Why can't anyone admit that most people are picky these days?

[NJ123]

And here is what people need to here but people would rather pretend everything is okay and pat people on the back as if the issue will just disappear

 

Basically it comes down to knowing realistically what your true self worth is.

[Mangina]

Basically it comes down to knowing realistically what your true self worth is.

 

And what you can do to raise it

[Phoe]

I think it depends on what someone's definition of "picky" is.

 

Looks and money are not very relevant to me.

 

All I require in the looks department is to be healthy, not deformed, practice good hygiene (that does include wearing clean clothes). Don't be sloppy!

 

While that's not much on the "picky" scale, it's absolutely essential for me and I can't budge on that.

 

And for job? Well, it's not a requirement. If a man is jobless but still manages to be self sufficient, then good for him. If he is not capable of supporting himself and has to ask me to pay his bills, then that is NOT acceptable. So the job isn't the issue, it's being financially responsible and stable. You can shovel dung for a living for all I care, as long as you shower at the end of the day and pay your own bills.

 

To many people, this is not picky at all. Meh!

[NJ123]

And what you can do to raise it

 

Yeah, in the areas that you can. Getting a good job alone, gives you way more options.

[Woggle]

People should be more picky but in the right ways. People these days will dismiss somebody because they drive the wrong color car but if they are married then no big deal,

[thefooloftheyear]

But just look around. It's not just about personality, looks matter, the type of job you work matters as a man. Those are just facts. A woman who wants a family isn't going to be with a guy working a minimum wage job. She'll go for the guy with the good job instead regardless if the guy with the minimum wage job had an amazing personality. Also, guys with options are much more attractive to women. Why is it as someone else pointed out in another thread, that multiple women sometimes tend to go after the same guy? It's because they love how the guy is wanted by so many others, and it builds attraction to them.

 

Nothing really changed, man...

 

Not referring to anyone in particular, but if anything....I think men have fallen short(sorry -no pun intended), and now expect quality women to be falling all over them when they are living at home, pulling their dicks, eating pizza and playing Xbox...

 

There werent as many of these types of guys some 20-30 years ago that there are today..Not that I remember, anyway...Women are doing better in white collar professions and men arent taking advantage of the huge opportunities that exist in the blue collar fields...So they sit at home, with their 2.5 GPA Business Administration degree, unemployed or with a shyt job, and their unkept appearance and their lousy physique..and cry in their beer that they cant get laid...

 

What do you expect from a woman? Does that sound appealing if you were a woman with a good career and some looks? It wouldnt to me...

 

And yes...Women flock to good looking and successful guys....No prize for stating the obvious..And yes, there are less quality guys right now then quality women, IMO...

 

These guys need to step up their game....im not so sure its about being picky as it is just supply and demand...

 

TFY

[Harold of Andraste]

I think the difference between picky and entitled comes down whether you find what you want. If you manage to do it you're picky but if you can't and then complain about how you're alone you're entitled. Also what you bring to the table will factor in: if you're in good shape and want someone in good shape you have standards, but if you're a pot bellied slob who wants a good bodied partner you're entitled.

 

That was pretty much my thought.

 

If you can't date who you want, people will call you entitiled for wanting it.

 

If you can date who you want, you're just picky, and there isn't anything wrong with that.

[ThaWholigan]

It does not make a difference if he is projecting he is pointing out something that I notice as well. He does not understand why so many people especially here pretend it is not true

 

But who the f-ck are you guys to tell everybody that they are lying and that their perception of reality is BS? How do you know that we experience things the same way? How do you know that everyone only goes by arbitary status markers such as looks and money - and furthermore, who determines exactly what kind of look or socioeconimic status is preferred for said person?

 

You don't know. That's the answer. If your hypothesis is that we are all denying our own true desires for some kind of PC reason on an anonymous board, then you are the ones who are being dishonest. So keep your view. Its obviously something real you experience in the circles and demographics you move in - but don't paint us all with the same brush.

[Mangina]

Yeah, in the areas that you can. Getting a good job alone, gives you way more options.

 

I will become a veterinarian with in the next year it will raise my salary to about 60,000 to start with and about 75,000 in a few years.

 

I am looking in to jaw surgery to get rid of my underbite and add a jaw line. It is not guaranteed to solve my issue it will not even put me in the very handsome department but what it might do is make me a little bit easier to look at so that if girls like my personality I am less likely to get friend zoned. All the while being realistic about what I am looking for in a girl which most likely will not weight in too much on looks as I am not conventionally attractive myself.

