musicalsteve82 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Did you cut off or seriously distance yourself from friends when you got married? I head it happens, just need a reality check. Link to post Share on other sites
rons27 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Now I live in Texas and all of my old friends live in California. My wife and I came from a large group of friends from college. It just seemed easier for me to separate from a lot of the friends I had when I was single. I am seriously isolated though and I'm not sure I like it. Link to post Share on other sites
karnak Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Even though I never officially married I lived with a girl. And I always took care never to loose touch with my friends and keep them close. I also allowed/encouraged my mate to keep her friends close. Eventually we separated. Some of my friends (men and women) got married and disappeared out of my sight. Almost all of them are now divorced or having troubles with their marriages. Those that are single have tried to re-establish communication, now that they're alone. Alas... I don't care for their company now. People without character can just **** off. Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Yes, but not intentionally. It actually happened when we moved in together, before we got married. Just all of a sudden there was house stuff, projects, no money...life got in the way. Link to post Share on other sites
kenji_t Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I never lost touch with my real friends, but I guess everybody ends up distancing themselves os friends at one point...that starts with the dating part, really. Family has to come first, so it's normal to not see friends very often after marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
jackslife Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Family has to come first, so it's normal to not see friends very often after marriage. ^^^^ completely disagree with this. Yes family should come first, but that doesn't mean you can't keep your friends. It isn't a choice. Obviously it depends on your friends. My close circle of friends I've had for over 30 years. The dynamic changed when we started settling down and having families. Obviously going out drinking with mates on a friday and saturday stopped. However, we decided to meet up every other thursday. This has kept us in touch. My wife sees her friends regularly and I see mine. You need friends to let off steam with, chew the fat, talk sports and often we do the couple thing. If you have good friends you should to keep them. But as your circumstances change, those friendships will alter. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I have had friends fade out slightly after 1st getting married. It's the honeymoon phase & similar to when friends get new relationships. The time & energy go into the primary romance, with friendships coming in a later spot. It usually re-balances out after a while. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kenji_t Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 ^^^^ completely disagree with this. Yes family should come first, but that doesn't mean you can't keep your friends. It isn't a choice. Obviously it depends on your friends. My close circle of friends I've had for over 30 years. The dynamic changed when we started settling down and having families. Obviously going out drinking with mates on a friday and saturday stopped. However, we decided to meet up every other thursday. This has kept us in touch. My wife sees her friends regularly and I see mine. You need friends to let off steam with, chew the fat, talk sports and often we do the couple thing. If you have good friends you should to keep them. But as your circumstances change, those friendships will alter. You said you disagree, but you basically agreed with my post all along... All I said is: family's needs come first, so it's normal to distance yourself from friends, but I never said to lose touch all together. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Some bad ones were cut off Others it was hard to remain friends if were remaining single party folks without kids (different lifestyles). One or two remained friends, but were father away and with their own family with little free time to meet up. It happens - its a different phase in life - like from high school friends to college friends to work friends to married friends. A few stay in your life - others suited who you or they were for that time. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 not at all. but we all did move to different parts of the world and somewhat lost touch. we do get together ever couple of years for some fun. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 One of my girlfriends did that - I was actually her maid of honor and I swear like not even a month after she got married, she just started being very rude and dismissive. She stopped replying to texts like she used to. She stopped coming out for activities I dunno what could have done that - it's like she finally got married and lost all her manners. She would only once in a while wanna do something (when she's bored) so I'm pretty much done with her. It's a shame. But she's the only one of my married friends that turned out like that. The friends who have kids don't have time to be as social as they once were- and that, I totally get (but they still make an effort to stay in touch). Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 No, but now that I look back at it, there are several people at our wedding who we don't see anymore. I never stopped being with our friends after marriage. Or even kids. Obviously there is some barriers since you now have a wife and can't just get up and go out every night, or if you have kids it is even harder. But you still have a relationship and heck, phones actually still work, you know? It isn't just for candy crush and other games. You can call people. For me the friends I have drifted apart from aren't the single ones as much as they are the guys who I had great times with in my early 20s and even mid 20s but still act the same way 10 years later. Post countless photos of them drinking and partying and such and I think you sort of lose a common bond because you've grown up and they haven't. So there's that. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Did you cut off or seriously distance yourself from friends when you got married? Depends. I did lose the "let's stay out all night and throw up in the trash can" ones, just didn't seem as fun - or funny - any more. The good ones kept in touch though social media has often been substituted for in-person meet-ups. Raising 4 kids means you have to pick you spots... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts