Why can't anyone admit that most people are picky these days?

[NJ123]

It seems things are different out in the real world than what people actually say. It just seems like as a man you need to be good looking, have a good job, have a lot of confidence & not be shy, good amount of dating experience at a certain age, as well as qualities that don't hurt such as being tall.

 

For guys they want the most attractive women even if their not attractive themselves & than they stay alone because their standards are way too high. I get no one wants to be with someone they don't find attractive, but realistically speaking if you're average or deemed as unattractive by most people than in all probability you're not getting an attractive partner. Why can't people just flat out admit that the world is extremely shallow & that most people want what they want even if it's not realistic to happen?

[ThaWholigan]

I don't think you'll find anybody (except one person maybe) who says they aren't picky about who they want to date. That's an erroneous statement right there, and I think it's more because they allege to be picky about things that you don't think are accurate.

 

You are obviously of the opinion that surface level traits are the overriding sticking point as you keep mentioning them (looks, money, status etc), ergo you believe that literally everyone else is. I think you're projecting a little bit to be honest

 

I'm pretty picky myself, about a number of things, but it's mainly intangible. I'm sexually attracted to a lot of women, but that doesn't mean that it would be a good idea for me to do anything with them, for a number of reasons. Ergo, I'm reserved. That's just me though.

 

When it comes to women, looks and all that other surface stuff matter - but not the way some of you guys think they do, and perhaps not exactly to the extent. Encounter girls in particular circles and it's easy to extrapolate that onto the female population at large, but it serves no purpose and it's not entirely true anyway.

[autumnnight]

I think most people are picky, at least to an extent.

 

The problem comes in when someone else thinks they can tell me what I should or should not care about based on what makes them comfortable. That isn't how it works.

 

Yeah, dating would be easier for me if I could make every guy love tall women with padonkadonk butts and make every guy NOT care about post-nursing boobs. That isn't how the world works. Some people are going to want exactly who I am, and some people aren't. And some of those people who don't are going to be people I would find attractive.

 

The problem isn't that people are picky. The problem is that some people think they are entitled to dictate other people's pickiness to increase their odds.

 

It has never worked like that, and it never will.

[Shepp]

I'm a guy. I'm picky. I'm not attempting to hide that fact!

 

People SHOULD be picky about a partner they could potentially spend the rest of there life with!

 

It's just not PC anymore to have physical or characteristic preferences!

[NJ123]

I don't think you'll find anybody (except one person maybe) who says they aren't picky about who they want to date. That's an erroneous statement right there, and I think it's more because they allege to be picky about things that you don't think are accurate.

 

You are obviously of the opinion that surface level traits are the overriding sticking point as you keep mentioning them (looks, money, status etc), ergo you believe that literally everyone else is. I think you're projecting a little bit to be honest

 

I'm pretty picky myself, about a number of things, but it's mainly intangible. I'm sexually attracted to a lot of women, but that doesn't mean that it would be a good idea for me to do anything with them, for a number of reasons. Ergo, I'm reserved. That's just me though.

 

When it comes to women, looks and all that other surface stuff matter - but not the way some of you guys think they do, and perhaps not exactly to the extent. Encounter girls in particular circles and it's easy to extrapolate that onto the female population at large, but it serves no purpose and it's not entirely true anyway.

 

But no one ever wants to admit it. It's always "oh it's about personality & can overlook the way they look". Which is a lie if we're being realistic here. Looks matter, someones job for the most part matters, confidence & not being shy matters. Than there's things such as relationship experience where if you don't have enough of it by a certain age, than you won't even be considered by a huge amount of women since they would be turned off instantly.

 

And with men, most want an attractive women. Which isn't realistic to happen if their not that attractive themselves unless they have a lot of money or have an out of this world amazing personality where they can overlook the way they look. There's a reason why so many guys complain about never getting the women they want.

 

Or they say the ones that messaged them on OLD or talk to them in person they are never attracted to. I admit myself that I'm guilty of this particular thing myself, but a lot of people don't want to admit it.

[Shepp]

Well to SAY you have at least!

[NJ123]

Well to SAY you have at least!

 

But people always state things that are completely different than how they really are. Why can't people just be realistic, instead of giving false hope? Attractive people a vast majority of the time end up with other attractive people unless they have a lot of money or an extremely attractive personality. Than in terms of the job, some state that they don't care as long as they can support themselves. Which is a lie, since that wouldn't be enough eventually when they want a family. Than that factors into things completely. Will they be able to provide if they only make $30,000 a year? It's just not happening.

[Mangina]

I think what you are trying to say is that people do not admit what they are picky about. On here they say personality kindness chemistry typical bull ****. In the real world it is looks money status.

[Harold of Andraste]

What's the difference between being picky and feeling that your entitled?

 

A pattern that I'm seeing in these threads is somebody saying that they guy feels that he is entitled to what he wants, while all I'm seeing is that they guy is just pointing out what he likes.

[NJ123]

I think what you are trying to say is that people do not admit what they are picky about. On here they say personality kindness chemistry typical bull ****. In the real world it is looks money status.

 

Yeah, pretty much. Guys want women that are attractive & women want guys with good looks, status & good job. There's obviously going to be exceptions to the rule, but for the most part that's just the way it is regardless of what anyone says.

[NJ123]

What's the difference between being picky and feeling that your entitled?

 

A pattern that I'm seeing in these threads is somebody saying that they guy feels that he is entitled to what he wants, while all I'm seeing is that they guy is just pointing out what he likes.

 

Just have to be realistic in terms of how things are out in the real world instead of lying about it & pretending it's not as bad as it seems.

[Mangina]

Yeah, pretty much. Guys want women that are attractive & women want guys with good looks, status & good job. There's obviously going to be exceptions to the rule, but for the most part that's just the way it is regardless of what anyone says.

 

Yes we have talked about this before. You will not get too many people to admit that even on an anonymous forum. I do not take this place very seriously I just get on here when the weather is really bad and I do not want to leave my apartment

[NJ123]

Yes we have talked about this before. You will not get too many people to admit that even on an anonymous forum. I do not take this place very seriously I just get on here when the weather is really bad and I do not want to leave my apartment

 

True. Basically you just have to know your own worth as an individual. I'm probably a 7 or 8 in looks, so I know I'll never get the woman that looks like a model. But I suppose I could get a decent looking woman if I had a good job if everything fell into place. I was on Match.com for a bit the other day just looking at what the women want on there. And of course they all had certain height requirements, as well as a lot of them wanting the guy to make more than them. I know OLD people are even worse in terms of being picky, but still the point still stands.

[ThaWholigan]

See, I was right then. You want people to "admit" to your paradigm of what you think they are picky about.

 

Again, projection. Plain and simple.

[whatcanitellyou]

I think the difference between picky and entitled comes down whether you find what you want. If you manage to do it you're picky but if you can't and then complain about how you're alone you're entitled. Also what you bring to the table will factor in: if you're in good shape and want someone in good shape you have standards, but if you're a pot bellied slob who wants a good bodied partner you're entitled.

[NJ123]

I think the difference between picky and entitled comes down whether you find what you want. If you manage to do it you're picky but if you can't and then complain about how you're alone you're entitled. Also what you bring to the table will factor in: if you're in good shape and want someone in good shape you have standards, but if you're a pot bellied slob who wants a good bodied partner you're entitled.

 

Well I'm in decent shape, I look kinda lean & fit. I could put on some more weight though. But of course I'd prefer a woman that's in decent/good shape physically.

 

But yes that's true, whatever you bring to the table yourself as an individual should factor in who you should go for. If you have an awful job but expect to be with someone with a good/great job, than that person will likely stay single for a very long time unless their a really attractive woman, or if the guy is really attractive himself & has a good personality. The thing is everyone doesn't want to settle for anything less than what they feel they deserve even if they don't have much going for them.

 

There's some circumstances where some people do wind up settling for someone they don't particularly want due to not having the greatest physical features, or if the woman is getting old & wants a kid, so she needs to find someone in a certain amount of time before it's too late.

[Starship]

See, I was right then. You want people to "admit" to your paradigm of what you think they are picky about.

 

Again, projection. Plain and simple.

 

So true. Not sure what syndrome he has. Some need for conformity of opinion? Lack of empathy for other experiences in life. Tomorrow the OP will start another thread asking for input and then rejecting the validity of that input.

