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how do you make the right changes!


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ok let me give the short version of the story, my girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me around newyears, during the time between she went back to her ex before me but wasnt happy. i went to counciling to try to deal with anger and memory issues and we got back together about 4 weeks ago today, and were extremly happy to be back together. well a lot of the same issues are creeping back in, i catch myself being grumpy, but no where near as bad as i used to be, and were starting to fight again and i hate it.. i went so far as to suggest this morning we go to counciling together to learn how to better communicate and that idea was shot down pretty quick. i feel like i want to put so much effort into it, like i HAVE put a ton of effort into it but the same problems keep coming up. i love her with all my heart, and i dont want to ever be with someone else so this isnt me asking if i should just quit and move on but... does anyone whos gotten back with an ex have any tips or ideas for me? i feel like im losing her and its really frustrating because i know we both love eachother but we still fight...all these feelings are really frustrating like.. on occaision i feel like because she still talks to her ex now(as a friend) that she might go back to him, and she feels like im not able to be open with her.. but i dont know how to be more open! *shakes fist* so frustrated!

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we fight about things like that i dont listen to her wants(the other day she wanted to go to a movie after we made dinner, which i would have loved to do... but we were watching tv and so i lost track of time and so we ended up not going) we fight about ...heh my not spoiling her. we fight about my insecurity about her being friends with her ex.(which i think is a big problem.. he buys her things and sends her letters and that really makes me feel uncomfortable. we fight that im not able to explain really why it makes me feel uncomfortable. i feel like i should just not worry so much about it... but every time he calls it makes me feel really awkward. we basicly live at her house now and im there all the time... could that possibly be part of the problem? i love spending time with her...*shrug*

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one of my questions is do you think i should really push for counciling. i dont want to lose her again because i know we both feel really good on our good days but we both feel like **** on our bad days. yesterday we were having the best day, we had lunch, we went to get icecream, we had a lovely walk outside, she mentioned some sandels she wanted(which we also planned to go get together at some point) we came home and after dinner the power went out so me her and her family all just talked and played 20 questions. this is about where it went sour i started doing my math homework(online class) and im checking my grades, turns out i had done the wrong assignment a few days before and she yelled at me saying i told you so! this made me feel like crap so i so i asked why she was being a butthead(one of our words i thought was ok to say because she calls me it on occaision) boy was i wrong to say that, and i appologized for it. she even got mad that i appologize so much! love is frustrating sometimes... i feel so wonderful with her but also feel really stupid sometimes because of the things she says...*shrug*

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