Time to make some fundamental changes in my life

[OrangeParty]

Also I don't see how someone taking care of their body will help find a significant other but that's just me.

 

Aside from the obvious body size being society's measure of attractiveness, there are indirect ways. Taking care of your body brings fringe benefits -- for me it was increased confidence, better stamina, overall more positive outlook.

 

People who radiate positivity and energy are very attractive. I'm not there yet, but I'm striving to. These are results of taking care of your body. When you feel better, you look better and you see the world better. That can be infectious. Without stamina, it's very unattractive to huff and puff after walking along a nature trail for 10 minutes.

[JuneJulySeptember]

It depends on the face. There's a lot of bigger women who I find to be OK looking but not particularly attractive. 15 pounds off could do some wonders, so I'd say I would be more likely to be attracted.

 

But I do see your point. Still, it doesn't hurt to lose some of one's fat, and if one of the perks is more people may be attracted to you as a result, then so be it.

 

Are you average now, or overweight?

 

If you're an overweight guy (50lbs +), then it would help. One of my buddies is way overweight. He could stand to drop 100 pounds. That would have helped him a bunch (he's taken).

 

If you're an average guy, and you can turn yourself into either a buff muscular guy, or a super cut guy, there ARE a niche of women who would be attracted to that when they didn't like you as an average guy. But that will take YEARS of working out hard and eating right and watching calories, fat content, protein, and carbs.

 

Please ask me how I know all this.

Edited May 31, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[Teknoe]

Are you average now, or overweight?

 

I would say I'm about 20-25 pounds overweight. Not obese, but I do have a belly. If I can tone it down a bit, and lose some of the fat in my cheeks, I think I'd become a lot more attractive looking.

 

I'm by no means a looker, but I've been told I have a great smile. Losing some of the fat off my face would help!

[JuneJulySeptember]

I would say I'm about 20-25 pounds overweight. Not obese, but I do have a belly. If I can tone it down a bit, and lose some of the fat in my cheeks, I think I'd become a lot more attractive looking.

 

I'm by no means a looker, but I've been told I have a great smile. Losing some of the fat off my face would help!

 

25 pounds might be worth it. That probably shows some.

[SummerDreams]

People who radiate positivity and energy are very attractive.

 

Well I guess this is the key point I disagree on. I don't find over-confident people attractive and I don't judge people on their weight. I'm not willing to dramatically change myself, inside or out, only to be eligible for men to like me. If I think I need some changes that have to do with my inner self and my improvement as a person or in lifestyle as a person, then I'll do these changes, but definitely not to please another person.

 

Someone also wondered how you can find a SO sitting at home. Ha. Don't we live in the internet world, am I wrong? Aren't there hundreds of online games, forums, blogs, whatever where you can meet and talk to people? I was just last week to a wedding of a couple who met through Lineage online game. No, going to a bar or a club or a museum or whatever and talking to strangers is not my thing and will never be, no matter how much I hear people saying "you have to go out, you have to become social". No, I don't HAVE to do anything, I'll do what suits me best and your way is not always the right way.

 

Edit to add another thing: Assuming Teknoe does all these changes to his body and he finally meets a girl. If this girl were me, and you told me "well I had to lose 10 kgs to feel better for myself and meet a girlfriend" I would definitely not appreciate it. I would expect to hear you corrected some flaws you had on your personality, your way of thinking, your way of seeing things etc, that you made your inner self better, rather than just lose the weight, change haircut, but a couple of outfit and that's it. I'm not referring directly to you OP, just some thoughts.

 

My point is, becoming more attractive may bring available women to your side. Will it be enough though to bring good enough and long term women to your side? If your goal is to hook up with chicks then yes, you should make yourself fit and rich. If you are looking for a serious relationship, mature and serious women definitely don't find these features a must, more like a bonus, for this.

Edited May 31, 2015 by SummerDreams

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well I guess this is the key point I disagree on. I don't find over-confident people attractive and I don't judge people on their weight. I'm not willing to dramatically change myself, inside or out, only to be eligible for men to like me. If I think I need some changes that have to do with my inner self and my improvement as a person or in lifestyle as a person, then I'll do these changes, but definitely not to please another person.

 

Someone also wondered how you can find a SO sitting at home. Ha. Don't we live in the internet world, am I wrong? Aren't there hundreds of online games, forums, blogs, whatever where you can meet and talk to people? I was just last week to a wedding of a couple who met through Lineage online game. No, going to a bar or a club or a museum or whatever and talking to strangers is not my thing and will never be, no matter how much I hear people saying "you have to go out, you have to become social". No, I don't HAVE to do anything, I'll do what suits me best and your way is not always the right way.

 

Edit to add another thing: Assuming Teknoe does all these changes to his body and he finally meets a girl. If this girl were me, and you told me "well I had to lose 10 kgs to feel better for myself and meet a girlfriend" I would definitely not appreciate it. I would expect to hear you corrected some flaws you had on your personality, your way of thinking, your way of seeing things etc, that you made your inner self better, rather than just lose the weight, change haircut, but a couple of outfit and that's it. I'm not referring directly to you OP, just some thoughts.

 

My point is, becoming more attractive may bring available women to your side. Will it be enough though to bring good enough and long term women to your side? If your goal is to hook up with chicks then yes, you should make yourself fit and rich. If you are looking for a serious relationship, mature and serious women definitely don't find these features a must, more like a bonus, for this.

 

I agree with you.

 

I also think that for instance somebody likes you at 160 pounds, but didn't at 185, then they are the kind of person who will continuously become 'not attracted to you anymore' for a variety of reasons ranging from you gaining the weight back to failing to make it a certain point in your career, wearing unattractive shirt or jeans, etc. You would be on eggshells with such a person, thinking that the next mis-step costs you them.

 

Like mentality should get together with like mentality.

[Els]

How has the working out been going, Teknoe? I might be different, but if I made myself work out every single day without fail, I'd burn out in a few weeks. I find 3x/week a lot more sustainable in the long run. If everyday works well for you then great, otherwise don't beat yourself up over it, just go down to a pace that's more sustainable long-term for you.

 

Someone also wondered how you can find a SO sitting at home. Ha. Don't we live in the internet world, am I wrong? Aren't there hundreds of online games, forums, blogs, whatever where you can meet and talk to people? I was just last week to a wedding of a couple who met through Lineage online game. No, going to a bar or a club or a museum or whatever and talking to strangers is not my thing and will never be, no matter how much I hear people saying "you have to go out, you have to become social". No, I don't HAVE to do anything, I'll do what suits me best and your way is not always the right way.

 

I do know a few couples that met through online gaming, but that is very much a rarity. And you should certainly do what suits you best, as Teknoe should do what he thinks would work best for him (not you).

[Teknoe]

How has the working out been going, Teknoe? I might be different, but if I made myself work out every single day without fail, I'd burn out in a few weeks. I find 3x/week a lot more sustainable in the long run. If everyday works well for you then great, otherwise don't beat yourself up over it, just go down to a pace that's more sustainable long-term for you.

 

Oh, great.

 

I did my yoga program 100 nights in a row recently.

 

Right now I'm at about 2 and a half weeks in a row? It's low impact on the joints, so it's pretty sustainable.

 

However, this summer I plan to alternate between work outs and hiking. I'll do one or the other.