 

To the question. I'm very picky and no issue admitting it. My female friends who also extremely picky about who they date or have physical relations with.

 

But are people more picky?...absolutely not. My mother would never have dated outside of her own white race...that excluded 80% of males on the planet. My grandmother not outside of her race and religion. That meant she only would date the one in a thousand ... white and Jewish. Also people did not date below their class, education, etc...so the pool was even smaller.

Edited March 7, 2015 by Starship

[WomenWubber]

"Why can't anyone admit that most people are picky these days?"

 

'Picky' is one of those relative adjectives and it doesn't really say much about any person in most contexts. From my observation, however, it's not a word many people would use describe themselves due to its generally negative connotation. I'd say that many people doesn't find anything flattering about the word and choose to stay away from it. Also there's this 'you have to keep your options often' kind of thing.

 

However, I've met some people who are not afraid to say "Look, I'm very picky and high maintenance. I want blahblahblahblahblahlblbalh. If you're blahblahblahblahblah, then sorry don't bother talking to me. Next!". I guess their level of confidence is quite high to say that outloud. Congrats to them for that.

[Mangina]

See, I was right then. You want people to "admit" to your paradigm of what you think they are picky about.

 

Again, projection. Plain and simple.

 

It does not make a difference if he is projecting he is pointing out something that I notice as well. He does not understand why so many people especially here pretend it is not true

[NJ123]

So true. Not sure what syndrome he has. Some need for conformity of opinion? Lack of empathy for other experiences in life. Tomorrow the OP will start another thread asking for input and then rejecting the validity of that input.

 

To the question. I'm very picky and no issue admitting it. My female friends who also extremely picky about who they date or have physical relations with.

 

But are oeople more picky?...absolutely not. My mother would never have dated outside of her on pen white race...that excluded 80% of males on the planet. My grandmother not outside of her race and religion. That meant she only would date the one in a thousand ... white and Jewish. Also people did not date below their class, education, etc...so the pool was even smaller.

 

People say things that absolutely are not true when it comes to the real world. People just like to give false hope to others about things. As said, what women look for a man the most is their looks, confidence since shyness is seen as a huge turn off, what type of job they have, dating experience, & status. Men look for attractiveness & the rest is secondary. Men don't care about a woman's job as much as a woman does about a man's. That's just a complete fact. It's good that you could admit your picky though instead of pretending you aren't.

[Mangina]

So true. Not sure what syndrome he has. Some need for conformity of opinion? Lack of empathy for other experiences in life. Tomorrow the OP will start another thread asking for input and then rejecting the validity of that input.

 

To the question. I'm very picky and no issue admitting it. My female friends who also extremely picky about who they date or have physical relations with.

 

But are people more picky?...absolutely not. My mother would never have dated outside of her own white race...that excluded 80% of males on the planet. My grandmother not outside of her race and religion. That meant she only would date the one in a thousand ... white and Jewish. Also people did not date below their class, education, etc...so the pool was even smaller.

 

Some people just like honesty. Someone on another thread said he would rather a doctor tell him he had 6 months to live than to blow smoke up his ass. I feel the same way.

[endlessabyss]

It all comes down to LMS!!

 

 

The bar is set high; you either meet it, or wither away. If you don't want to wither away, I suggest you get to work.

[NJ123]

See, I was right then. You want people to "admit" to your paradigm of what you think they are picky about.

 

Again, projection. Plain and simple.

 

But just look around. It's not just about personality, looks matter, the type of job you work matters as a man. Those are just facts. A woman who wants a family isn't going to be with a guy working a minimum wage job. She'll go for the guy with the good job instead regardless if the guy with the minimum wage job had an amazing personality. Also, guys with options are much more attractive to women. Why is it as someone else pointed out in another thread, that multiple women sometimes tend to go after the same guy? It's because they love how the guy is wanted by so many others, and it builds attraction to them.

[Mangina]

It all comes down to LMS!!

 

 

The bar is set high; you either meet it, or wither away. If you don't want to wither away, I suggest you get to work.

 

And here is what people need to here but people would rather pretend everything is okay and pat people on the back as if the issue will just disappear

[NJ123]

And of course I expected for people to get all worked up about this thread, but I don't care. I'm tired of people stating things that are lies.