Jess cms Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 It really depends on the guy and the intensity of his pursuit. If he's laid back, not desperate or needy about it, just persistant and undaunted then there's always an eventual chance of success. If he goes home and cries in his pillow after every rejection or sends her 15 unanswered messages every week it's probably not gonna work out. I guess you're right, it's probably all about attitude xD I was talking before about the guy who told me he had feelings for me last weekend because that's a situation that relates to this particular topic. But now that you said that I actually have another recent example. It's actually something that's really bothering right now but anyway.. in the beginning he gave me all that typical talk and I can honestly say I was NOT interested whatsoever. But he was able to change my mind... now I just wish I'd put an end to it when I had the chance xD but anyway, yeah.. I guess you're right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 (edited) Going to HR because a male coworker who had been told to please leave me alone decided to grab my breast at work is overreacting? Huh. Funny, HR thought the same thing. He received no punishment and got to keep his job. I'd been raped a few years before that happened and no, I will never believe I overreacted and I will never let anyone tell me that it was an OK thing for him to do. Wait, I think we are talking about completely different people. I'm sorry, I completely misunderstood your previous posts. I have, and he was NOT put in the friendzone. He was put in the "you seriously need to stop it you are freaking me out do not ever talk to me again" zone. Not even close to what this thread topic is about. That post was about your coworker right? If so, then my following posts are invalid. I apologize. Edited March 8, 2015 by somedude81 Link to post Share on other sites
the tank Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 It remember a girl last year who told me we should be friend after three dates. She never heard of me... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 It remember a girl last year who told me we should be friend after three dates. She never heard of me... yea thats the way to do it. i would have told her that i don't do the friends thing and then walked away Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I also believed that she was a high value girl and wouldn't say yes to anybody right away. That she took time to win over. That's a misconception. She will say yes right away when she meets a guy she's interested, as far as going out with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 That's a misconception. She will say yes right away when she meets a guy she's interested, as far as going out with him. Of course it's a misconception. But they are still things I still try to tell myself to explain why she is saying no to me now. There really isn't much logic involved when continuing to pursue woman who already said no. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Yeah, that's true. We look for any loophole to give us hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Harold of Andraste Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 I have, and he was NOT put in the friendzone. He was put in the "you seriously need to stop it you are freaking me out do not ever talk to me again" zone. Not even close to what this thread topic is about. Were you talking about somedude or somebody else? Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Were you talking about somedude or somebody else? That is indeed a very strange question to be asking, Harold of Andraste. Link to post Share on other sites
Harold of Andraste Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 That is indeed a very strange question to be asking, Harold of Andraste. I think he was talking about himself in his first post. I've been lurking on this forum for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 It's blind hope mixed with lack of understanding subtext. You know which kind of zone you're in as a friend if you're perceptive. If it's the "brother" zone, the "acquaintance" zone or the "he's cool, I might f*ck him one day" zone or the "definitely intrigued" zone.... This! Where there is sexual tension, there is a chance. No tension, no chance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 I think some men pursue the woman they "love" incessantly, only because they hear how their friend or friends married their "best friend" or so they put it. They hear these stories of how this married couple, who knew each other "as friends" for years...and they got married. So the guy, who gets friend zoned, tends to hang around the woman that doesn't return her love thinking that he'll mirror that very same scenario. Anyone find any truth in that? I think that the two cases can't be compared. If a guy marries his best friend, chances are it was because after a while, the two people realized that they fell in love. I don't think that its comparable to a guy incessantly pursuing a woman even though she rejects him multiple times, and basically making a pest of himself. Maybe there are cases that exist, the incessant pursuing of the man resulting in success, but I have never heard of these cases personally and the majority of the time the outcome in such situations isn't positive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted March 9, 2015 Author Share Posted March 9, 2015 I think that the two cases can't be compared. If a guy marries his best friend, chances are it was because after a while, the two people realized that they fell in love. I don't think that its comparable to a guy incessantly pursuing a woman even though she rejects him multiple times, and basically making a pest of himself. Maybe there are cases that exist, the incessant pursuing of the man resulting in success, but I have never heard of these cases personally and the majority of the time the outcome in such situations isn't positive. Actually, I know of a woman or a few women...but one woman recently said a man had asked her out 3 or 4 times, she said no each time (or blew him off) and she told me that she finally decided to give him a go on the 5th time and since then they've dated. I've heard stories where the wife of a married couple would say "My husband must've asked me out 5 times, before I said yes!" ...so there ya go. lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 LOL! What a goofy interaction. Yes I was speaking about myself. Then I saw the post about being in the "you seriously need to stop it you are freaking me out do not ever talk to me again zone. " I thought was directed at me. Then my next few posts were about that. Ha! I feel like an idiot Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 It's blind hope mixed with lack of understanding subtext. You know which kind of zone you're in as a friend if you're perceptive. If it's the "brother" zone, the "acquaintance" zone or the "he's cool, I might f*ck him one day" zone or the "definitely intrigued" zone.... This! Where there is sexual tension, there is a chance. No tension, no chance. That goes back to what I said earlier. Usually the friendzone only happens to guys who are inexperienced with women and thus they can't tell what zone they are in. Or, they think that they are in the "he's cool, I might f*ck him one day" zone. That's definitely where I thought I was with BG. Of course a nice helping of denial doesn't hurt either. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 I can agree there are different subzones within the friendzone. Many men ime believe they are in the sexual zone of the friendzone when they are not. Im a girl who has never chosen a guy for a friend when I was attracted to him. If I wanted to hang around guys I am attracted to, I would date. This has caused a lot of problems for me (sexual harassment, stalking, etc). I guess its romantic to think asking a girl out repeatedly will work ( sometimes it does), but lettuce be real in most instances theres probably a reason a guy is fzed. Ive seen women use their male friends aka suitors as potential sexual partners, but the men were very attractive. By fz I mean guys who I thought were friends and not guys I had previously turned down. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Or, they think that they are in the "he's cool, I might f*ck him one day" zone. That's definitely where I thought I was with BG. Of course a nice helping of denial doesn't hurt either. The way you just described BG though doesn't sound like you thought she'd think this way, I don't think you saw her as a potential casual sex partner did you really?? Anyway to you and other guys here, it is a really good idea to take "no" for an answer unless you are getting strong signals and MUTUAL sexual tension, you can't "fight for" something that isn't there at all!! somedude81 I am not saying you are a creep, I really don't think you are, but if a girl lets a guy know that she really is not interested and he still doesn't let up that is one of the things that does come off as creepy. Regarding the "friend zone" some girls and guys really are friends even if one has the hots or is in love with the other one, but some girl you don't know and keep pursuing romantically or sexually isn't your friend no matter what she calls it!! Link to post Share on other sites
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