How important was sex in starting and continuing your affair?

[Dark Passenger]

It was one of the reasons why I strayed in the first place. Every time we tried to take a break or say goodbye, we would end up having very passionate sex and then continue the affair. After sex, it seemed like any reason we wanted to stop was overshadowed and it made everything else between us seem better, more connected, more loving.

 

I think even more so for her. She would do things with me sexually that she never did with anyone. We are both in our early 40s.

 

What are your thoughts/experiences?

[minimariah]

i was just talking about this with my friend (who is a WS) the other day.

 

she too strayed because she got stuck in a sexless marriage (not sure if that was your situation, too) - & the sex with her AP is amazing. she says it's probably the most important thing that keeps her and her AP together - that incredible passion & trying out all the new things. it makes it VERY hard to break things off even though she tried to many times.

 

she also says that her AP wouldn't be a good life partner (when you remove sex) but the sex made it hard to focus on anything else, basically.

 

i think sex is more important to those who have little to no intimacy with their spouses. in my example (i was a BS) - me & my xH had a fantastic sex life and there wasn't a thing, kink or a pose (literally) that we didn't try out. we both had super strong libidos & were having sex literally until the end. however - we were lacking in emotional department & communication in every day life. to him, sex wasn't the main thing that kept him with his AP - it was the emotional connection they had.

[Daisy2013]

Sex was not our priority. My M is virtually sexless, my choice bc of our M...it's not good and hasn't been for years. He claims to be in a sexless one as well, and swears by it today. It wasn't important to him in our affair. We did have sex a few times after 3 years together, but ours was based on our friendship going back years and emotional intimacy that neither of us have at home. We just enjoyed being together and talking and snuggling. We were very physical, just not lots of actual sex. In fact, we could get together and just hold each other for an hour or more, and never get physical. It was about our friendship and connection. The emotional intimacy and connection held us together.

[still_an_Angel]

Kink and sex is what brought us together to start with. He's my dom and i'm his sub.It's very intense and still is . However, along the way our relationship evolved and crossed over to a full blown A. The emotional and intellectual connection is very strong.