Comparing yourself to other people.

[E-Squared]

Does this happen to you? Has this happened to you before? You know, when you see some people with lives who seem better than yours, and you feel left-out or behind.

 

I have been there many times. I have seen people on Facebook who I went to high school with, and they are married, have kids and seemingly a good life, whereas me, I am still struggling with school, I don't have a family, nor do I have a real job (I mostly work as a seasonal in the spring time for the filing season) but I am trying to make something of myself. Sure, I am not in the standard of graduating college at 22 or 23 like a lot of other people, but I am trying to make something of myself.

 

I remember in the past, when I was about 24 or 25, I was given a lecture by a coworker, who is the same age as I am, about how I am not married nor have kids at this age. Somehow, I wondered why that was an issue. So I haven't settled down at the standard/ideal age.

 

Has this ever happened to you?

[Arieswoman]

E-squared,

 

I remember in the past, when I was about 24 or 25, I was given a lecture by a coworker, who is the same age as I am, about how I am not married nor have kids at this age.

 

That busybody needs to get a life. If she was so happy with her situation she wouldn't be sticking her beak into yours. Ignore her.

 

Somehow, I wondered why that was an issue.

It isn't - only to sad people like that.

 

These days women are getting married later and later because they want to experience life/travel/establish a career etc before they settle down. And why not? It makes you a more interesting person if you have some life skills and experiences.

 

Don't sweat it, you'll do fine !

 

Good luck x

[Satu]

Nothing you have done is without purpose and meaning.

 

You story is unique to you.

 

What do you want to happen next?

[SerCay]

Does this happen to you? Has this happened to you before? You know, when you see some people with lives who seem better than yours, and you feel left-out or behind.

 

When I was 20, there was this woman at work (mid 30's) who used to question me if I had a new boyfriend/date or not every. single. week.

 

She made me feel sooo so bad about being single.

Now, 8 years later, I know it only made me feel bad because my self esteem was low, my life wasn't fulfilling enough for me.

 

On the other hand, I realize that the only reason that she kept asking me the same thing over and over again, was because that was the only thing she ever knew. She thinks marriage equals happiness, and in order to be happy one needs to be married.

 

In my life I have met soooo many people asking me if I'm seeing someone, or when I'm gonna get serious with someone that I don't even count anymore. Some of those people are still in my life, including close friends and my dad.

 

Society puts pressure on marriage/partnership and a diploma. Let go of this pressure, honestly it's sooo so useless to be thinking that that's the only way you'll be happy. By allowing people to make you feel bad when they as you questions like that, you automatically condition yourself to believing that they're right.

 

Instead find out who you are, and embrace the fact that you're different, don't settle for anyone else's idea of a happy life..

 

Oh and yes...I do feel left out from time to time...

 

Everybody I know has already graduated, and I'm 27 almost 28, and in the 2nd year of my 2nd bachelor. I never finished the first one.

 

simply because I have allowed people to make me believe what the ideal life situation is...it's a work in progress though...soon I will be able to let it go...social media wasn't really helping me either, I noticed that it influenced me to see people bragging about stuff that seem normal to me. But the idea that my normal made them soooo imeensely happy made me feel that there's something wrong with me.

Edited March 8, 2015 by SerCay
forgot to answer your initial question haha

[Bobbi7]

Oh yeah! I've had those nagging older women at work, family friends, that would constantly asking if I'm married, have boyfriend, have kids. I swear, I like they get off asking those questions, because they sure enjoy it putting their business where its not suppose to be. Its disgusting. I just lie to co-workers, I tell them I live with my boyfriend. And most likely they will never know because they are not real friends and will never call me, hang out with me or go over to my place....

[Phoe]

Yes I've done it, and when I do it, I inevitably start doing it more and end up in an awful cycle.

 

Nothing good comes of it, it only makes me feel badly about myself.

 

I try to just have self-control and wash away the bad thoughts and feelings from my mind and focus on the things that really make me feel nice, whatever those things may be!

[Phoe]

Or the inevitable insinuations from others that "something must be wrong" with me.

 

No! no no no.

[E-Squared]

E-squared,

 

 

 

That busybody needs to get a life. If she was so happy with her situation she wouldn't be sticking her beak into yours. Ignore her.

 

It isn't - only to sad people like that.

 

These days women are getting married later and later because they want to experience life/travel/establish a career etc before they settle down. And why not? It makes you a more interesting person if you have some life skills and experiences.

 

Don't sweat it, you'll do fine !

 

Good luck x

It was a male coworker who said that, by the way. Anyway, I agree with you. I have also heard from some people about how people who settle down so soon are up to their necks in debt and struggling. While I may not have a family of my own, I still feel like I have support from my parents and my sister and her family. They support me in what I do.

[gaius]

I compare myself to other guys all the time, but I always come out on top. Can't even remember the last time I ran into a guy I felt intimidated by. And I'm not joking.