[Mangina]

But who the f-ck are you guys to tell everybody that they are lying and that their perception of reality is BS? How do you know that we experience things the same way? How do you know that everyone only goes by arbitary status markers such as looks and money - and furthermore, who determines exactly what kind of look or socioeconimic status is preferred for said person?

 

You don't know. That's the answer. If your hypothesis is that we are all denying our own true desires for some kind of PC reason on an anonymous board, then you are the ones who are being dishonest. So keep your view. Its obviously something real you experience in the circles and demographics you move in - but don't paint us all with the same brush.

 

You admitted it your self the other day. You are more cynical than in your posts you up play the super positive image. You are one of these people I do not understand. Why don't you pretend in real life instead of on here? You know this is an anonymous forum where you do not have to pretend anything.

[NJ123]

People should be more picky but in the right ways. People these days will dismiss somebody because they drive the wrong color car but if they are married then no big deal,

 

lol I remember a thread on here with someone stating they didn't want to date them due to their car. Was pretty sad to see.

[Mangina]

lol I remember a thread on here with someone stating they didn't want to date them due to their car. Was pretty sad to see.

 

Let me guess they got bashed for being honest?

[NJ123]

But who the f-ck are you guys to tell everybody that they are lying and that their perception of reality is BS? How do you know that we experience things the same way? How do you know that everyone only goes by arbitary status markers such as looks and money - and furthermore, who determines exactly what kind of look or socioeconimic status is preferred for said person?

 

You don't know. That's the answer. If your hypothesis is that we are all denying our own true desires for some kind of PC reason on an anonymous board, then you are the ones who are being dishonest. So keep your view. Its obviously something real you experience in the circles and demographics you move in - but don't paint us all with the same brush.

 

Because as I said, things aren't like they are in the movies. Where the poor guy wins over the pretty rich girl. A poor guy isn't getting a beautiful woman with a lot going for her. It's extremely rare to see. As I pointed out plenty of times before a man needs a good job, a lot of dating experience, a good personality, good status, good looks to have a ton of options. A woman needs to be attractive to have a lot of options. Those are facts, why argue about it when that's just how it is.

[NJ123]

Let me guess they got bashed for being honest?

 

Absolutely. I honestly disagreed with them for not dating them due to something so ridiculous though. But when I think about it now, at least they admitted that was the reason why.

[NJ123]

I will become a veterinarian with in the next year it will raise my salary to about 60,000 to start with and about 75,000 in a few years.

 

I am looking in to jaw surgery to get rid of my underbite and add a jaw line. It is not guaranteed to solve my issue it will not even put me in the very handsome department but what it might do is make me a little bit easier to look at so that if girls like my personality I am less likely to get friend zoned. All the while being realistic about what I am looking for in a girl which most likely will not weight in too much on looks as I am not conventionally attractive myself.

 

You're going to do just fine. I'd say to forget the jaw surgery though.

[contact1]

Just quickly skimming through this thread, the only things mentioned by the OP seem to just be superficial attributes that only matter to both gender.

 

As a guy, I will say that looks are not the only thing I would be looking for in a woman. Coming out of a marriage in where I was with a woman many would consider beautiful, I have come to learn the inner qualities of a person are much more valuable than the external factors.

 

Yes having an attractive partner is great, who doesn't want to be with someone that they find extremely attractive. But in the long haul of things, what really matters, imo, is a person attitude and personality, who they are as a person. This is something I feel a lot people learn over time, as they mature, what really matters is how the other person makes you feel, your comfort level.

 

I get the notion that having a good career, being tall, attractive, sociable, and such give the notion that these types of guys will have a litter of women throwing themselves at them, and will leave all guys that do not fit this criteria to be doom to be alone forever.

 

But here's the thing, if you are basing your life, your decision in what you do as far as career, how you take care of yourself, how you "train" yourself to interact, all for the purpose of trying to win a woman over, you are setting yourself up for failure.

 

Your life should not revolve around the notion of trying to get a woman to be with you. Your life should be about you and what you want to do and be as a person. When someone does something that they love, and are doing things they enjoy for themselves and not to please others, they come off as being confident, because in essence they are, they are confident in themselves. And that is probably the biggest key factor to attract another person.

 

If you aim at just getting a woman for validation, it will never be filled. On top of that, if your life revolves around just her, and you always do things just to please her and to make sure she never leaves you, aka be a doormat, she will lose respect for you (if she even had any to begin with), end up leaving, and now what are you left with? Bunch of things you built up doing just to get a woman, so in essence nothing.

[Mangina]

You're going to do just fine. I'd say to forget the jaw surgery though.

 

NJ123 it is like I told you on your other thread you are thinking that being short is an issue well that is only online in the real world I see short guys with pretty girls all the time. Now ugly is an issue for real not just online. However true the short this is being ugly is worse It makes things very difficult for both genders

[NJ123]

Nothing really changed, man...

 

Not referring to anyone in particular, but if anything....I think men have fallen short(sorry -no pun intended), and now expect quality women to be falling all over them when they are living at home, pulling their dicks, eating pizza and playing Xbox...

 

There werent as many of these types of guys some 20-30 years ago that there are today..Not that I remember, anyway...Women are doing better in white collar professions and men arent taking advantage of the huge opportunities that exist in the blue collar fields...So they sit at home, with their 2.5 GPA Business Administration degree, unemployed or with a shyt job, and their unkept appearance and their lousy physique..and cry in their beer that they cant get laid...

 

What do you expect from a woman? Does that sound appealing if you were a woman with a good career and some looks? It wouldnt to me...

 

And yes...Women flock to good looking and successful guys....No prize for stating the obvious..And yes, there are less quality guys right now then quality women, IMO...

 

These guys need to step up their game....im not so sure its about being picky as it is just supply and demand...

 

TFY

 

But do a lot of these women have a lot going for them themselves? Or are they still going for these guys regardless of what they bring to the table?

[ThaWholigan]

You admitted it your self the other day. You are more cynical than in your posts you up play the super positive image. You are one of these people I do not understand. Why don't you pretend in real life instead of on here? You know this is an anonymous forum where you do not have to pretend anything.

I'm not pretending about anything. Here's the thing:

 

I've been in demographics where I've seen literally everything you guys have seen. Looks, money, status - the lot. I've seen it first hand and you will be hard pressed to see me say anywhere that this doesn't exist. That's not the point here.

 

I've also been in demographics where this is not the case. People who are attracted to different looks, who aren't that bothered if their partner has a 6 figure income, who have a more nuanced attraction model (which most people do anyway, even the shallow among us). This is also not debatable because these people exist and they aren't all that rare either.

 

Now what you and NJ123 fail to do is be respectful of other's perception of reality. I'm more surprised at NJ123 to be honest because he was just in the mental health thread admonishing posters for the same thing he does all the time on here. The immediate assertion of lies on the part of those who don't experience things the way you do is insulting.

 

Now, make no mistake, I have never denied that LMS matters to people. It does. We all know that. The degree with which it matters to everyone fluctuates in my experience. In yours, its the same for "everyone" and anyone who doesn't see it your way is "lying". That's why you guys get so much sh-t.

 

As for my cynicism - that's more to do with the fact that as much as I love people, people suck in general. And people desperate for confirmation bias and badger people into "admitting" things that do not figure into their overall consciousness, are certainly high up in the list of people who suck.

[NJ123]

NJ123 it is like I told you on your other thread you are thinking that being short is an issue well that is only online in the real world I see short guys with pretty girls all the time. Now ugly is an issue for real not just online. However true the short this is being ugly is worse It makes things very difficult for both genders

 

Well, I don't care about the height issue anymore. I know short men have way less options but it is what it is. I wouldn't want to get to know someone that was so shallow about height anyway. And true, people deemed as unattractive do have it the worst in terms of dating. No doubt about that.

[NJ123]

Just quickly skimming through this thread, the only things mentioned by the OP seem to just be superficial attributes that only matter to both gender.

 

As a guy, I will say that looks are not the only thing I would be looking for in a woman. Coming out of a marriage in where I was with a woman many would consider beautiful, I have come to learn the inner qualities of a person are much more valuable than the external factors.

 

Yes having an attractive partner is great, who doesn't want to be with someone that they find extremely attractive. But in the long haul of things, what really matters, imo, is a person attitude and personality, who they are as a person. This is something I feel a lot people learn over time, as they mature, what really matters is how the other person makes you feel, your comfort level.

 

I get the notion that having a good career, being tall, attractive, sociable, and such give the notion that these types of guys will have a litter of women throwing themselves at them, and will leave all guys that do not fit this criteria to be doom to be alone forever.

