wanted to pursue a relationship w/ that other girl (while telling me he was not ready) so why is he still hitting me up, and won't leave me alone. I told him i'm trying to get over him too and he know exactly how i feel and how much he hurt me

[privategal]

Let me be the first to tell you...BLOCK...stay blocked, and heal.

He's hitting you up cause he's not sure what will hapoen with her, it's an ego stroke when you write him so that feeds him, he gets the attention from 2 women and he also feels less guilty he left what you two had to pursue someone else if your still engaging him, it eases his guilt.

Do you deserve to be a second choice and a backup plan?

Nope!!!!

Let her have him...it might hurt your pride, and sure its hard to give up and walk away but he can't be trusted. Let him go he is disrespecting a great thing...

And guys just dont wake up and think...hey...I dont need the excitement and attention of a new girl, Ive got a good one...no...unfortunately he already took it there with her...he loses now.

Strict no contact...lots of bubble baths, good non sappy movies, tons of exercising, a new class of any sort...tea, wine, YOU.

You are a prize!! Volunteer even, just lose the zero!

Don't even date...just be selfish and think and be positive!

He in the end loses and nothing he can say or do now will add to your life.

Delete facebook for a bit...disappear, dont talk to his friends...forget him cause he isn't worthy of you!! RUN!! For you!!

Keep going!! Your doing great and the NC will HELP even if the 1st few weeks are tough...lock your phone in your car trunk. Keep it off but still block ANY way to you!! And no fb checking on your end either!!!

[GoodFlora]

First of all I'm sorry that you're feeling this way

 

I'm kind of passing through something similar and the guy I really like just wants to be friend. Our situation is different bc we are a country away from each other. But still, he thinks it's better to be friends than try a LDR.

 

I think when the guy keeps texting and asking how are we feeling it's not much bc they want to keep us or they are afraid of losing us. I think that they are actuallly feeling guilty and they want to look nice and mature.

 

I know people that would be fine with that. Not me though.

I think that when we still have feelings it's too painful to start a friendship. It's too much. We have to heal and we need to move on.

I think the best move is to make it clear that you like him and it's being too sad to accept that you are now only friends. Tell that you need your space from now.

 

I know how it hurts. And when we think it's over, it hurts even more. But, the great thing: it will not be forever.

That's the amazing secret of life, struggles or triumphs are like waves, they come and go. When you realize it will be gone.

 

I wish you feel better soon!

[Jay13094]

Let me be the first to tell you...BLOCK...stay blocked, and heal.

He's hitting you up cause he's not sure what will hapoen with her, it's an ego stroke when you write him so that feeds him, he gets the attention from 2 women and he also feels less guilty he left what you two had to pursue someone else if your still engaging him, it eases his guilt.

Do you deserve to be a second choice and a backup plan?

Nope!!!!

Let her have him...it might hurt your pride, and sure its hard to give up and walk away but he can't be trusted. Let him go he is disrespecting a great thing...

And guys just dont wake up and think...hey...I dont need the excitement and attention of a new girl, Ive got a good one...no...unfortunately he already took it there with her...he loses now.

Strict no contact...lots of bubble baths, good non sappy movies, tons of exercising, a new class of any sort...tea, wine, YOU.

You are a prize!! Volunteer even, just lose the zero!

Don't even date...just be selfish and think and be positive!

He in the end loses and nothing he can say or do now will add to your life.

Delete facebook for a bit...disappear, dont talk to his friends...forget him cause he isn't worthy of you!! RUN!! For you!!

Keep going!! Your doing great and the NC will HELP even if the 1st few weeks are tough...lock your phone in your car trunk. Keep it off but still block ANY way to you!! And no fb checking on your end either!!!

 

i guess that is true when you say besides him not knowing whats going to happen with her, that he may not feel as guilty for what he did because I would remain civil with him therefore him thinking i'm over it. But yes, i have deleted him off all social platforms and deleted public pictures (while he has not, or unfollowed me). And yeah, the other girl is the same as him so they sure will have a lot to deal with each other. Guess I got to let it go, and let him live with the decision he's made. He's used to keeping in touch w/ his ex's and hanging out with them as friends so i guess this is new to him lol

[Jay13094]

First of all I'm sorry that you're feeling this way

 

I'm kind of passing through something similar and the guy I really like just wants to be friend. Our situation is different bc we are a country away from each other. But still, he thinks it's better to be friends than try a LDR.

 

I think when the guy keeps texting and asking how are we feeling it's not much bc they want to keep us or they are afraid of losing us. I think that they are actuallly feeling guilty and they want to look nice and mature.

 

I know people that would be fine with that. Not me though.

I think that when we still have feelings it's too painful to start a friendship. It's too much. We have to heal and we need to move on.

I think the best move is to make it clear that you like him and it's being too sad to accept that you are now only friends. Tell that you need your space from now.

 

I know how it hurts. And when we think it's over, it hurts even more. But, the great thing: it will not be forever.

That's the amazing secret of life, struggles or triumphs are like waves, they come and go. When you realize it will be gone.

 

I wish you feel better soon!

