windows Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I recently came out of a relationship about 3 weeks ago. I thought I was feeling fine about it all but tonight I'm feeling like the pits. It started when I started considering whether I could start asking out anyone new, and seeing whether a date could come out of this - but with every girl I consider, something in me says, "But you have no reason to believe she'd want to go out with you anyway". I thought it was just me being logical at first, but as my thought process went on, my mind systematically shut down every name that came to mind. I think I have a problem with my self-esteem. What should I do? I don't want to keep feeling as though my every attempt to ask a girl out is rigged with rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I don’t feel good therefore I am bad therefore no one loves me. I feel good therefore I am good therefore everyone loves me. I am good You do not love me therefore you are bad. So I do not love you. I am good You love me therefore you are good. So I love you. I am bad You love me therefore you are bad. - RD Laing, Knots. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jess cms Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 So... you don't think you deserve to be loved again? Did I get it right? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I don't want to keep feeling as though my every attempt to ask a girl out is rigged with rejection. There's a part of yourself that tells you that you're unloveable. Thats not uncommon. Its something that can be worked on, but its too soon after the breakup to be digging deeply into your psyche. Just concentrate on making yourself feel as good as you can for now. ********************************************************* 1. Recognise that you're still in the crisis phase - you are very hurt, disappointed and angry, but the intensity of your feelings will reduce. 2. Don't suppress your feelings, or tell yourself that you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling - that never helps. 3. Externalise your feelings by writing them down, talking to a trustworthy person, or using any other mode of expression that feels right. 4. Remind yourself frequently that you can and will have a good life without this person. 5. Tell yourself frequently that you can and will love again. 6. Take care of your body: Eat enough and eat healthily. Drink enough water. Thats 2 litres for a male. Get a bit more rest than you think you need. Do some easy exercise - nothing too strenuous. If you feel physically unwell go to see your doctor. 7. Do not allow yourself to become socially isolated or withdrawn. 8. Establish Total No Contact with your ex. No contact directly, indirectly, or by social media. 9. Keep up with all your responsibilities and things you have to do. 10. Do not use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to self-medicate. 11. Post here as often as you want to. People here want to help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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