 

But here's the thing, if you are basing your life, your decision in what you do as far as career, how you take care of yourself, how you "train" yourself to interact, all for the purpose of trying to win a woman over, you are setting yourself up for failure.

 

Your life should not revolve around the notion of trying to get a woman to be with you. Your life should be about you and what you want to do and be as a person. When someone does something that they love, and are doing things they enjoy for themselves and not to please others, they come off as being confident, because in essence they are, they are confident in themselves. And that is probably the biggest key factor to attract another person.

 

If you aim at just getting a woman for validation, it will never be filled. On top of that, if your life revolves around just her, and you always do things just to please her and to make sure she never leaves you, aka be a doormat, she will lose respect for you (if she even had any to begin with), end up leaving, and now what are you left with? Bunch of things you built up doing just to get a woman, so in essence nothing.

 

But no man wants to be settled for. That's why people need to know their own worth in dating so that doesn't happen.

[NJ123]

I'm not pretending about anything. Here's the thing:

 

I've been in demographics where I've seen literally everything you guys have seen. Looks, money, status - the lot. I've seen it first hand and you will be hard pressed to see me say anywhere that this doesn't exist. That's not the point here.

 

I've also been in demographics where this is not the case. People who are attracted to different looks, who aren't that bothered if their partner has a 6 figure income, who have a more nuanced attraction model (which most people do anyway, even the shallow among us). This is also not debatable because these people exist and they aren't all that rare either.

 

Now what you and NJ123 fail to do is be respectful of other's perception of reality. I'm more surprised at NJ123 to be honest because he was just in the mental health thread admonishing posters for the same thing he does all the time on here. The immediate assertion of lies on the part of those who don't experience things the way you do is insulting.

 

Now, make no mistake, I have never denied that LMS matters to people. It does. We all know that. The degree with which it matters to everyone fluctuates in my experience. In yours, its the same for "everyone" and anyone who doesn't see it your way is "lying". That's why you guys get so much sh-t.

 

As for my cynicism - that's more to do with the fact that as much as I love people, people suck in general. And people desperate for confirmation bias and badger people into "admitting" things that do not figure into their overall consciousness, are certainly high up in the list of people who suck.

 

Some people in that thread were stating flat out wrong things about those issues. And I called them out on it. Those people had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. And what exactly do I do all the time on here? Make up things that aren't true? Give me examples of things I lied about or made things up?

[Mangina]

I'm not pretending about anything. Here's the thing:

 

I've been in demographics where I've seen literally everything you guys have seen. Looks, money, status - the lot. I've seen it first hand and you will be hard pressed to see me say anywhere that this doesn't exist. That's not the point here.

 

I've also been in demographics where this is not the case. People who are attracted to different looks, who aren't that bothered if their partner has a 6 figure income, who have a more nuanced attraction model (which most people do anyway, even the shallow among us). This is also not debatable because these people exist and they aren't all that rare either.

 

Now what you and NJ123 fail to do is be respectful of other's perception of reality. I'm more surprised at NJ123 to be honest because he was just in the mental health thread admonishing posters for the same thing he does all the time on here. The immediate assertion of lies on the part of those who don't experience things the way you do is insulting.

 

Now, make no mistake, I have never denied that LMS matters to people. It does. We all know that. The degree with which it matters to everyone fluctuates in my experience. In yours, its the same for "everyone" and anyone who doesn't see it your way is "lying". That's why you guys get so much sh-t.

 

As for my cynicism - that's more to do with the fact that as much as I love people, people suck in general. And people desperate for confirmation bias and badger people into "admitting" things that do not figure into their overall consciousness, are certainly high up in the list of people who suck.

 

The demographics where people are not concerned with looks money status would that happen to be this forum?

[autumnnight]

But no man wants to be settled for. That's why people need to know their own worth in dating so that doesn't happen.

 

Honestly, I think the problem a lot people have is overestimating and lying tovthemselves aboutvtheir worth so they can create a world wherevthey are entitled to Elle McPherson.

[Mangina]

Some people in that thread were stating flat out wrong things about those issues. And I called them out on it. Those people had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. And what exactly do I do all the time on here? Make up things that aren't true? Give me examples of things I lied about or made things up?

 

Exactly at what point do you not counter peoples claims with reality when they say the sky is green? I am not saying that can not be true as I do not live where they do but that is not normal if what they are saying is true by some way they should understand that is a rare and not likely in other places.