 

thanks so much for replying!! but i have told him that i do still like him, and all im trying to do is move on and cut him out of my life. He would call about stupid crap so i told him to not contact me unless he had something to say to me (his dumbass prob took that as just trying to say whats up, when what i meant was if he wanted to reconcile) I thought i made it clear to him that i was not going to speak to him b/c of what happened between us. He hasn't respected my wishes and would ask to go to a concert with him... or hang out with him and his friends... like.. whys he doing all this when he KNOWS its not fair like how obliviously and selfish can someone be

[LooperDooper]

thanks so much for replying!! but i have told him that i do still like him, and all im trying to do is move on and cut him out of my life. He would call about stupid crap so i told him to not contact me unless he had something to say to me (his dumbass prob took that as just trying to say whats up, when what i meant was if he wanted to reconcile) I thought i made it clear to him that i was not going to speak to him b/c of what happened between us. He hasn't respected my wishes and would ask to go to a concert with him... or hang out with him and his friends... like.. whys he doing all this when he KNOWS its not fair like how obliviously and selfish can someone be

 

I'm no expert, but you need to block him. If you want to feel better (in a way), tell him you are going to block him because you've been very clear about what you want. The point is, he has you there as a back-up, you need to respect yourself and value you as a person, so either shut him out completely or shut him out completely. If you tell him you will block him, then when (and if, don't stay around waiting) he wants to reach, he'll find a way to do it. Where there is a will, there's a way. Make it impossible to him and start moving on. You are only hurting yourself with false hope. That's just my advice, though.

[Jay13094]

he wants to reach, he'll find a way to do it. Where there is a will, there's a way. Make it impossible to him and start moving on. You are only hurting yourself with false hope. That's just my advice, though.

 

you're right- i do have false hope because of the strong feelings I had for him in and what feelings / memories we shared. It was all too perfect, an "almost too good to be true" as he would put it. And I guess that was right- he messed up, so its his fault. I do not think I will tell him that I blocked him though, he can figure that one out himself.

[na49]

I'm right there with you lol. The only difference is that my ex hasn't initiated the first contact since she left me a month ago. I reached out once a few days and asked if I could call her. She told me "it is over, what's there to speak of?" (you can imagine how my heart shattered at that).

 

I've been struggling with this too though. If I block her, then I won't need to worry about ever hearing from her, which would be necessary for my healing. It will also be nice not to have a mini heart attack every time I think my phone goes off because I think it's her. Then there's the part of me that wants to know if she EVER thinks of me, and wants to reach out to me. I'd like to know that I haven't been forgotten at the very least. I'll take a breadcrumb at this point. Anything from her would be great.

 

She is unblocked at the moment though.

[LooperDooper]

I'm right there with you lol. The only difference is that my ex hasn't initiated the first contact since she left me a month ago. I reached out once a few days and asked if I could call her. She told me "it is over, what's there to speak of?" (you can imagine how my heart shattered at that).

 

I've been struggling with this too though. If I block her, then I won't need to worry about ever hearing from her, which would be necessary for my healing. It will also be nice not to have a mini heart attack every time I think my phone goes off because I think it's her. Then there's the part of me that wants to know if she EVER thinks of me, and wants to reach out to me. I'd like to know that I haven't been forgotten at the very least. I'll take a breadcrumb at this point. Anything from her would be great.

 

She is unblocked at the moment though.

 

 

Listen I was in your shoes very recently. Went NC and waited everyday close to my phone expecting her to say something because of the NC. It never happened, until I decided to reach out to her again. Some might say it was stupid, but heck it helped the crap out of me. I talked to her again and she pretty much told me things will not be changing and that I need to move on. Trust me, sometimes a huge pain like that is a simple reality check for you. Block her or him, but do it without the hope of them coming back, if you need to find a reality check to realize they aren't worth it. And trust me, I've had and will have very bad days, doesn't mean we obssess with the things we "didn't" do that made the relationship fall apart.

[Jay13094]

I'll take a breadcrumb at this point. Anything from her would be great.

 

She is unblocked at the moment though.

 

 

for my situation, because he played me for another girl and was lying to me. I REFUSE to take breadcrumbs. What i need to hear from him is that he messed up and he wants me back- if thats not it, then forget it!! But that is why im having a hard time keeping him blocked.. to see if he wants to reach out. He called me over the weekend when he got unblocked and I did not return the call. I block/unblocked probably about 5 times today HAHA but I do have him blocked now and hoping to til I heal.

[na49]

I decided to reach out to her again. Some might say it was stupid, but heck it helped the crap out of me. I talked to her again and she pretty much told me things will not be changing and that I need to move on.

 

I feel like getting a message from her like this would help.

 

but then I realize, I kind of already did a few days after the breakup. She told me it's over, didn't want to talk to me on the phone about anything, and told me she "wasn't looking back". I'm hung up on those last words she told me, but I think they need to turn into motivation at some point. She doesn't want me anymore.

 

Jay: You're stronger than I am right now. I know how you feel about the blocking and unblocking multiple times a day. That was me for a while until I decided to leave her unblocked for right now.

[Jay13094]

 

Jay: You're stronger than I am right now. I know how you feel about the blocking and unblocking multiple times a day. That was me for a while until I decided to leave her unblocked for right now.

 

Yeah, I know you might want some other message but you also are right and answered your own question where as she already made it clear that she did not want to speak to you. But you'll get to where I am in a couple days/weeks.. I'm not even that strong right now because it took this thread for me to really keep him blocked but who knows- when I wake up I might lose control again it really is hard, crazy how one person can make you fill so down